So today is Wednesday...Hump Day. My favorite day of the week. Today? Yah, it ain't treating me so well today.
Here's a pretty picture of what today is starting out with. My father-in-law is preparing for surgery today and tomorrow. We are kind of worried but we're not really talking about it. Avoidance has always been our forte in the Bonifacio household.
Avoidance. It should be my middle name.
For about two months now, my oldest daughter M has grown 3 inches and shrank to an annoying 75lbs. Yah, I'd give anything for her metabolism but I'm not 12. I've attributed it to puberty and hormones but something else has been going on that I've.....um....avoided. My procrastination was to wait until school was out but she was dizzy and weak this morning so today is the day. So now we've got two crisis to deal with until all the answers are given.
And whether my knack for avoidance or procrastination denies me for the 12th year in a row the award of Mother of the Year....then so be it. I can handle any crisis you throw at me after about 5 minutes of hysterics. That's all I need is 5 minutes and then it's done and over. I'm ready to handle the crisis. You give me that 5 minutes and when it's done, I'll hold you up, hand you tissues and take charge. I haven't been given my 5 minutes today yet. I've never had 2 things to worry about. Does that mean I need 10 minutes or am I just screwed?
Bottom line? I may need a shoulder later. I may need someone to slap me. I may need to just curl up in a ball and cry until there are no more tears.
My true bottom line? I'm not going to ask for any of those things. I am the strong one here. I am the one that never loses it. I am the one person that can't do any of those things.
At least not this week. Maybe next week. Have a great Hump Day people. Mine is barely getting started and I can't wait until Thursday already.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label gut instincts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gut instincts. Show all posts
5/20/10
Work Ethics
Here's mine. Do you do the same thing?
1) Unless you're dead, you don't call in sick.
Now this goes with some rules. I don't think people that call in sick are losers. I just think if you overdo the calling in sick, it's kind of annoying. Oh and if it's because of a migraine....yah, I've never had one so I just think it a headache.
2) Know your schedule.
This means know everybodys schedule. Nine time out of ten, you're gonna know who these people are and how unavailable they are. If you're covering for someone, don't expect any paybacks. You are getting paid to cover for this person. You aren't doing it for free. There is no payback. You'll get your payback in the form of a check.
3) Pay attention.
This is kind of like knowing the schedule. Listen to the quips here and there. Nine times out of ten, they're talking shit behind your back. Now here's where it pays off. Don't react immediately. Save it for a rainy day and then unleash the fury. They'll never know what hit em.
4) Wear your name tag just above your boob.
Well, cause customers love it. Yah, I went there.
5) Don't be afraid to admit to your boss that you like the job.
It's not going to hurt you but right after saying it, make sure you add that you're not fitting in with the sorority of the other techs. Oh yes people, I said it. The other techs are getting on my freaking nerves sometimes but refer to rule number 3. Hold it because there is a fury coming and it will be big.
6) Finally, when walking into work, put mass amounts of chapstick on.
It works when you want to bite somebodys head off. With chapstick on, you're more prone to smoothing your lips together while exacting your revenge later.
These are so far my work ethics. I reserve the right to add on. Because trust me, these people are like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I can't quite figure out whether to stake em with my words and stab em with my wrath.
Have a great Thursday! Good news! Tomorrow is Friday and I get to work with pop quiz guy. Woot! :/
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
1) Unless you're dead, you don't call in sick.
Now this goes with some rules. I don't think people that call in sick are losers. I just think if you overdo the calling in sick, it's kind of annoying. Oh and if it's because of a migraine....yah, I've never had one so I just think it a headache.
2) Know your schedule.
This means know everybodys schedule. Nine time out of ten, you're gonna know who these people are and how unavailable they are. If you're covering for someone, don't expect any paybacks. You are getting paid to cover for this person. You aren't doing it for free. There is no payback. You'll get your payback in the form of a check.
3) Pay attention.
