Still got nothing....

...so I'll just continue with the story.

Y'all know about my moment but I have somewhat of a gigantic circle of people that experienced their own moments the day M was diagnosed with diabetes. I had warned a bunch of people that morning what I feared. There was a lot of, "Don't think that!" and, "I think it's just something simple." I continued to keep the positive thoughts but I am a chronic Web MD viewer and Web MD was screaming at me what the signs were.

After the doctor said those words, "It's diabetes." he left the room to start the admission process into Children's Dallas. I grabbed my phone and sent out a mass text to my circle of people. I often cringe at the feeling of being behind that text.

"It's diabetes. We're being admitted into Children's Legacy and being care flighted to Dallas after they stabilize her."

How horrible to be the recipient of a text like that. It must've felt like a sucker punch to the gut. I could've done it better but at that moment, I couldn't speak. No words could come out of my mouth.

My poor mother was at lunch and was at Home Depot. She had almost made it out the door but alas the text reached her in the garden department. My beautiful mother just sat down on a bag of fertilizer and cried. Every scenario that I had experienced, she was also experiencing. How do I fix this? What do we do? Another experience was, why is everybody just walking past her? Seriously, my mother has gray hair and nobody stopped to see if she was okay. You gotta love people!

My husband never got the text. This is a joke that will go down in the books. M's dad was at Sports Academy picking up empty drums and loading it onto a truck. He left his phone in the other car and was in reality doing something he shouldn't have been doing on his lunch. I kept waiting for him to storm in and demand control of the situation so I could finally break down. He wasn't coming.

As M and I walked through the hospital, into elevators, I kept checking my phone. I kept pressing the call button to call my husband but I never followed through. I looked at M and said, "I can't talk to him." M just calmly said, "Just page him mom, he'll come if you page him." I think I knew that but I'd already sent the text of doom....I didn't want to follow it up with a page of doom. I did though but I just typed three words.

"I need you."

We were in the car on our way to Children's Legacy when he finally called. I was driving like a lost, old lady looking for a garage sale. When my husband asked, "What's up?" I knew he had no clue what was coming. My heart was already broken but to actually say the words would do nothing for it. I couldn't get anything out except, "I need....I need....I need." That was all I could say. By the third plea, my husband finally got it. "Just say it and send me a text of where you are."

That was my husband's moment. He had 3 drums in the bed of his truck. He was over 50 miles away from us. His wife was on the phone with him barely holding on to reality. My Mr. Fix-it couldn't fix it. In the 30 minutes it took him to finally get to the hospital, he'd seen the text of doom, replayed in his head the pleading words, "I need....I need....I need," and still wasn't where he should've been.

He often apologizes for not being there when he should've. I've never felt like I was abandoned or alone that day. The amount of people that reached out to us and took control of an otherwise uncontrollable situation was huge. My mother finally got off that bag of fertilizer and picked my K up from school for me. My friend G immediately started getting my prescriptions covered by my insurance. My social network of friends continued to lend me their hands or their ears so I didn't feel so alone. My husband finally arrived at the hospital and allowed me a shoulder to lean on. My daughter M remained brave throughout the day when I needed bravery to prevail.

It was one thing that created a couple dozen moments.

My moral of this story? When I see an old lady sitting on a bag of fertilizer crying, I'm for damn sure gonna stop and ask if she's okay! :) Happy Tuesday everybody! I am quite sure today is gonna fly by seeing as it's already noon and I've only accomplished this today.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Here's a quandry!

I've totally ran out of things to say! I know! SHOCKER! I think I'm going to just tell a story none of you knew. Excuse me if you don't care but until I get my muse back, this is the best I can do.

The day M was diagnosed with diabetes, I think everybody knew that I had already had a feeling what was coming. Call it instinct or just signs screaming at me for months that I chose to ignore. When I took her to the doctor, the long car ride prompted an apology to her for my procrastination. I had to say that I was sorry. I didn't tell her what I thought it was. I didn't want her to worry if I was wrong. I did however assure her that I was sorry and I wasn't mad at her. Cause you see, I wasn't quite ready for the answer and earlier that morning I felt like she was forcing me to get it.

