Am I Immune to the Ultimate Love Story?

This morning, my husband and I were watching the morning news. Well, I was, my husband was putting on his shoes. It was a slow news morning so they had a fluff piece on about some newlyweds. They were going through old vacation photo albums of the wife's. In a picture, they showed the girl at Disneyland standing next to one of the seven dwarfs....or do we call them little people too? Anywho, the husband saw his father standing behind the posing dwarf. In front of the father was a stroller which held the husband! They'd never met. The wife was from Florida and the husband was from Canada.

It was fate. They were 5 years old in the picture. The father looked as if he was looking into the camera. The newscasters were "awwing and ooohing" during the entire story. My response?

"Stalker!"

Now my husband, isn't a romantic. He knows that kind of shit is wasted on me. My response prompted a sigh and an eye roll. "You don't think that is the coolest love story ever?"

I don't. It's peculiar but I didn't turn all warm and gushy. I mean, come on! We all know this is a small world and stranger things have happened. Of course, I don't really believe in fate. If fate were real, I'd be with somebody else right now. But why is it that this love story didn't prompt gushy feelings of true love?

I have a couple friends that have great loves. Their love makes me want to vomit. Not because I hate them. Because love makes me wanna vomit. I loathe the term "making love." In fact, that whole combination throws me into a scowl and an eye roll. Seriously, let's just call it what it is. Nowhere in that whole act am I "making love." Cause if that's "love" and I'm "making" it, love is truly a dirty thing. :)

Is there something wrong with that? Am I the only one that thinks that? Please tell me I'm not. I need some company here.

Me and the girls are off to Six Flags today. Yes, I'm crazy. But we had planned this before M was diagnosed with diabetes. I have made a promise that I won't hold us back from fun. Even though, this day would've sucked before the diagnosis, it's going to be a little harder. My backpack weighs over 15 pounds. When I walk a mile with this backpack on, I have a feeling I'll finally remember why I have a husband. Ah, true love....carry my backpack now. ;) Happy Hump Day!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

If Life were a Lollypop.

So I bought this giant bag of Dum-Dums yesterday and pretty much devoured the entire bag in less than 3 hours. And hush, I shared....a couple. My tastes for certain flavors are strange. I can switch from butterscotch to fruit flavor with a flick of the tongue. I don't really care because I love my lollipops.

That is the epitome of me though. I'm not really choosy. I'm happy most of the time with whatever you throw at me and if it's a lollipop, I'm a very happy girl. When bad things happen, yah, it sucks but if there isn't anything you can do about it, what's the point of dwelling of it?

So last night after leaving the soccer game of Cops vs. Didn't know they were playing cops, my husband's take-home car went kaput. We were in Richardson on a side road. What does this mean? Well according to my husband, it's the end of the world. He's gotta use his own car and his own gas money. Yah, it sucks. That's going to add on at least $125 a week in gas money for us. Oh and his truck needs new tires before he gets his expired inspection sticker updated. We're looking at $500 in new tires. Yah, like I admitted, it sucks.

But! Here is where it's good to be with me. Now my husband bitched and moaned for like 2 hours. I probably had a sour face for about 10 minutes. Was there anything we could do differently? Nope. Were we on the freeway when the car went kaput? Nope. Do we have a car that he can use? Yep. And finally, get over it dude, it's freaking done. I mean jeez, would you rather be pissed off or just deal with it? Now my husband would probably say he would want to bitch about it but you can't be that way around me. One, because I'm not gonna let you. Two, because I'm gonna tell you to shut up because I'm tired of hearing you bitch and moan. Seriously, get over it!

So as me and the girls got a ride home in a cop car by one of our favorite officers, I managed to finish off my bag of Dum-Dums. The last flavor? Mystery. To this day, I have never hated the mystery flavor. It's never been a coconut or a chocolate one. (Which I think are the worst ideas for lollipop flavors) And that was my epiphany. Life is like a mystery lollipop. You never know what you're gonna get. But when you stick that candy delight in your mouth, it's done. There's no turning back. You're going to either be surprised or satisfied but anyway you look at it, there will always be another lollipop.

So suck it up. Life sucks sometimes but there is always going to be a little mystery and adventure to keep your taste buds excited.

Tuesday Carpool.

E: I'm finally getting my own room.

Me: How's that gonna happen?

E: My dad is giving me his office.

Me: Oh, bachelor pad.

E: Hold it, they're painting it baby blue.

Me: Oh, um.....if it's your room, why are they painting it baby blue?

E: That was the deal.

Me: You got screwed.

E: Hi, have we met...I always get screwed.

M (daughter): One word. Posters.

E: M? You really want me to get my butt kicked, don't you?

Me: Boys can't do posters anymore? No Farrah Fawcett or Cindy Crawford?

E: Who?

God, I need a lollypop. I'm getting OLD! Have a nice Tuesday!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

It was a Sad Goodbye....to Friday carpool.

I still have two more Tuesday carpools but today marked my last Friday carpool. Granted, I'm probably going to see E everyday this summer but even though M2 just lives down the street, I probably won't see her. Yes, it was a sad realization. I'm gonna miss those three little boogers to brighten up my every three Fridays.

Me: Hey yo M2!