This is kind of like knowing the schedule. Listen to the quips here and there. Nine times out of ten, they're talking shit behind your back. Now here's where it pays off. Don't react immediately. Save it for a rainy day and then unleash the fury. They'll never know what hit em.
4) Wear your name tag just above your boob.
Well, cause customers love it. Yah, I went there.
5) Don't be afraid to admit to your boss that you like the job.
It's not going to hurt you but right after saying it, make sure you add that you're not fitting in with the sorority of the other techs. Oh yes people, I said it. The other techs are getting on my freaking nerves sometimes but refer to rule number 3. Hold it because there is a fury coming and it will be big.
6) Finally, when walking into work, put mass amounts of chapstick on.
It works when you want to bite somebodys head off. With chapstick on, you're more prone to smoothing your lips together while exacting your revenge later.
These are so far my work ethics. I reserve the right to add on. Because trust me, these people are like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I can't quite figure out whether to stake em with my words and stab em with my wrath.
Have a great Thursday! Good news! Tomorrow is Friday and I get to work with pop quiz guy. Woot! :/
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/12/10
Trust your gut....you're crazy!
Everybody has those gut instincts. You know the ones? Your friend says hi and you immediately know she was recently having sex. Your kid won't look you in the eye so you pretty much know he/she is probably lying to you. Your husband/wife laughs a little too hard at one of your jokes and you know he/she is in ass-kissing mode.
1) Your friend wanted you to know anyway!
2) Damn kids.
3) Hmmmm, ass-kissing mode isn't so easy.
I've been in ass-kissing mode plenty of times. I spent too much on a pair of pants. (Okay, it was a tube top) I forgot to pay a bill. I actually did drink an entire six-pack. But what in the hell is he kissing my ass for?
Yesterday started off like any other day. Kids got off to school okay. Husband got off to work okay. I proceeded to drink my weight in coffee. Typical day. My husband isn't much of a texter but from 9am he began to text me. Just little notes here and there.
1) How are you feeling? (Um, I'm okay.)
2) Kids get to school okay? (Um, don't they always?)
3) Today is dragging ass. (Sorry?)
4) I put in for Patrol in June. (It's about freaking time!)
5) It's supposed to rain. (Great, now he wants to be a weatherman.)
Now, typically, this isn't normal. I'm lucky if I get a, "Hi," or a, "On my way home," text. This is something of a strange phenomenon. And, because it started at 9am, I had all freaking day to wait to see what was going on.
This is where trusting your gut and admitting you're crazy comes to play. Oprah talks about it all the time. Your gut instincts are always right. Are they? That little twinge is your inner voice telling you to pay attention. Is it? Okay Oprah, I'll test this out. Because in all honesty, women are the smarter species here. Men are so oblivious to that fact. I can spot a scam from a mile away. I can see a guilt driven present with the color of the bow. Seriously, don't play a woman because we've seen it all before. We will smile, tilt our head and you won't see the knee coming up at lightning speed to the crotch.
Fast forward. Husband comes home. He offers to take one of the kids to their soccer practice. (Really? Well no shit! I can't be in two places at once. You better take one!) He says he'll go to the older daughter's open house with me. (Why? It's middle school. In and out. Don't bother.) Me and the oldest pick up dinner and return home with our bountiful Chinese platters and husband says, "You are probably the best wife. How'd you know I was craving Chinese food?"
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What the hell did he do???
Put kids to bed and went on the couch. Husband had remote in hand and said, "What do you want to watch?" Here's my test. "Let's watch today's General Hospital." (Wait for it!)
"Okay." ::click:: Run the General Hospital credits!
Oh good god, I think my husband is having an affair! He must be completely guilt ridden to watch a soap opera. Granted, General Hospital is probably the BEST soap opera but seriously? How bad could this hot, sweaty, adulterous sex had been for him to be this guilt ridden?
Fast forward. I'm getting into bed and just waiting for the shoe to drop, the shit to hit the fan, ANYTHING! This was it. Oprah was right. My marriage could potentially be ending tonight. At least, that's what my gut was telling me. Husband walks in, spends a little too much time plugging in his phone and taking off his watch. He's stalling. I decide to end this. "What's up? You okay?"