When we got to the doctor and I gave the doctor her symptoms, he and I both knew what was coming. M left the room to go to the bathroom and I remained in the room. I didn't cry, I just sat there like a statue waiting for my life to crack. When M came back into the room, I realized that I had to pee too.

Now I went into the same bathroom M was just in and it had that little steel door you put your sample in. I heard the steel door open. I stood there in the bathroom, eavesdropping in a way. I heard the sounds on the other side of that square steel door. I held my breath waiting for anything. I heard the paper ripping. I heard the cap being twisted. My hearing was working very well that morning. I heard the nurse on the other side of the steel door say, "Oh no. Get the doctor."

My heart broke that moment. I left the bathroom and went back in the room with the biggest fake smile on my face. I stood there by the door just waiting. I had my hand on M's leg when the nurse came in and tested her blood sugar with a monitor. I didn't look at it. I just stood there with my eyes closed, holding onto her knee. I already knew. Instincts be gone, I'd eavesdropped on the worst news ever. I had a secret that was about to be spilled any second.

This was a moment where I didn't know if I should be the one that told my daughter of her fate or wait for the professional to do it. It's like those moments in your life that you'll never forget. Did I want M to remember this as coming from me or with me just standing beside her when the doctor told her? I didn't want to be a part of this moment. I couldn't be the one. I wasn't.

When the doctor came in and looked at me, I just closed my eyes again when he started to speak. "It's diabetes."

That was my moment. It was basically an hour of moments that I wish never happened. I pick through that day and try to figure out how I could've done those moments better or differently. If there was any moment I wouldn't change, it would be the one where I gave M a hug and said, "I'm sorry."

Happy Monday??? :) Yah, it's a happy Monday. I hope you all have a fantastic day.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I think it's gonna rain.

You ever notice that when it rains it freaking pours when you least need it?? God help me, I'm in the middle of a shit storm and there ain't nothing I can do about it. It has nothing to do with anything but life and money. So the best way I can get through this is to try to find the funny.

Here it goes!

Ethan is doing great. His surgery went very well and unfortunately for him...and I, I know a bit too much about his "no-no square." And in honor of Ethan and trying to lighten his unrunnable spirits, when he came to the door this morning, I answered it in a towel. God, I'm going to hell but for some reason, the peephole is blocked by a piece of paper. What did the paper say?

"Give God a chance."

Thanks, maybe another day.

Yesterday was K's last day of futsol. Her daddy went and I prayed she'd have a good game. She did. Oh god, I love to watch her play. Being me however, I just wanna watch her play. The parent's of the other girls on the team, please don't talk to me. I'm cheering for my soccer stud. So this guy, we'll call him "Buff." I have no idea what his name is but "Buff" seems to fit the persona. Not cause he's actually buff but because he wears t-shirts the size my 8 year old wears. Seriously? Your shirt being tight doesn't make you look buff. It makes you look like you washed your shirt in hot water too many times.

Buff: Oh man, K was on it tonight! (He talks REALLY REALLY loud too)

Me: It was a good game.

Buff: Good game? Oh honey, that's the understatement of the world right there! That was ridiculous!!

Me: Well, I'm just glad this is over. I'm ready for outdoor soccer already.

Buff: Oh I've heard about you alright.

Me: Oh yeah? I'm famous huh? I am a bit of a screamer but it's really just cheering.

Buff: No, I'm talking about the tube tops. Can't wait.

Me: Oh, the tube tops? Yah, I don't like tan lines. What's your excuse for that outfit?

Buff: Huh?

Husband: We'll see ya at practice tomorrow! (He's literally pulling me with all his strength at this point)

Me: Um....arm socket....need use of my arm.

Husband: I should kick his ass for being a douchebag but damn Jean, you sure know how to castrate a man!

Me: His shirt's too tight. His brain doesn't have enough oxygen to understand what I said.

