I've begun to despise my kids. Don't get me wrong, I love em but good god do they know how to push my buttons.
With school starting, I've set some rules. With these rules, I stated that under no circumstances do they argue with me about them or try to get out of them.
Day 2 of set rules. 8pm, it's time to come inside and relax for the remaining hour and a half of wakefulness. Did they come in with a smile? Did they wave goodbye to their friends and run inside with a skip to their walk?
No.
They did what they always do and argued with me. I have had it with this attitude kids these days have where they don't take no for an answer. What part of me being an adult constitutes me explaining myself when I give an answer to a child? Absolutely nothing.
Child: Can I have another Coke?
Me: No.
Child: Why?
Me: Because you've already had a Coke today. Drink some water or some juice.
Child: But if I just drink water tomorrow, can I have a Coke tonight?
Now here's me. I'm not stupid. I know that tomorrow will come and somehow the child will ask for another Coke. It seems stupid and trivial but seriously? Why do I even bother to explain myself? No!!! Get your ass outta my face and drink some water!
And that's their downfall. Their momma ain't stupid. She isn't a pushover either. She'll apologize if she's wrong but she ain't gonna go back on a rule she set. And no amount of convincing is gonna....convince me. So shut up, get outta my face and please keep the muttering to a minimum.
Muttering. Now I may be losing some sight and some hearing but I can freaking hear you when you are talking shit. And I have never backed down from a muttering of smack talk that I knew it was directed at me. I went to Tracy High School dammit...the freaking palace of muttering, trash talking jack-asses. Oh yah....don't play me cause you will lose.
So we're on to day 2 of school. Yesterday was a cluster-fuck of idiots that don't get the concept of dropping their kids off at school. Drive, stop, drive again. Easy! But no, they have to try to get in the "better" lane or get their kid to the front of the door. I was 5 minutes late yesterday to work because I spent 30 minutes in the drop-off line at the middle school. Trust me, if I had 10 extra minutes....my ass was tempted to knock on a few bumpers and flip a couple dozen idiots off. But I didn't. Dammit, I didn't.
Today is a short day at work. I think it's my last short day in a long time. I plan on enjoying this day as best I can. When I walk out those Target doors at 2pm today....I will have a little wiggle to my hips and twinkle in my eye. I have no idea who I'm working with though. Yesterday I worked with Dennis Hopper and it wasn't too bad. We commiserated about the traffic in the morning....which is why I didn't get in trouble for being 5 minutes late. :) I'm actually starting to really, really like Dennis Hopper. Don't tell though. Have a great Tuesday everybody.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label mommies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommies. Show all posts
8/23/10
5/26/10
Double the worry....cue the boogyman.
So today is Wednesday...Hump Day. My favorite day of the week. Today? Yah, it ain't treating me so well today.
Here's a pretty picture of what today is starting out with. My father-in-law is preparing for surgery today and tomorrow. We are kind of worried but we're not really talking about it. Avoidance has always been our forte in the Bonifacio household.
Avoidance. It should be my middle name.
For about two months now, my oldest daughter M has grown 3 inches and shrank to an annoying 75lbs. Yah, I'd give anything for her metabolism but I'm not 12. I've attributed it to puberty and hormones but something else has been going on that I've.....um....avoided. My procrastination was to wait until school was out but she was dizzy and weak this morning so today is the day. So now we've got two crisis to deal with until all the answers are given.
And whether my knack for avoidance or procrastination denies me for the 12th year in a row the award of Mother of the Year....then so be it. I can handle any crisis you throw at me after about 5 minutes of hysterics. That's all I need is 5 minutes and then it's done and over. I'm ready to handle the crisis. You give me that 5 minutes and when it's done, I'll hold you up, hand you tissues and take charge. I haven't been given my 5 minutes today yet. I've never had 2 things to worry about. Does that mean I need 10 minutes or am I just screwed?
Bottom line? I may need a shoulder later. I may need someone to slap me. I may need to just curl up in a ball and cry until there are no more tears.
My true bottom line? I'm not going to ask for any of those things. I am the strong one here. I am the one that never loses it. I am the one person that can't do any of those things.
At least not this week. Maybe next week. Have a great Hump Day people. Mine is barely getting started and I can't wait until Thursday already.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Here's a pretty picture of what today is starting out with. My father-in-law is preparing for surgery today and tomorrow. We are kind of worried but we're not really talking about it. Avoidance has always been our forte in the Bonifacio household.
Avoidance. It should be my middle name.
For about two months now, my oldest daughter M has grown 3 inches and shrank to an annoying 75lbs. Yah, I'd give anything for her metabolism but I'm not 12. I've attributed it to puberty and hormones but something else has been going on that I've.....um....avoided. My procrastination was to wait until school was out but she was dizzy and weak this morning so today is the day. So now we've got two crisis to deal with until all the answers are given.
