I am not a religious person by any means. (Said the girl who gave up cussing for Lent) But after waking up this morning and hearing the horrible news of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan and Hawaii bracing for a tsunami as well, I did my Facebook scan and conducted a roll call of sorts. The people I know are safe.
I am heartbroken at the pictures but I don't take it upon myself. I don't run around feeling the heartbreak and act like it's my personal heartbreak. That completely irks me to the point where I wanna strangle people. And don't try to make this about God. I swear, "The earth is crying, the heavens are wreaking havoc on us. We must pray to God." Are you freaking kidding me???? That person is gonna be deleted from my Facebook friends. Don't make this disaster my fault. Don't make it God's either.
I didn't shake the earth. I didn't cause the ripple in the ocean and cause the wall of water to rise. I mean my goodness. Take that bible I know you don't have at the ready and shove it up your butt! (Still not cussing)
I've have had it with people trying to shove God down my throat. My friend posted a status update about her hair falling out and some dummy replied, "You need to let God in your life." Seriously???? God is making her hair fall out? Poor God, he gets blamed for everything obviously. If I was God, I'd be pissed at all the fingers pointed in his/her direction. I sometimes picture him/her saying with his/her hands up, "Wasn't me!"
Now I wanna talk about the news. I'm one of those obsessive people that stay glued to the set watching the devastation over and over again. Since 5am this morning, the breaking news has changed every hour. It's like a horror movie. It's 8am and the tsunami has passed through Hawaii and is threatening the US West Coast. Dude, the waves weren't that bad in Hawaii from what I'm hearing....why are they trying to inflict panic in the West Coast now? What are we waiting for now? I can just imagine my Auntie grabbing her powdered milk and soup cans right now, running through the streets and screaming. Calm down Auntie, put the water jugs down, you'll pull a muscle.
I blame the news for this. They literally and visibly were disappointed Hawaii wasn't obliterated by this tsunami. What a bunch of douchebags! They'll probably commit suicide if there isn't at least one death on American soil.
Happy Friday everybody? Prepare for the "Help Japan" telethons and text JAPAN to At&T to donate. Oh and Brad Pitt? New Orleans ain't back yet.....please don't move to Japan to raise awareness.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friday. Show all posts
3/11/11
10/8/10
TGI.....Three day weekend!
There is absolutely nothing to do this weekend. No soccer games, No Steelers football. What am I going to do besides sit on my ass all weekend?
So yesterday, Dennis Hopper must've took some meds. I swear the guy is bi-polar or something. From the minute I walked in, he was on this kick. What was the kick?
"Can you take care of this Jean? Obviously, you're the only one who actually can."
"I always know when you're working with me, things are going to be done right."
"It's the A-team when it's you and I, it's the only thing that made this 12-hour day bearable."
Um...............WHAT??????
Seriously, on Monday the guy pretty much called me an idiot every 15 minutes. What the hell? And lemme get this out, all those things are NOT true. I work with very good people. They are really good at their jobs. When they walk in, it's like the sun finally came out, the birds started singing. When you're at work by yourself for 5 hours, the afternoon sunshine is like my breath of fresh air.
I have no idea where this 180 degree attitude came from.
1) My friend might've mentioned something to him.
2) My thinking that I hid my annoyance was terribly, terribly wrong.
3) He really is bi-polar and finally filled that medication.
Either way you look at it, it was a great day. A fantastic end to an otherwise up and down week. Today was payday and like my fellow technician said, "It's already gone." I had plans for this paycheck and those plans have been paid for.
It's gonna be a hot one this weekend. You'll be happy to know that I didn't pack the tank tops or tube tops away yet. They will be probably making their final appearance this weekend. Have a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday. I'll be the one probably whining that it's Monday again. ;)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So yesterday, Dennis Hopper must've took some meds. I swear the guy is bi-polar or something. From the minute I walked in, he was on this kick. What was the kick?
"Can you take care of this Jean? Obviously, you're the only one who actually can."
"I always know when you're working with me, things are going to be done right."
"It's the A-team when it's you and I, it's the only thing that made this 12-hour day bearable."
Um...............WHAT??????
Seriously, on Monday the guy pretty much called me an idiot every 15 minutes. What the hell? And lemme get this out, all those things are NOT true. I work with very good people. They are really good at their jobs. When they walk in, it's like the sun finally came out, the birds started singing. When you're at work by yourself for 5 hours, the afternoon sunshine is like my breath of fresh air.
I have no idea where this 180 degree attitude came from.
1) My friend might've mentioned something to him.
2) My thinking that I hid my annoyance was terribly, terribly wrong.
3) He really is bi-polar and finally filled that medication.
Either way you look at it, it was a great day. A fantastic end to an otherwise up and down week. Today was payday and like my fellow technician said, "It's already gone." I had plans for this paycheck and those plans have been paid for.