Today at soccer practice? My husband decided to go and leave me at home.

Text from husband: That guy is wearing an over sized shirt today. It looks like it would fit a grizzly bear.

Me: He prolly just bought it. Hasn't had time to wash it 3,000 times in hot water yet.

Text from husband: No, I think your verbal castration clicked. He refuses to look at me.

Yah, that's the best I got for funny. I hope you all had a great Tuesday! Mine is about to be called. I'm so ready for this shitstorm of bills to STOP already! Momma needs a vacation but can't afford it. See y'all tomorrow!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Don't worry....I'm certified.

What does that mean?

Actually, it doesn't mean shit. Certification to most just means that you studied really hard for a test, learned that stuff to pass the test, passed the test and then promptly forgot everything you learned. That's pretty much what I did. I couldn't do half the stuff I learned today. I don't really want to either.

So this weekend was pretty uneventful. It was heaven! My redneck Filipino husband built himself a deer blind. Basically it's a wooden box he'll stand in and kill deer when they come close. Well, it has a couple windows. He actually did a pretty good job at it which leads me to ask again, who is this man? Everyday he surprises me with another talent. Now don't get me wrong, I took shop in school. Hey, there were some cute guys in the class and the girl to boy ratio was always a cool 1:5. But ask me to make a wooden picture frame and I'll just go get some sticks and a hot glue gun. I don't remember shit about that.

I'm sure I could remember things I've learned in the past but the information just clicking on the fly, ain't really my forte. Is that just a Jeanie thing?

People are constantly amazing me with the amount of information they retain. The English language and how to write it is one of them. I graduated in 1992 and rocked English class. It was one of my favorite subjects. Dur. How could it not be? But ask me what a preposition is and I'm gonna embarrass myself. About the only thing I ever retained in English class....is how to read. I can spot mistakes in books but can't spot my own.

One of my least favorite things about English class was trying to find the symbolism in a story. The word "symbolism" is kind of like the word "priortizer" to me. I hate it. Why does a book have to have symbolism? Why can't I just read a book and understand the concept instead of finding the hidden meaning behind it? A book for me is an escape. A trip to the unknown away from the reality of my life. Word in some places is agents are looking for books with symbolism. Seriously? Are we writing classics now that some poor 12th grader is gonna roll their eyes at in 15 years? I don't really want to write a classic.

I have a "friend" who shall remain nameless, that writes. And when I say writes, I mean he really writes. His stories whether short or long are the epitome of symbolism. As an adult that chooses to read what she wants to read, I have to admit that I wish I could write like that. And even though his stories or books have no vampires or werewolves in them, he can write a mean story. Which brings me back to amazement of the skills people retain.

I love when people surprise me and make me want to be a better person. Whether it be a better writer or a better....carpenter, I'm paying attention.

Have a great Monday. My eyes are finally back to what they're supposed to look like. I have to take these giant capsules of Omega-3 and all I keep tasting is fish. It's fantastic. (sarcasm)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I am never alone.

Seriously, nobody is. If you feel alone, you're just choosing to be alone. I always have somebody to reach out to or keep me company. It can be anybody but I've got my favorites. I think I'm a favorite on some other people's list too.

What about the oblivious nature of people that want to be in your life that you don't see? Nnnnnnnnnnnnope, not me. I see everybody. I pay attention. I think more people should pay attention. There would be a lot less people in the world with frowns on their faces.

Is this just me? Am I the only person that finds the silver lining in a shitty situation? Let me clarify, life hands out shitty situations all the time, people contribute to the shitty situation. What do you do to get out of the shitty situation? Depends, right?

You can either bathe in the shit or grab some soap.

I'd like to think the better choice is to grab the soap. DON'T BEND OVER TO GET IT THOUGH! Cause life will screw you that way too.

I love Fridays. It's an end. It was that light at the end of the tunnel. It's the day that means my family isn't passing each other and grunting hellos along the way. We can take a moment to say hi and actually have a conversation. I think that's the most important thing. Actually asking the question, "How was your week?" Giving a shit, so to speak. Cause the week is gone. It's ovah! It's all behind you now. Find your light. Find your moment. Just take one second to look around and see who's there. It might surprise you.