M2: Hello!

Me: Any plans this weekend?

M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.

Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?

M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.

Me: There's the spirit.

::Ethan gets in the car::

Me: Hey yo E!

E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.

M2: What are you doing this weekend?

E: Nothing exciting.

M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?

E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.

Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.

E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.

Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.

Boogers: What?

Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.

M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.

E: And you dressed for the occasion too.

Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.

E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.

M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.

M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.

E: I love summertime.

Me: Me too.

M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.

Me: What time is swim team?

E: 5:30am.

Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!

Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.

Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Here Are Some More Clues

Okay, so yesterday I gave some clues as to why I am the way I am. There was some confusion at the end if I wasn't done. Note, I am never done. Hasn't the fact that I haven't ran out of things to say on this here blog proved I am never done?

So, continuing.

My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.

Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!

Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.

Father: You don't think he agrees?

Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.

Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.

Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?

Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.

My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.

Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.

Me: What? When?

Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.

Me: Um....cancel that.

Mother: M said the same thing.

Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?

Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?

Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?

Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.

Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.

Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.

{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)

My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.

My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.

I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.

So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.


If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

I'm allergic to Texas.

I've been waiting for four months for the weather to finally cooperate and allow my tube tops out of the drawer. With my good must give me some bad though. Like the clockwork of the Texas bugs come the Spring allergies. It seems my entire family has them. Nobody is worse than the other. We're all miserable. I like to think that me in a tube top takes away from the atrocious red nose, itchy eyes and exploding sneezes. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

Were my allergies as bad in California? I don't think they were. At least I don't remember suffering like I do in Texas. I remember taking some Claritin but it wasn't like if I missed a dose like if I ever do in Texas I ended up wanting to cut my head off.

I've lived in Texas for over nine years and there is really no possibility of me leaving. This is my home now. I'm actually beginning to love Texas in a way. (Shhhh. Don't tell California please.) Here are some reasons that I love Texas. But with love must come hate so I'll include those too.

1 love) It snows here in Texas. It could snow like a foot and in less than two days, it'll be gone and you'd never know it snowed.

1 hate) The sun is a tricky little bastard. Because it's so flat, a sunny day can mean nothing with the wind. I've been known to freeze my ass off on a soccer field wearing a tube top and shivering with the winds.

2 love) The seasons are beautiful like they're supposed to be.

2 hate) The months in Spring have there own bugs. My least favorite are the May Flies which look like GIANT mosquitoes and the June bugs which are like GIANT brown flying beetles. The May Flies are just annoying but the June bugs attack you! I'm convinced they're retarded because they'll land on anything or dive bomb you. And when they do land on skin....they burrow into your skin. I hate those fvckers! I like to crush em and leave their carcasses in a pile for the birds in the morning. It's my gift to Spring! :)

3 love) Texas is known and loved for it's shopping and food.

3 hate) All true Texans know how to do is shop and eat. There are certain towns that think they're so much better than other towns. They're snooty Texans and sometimes I have to pinch myself from throttling them and screaming, "I'm from California dammit! You ain't got nothing on me!"

4 love) The houses are freaking awesome. Our house was $130,000 and would probably be about $350,000 in California.

4 hate) The prospect of selling our house is moot because they keep building more houses here. It's never ending with the building of houses here. Not that I wanna move but an investment of a "starter home" to my husband has gone down the toilet and become our "forever home" here in McKinney, Texas. (This would be a husband hate.)

5 love) My friends are from all walks of life. I have older friends and younger friends and I wouldn't trade them for a million dollars. I mean seriously, where can you hang out with a true Mississippian at a bar and the next day eat some BBQ with a true Texan? Nowhere I tell ya!

5 hate) I haven't yet developed a love for cowboys. You know the ones? The cowboy hats, the boots. Nope, I still think that looks ridiculous. Wranglers which in California would put you in a group you could never get out of is perfectly fine here. As a Cali-girl, I still can't see a pair of Wranglers and think, "What a nerd!"

6 love) The Texas twang. Oh yah people, I've got it! It's not slap your face twang but it comes out. I say y'all and the Spanish language, whenever it's attempted with my tongue is a sort of Spanglish twang. It's adorable. Oh and good god, you get me to spend more than four hours with my Mississippian friend? Oh I do Mississippi good too.

6 hate) My husband is constantly making fun of me when my Texas twang shows. I've discovered it's because he can't do it. Anytime he attempts to say y'all, it comes out, "yah-allllll!" And if you haven't figured my husband out by now, when he can't do something, he makes fun of the people that can.

7 love) And finally, Texas just feels like home to me. It's far away from anybody that knows or remembers me. I in a sense, recreated myself here. I'm still the same girl I've always been but here in Texas, I don't have old skeletons pointing their fingers at me.

7 hate) I'm not from here. I sometimes miss my old skeletons. I miss the people that remember me. I miss the places that I knew secrets about. I went "home" in December and for the first time in a long time, it was good to be "home." Trips "home" are scarce because the economy sucks but "home" isn't Texas at times when I need to embrace the piece of myself that isn't in Texas.

So there you have it. Texas and Jeanie. We are like a married couple. We have a love/hate relationship. I would never trade it but I wouldn't mind a trial separation from time to time.



If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.