It's gonna be a hot one this weekend. You'll be happy to know that I didn't pack the tank tops or tube tops away yet. They will be probably making their final appearance this weekend. Have a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday. I'll be the one probably whining that it's Monday again. ;)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
8/27/10
Title....that's all I got. ;)
Oh good god people, all of you working people are my heroes. How in the hell do you do it? Waking up every morning, just as the sun is rising to get your asses to work? Since school has started, I've realized that I have to start taking better care of myself. Cause I gotta tell you, being this tired is NOT normal.
I'm NOT pregnant so hush.
Yesterday was my first long day. And what I mean by long is the same thing every normal person does. 8 whole hours. ((GASP)) Yah, I realize, the act of feeling sorry for me is far from your thoughts. Suck it up Jeanie....everybody does it. I have a friend who I used to work with before that works hard like all you other people. He works at a hospital pharmacy and lives in New Orleans. He took a chance on an adventure and royally feels screwed.
He's not even 30 yet though. He has a gorgeous wife and absolutely no kids. He had every right to take a chance and has every right to continue to do it. Yesterday on his blog, he made an announcement that he was starting a new one. I miss those moments in my life where an adventure was a possibility.
http://reflectiondisposition.wordpress.com/author/mileskw/
I've been where he was where the world was my oyster and there wasn't a care in the world. I would drive fast, take spur of the moment trips to nowhere and take a giant leap into the unknown. I envy him actually. I don't envy the heartache of endeavors failing along the way but I do envy the excitement of those endeavors.
So my friend, my long lost brother from another mother, you will fail sometimes but you will accomplish so much in the end too. Because with every failure, there is an adventure you'll never regret. I believe in you and wish you luck.
Happy Friday everybody....I'm going back to bed! :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again
I'm NOT pregnant so hush.
Yesterday was my first long day. And what I mean by long is the same thing every normal person does. 8 whole hours. ((GASP)) Yah, I realize, the act of feeling sorry for me is far from your thoughts. Suck it up Jeanie....everybody does it. I have a friend who I used to work with before that works hard like all you other people. He works at a hospital pharmacy and lives in New Orleans. He took a chance on an adventure and royally feels screwed.
He's not even 30 yet though. He has a gorgeous wife and absolutely no kids. He had every right to take a chance and has every right to continue to do it. Yesterday on his blog, he made an announcement that he was starting a new one. I miss those moments in my life where an adventure was a possibility.
http://reflectiondisposition.wordpress.com/author/mileskw/
I've been where he was where the world was my oyster and there wasn't a care in the world. I would drive fast, take spur of the moment trips to nowhere and take a giant leap into the unknown. I envy him actually. I don't envy the heartache of endeavors failing along the way but I do envy the excitement of those endeavors.
So my friend, my long lost brother from another mother, you will fail sometimes but you will accomplish so much in the end too. Because with every failure, there is an adventure you'll never regret. I believe in you and wish you luck.
Happy Friday everybody....I'm going back to bed! :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again
7/16/10
I am never alone.
Seriously, nobody is. If you feel alone, you're just choosing to be alone. I always have somebody to reach out to or keep me company. It can be anybody but I've got my favorites. I think I'm a favorite on some other people's list too.
What about the oblivious nature of people that want to be in your life that you don't see? Nnnnnnnnnnnnope, not me. I see everybody. I pay attention. I think more people should pay attention. There would be a lot less people in the world with frowns on their faces.
Is this just me? Am I the only person that finds the silver lining in a shitty situation? Let me clarify, life hands out shitty situations all the time, people contribute to the shitty situation. What do you do to get out of the shitty situation? Depends, right?
You can either bathe in the shit or grab some soap.
I'd like to think the better choice is to grab the soap. DON'T BEND OVER TO GET IT THOUGH! Cause life will screw you that way too.
I love Fridays. It's an end. It was that light at the end of the tunnel. It's the day that means my family isn't passing each other and grunting hellos along the way. We can take a moment to say hi and actually have a conversation. I think that's the most important thing. Actually asking the question, "How was your week?" Giving a shit, so to speak. Cause the week is gone. It's ovah! It's all behind you now. Find your light. Find your moment. Just take one second to look around and see who's there. It might surprise you.
There might be someone standing there with his/her hand out for you to hold if you need it. And it's like the forgotten or missed high-five. It hurts if you're the one standing there with your hand out and nobody takes it. And next time? They ain't gonna be there anymore.
I feel like Jack Handy today. :) Have a fabulous weekend. It'll be over before we know it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
What about the oblivious nature of people that want to be in your life that you don't see? Nnnnnnnnnnnnope, not me. I see everybody. I pay attention. I think more people should pay attention. There would be a lot less people in the world with frowns on their faces.
Is this just me? Am I the only person that finds the silver lining in a shitty situation? Let me clarify, life hands out shitty situations all the time, people contribute to the shitty situation. What do you do to get out of the shitty situation? Depends, right?
You can either bathe in the shit or grab some soap.
I'd like to think the better choice is to grab the soap. DON'T BEND OVER TO GET IT THOUGH! Cause life will screw you that way too.