There might be someone standing there with his/her hand out for you to hold if you need it. And it's like the forgotten or missed high-five. It hurts if you're the one standing there with your hand out and nobody takes it. And next time? They ain't gonna be there anymore.

I feel like Jack Handy today. :) Have a fabulous weekend. It'll be over before we know it.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


So this is it...Part 2.

Why Part 2? Well shit, cause it's my birthday and I can do whatever the hell I want. Just kidding...not whatever...but some things I wouldn't normally do.

Okay, turning the age wasn't that bad. I have been busy since 5am. I took my parents to the airport. (Still a little pissed that they decided to vacation on such a special day) I went to my ophthalmologist appointment at 10am. Here's that.

Doctor: Have you been stressed out?

Me: You got a couple hours?

Doctor: Well, I've never seen a case this bad but cases this bad is usually brought on by stress.

Me: So on top of being stressed, I'm now reduced to looking like Rocky after fighting Apollo Creed? Purrrrrrrrrrrrfect.

Doctor: I'm gonna drain these. It's gonna hurt.

Me: Just do it Doc....I don't care.

::10 minutes go by::

Me: Well, I don't know ya, but I seriously wanna kick your ass now.

Doctor: Wouldn't be the first time.

Me: I'm guessing it won't be the last either.

So, seems to me that I need to take better care of myself and pay attention to the signs my body parts are trying to tell me. But seriously, this was ridiculous. 2 weeks of misery, brought on by stress....which in fact just stressed me out more. I'm not a genius...well I am a literary genius but any other genius, not so much...but how does this make sense in the health department.

So I returned home with old lady pills and eye drops. I hung around for awhile and then decided to finish my chores. I slipped on a miniskirt and tank top and what did I do next???

Got my inspection sticker! First time for me. I usually make the husband do the manly duty but dammit, I got nice, long, YOUNG legs to show off.

The guy tells me to wait in the waiting room, so I mosey on around the corner and find the co-workers "waiting room."

Me: Is this seriously your waiting room?

Guy: No, it's ours. Yours is through that back door.

Me: Yah, I'm not going in a back door. Can I sit out here with you guys?

Guy: Sure you can but it's hot as hell out here.

Me: Ah, that's okay. I barely have any clothes on anyway.

Guy: This reminds me of a movie I once watched.

Me: Lemme guess. Titillating Auto-Techs?

Other Guy: How'd you guess he was thinkin' porn?

Me: Probably cause I was thinkin' porn.

Guy: You aren't trying to butter us up to pass your inspection, are you?

Me: Would that work?

Other Guy: No comment.

Guy: Well hell yah it would work!

Me: I don't have to butter you up...I'm just making conversation.

Inspector: You passed.

Other Guy: So close.

Me: Yet so far away. Thanks boys.

I love birthdays. When I got home and told my husband that I got the inspection sticker, what do you think he said?

"You went in THAT???"

::giggle:: Why yes I did. Happy Birthday to me, and you, and you, and you, and you!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


So this is it.

It's my last day being a 35 year old. I am even closer to being 40 starting tomorrow. Ugh, I know, I know. Age is nothing but a number but this really sucks. There is no loophole I can find that still rounds down to 30. I am officially going to have to round up.

It ponders a question I've often asked myself.

Is this it?

Why yes it is Jeanie, this is it. Sure I can find endeavors to conquer but do I want to? It's like that bucket list people on their death beds make. What would my bucket list have on it?

1) Still wanna be published.
2) Still wanna go to Ireland.
3) Still wanna visit England.

Pretty short bucket list. I know I can add on but I've always thought bucket lists were depressing because every year, nothing gets scratched off. If I keep adding to it, I'll be reminded that once again, I've managed to miss another year of fulfilling a dream. That's not fun. And just adding realistic dreams isn't fun either. That kind of like cheating.

