I'm green and I don't like it.

I've never been one to be jealous. I think it's a useless emotion. I guess it all started in high school but jealousy has always had a hard time biting me. I had a friend that was prettier than me but I wasn't jealous. Why? Well, I may not have been the "prettiest" one in the group but I did bring something to the table that outshined everybody. My sister was smarter than me. I "might" have been jealous with that one but I sure didn't do anything to remedy it. I just continued to be me and came out alright.

I don't look at other people's lives and turn green with envy wishing I had what they had. Trust me, they probably worked really hard to get it and I don't really like working that hard. I've always been the type of girl that rolls with the punches and just believes that something good will come my way. It usually does too.

I was never jealous of my husband and attention some skank may be giving him. She's a skank. Why would I be jealous of a skank? When good things happen to my friends, I'm always the first one thinking that they deserve it.

See? I don't get jealous. It's useless with me.

Today is Friday though. I have to go to work. My husband took the day off because our children have off from school.

I. Am. Jealous.

Now don't get me wrong. It'll probably be on the Hunting Channel all day long. He's probably going to obliterate the house and throw away things he shouldn't throw away. He might do the yard or he might wash the car. I'm not jealous of THAT. I'm merely jealous that I had to hear the alarm this morning and get off my lazy ass and get ready for work.

I'm still somewhat recovering from the stomach alien that nested in my belly on Wednesday that I spewed out in the toilet. My morning consisted of showering and putting my curly hair (because I'm too lazy to straighten it) in a clip. I look like a librarian with my frizzy curls peeking out from the clip. Oh yah, I'm a dreamgirl right now. I would've much rather punched that alarm clock with my fist, roll over and zonk out again. Didn't happen though.

I get to work with Pop Quiz Asshole again today. Joy! :)

This weekend consists of near to nothing. M has a physical for sports next year in 7th grade. It's at 9:30am. Gahhhhhhd! Hello? It's Saturday! My husband is driving to his new deer lease while I'm doing the physical stuff to sign the paperwork and install some cameras.

I'm soooooooooooo glad I have to take M to her physical. Cause I AIN'T involving myself in this deer land lease. Have a fantastic Friday people. It'll be over soon....right?


If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Monday sniffles = excused from PE?

When I was a kid, I hated school. The only good thing about school was seeing my friends. If I didn't want to be there, I'd usually put a heating pad on my head or ditch. A note to the principal excusing me from school was usually written by me. My mother once had a meeting with the principal that produced probably over thirty forged excuse notes. The broken heart and weeks of solitude were torture. My mom had the broken heart and I was grounded for the rest of my life.

My kids today are too young to ditch and trust me, my oldest is way too good of a kid to ditch anyway. My youngest? Yeah, going to have to watch her. This morning though, my oldest, M, is suffering with yet another sinus headache. I'm not the typical parent that feels sympathy for illness other than her own. The pathetic looks on their faces and exaggerated moans and groans do nothing for me. If there is a fever, I'll cuddle and take care of you like you're on your deathbed. No fever? Forget it! No fever for M today so she's going to school. About two seconds before her carpool pulls up, she asks for me to write a note excusing her from PE.

Is she kidding?

Nope, she's not. I don't think I ever asked for a note excusing me from PE unless it was that time I sprained my ankle stepping off a one inch curb. One inch people and I was making fun of someone that tripped off that one inch curb two minutes earlier. Karma, people....is a bitch!

Back to the dilemma, how do you write a note excusing your daughter from PE? I never saw one before and I really didn't think she should be excused anyway. It's just a freaking sinus headache! Suck it up! The look on M's face was annoying as hell. It was the, on the verge of tears and I hate you, look. Gotta love THAT look! So I grab a solid white piece of paper, frantically look for a pen and begin scribbling a note for the girl suffering with a "brain aneurysm."

Dear.....PE teacher? (How sad is it that I don't know her gym teacher's name?)

Please excuse M**** from PE today. (I should've stopped there as I am her mother and that should be enough but I didn't.) She is suffering with a sinus headache and is convinced she is dying. I have supplied her broken body with enough medicine to knock out an elephant. However, if the side effects of being a twelve year old who doesn't feel good set in....just put her in the corner with a cup of water.

Thank you,

J*** Bonifacio

P.S. My number is (***) ***-****. Please call me if she doesn't survive the day and her head explodes like she's expecting.

Here's hoping M feels better by tomorrow....and of course I don't get a phone call from the PE teacher.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.