I love Fridays. It's an end. It was that light at the end of the tunnel. It's the day that means my family isn't passing each other and grunting hellos along the way. We can take a moment to say hi and actually have a conversation. I think that's the most important thing. Actually asking the question, "How was your week?" Giving a shit, so to speak. Cause the week is gone. It's ovah! It's all behind you now. Find your light. Find your moment. Just take one second to look around and see who's there. It might surprise you.
There might be someone standing there with his/her hand out for you to hold if you need it. And it's like the forgotten or missed high-five. It hurts if you're the one standing there with your hand out and nobody takes it. And next time? They ain't gonna be there anymore.
I feel like Jack Handy today. :) Have a fabulous weekend. It'll be over before we know it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/28/10
I promise....
...to not turn this blog into a diabetic diary. Yah, it's going to be mine and my daughter's life but as I've heard over and over this week, "Your dreams don't end with diabetes," my blog will still be here for me to vent my frustrations. And holy shit, do I have some frustrations!
Today's is a little late and I apologize. M came home today. I am somewhat happy and scared to have her home. I stated on my Facebook status update that I was the proud owner of a diabetic but with that comes my fear. I am responsible for her health now. Wasn't I responsible for it before? Well, yes, but now I can seriously do some damage. That scares the shit out of me. Any glitch and I am personally responsible for quite possibly damaging this little one. Oh the pressure!
She looks great! It's amazing how "well" she looks now. With the medicine, I actually could see how sick she looked before. Her little pot belly is coming back. Her cheeks are puffing out a bit. Her tiny little double chin in starting to peek out. I kind of missed her and it's nice to have her back.
Okay, lemme tell you how proud of her I am. She is so brave. While I teared up with every milestone of this disease, she just shrugged her shoulders and got over it. Her main complaint was being hungry. She had a hamburger and onion rings at almost every meal. Diabetes isn't about not eating, lemme tell ya! And thank the lord because this girl can eat! With my pride of how brave she is, I was also privileged to witness how strong she was. Here ya go people, take a glimpse and let her inspire you.
M (daughter): Can we go to the gift shop?
Me: Sure but I ain't got any money.
M (daughter): Not even for your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter???
Me: Not even for her sweetie, but I sure do love my diabetic daughter and how she's already using the system of guilt on me.
Our friend brought her over a gift tonight and the gift was earrings. They were beautiful but M doesn't have pierced ears.
Me: It's okay M, we can exchange em for maybe a necklace.
Husband: Oh, they for pierced ears?
M (daughter): Yah.
Husband: Well since you're not playing soccer anymore you can get em pierced.
M (daughter): That wasn't why I didn't have em pierced dad. I was scared of the needle. I guess that excuse goes out the window now....insulin shot anyone?
And finally.
Me: I gotta go pick up your prescriptions. Try to drink that Dr. Pepper please.
M (daughter): How much did it cost?
Me: You don't wanna know.
M (daughter): Sure I do, how much?
Me: $244 and some change.
M (daughter): Sorry about that mom.
Me: What are you sorry about? That doesn't even compare to the thousands of dollars these past 3 days are gonna cost us!
M (daughter): The food was good though.
Me: And I got you home safe and sound. I would've spent a million dollars for that.
M (daughter): Ohhhhhhhh, I think I need my blood sugar checked....Ima vomit!
I hope your Friday was as good as mine was. I got my baby girl home and that was the best part of this week. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Today's is a little late and I apologize. M came home today. I am somewhat happy and scared to have her home. I stated on my Facebook status update that I was the proud owner of a diabetic but with that comes my fear. I am responsible for her health now. Wasn't I responsible for it before? Well, yes, but now I can seriously do some damage. That scares the shit out of me. Any glitch and I am personally responsible for quite possibly damaging this little one. Oh the pressure!
She looks great! It's amazing how "well" she looks now. With the medicine, I actually could see how sick she looked before. Her little pot belly is coming back. Her cheeks are puffing out a bit. Her tiny little double chin in starting to peek out. I kind of missed her and it's nice to have her back.
Okay, lemme tell you how proud of her I am. She is so brave. While I teared up with every milestone of this disease, she just shrugged her shoulders and got over it. Her main complaint was being hungry. She had a hamburger and onion rings at almost every meal. Diabetes isn't about not eating, lemme tell ya! And thank the lord because this girl can eat! With my pride of how brave she is, I was also privileged to witness how strong she was. Here ya go people, take a glimpse and let her inspire you.
M (daughter): Can we go to the gift shop?
Me: Sure but I ain't got any money.
M (daughter): Not even for your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter???
Me: Not even for her sweetie, but I sure do love my diabetic daughter and how she's already using the system of guilt on me.
Our friend brought her over a gift tonight and the gift was earrings. They were beautiful but M doesn't have pierced ears.
Me: It's okay M, we can exchange em for maybe a necklace.
Husband: Oh, they for pierced ears?
M (daughter): Yah.
Husband: Well since you're not playing soccer anymore you can get em pierced.
M (daughter): That wasn't why I didn't have em pierced dad. I was scared of the needle. I guess that excuse goes out the window now....insulin shot anyone?
And finally.