I think I'm just going to stick with the original plan. Keep good friends near. Smile everyday. Laugh until it hurts at least once a week. I've been able to stick to that for awhile. So goodbye 35. I'm gonna miss that loophole I found for you of NOT rounding up. Hiya 36. You ain't got shit on my, "I'm 28!"

Have a fantastic Hump Day! The girls have dentist appointments today and pay day is tomorrow.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


You'd think I'd be more prepared.

Okay, so at 4am this morning, I wake up. I sleep with a sound machine. All of us do. It sometimes sounds like a tornado or hurricane in this house to a stranger with all the wind, ocean and rain coming from our rooms. I never had to sleep to noise until I had babies. Damn kids, they ruin everything.

So I wake up because my sound machine turned off. Too quiet to sleep. Yes, I know, I'm weird. And as I punched the sound machine in vain trying to turn it back on, I realize, it's awfully dark in the house.

Like some stranger crept behind me and said, "Boo!" I jumped out of bed and thought, "Holy shit, no way....they turned my power off!!!"

My second thought?

It was nice knowing everybody....my husband is going to freaking kill me!!!

I was in a panic. I was frantically dialing the power company. "All lines are busy, please try your call again." I kept going outside to see if anybody else in the neighborhood had lights. (I was totally aware that most people were probably sleeping through this) When I finally got through to the power company, I plugged my account number in and held my breath.

"We are aware of a mass outage in your area." (Click)

Even then, I couldn't help thinking that the mass outage could've been because other people got their power shut off. Gimme a break, it was early...I was still preparing for death by husband.

An hour and a half later to be exact, the power turned back on and all was right in my world. Except I really still need to pay this electric bill. Did I?

No. I haven't quite gotten that gift yet where I can actually shit out money. Come on pay day, momma needs to stay alive another month!

Have a great Tuesday! I ain't got shit to do and I plan on doing that perfectly.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Yah, I was lazy.

I missed Thursday and Friday blog. Sorry about that. Hey, I told you about my eye. Well it ended up turning into eye(s) on Thursday. So I finally went to the doctor and found out it was Pink Eye. WTF?! I'm thirty....five. Not five. But god dang, that shit hurts like a hot poker in the eye. I know the feeling as I'm a smoker and I've had a cherry blow into my eye before. And today? 5 days later....still have eye(s) that need to either get better or spontaneously combust. They're really starting to piss me off, yanno?


I'm gonna call this confession day. I figure I should confess something to make up for my lack of enthusiasm last week. Tit for tat.

I'm dyslexic. No, not the one that can't read words. The one that keeps me from organizing and sequencing. I didn't have to go to special classes or get extra time on tests. I was just constantly and still am constantly made fun of.

You see, I don't know my lefts and rights. I can't alphabetize to save my life. Numbers are okay but letters and directions aren't my strong suit. Don't ever ask me for directions. I will get you to Tupelo instead of Tuscon. When telling me to turn left, could you just point in the direction you want me to go in? Oh and when pointing, don't do it in a manner that sound exasperated. It's truly not my fault. I learned my ABC's in Kindergarten. But I have to actually "sing" the alphabet song to figure out if "L" comes before or after "K."

It's actually quite funny because I don't actually "sing" the alphabet but if you watch me, you can see it in my eyes. Oh yah, I'm singing it alright. And when I get to the letter, an excited gleam comes over my face when I've found the correct letter.

I went my entire life thinking I had been dropped on my head as a baby. I knew it wasn't the pot. I was like this way before I partaked in that. It wasn't the drinking either. This was and has always been a problem of mine. You know when you put your index finger and thumb out to make and "L" shape? Yah, well with me, they BOTH look like "L's" and shit.

I've been told that it's an adorable attribute of mine. The mental deformity I have is adorable? I've gone through life with many idiosyncrasies that people have found adorable. This particular one will never be adorable to me. It's humiliating. There is one silver lining here though. My kids don't have it. They actually tell me which way is left. They've trained themselves to point AND say the direction. Taking care of their "special-needs" mother. That's love baby. Love.