And whether my knack for avoidance or procrastination denies me for the 12th year in a row the award of Mother of the Year....then so be it. I can handle any crisis you throw at me after about 5 minutes of hysterics. That's all I need is 5 minutes and then it's done and over. I'm ready to handle the crisis. You give me that 5 minutes and when it's done, I'll hold you up, hand you tissues and take charge. I haven't been given my 5 minutes today yet. I've never had 2 things to worry about. Does that mean I need 10 minutes or am I just screwed?
Bottom line? I may need a shoulder later. I may need someone to slap me. I may need to just curl up in a ball and cry until there are no more tears.
My true bottom line? I'm not going to ask for any of those things. I am the strong one here. I am the one that never loses it. I am the one person that can't do any of those things.
At least not this week. Maybe next week. Have a great Hump Day people. Mine is barely getting started and I can't wait until Thursday already.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/7/10
If Karma is a Bitch....Her Name Has to Be Jeanie.
Okay, I think I'm contradicting myself here. I've said that I don't believe in luck. I don't believe that life is out to get me. I do however believe that Karma is alive and well....living in TexASS.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
2/9/10
Mean mommy or excused exhaustion?
Okay, fine, I'll admit it. M was really sick. Most people know how hard that is. Not that M is sick but admitting I was wrong. My youngest K came home sick yesterday after throwing up in class. I was all prepared to hold her hair back with a bucket in hand but anymore throwing up never showed up. Basically she got to come home and play with her new toys from her birthday. And because she threw up at school, she gets today off on a no throw-up rule technicality.
It might be surprising to most that I'm a major rule follower. My dad would probably make the sound effect of a ::snort:: with that admission. But seriously, I follow all the rules. Fever free for 24 hours and the icky stuff like vomit and diarhea need to be 24 hour free too. I don't believe in sharing. Now that is the truth! I don't want people to give me their cooties and I won't give people my cooties. It's too bad more people don't feel that way as usually if I have cooties, it's because some snotty kid who wasn't mine gave em to me.
So, the question today of mean mommy or excused exhaustion needs to be answered. I'm not ashamed if the answer is mean mommy. Trust me, I've been called worse. But today I'm going to write an excused exhaustion note to M. What? She got one for PE!
Dear M****,
Please excuse your mommy for being somewhat unsympathetic yesterday. (I added somewhat but we all know there was no somewhat about it.) You see, she hasn't been feeling well for over a week. In fact, she probably has what you have right now. She hasn't gotten out of making you dinner, doing your laundry, taking you to school, picking you up from school or helping you with your homework. She's had to listen to you and your sister whine and argue over probably some of the stupidest things while her head was pounding. Remember yesterday when you said your head was about to explode? Well multiply that by a thousand when you add the incessant needs of a 12 year old and an 8 year old.
Thank You,
Mommy
P.S. And in case you were wondering, I still feel like poo but I'm still gonna have to suck it up and take you to the doctor and play nursemaid to you today and possibly tomorrow. Wait....what was I apologizing for?
And in closing, I have a very helpful husband at times. Yes, he works and when he comes home, he'd take over if I asked. I don't ask though because mommies never get excused absences. Mommies aren't allowed to take a sick day. Mommies aren't allowed to do anything but be mommies. So if I seem unsympathetic and quite frankly, a mean mommy.....my advice? SUCK IT UP! I do that every freaking day cause that's what mommies do!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
It might be surprising to most that I'm a major rule follower. My dad would probably make the sound effect of a ::snort:: with that admission. But seriously, I follow all the rules. Fever free for 24 hours and the icky stuff like vomit and diarhea need to be 24 hour free too. I don't believe in sharing. Now that is the truth! I don't want people to give me their cooties and I won't give people my cooties. It's too bad more people don't feel that way as usually if I have cooties, it's because some snotty kid who wasn't mine gave em to me.
So, the question today of mean mommy or excused exhaustion needs to be answered. I'm not ashamed if the answer is mean mommy. Trust me, I've been called worse. But today I'm going to write an excused exhaustion note to M. What? She got one for PE!
Dear M****,
Please excuse your mommy for being somewhat unsympathetic yesterday. (I added somewhat but we all know there was no somewhat about it.) You see, she hasn't been feeling well for over a week. In fact, she probably has what you have right now. She hasn't gotten out of making you dinner, doing your laundry, taking you to school, picking you up from school or helping you with your homework. She's had to listen to you and your sister whine and argue over probably some of the stupidest things while her head was pounding. Remember yesterday when you said your head was about to explode? Well multiply that by a thousand when you add the incessant needs of a 12 year old and an 8 year old.
Thank You,
Mommy
P.S. And in case you were wondering, I still feel like poo but I'm still gonna have to suck it up and take you to the doctor and play nursemaid to you today and possibly tomorrow. Wait....what was I apologizing for?
And in closing, I have a very helpful husband at times. Yes, he works and when he comes home, he'd take over if I asked. I don't ask though because mommies never get excused absences. Mommies aren't allowed to take a sick day. Mommies aren't allowed to do anything but be mommies. So if I seem unsympathetic and quite frankly, a mean mommy.....my advice? SUCK IT UP! I do that every freaking day cause that's what mommies do!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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