Me: I gotta go pick up your prescriptions. Try to drink that Dr. Pepper please.
M (daughter): How much did it cost?
Me: You don't wanna know.
M (daughter): Sure I do, how much?
Me: $244 and some change.
M (daughter): Sorry about that mom.
Me: What are you sorry about? That doesn't even compare to the thousands of dollars these past 3 days are gonna cost us!
M (daughter): The food was good though.
Me: And I got you home safe and sound. I would've spent a million dollars for that.
M (daughter): Ohhhhhhhh, I think I need my blood sugar checked....Ima vomit!
I hope your Friday was as good as mine was. I got my baby girl home and that was the best part of this week. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/14/10
It was a Sad Goodbye....to Friday carpool.
I still have two more Tuesday carpools but today marked my last Friday carpool. Granted, I'm probably going to see E everyday this summer but even though M2 just lives down the street, I probably won't see her. Yes, it was a sad realization. I'm gonna miss those three little boogers to brighten up my every three Fridays.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/7/10
"I Had a Bad Dream"
Poor Katie. She sometimes has these dreams that are bad. They tear her apart and she falls to pieces. She is the biggest cuddle bug when it happens though so I don't mind being woken up at 3am with em.
I don't sleep like the dead. I'm a mom. Any sound I hear or "not-sound" I hear wakes me up and prevents me from relaxing until I find the culprit of what woke me up. When my husband used to come home late from work, he'd try so hard to creep in like a ninja but every time, I'd wake up.
Anywho!
Katie suffers from the dream that we all know about. The dream we've been having over and over. It pops up like an old friend and you've had it so many times, you know it's a dream but you still dream like it's real. My dream is always about a house I grew up in in Florida. I wasn't there for very long but that is always my setting. I'm looking for something and I have to find it before the bad man gets it. The bad man is after me too. I still have no clue what I'm looking for and what's going to happen when I find it.
Katie dreams about falling through ice. She can't get out and there's this girl in the ice that keeps her from getting out. Her daddy always saves her. I'm there too but I'm too worried about getting my hair wet to save her. When she wakes up from this dream, she's breathless and she's very mad at me. I always have to convince her that I really would save her. I wouldn't worry about my hair and I'd be the first one in the ice to get her. It takes about an hour to calm her down. When she finally begins to drift off to sleep, she says, "You really do have pretty hair."
God, you could bottle her cuteness and sell it for a million dollars I tell ya!
Lately, I've been dreaming of Facebook. It's so ridiculous. I read imaginary emails. I get imaginary friend requests. Yah, me thinks I'm spending way too much time on Facebook. There is one thing I have to admit though. When I wake up from my Facebook dream, I always feel like I really did reconnect with whoever sent me the imaginary email. I know....I need medication. Gimme a break, my life is boring and I like it that way. I have my schedule to abide by. I have my appointments that I keep. And most of all, there is always a beer waiting for me in the fridge.
It's Friday today! I'm probably working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I also think we are going to have an influx of technicians at 1:30pm. Too many technicians mean I am usually annoyed very easily. It's not that big of a place to cram "know-it-alls" in one place. But I will prevail. There are no soccer games this weekend. My husband is checking out some land for his 2010 hunting lease. I am desperately in need of a grocery trip. My oldest has been in a bad mood for about a week now. My youngest is still grounded. See?
Boring. :) Have a great day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I don't sleep like the dead. I'm a mom. Any sound I hear or "not-sound" I hear wakes me up and prevents me from relaxing until I find the culprit of what woke me up. When my husband used to come home late from work, he'd try so hard to creep in like a ninja but every time, I'd wake up.
Anywho!
Katie suffers from the dream that we all know about. The dream we've been having over and over. It pops up like an old friend and you've had it so many times, you know it's a dream but you still dream like it's real. My dream is always about a house I grew up in in Florida. I wasn't there for very long but that is always my setting. I'm looking for something and I have to find it before the bad man gets it. The bad man is after me too. I still have no clue what I'm looking for and what's going to happen when I find it.
Katie dreams about falling through ice. She can't get out and there's this girl in the ice that keeps her from getting out. Her daddy always saves her. I'm there too but I'm too worried about getting my hair wet to save her. When she wakes up from this dream, she's breathless and she's very mad at me. I always have to convince her that I really would save her. I wouldn't worry about my hair and I'd be the first one in the ice to get her. It takes about an hour to calm her down. When she finally begins to drift off to sleep, she says, "You really do have pretty hair."
God, you could bottle her cuteness and sell it for a million dollars I tell ya!
Lately, I've been dreaming of Facebook. It's so ridiculous. I read imaginary emails. I get imaginary friend requests. Yah, me thinks I'm spending way too much time on Facebook. There is one thing I have to admit though. When I wake up from my Facebook dream, I always feel like I really did reconnect with whoever sent me the imaginary email. I know....I need medication. Gimme a break, my life is boring and I like it that way. I have my schedule to abide by. I have my appointments that I keep. And most of all, there is always a beer waiting for me in the fridge.