So as I start this humid and hot as Hades Monday, remember the "special" people. They don't all drool. They don't all clap for no reason. Some of them appear normal. Some of them are adorable. Some of them need you to point and allow them some time to sing the alphabet. Happy Monday!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Hello Hump Day....whatcha got for me?


An infection in my left eye that makes me resemble a UFC fighter that requires medical attention. Oh yahhhhhhhhhh, livin' the dream today!

Some pet peeves today to pass the time.

1) My daughter has completely lost the ability to pour herself some cereal.

I actually told her today to make her breakfast! ((GASP))

2) The money in our bank account is dwindling and I haven't even paid the bills yet.

Yet, my husband spent $100 on soccer stuff for our youngest last night with hardly a bat of an eye.

3) Showering requires at least an hour of my time.

No, not for any other reason except I just can't walk out, dress and leave.

4) My writing muse has completely disappeared.

Nope, can't even think of what to write when I have all the time on my hands. It sucks.

5) My youngest has a soccer game tonight and tomorrow night and I have to do the single parent routine for both of them.

Not angry about the single parent routine, I'm just more sad that her dad can't watch her play.

6) Today's blog is gonna suck cause I can barely see the computer screen.

The use of only one eye is very distracting. Who knew?

Have a great Hump Day people! The week is halfway over and my birthday is coming up. I'll be 28 for 7th time in history. What? I can sooooooooooooo pull that off. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I actually have stuff to do today. SHOCKER!

I hate that! Your days off are inundated with crap. I guess I'm lucky that I have em so I can do em without being a toolbox that needs to take a day off but still, I just kinda wanted to lay on the couch all day. Not gonna happen though.

Ugh, my husband and I watched like 2 episodes of Deadliest Catch last night. We've watched this show forever. It's almost an obsession with us. Those guys that are human yet so trashy are like family to us. Well, for awhile now we've been wondering if they were going to have when Captain Phil dies and last night....they started the making of it. I was crying like a baby. I know he's gonna die. But the show is coming off as he might survive the massive stroke. He isn't.

I'm such a softy, I know. SHOCKER! But I'm getting to an age now where death is imminent for some people. A few of my friends can relate. Losing your father or mother is probably my biggest fear. Watching it happen is even harder. My husband's father used to live with us in San Diego. He had a massive stroke too. We were the one's that caught it. We were the one's that flew him to the hospital. We were the one's that pondered the what-ifs of what to do next. It isn't something anybody should have to go through.

I can honestly say, my husband leaned on me and I was there to stay strong so he wouldn't fall. Going back home in June was heart breaking if not relieving. His dad is still alive, thank god. But time is ebbing away and I don't know how my husband will survive it when it happens.

So at the end of the show, watching Captain Phil's sons lean on each other, my husband looked at me and said, "Don't ever leave me."

Why did he say that?

Because he knows it's coming.

What did I say?

I just smiled through my pathetic tears of watching strangers hug it out like I know them like family and said, "I never have."

Annnnnnnnd, then I said, "You're like a fungus that'll never go away."

Humor....it's my crutch during moments of sincerity.

Have a great Tuesday people!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


It could've been worse...but it never is.

I love my weekends now. I've mentioned before that weekends mean more when you actually have a jobbity job and you crave a couple days off. Granted, I only work two days a week and there is always a couple days off in between my work days. Yes, hate me, love me....it's probably easier just to love me. :)

So on Saturday, I actually went out with most of my "new" coworkers. This could've been bad. I'm happy to report, I don't think I made too much of an ass out of myself. I mean, I drank and wasn't afraid to. I opened my mouth and said some things. All and all, I left feeling like I probably didn't leave a bad taste in their mouth. At least I don't think I did.

The reality is, I still live by the rule that you either love me or hate me. I can't mold myself into a person that I'm not. I can be obnoxious when I want to be. I can be friendly when I want to be. It is too tiring to try not being who I am. She always comes out anyway and wouldn't they rather NOT be surprised when I say something inappropriate then actually be shocked? I'd like to think so.