His response? "Um, what's your schedule next week?" (He's already planning his next romp in the hay with that whore!)
My response? "Why?"
His end-all of ass-kissing and guilt? "I ordered a bow and it's supposed to be delivered next week. I don't want anybody to steal it."
::silence::
The moral of this story? Never forget who you're married to. Your gut instincts are just little reminders of how crazy you are. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, check the bank statement for major purchases of stupidity.
If you can't find anything like that, smile, tilt your head to the left and swiftly bring your knee up into his crotch. Either way, he probably deserves it.
Happy Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
1) Your friend wanted you to know anyway!
2) Damn kids.
3) Hmmmm, ass-kissing mode isn't so easy.
I've been in ass-kissing mode plenty of times. I spent too much on a pair of pants. (Okay, it was a tube top) I forgot to pay a bill. I actually did drink an entire six-pack. But what in the hell is he kissing my ass for?
Yesterday started off like any other day. Kids got off to school okay. Husband got off to work okay. I proceeded to drink my weight in coffee. Typical day. My husband isn't much of a texter but from 9am he began to text me. Just little notes here and there.
1) How are you feeling? (Um, I'm okay.)
2) Kids get to school okay? (Um, don't they always?)
3) Today is dragging ass. (Sorry?)
4) I put in for Patrol in June. (It's about freaking time!)
5) It's supposed to rain. (Great, now he wants to be a weatherman.)
Now, typically, this isn't normal. I'm lucky if I get a, "Hi," or a, "On my way home," text. This is something of a strange phenomenon. And, because it started at 9am, I had all freaking day to wait to see what was going on.
This is where trusting your gut and admitting you're crazy comes to play. Oprah talks about it all the time. Your gut instincts are always right. Are they? That little twinge is your inner voice telling you to pay attention. Is it? Okay Oprah, I'll test this out. Because in all honesty, women are the smarter species here. Men are so oblivious to that fact. I can spot a scam from a mile away. I can see a guilt driven present with the color of the bow. Seriously, don't play a woman because we've seen it all before. We will smile, tilt our head and you won't see the knee coming up at lightning speed to the crotch.
Fast forward. Husband comes home. He offers to take one of the kids to their soccer practice. (Really? Well no shit! I can't be in two places at once. You better take one!) He says he'll go to the older daughter's open house with me. (Why? It's middle school. In and out. Don't bother.) Me and the oldest pick up dinner and return home with our bountiful Chinese platters and husband says, "You are probably the best wife. How'd you know I was craving Chinese food?"
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What the hell did he do???
Put kids to bed and went on the couch. Husband had remote in hand and said, "What do you want to watch?" Here's my test. "Let's watch today's General Hospital." (Wait for it!)
"Okay." ::click:: Run the General Hospital credits!
Oh good god, I think my husband is having an affair! He must be completely guilt ridden to watch a soap opera. Granted, General Hospital is probably the BEST soap opera but seriously? How bad could this hot, sweaty, adulterous sex had been for him to be this guilt ridden?
Fast forward. I'm getting into bed and just waiting for the shoe to drop, the shit to hit the fan, ANYTHING! This was it. Oprah was right. My marriage could potentially be ending tonight. At least, that's what my gut was telling me. Husband walks in, spends a little too much time plugging in his phone and taking off his watch. He's stalling. I decide to end this. "What's up? You okay?"
His response? "Um, what's your schedule next week?" (He's already planning his next romp in the hay with that whore!)
My response? "Why?"
His end-all of ass-kissing and guilt? "I ordered a bow and it's supposed to be delivered next week. I don't want anybody to steal it."
::silence::
The moral of this story? Never forget who you're married to. Your gut instincts are just little reminders of how crazy you are. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, check the bank statement for major purchases of stupidity.
If you can't find anything like that, smile, tilt your head to the left and swiftly bring your knee up into his crotch. Either way, he probably deserves it.
Happy Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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