It's Friday today! I'm probably working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I also think we are going to have an influx of technicians at 1:30pm. Too many technicians mean I am usually annoyed very easily. It's not that big of a place to cram "know-it-alls" in one place. But I will prevail. There are no soccer games this weekend. My husband is checking out some land for his 2010 hunting lease. I am desperately in need of a grocery trip. My oldest has been in a bad mood for about a week now. My youngest is still grounded. See?
Boring. :) Have a great day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/29/10
This is Why I'm Doomed.
My reincarnate. She is why I'm doomed. She's the cutest little troublemaker in the south. She annoys me to no end but makes me laugh out loud into pigsnorts.
My tween. She is also why I'm doomed. She's a melting pot of emotions that I don't understand. Seriously, stop crying already!
A conversation with my reincarnate.
K: Mommy! I read this entire chapter book!
Me: Awesome! How much points is it worth?
K: Enough to shut my teacher up about my AR goal.
Me: Hey now, don't be rude.
K: Ooops, sorry. It's worth a lot though.
Me: So you can take the test on it tomorrow then.
K: Oh yah, I'm so gonna ace that test. There's just one thing I don't get.
Me: Hmmmmm? (At this point, I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed into reading this damn book. I really don't wanna have to read a 2nd grade chapter book.)
K: Can you explain something to me?
Me: ::sigh:: Sure sweetie. What's up?
K: Who would name their kid "Cha-low?"
Me: "Cha-low?"
K: Yah, isn't that the craziest name? That was the main character's name. How embarrassing!
Me: ::confusion::realization::sigh:: Sweetie.....that's......Chloe.
K: Ooooooooooh, that makes more sense.
I'm doomed.
A conversation with my melting pot of a tween.
M: Mom? What does "Shawty" mean?
Me: Why?
M: Cause the next door neighbors are always saying it.
Me: Um.....how do I define this? I'm Jean, your WHITE mom. I haven't any idea how to explain what "shawty" means.
M: Whatever.
She walks away and I don't see her for about 15 minutes. This is the conversation I overheard between her and her dad.
M: Hey dad, I have a nickname at school now.
Him: Oh yah, what is it?
M: "Shawty!"
Him: Shorty? Who the hell calls you that?
M: Everybody does....um...cause I'm short!
Him: You're one of the tallest girls in your class. That makes no sense. And that isn't what "shawty" means.
M: What does it mean then?
At this point, I decide to call her out. Cause in high school, my nickname was "Bitchy!"
Me: You're such a liar! You just asked me like 10 minutes ago what that meant....now it's your nickname at school.
M: It is! I'm not a liar.
Me: Whatever "Shawty!" You so crazy! (I said this in my best Martin Lawrence voice.)
Dad: Oh snap.....you got schooled yo!
Me: Old school homie!
M: Stawwwwwwwwp! I hate you guys. ::tears::
Me: My work here is done. Go forth "Shawty" and be superfly with your bad self.
::SLAM::BANG::
I'm doomed but it sure is funny.
Have a great Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My tween. She is also why I'm doomed. She's a melting pot of emotions that I don't understand. Seriously, stop crying already!
A conversation with my reincarnate.
K: Mommy! I read this entire chapter book!
Me: Awesome! How much points is it worth?
K: Enough to shut my teacher up about my AR goal.
Me: Hey now, don't be rude.
K: Ooops, sorry. It's worth a lot though.
Me: So you can take the test on it tomorrow then.
K: Oh yah, I'm so gonna ace that test. There's just one thing I don't get.
Me: Hmmmmm? (At this point, I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed into reading this damn book. I really don't wanna have to read a 2nd grade chapter book.)
K: Can you explain something to me?
Me: ::sigh:: Sure sweetie. What's up?
K: Who would name their kid "Cha-low?"
Me: "Cha-low?"
K: Yah, isn't that the craziest name? That was the main character's name. How embarrassing!
Me: ::confusion::realization::sigh:: Sweetie.....that's......Chloe.
K: Ooooooooooh, that makes more sense.
I'm doomed.
A conversation with my melting pot of a tween.
M: Mom? What does "Shawty" mean?
Me: Why?
M: Cause the next door neighbors are always saying it.
Me: Um.....how do I define this? I'm Jean, your WHITE mom. I haven't any idea how to explain what "shawty" means.
M: Whatever.
She walks away and I don't see her for about 15 minutes. This is the conversation I overheard between her and her dad.
M: Hey dad, I have a nickname at school now.
Him: Oh yah, what is it?
M: "Shawty!"
Him: Shorty? Who the hell calls you that?
M: Everybody does....um...cause I'm short!
Him: You're one of the tallest girls in your class. That makes no sense. And that isn't what "shawty" means.
M: What does it mean then?
At this point, I decide to call her out. Cause in high school, my nickname was "Bitchy!"
Me: You're such a liar! You just asked me like 10 minutes ago what that meant....now it's your nickname at school.
M: It is! I'm not a liar.
Me: Whatever "Shawty!" You so crazy! (I said this in my best Martin Lawrence voice.)