Yesterday was the 4th of July. We didn't do a damn thing all day except clean the house. My daughter whined, "Why do we have to clean on a holiday?" Oh good god, unless you wanna fight for our country, you better clean your room, yanno? We did however go out to watch fireworks. This town loves fireworks. They're illegal. So whenever there is a show, everybody comes out to watch. It was a freaking madhouse. Luckily my parents live close to where the show was so we just parked and sat in a field. When the show started, they were right in front of us. Ha ha!

However, I'm now suffering with multiple ant bites on my feet and my shoes aren't fitting right today. Oh today is going to suck. I can already picture the comfort level is at a freaking 1 1/2 and I'm not gonna be able to smile about it.

Have a fantastic Monday. Most of you azzholes are off so lemme leave you with this. I am not, so therefore, I hate you.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Patience is a virtue?

I despise that saying. I have about as much patience as a newborn by a nipple. Waiting for things frustrate me beyond anyone's imagination. I. Hate. Waiting.

So today I worked. It was pretty slow in the morning but damn it picked up after noon. And then? It happened. After working in the pharmacy for 3 months, I finally got my first customer that I probably could've killed if I had a gun. This bitch needed a bullet to her head. She walked up bitchy and nothing good could come of it.

My dilemma? Oh jeez, I suck at customer service when the customer is an asshole or a bitch. It takes every ounce of patience NOT to strangle them or unleash my own fury. And believe me, I could've made this woman cry with my venom. I wanted to as well.

Did I? Dammit! No.

I'm kind of pissed at myself for NOT doing what comes so naturally for me. But alas, another day, I am employed.

So, what do you do when someone pisses you off and you can't do a damn thing about it? Are you like me and think of things you should've said like 5 hours later? Do you imagine meeting them in an alley and kicking their fat asses until they're pulp?


Damn. I need medication.

Have a great weekend! Be safe! Wear flame retardant clothing and bring your condoms!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Sometimes you just gotta say it.

What is your catch phrase? Everybody has one and they don't even realize it. It's the phrase that gets you through the day. It gets your through a moment. Shit, it gets you through life. I never realized mine until recently. It's foul but it encompasses me like a tight tube top on a hot summer day.

Fuck it.

It seems like whenever I'm feeling scared or blue, it works. Fuck it. Whether it be that leap into the unknown or the skip into something sinful. Fuck it.

It's like you're standing on a bridge attached to a bungee cord contemplating your life. Do you jump? Do you stand there like an idiot? Nope, fuck it. You only live once and there is never a do over in life. Just jump already.

If there is one thing I've learned and held on to so tightly is, my actions are mine. Sure they might effect the people around me but they're still mine. The way my actions effect other people is their own choice. I have absolutely no rights to how they feel. All I can worry about is my own. Some might say that's selfish because I'm a parent and my actions reflect off my kids but seriously, it's still my decision to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my decisions don't kill my kids, I feel pretty comfortable with my view on life.

Before I was married with kids, my catch phrase was so much fun. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't do death defying acts or anything but I did swallow any fear that might've held me back. Being married with kids, my catch phrase is still somewhat fun. It's just not that life altering. It could just be the simple act of telling a perfect stranger off for staring at my tits....or just staring at me in general. I feel that it is my duty to leave a lasting impression on anybody that injects themselves into my life.

I've always been brutally honest in life. Don't get me wrong, I lie to save my ass sometimes but I've always been a horrible liar. Maybe that's why I embrace honesty. Cause I suck at being devious. And when I say honesty, I'm just meaning saying what's on my mind at the moment it enters my mind. I don't chew on anything. I spit it out. If you're bugging the shit out of me, you're gonna know it. If you look like shit in an outfit, I'm probably going to say it. If you've hurt me, believe me, you're gonna get a hot cup of reality from me.

Fuck it.

What's your catch phrase for life? Did you know you had one? Have a great Thursday. Weekend is almost here!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.