Wednesday/Hump Day/Bitch about your husband day

I know my title isn't very original but hey, I'm tired. When I stayed at home all day, everyday, I loved Hump Day. It was the middle of the week. Yep, that was how boring it was when the weekend didn't really mean much to me.

So I worked Monday and Tuesday this week. I typed my fingers raw and stood on my feet all day. BTW, still haven't gotten a good pair of shoes but I'll refrain from bitching about how sore my feet are. My kids are doing very good with the ten minutes of alone time it takes me to get from the store to the house. Megan has only lost her key once....granted, she only had it two days but baby steps. It's hard being a responsible kid when you're only twelve. She's the most responsible of the two girls I own so I'm pretty lucky.

I've managed to glide into this working mother routine with the grace of a ballerina. If a ballerina wore red shirts and khakis....I'd perform The Nutcracker for you, I would. I've always had a hot meal on the table. I've gone to my husband's soccer games and cheered my fine ass off. I've even helped my kids with their homework. I've actually done more as a working mother than I've ever done as a stay at home mom. Go me! Of course, I completely get that I'm not the minority here. Mom's have been doing this for years. My two week accomplishment is crackers compared to them. But hey, this is me, let me pat myself on the back.

With working though, it has its drawbacks. My husband has found a new button to push. I've mentioned the "buttons" before. Call me a bad mother, a bad wife or anything that I've always tried to be good at....and I fall to pieces. My husband rarely does this but if he's backed into a corner....he says it. It's like the lame comeback, "Oh yeah? Well...um....YOUR MOMMA!" Yeah, that's my husband.

So, what's the new button?

Well, I had a great day yesterday. Only made a few mistakes and even smiled through an episode with a customer that I'm convinced was an idiot. When my husband and I got home almost at the same time, it was obvious from the get go that we weren't going to be able to have a civilized conversation. I had Chicken n' Dumplings in the crock pot. My husband was eating burritos.

Me: What are you eating now?

Him: Another burrito. Why?

Me: Well, let's see. I've got dinner already planned and you're eating your weight in burritos. Why do you think?

Him: ::Slam slam:: Fine. What are you? My mother?

Me: Thank god I'm not your mother because I would've kicked your scrawny ass by now. I don't give a crap what you do. I'll just make sure not to put myself out by getting a hot meal on the table for ya anymore if you'd rather stuff your fat ass with microwave burritos.

Him: You know what? Maybe this working thing isn't working out for ya. If you're going to come home and be a bitch (This was an allowed "bitch" calling.) maybe you shouldn't be working.

Me: You know what? This had nothing to do with work. This is about you being an asshole. Maybe this being married to you isn't working out for me....what should I do about that? (Yah, I went there but he pressed a button. And if he presses the button then I have every right to press my own button.)
So there you have it. That was the button.

1) I'm a bad mother.
2) I'm a bad wife.
3) I'm a bad human being.
4) I'm not cut out for this "working" thing because it's impacting the family.

After I left the premises and cooled off. I went back into the living room and said this.

Me: If you ever say that again about me working and needing to quit because I'm obviously not cut out for it, I'll never forgive you. It won't hurt me anymore. It will just make me mad. I will hate you forever.

Him: Agreed. But I find it hard to believe this started because of a microwave burrito. I think we just had equally hard days and needed to take a breath.

Me: No, this started because I rushed home from a really good day at work, had a really good meal planned and you decided you wanted to stuff your face with crap instead of wait just a little bit for a good meal. But don't worry, I forgive you and I didn't need to take a breath. Can we watch LOST now?

Problem solved....I think.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


  1. My mom didn't work and she was still bitchy.

  2. EXACTLY!!!! It don't matter if they work or not. Something is gonna happen to switch the bitch light on. :)