Dad: Oh snap.....you got schooled yo!
Me: Old school homie!
M: Stawwwwwwwwp! I hate you guys. ::tears::
Me: My work here is done. Go forth "Shawty" and be superfly with your bad self.
::SLAM::BANG::
I'm doomed but it sure is funny.
Have a great Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/23/10
Friday Carpool
I'm going to work this morning for my day of drug pushing and smiling through gritted teeth. Can you feel my excitement? It's electric, isn't it?
So this morning was my Friday carpool so I hope you enjoy.
M2: I just want you to know that you're my favorite carpool....other than my mom.
Me: Well of course! Where else can you get a ride to school AND have a meaningless conversation?
M2: Let's tell E he has a stain on his face and see him go absolutely crazy trying to wipe it off.
Me: Oh sweetie, you know E could care less.
M2: You think so?
Me: Only one way to find out.
::E gets in the car::
M2: You got something on your forehead E.
E: It's probably maple syrup...I'll save it for later.
Me: See, told ya.
E: I'm so incredibly tired this morning. My parents are making us all do the P90X before our cruise this summer. My dad says he wants all of us to have 8-packs.
Me: 8-packs? I've got a 6-pack but it ain't from doing sit-ups!
E: Are you doing the P90X too?
Me: Ah hell no! I'm staying strong at my weight and I ain't doing nothing to screw it up. And you need to tell your dad as soon as he has an 8-pack...you'll get one too.
E: You're trying to get me grounded again, aren't you?
Me: No. I just think it's borderline abuse to make your kids do P90X. I may check the Internet and report your parents.
E: Dude! If you put a stop to the mass amounts of brown rice they're making me eat...I might love you for all eternity.
M2: You've still got something on your forehead.
Me: Yah, how do you have maple syrup on your forehead? I doubt that type of food is on the approved P90X list.
E: When my dad left for the gym and my mom went to wake up my brother and sister, I managed to eat a waffle in like 20 seconds.
M2: So you're just gonna leave that on your forehead?
Me: ::snort:: M2! Give it up!
M (daughter): What I find amazing is you totally got snagged cheating on your P90X diet.
E: Who pulled your string?
M (daughter): If the string is me finally speaking, I pulled my own string. The day you get an 8-pack will be the day I will become your slave for the day.
E: What do I get for a 6-pack?
Me: I will be your slave for the day!
E: How would I explain that to my parents?
M2: Probably the same explanation of what's on your forehead.
Me: See ya later my little cherubs!
E: ::whispering:: Do I really have something on my forehead?
Me: ::whispering:: No dummy.
Have a great Friday people!!! It's gonna be quite a busy day. I can feel it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So this morning was my Friday carpool so I hope you enjoy.
M2: I just want you to know that you're my favorite carpool....other than my mom.
Me: Well of course! Where else can you get a ride to school AND have a meaningless conversation?
M2: Let's tell E he has a stain on his face and see him go absolutely crazy trying to wipe it off.
Me: Oh sweetie, you know E could care less.
M2: You think so?
Me: Only one way to find out.
::E gets in the car::
M2: You got something on your forehead E.
E: It's probably maple syrup...I'll save it for later.
Me: See, told ya.
E: I'm so incredibly tired this morning. My parents are making us all do the P90X before our cruise this summer. My dad says he wants all of us to have 8-packs.
Me: 8-packs? I've got a 6-pack but it ain't from doing sit-ups!
E: Are you doing the P90X too?
Me: Ah hell no! I'm staying strong at my weight and I ain't doing nothing to screw it up. And you need to tell your dad as soon as he has an 8-pack...you'll get one too.
E: You're trying to get me grounded again, aren't you?
Me: No. I just think it's borderline abuse to make your kids do P90X. I may check the Internet and report your parents.
E: Dude! If you put a stop to the mass amounts of brown rice they're making me eat...I might love you for all eternity.
M2: You've still got something on your forehead.
Me: Yah, how do you have maple syrup on your forehead? I doubt that type of food is on the approved P90X list.
E: When my dad left for the gym and my mom went to wake up my brother and sister, I managed to eat a waffle in like 20 seconds.
M2: So you're just gonna leave that on your forehead?
Me: ::snort:: M2! Give it up!
M (daughter): What I find amazing is you totally got snagged cheating on your P90X diet.
E: Who pulled your string?
M (daughter): If the string is me finally speaking, I pulled my own string. The day you get an 8-pack will be the day I will become your slave for the day.
E: What do I get for a 6-pack?
Me: I will be your slave for the day!
E: How would I explain that to my parents?
M2: Probably the same explanation of what's on your forehead.
Me: See ya later my little cherubs!
E: ::whispering:: Do I really have something on my forehead?
Me: ::whispering:: No dummy.
Have a great Friday people!!! It's gonna be quite a busy day. I can feel it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/19/10
Works for Me!
Much better day yesterday. Did my day start and finish WITHOUT me making a complete idiot out of myself? Nope.
I started work at 9am. By 9:05am, I had managed to make a HUGE mistake of MASSIVE mistakes. I won't lie to you. It crossed my mind to run screaming from work, "I quit!" Did I? Nope.
You see, I discovered the best line. "I'm new." That line could possibly work for another week but yesterday, it worked out fine.
The rest of my day? It was great. There was a technician that did a great job showing me the humility of learning the rules and the flow. By god damn, he even made a few mistakes too so I felt so much better.
Today is a short day. Just a mere four hours. What can possibly go wrong today? Well, I'll tell ya. I need better shoes. My ass has been sitting on a couch for 4+ years and quite frankly, I think my ass is really missing my couch. The only time you can sit is when you're on lunch. So for six hours, I am standing up. Yah, I'm gonna need better shoes. Either that or convince my husband that I'm gonna need a hot tub/jacuzzi in the backyard.
Have y'all seen those new "Shape-up" shoes by Sketchers? I think they are quite possibly the ugliest shoes in the world. They look like prosthetics! And even more ridiculous. They're like $100! Well good god, I ain't gonna spend $100 on a pair of shoes that 1) make me look like I'm hiding a hoof or 2) will again, make me look stupid! But I need some better shoes. Badly.
Anywho!
Today is Friday. It will be the first time, in a long time, that the weekend will actually be a "weekend" to me. I miss that feeling. Friday's to me for the past 4+ years have just been another day. Today? Friday means I have the weekend to enjoy some beer and spend with my family. In that order too. I hope all of you enjoy your weekend, kick up your feet and enjoy a beer.
That's what I'm going to be doing.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I started work at 9am. By 9:05am, I had managed to make a HUGE mistake of MASSIVE mistakes. I won't lie to you. It crossed my mind to run screaming from work, "I quit!" Did I? Nope.
You see, I discovered the best line. "I'm new." That line could possibly work for another week but yesterday, it worked out fine.
The rest of my day? It was great. There was a technician that did a great job showing me the humility of learning the rules and the flow. By god damn, he even made a few mistakes too so I felt so much better.
Today is a short day. Just a mere four hours. What can possibly go wrong today? Well, I'll tell ya. I need better shoes. My ass has been sitting on a couch for 4+ years and quite frankly, I think my ass is really missing my couch. The only time you can sit is when you're on lunch. So for six hours, I am standing up. Yah, I'm gonna need better shoes. Either that or convince my husband that I'm gonna need a hot tub/jacuzzi in the backyard.
Have y'all seen those new "Shape-up" shoes by Sketchers? I think they are quite possibly the ugliest shoes in the world. They look like prosthetics! And even more ridiculous. They're like $100! Well good god, I ain't gonna spend $100 on a pair of shoes that 1) make me look like I'm hiding a hoof or 2) will again, make me look stupid! But I need some better shoes. Badly.
Anywho!
Today is Friday. It will be the first time, in a long time, that the weekend will actually be a "weekend" to me. I miss that feeling. Friday's to me for the past 4+ years have just been another day. Today? Friday means I have the weekend to enjoy some beer and spend with my family. In that order too. I hope all of you enjoy your weekend, kick up your feet and enjoy a beer.
That's what I'm going to be doing.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/12/10
Trust your gut....you're crazy!
Everybody has those gut instincts. You know the ones? Your friend says hi and you immediately know she was recently having sex. Your kid won't look you in the eye so you pretty much know he/she is probably lying to you. Your husband/wife laughs a little too hard at one of your jokes and you know he/she is in ass-kissing mode.
1) Your friend wanted you to know anyway!
2) Damn kids.
3) Hmmmm, ass-kissing mode isn't so easy.
I've been in ass-kissing mode plenty of times. I spent too much on a pair of pants. (Okay, it was a tube top) I forgot to pay a bill. I actually did drink an entire six-pack. But what in the hell is he kissing my ass for?
Yesterday started off like any other day. Kids got off to school okay. Husband got off to work okay. I proceeded to drink my weight in coffee. Typical day. My husband isn't much of a texter but from 9am he began to text me. Just little notes here and there.
1) How are you feeling? (Um, I'm okay.)
2) Kids get to school okay? (Um, don't they always?)
3) Today is dragging ass. (Sorry?)
4) I put in for Patrol in June. (It's about freaking time!)
5) It's supposed to rain. (Great, now he wants to be a weatherman.)
Now, typically, this isn't normal. I'm lucky if I get a, "Hi," or a, "On my way home," text. This is something of a strange phenomenon. And, because it started at 9am, I had all freaking day to wait to see what was going on.
This is where trusting your gut and admitting you're crazy comes to play. Oprah talks about it all the time. Your gut instincts are always right. Are they? That little twinge is your inner voice telling you to pay attention. Is it? Okay Oprah, I'll test this out. Because in all honesty, women are the smarter species here. Men are so oblivious to that fact. I can spot a scam from a mile away. I can see a guilt driven present with the color of the bow. Seriously, don't play a woman because we've seen it all before. We will smile, tilt our head and you won't see the knee coming up at lightning speed to the crotch.
Fast forward. Husband comes home. He offers to take one of the kids to their soccer practice. (Really? Well no shit! I can't be in two places at once. You better take one!) He says he'll go to the older daughter's open house with me. (Why? It's middle school. In and out. Don't bother.) Me and the oldest pick up dinner and return home with our bountiful Chinese platters and husband says, "You are probably the best wife. How'd you know I was craving Chinese food?"
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What the hell did he do???
Put kids to bed and went on the couch. Husband had remote in hand and said, "What do you want to watch?" Here's my test. "Let's watch today's General Hospital." (Wait for it!)
"Okay." ::click:: Run the General Hospital credits!
Oh good god, I think my husband is having an affair! He must be completely guilt ridden to watch a soap opera. Granted, General Hospital is probably the BEST soap opera but seriously? How bad could this hot, sweaty, adulterous sex had been for him to be this guilt ridden?
Fast forward. I'm getting into bed and just waiting for the shoe to drop, the shit to hit the fan, ANYTHING! This was it. Oprah was right. My marriage could potentially be ending tonight. At least, that's what my gut was telling me. Husband walks in, spends a little too much time plugging in his phone and taking off his watch. He's stalling. I decide to end this. "What's up? You okay?"
His response? "Um, what's your schedule next week?" (He's already planning his next romp in the hay with that whore!)
My response? "Why?"
His end-all of ass-kissing and guilt? "I ordered a bow and it's supposed to be delivered next week. I don't want anybody to steal it."
::silence::
The moral of this story? Never forget who you're married to. Your gut instincts are just little reminders of how crazy you are. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, check the bank statement for major purchases of stupidity.
If you can't find anything like that, smile, tilt your head to the left and swiftly bring your knee up into his crotch. Either way, he probably deserves it.
Happy Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
1) Your friend wanted you to know anyway!
2) Damn kids.
3) Hmmmm, ass-kissing mode isn't so easy.
I've been in ass-kissing mode plenty of times. I spent too much on a pair of pants. (Okay, it was a tube top) I forgot to pay a bill. I actually did drink an entire six-pack. But what in the hell is he kissing my ass for?
Yesterday started off like any other day. Kids got off to school okay. Husband got off to work okay. I proceeded to drink my weight in coffee. Typical day. My husband isn't much of a texter but from 9am he began to text me. Just little notes here and there.
1) How are you feeling? (Um, I'm okay.)
2) Kids get to school okay? (Um, don't they always?)
3) Today is dragging ass. (Sorry?)
4) I put in for Patrol in June. (It's about freaking time!)
5) It's supposed to rain. (Great, now he wants to be a weatherman.)
Now, typically, this isn't normal. I'm lucky if I get a, "Hi," or a, "On my way home," text. This is something of a strange phenomenon. And, because it started at 9am, I had all freaking day to wait to see what was going on.
This is where trusting your gut and admitting you're crazy comes to play. Oprah talks about it all the time. Your gut instincts are always right. Are they? That little twinge is your inner voice telling you to pay attention. Is it? Okay Oprah, I'll test this out. Because in all honesty, women are the smarter species here. Men are so oblivious to that fact. I can spot a scam from a mile away. I can see a guilt driven present with the color of the bow. Seriously, don't play a woman because we've seen it all before. We will smile, tilt our head and you won't see the knee coming up at lightning speed to the crotch.
Fast forward. Husband comes home. He offers to take one of the kids to their soccer practice. (Really? Well no shit! I can't be in two places at once. You better take one!) He says he'll go to the older daughter's open house with me. (Why? It's middle school. In and out. Don't bother.) Me and the oldest pick up dinner and return home with our bountiful Chinese platters and husband says, "You are probably the best wife. How'd you know I was craving Chinese food?"
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What the hell did he do???
Put kids to bed and went on the couch. Husband had remote in hand and said, "What do you want to watch?" Here's my test. "Let's watch today's General Hospital." (Wait for it!)
"Okay." ::click:: Run the General Hospital credits!
Oh good god, I think my husband is having an affair! He must be completely guilt ridden to watch a soap opera. Granted, General Hospital is probably the BEST soap opera but seriously? How bad could this hot, sweaty, adulterous sex had been for him to be this guilt ridden?
Fast forward. I'm getting into bed and just waiting for the shoe to drop, the shit to hit the fan, ANYTHING! This was it. Oprah was right. My marriage could potentially be ending tonight. At least, that's what my gut was telling me. Husband walks in, spends a little too much time plugging in his phone and taking off his watch. He's stalling. I decide to end this. "What's up? You okay?"
His response? "Um, what's your schedule next week?" (He's already planning his next romp in the hay with that whore!)
My response? "Why?"
His end-all of ass-kissing and guilt? "I ordered a bow and it's supposed to be delivered next week. I don't want anybody to steal it."
::silence::
The moral of this story? Never forget who you're married to. Your gut instincts are just little reminders of how crazy you are. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, check the bank statement for major purchases of stupidity.
If you can't find anything like that, smile, tilt your head to the left and swiftly bring your knee up into his crotch. Either way, he probably deserves it.
Happy Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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