Did y'all know that we have a tail bone? Which means somewhere along the line, we had a freaking tail? That is amazing to me but only in the sense that we still have a tailbone of useless bones. Well, I broke mine after giving birth to M. She was a tiny little thing so the fact that I still broke it is peculiar. Well, I broke it again after K. Again, she was another tiny little baby so jeez god, gimme a freaking break here!
You can't fix a broken tailbone. Well, they say they can but that involves...um...er....repositioning it? Cue the scary music because repositioning it involves someone, hopefully a medical professional sticking his finger where the sun should NEVER shine and doing it from there. I have not had that procedure done. Trust me, this is a pain in the ass, no pun intended, but I'm not doing THAT!
So yesterday, me and the girls went to Six Flags. It was their first time and it was perfect. The lines were practically nothing. The weather was bearable with the constant cloud cover and occasional rain. We went on every ride that K was tall enough for. Only 3 in the park where she wasn't. So we'd been there for over 8 hours. I was so ready to get the hell out of there. I'd never done an amusement park without the help of my husband. I think I did a pretty damn good job! So the deal was, one more ride and they better pick a good one. Luckily they did pick one of my favorites. No wait, it was a quick decision on who was going to be where. Originally I had sat in the front, M in the middle and K in the back. This time it was M in the front, K in the middle and me in the back. Here it is!
Me: Hold on K!
K: You hold on mom, the back bounces around A LOT!
Me: Huh? {{ZOOOOOOOM}}
First turn and bounce? Yeah, it lifted me off the seat and slammed me back down on the corner of the chair....right, directly on my tailbone.
Me: Son of a Bitch!!!
How many more times did we do that? Freaking 10 more turns and slams. I had done it again. I knew it. It took my breath away. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. My mouth desperately trying to find more swear words. I'm proud to say, I found a whole lot more and when we reached the end and stopped to get out, I found my last one.
Me: Mvther Fvcker!
Oh my kids loved that one. The smiles and laughs coming from them did NOTHING for the pain in my ass though. I had managed to spend the entire day at Six Flags with no injury and the last ride....freaking INJURY! The limp back to the car was pathetic. The mini whines and whimpers incited more giggles from the girls.
Cell phone conversation.
M: Hey dad, guess what? Mom broke her butt again.
Add cell phone laughter and the day was complete. Happy Thursday people! It's almost Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label luck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label luck. Show all posts
6/10/10
5/18/10
If Life were a Lollypop.
So I bought this giant bag of Dum-Dums yesterday and pretty much devoured the entire bag in less than 3 hours. And hush, I shared....a couple. My tastes for certain flavors are strange. I can switch from butterscotch to fruit flavor with a flick of the tongue. I don't really care because I love my lollipops.
That is the epitome of me though. I'm not really choosy. I'm happy most of the time with whatever you throw at me and if it's a lollipop, I'm a very happy girl. When bad things happen, yah, it sucks but if there isn't anything you can do about it, what's the point of dwelling of it?
So last night after leaving the soccer game of Cops vs. Didn't know they were playing cops, my husband's take-home car went kaput. We were in Richardson on a side road. What does this mean? Well according to my husband, it's the end of the world. He's gotta use his own car and his own gas money. Yah, it sucks. That's going to add on at least $125 a week in gas money for us. Oh and his truck needs new tires before he gets his expired inspection sticker updated. We're looking at $500 in new tires. Yah, like I admitted, it sucks.
But! Here is where it's good to be with me. Now my husband bitched and moaned for like 2 hours. I probably had a sour face for about 10 minutes. Was there anything we could do differently? Nope. Were we on the freeway when the car went kaput? Nope. Do we have a car that he can use? Yep. And finally, get over it dude, it's freaking done. I mean jeez, would you rather be pissed off or just deal with it? Now my husband would probably say he would want to bitch about it but you can't be that way around me. One, because I'm not gonna let you. Two, because I'm gonna tell you to shut up because I'm tired of hearing you bitch and moan. Seriously, get over it!
So as me and the girls got a ride home in a cop car by one of our favorite officers, I managed to finish off my bag of Dum-Dums. The last flavor? Mystery. To this day, I have never hated the mystery flavor. It's never been a coconut or a chocolate one. (Which I think are the worst ideas for lollipop flavors) And that was my epiphany. Life is like a mystery lollipop. You never know what you're gonna get. But when you stick that candy delight in your mouth, it's done. There's no turning back. You're going to either be surprised or satisfied but anyway you look at it, there will always be another lollipop.
So suck it up. Life sucks sometimes but there is always going to be a little mystery and adventure to keep your taste buds excited.
Tuesday Carpool.
E: I'm finally getting my own room.
Me: How's that gonna happen?
E: My dad is giving me his office.
Me: Oh, bachelor pad.
E: Hold it, they're painting it baby blue.
Me: Oh, um.....if it's your room, why are they painting it baby blue?
E: That was the deal.
Me: You got screwed.
E: Hi, have we met...I always get screwed.
M (daughter): One word. Posters.
E: M? You really want me to get my butt kicked, don't you?
Me: Boys can't do posters anymore? No Farrah Fawcett or Cindy Crawford?
E: Who?
God, I need a lollypop. I'm getting OLD! Have a nice Tuesday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
That is the epitome of me though. I'm not really choosy. I'm happy most of the time with whatever you throw at me and if it's a lollipop, I'm a very happy girl. When bad things happen, yah, it sucks but if there isn't anything you can do about it, what's the point of dwelling of it?
So last night after leaving the soccer game of Cops vs. Didn't know they were playing cops, my husband's take-home car went kaput. We were in Richardson on a side road. What does this mean? Well according to my husband, it's the end of the world. He's gotta use his own car and his own gas money. Yah, it sucks. That's going to add on at least $125 a week in gas money for us. Oh and his truck needs new tires before he gets his expired inspection sticker updated. We're looking at $500 in new tires. Yah, like I admitted, it sucks.
But! Here is where it's good to be with me. Now my husband bitched and moaned for like 2 hours. I probably had a sour face for about 10 minutes. Was there anything we could do differently? Nope. Were we on the freeway when the car went kaput? Nope. Do we have a car that he can use? Yep. And finally, get over it dude, it's freaking done. I mean jeez, would you rather be pissed off or just deal with it? Now my husband would probably say he would want to bitch about it but you can't be that way around me. One, because I'm not gonna let you. Two, because I'm gonna tell you to shut up because I'm tired of hearing you bitch and moan. Seriously, get over it!
So as me and the girls got a ride home in a cop car by one of our favorite officers, I managed to finish off my bag of Dum-Dums. The last flavor? Mystery. To this day, I have never hated the mystery flavor. It's never been a coconut or a chocolate one. (Which I think are the worst ideas for lollipop flavors) And that was my epiphany. Life is like a mystery lollipop. You never know what you're gonna get. But when you stick that candy delight in your mouth, it's done. There's no turning back. You're going to either be surprised or satisfied but anyway you look at it, there will always be another lollipop.
So suck it up. Life sucks sometimes but there is always going to be a little mystery and adventure to keep your taste buds excited.
Tuesday Carpool.
E: I'm finally getting my own room.
Me: How's that gonna happen?
E: My dad is giving me his office.
Me: Oh, bachelor pad.
E: Hold it, they're painting it baby blue.
Me: Oh, um.....if it's your room, why are they painting it baby blue?
E: That was the deal.
Me: You got screwed.
E: Hi, have we met...I always get screwed.
M (daughter): One word. Posters.
E: M? You really want me to get my butt kicked, don't you?
Me: Boys can't do posters anymore? No Farrah Fawcett or Cindy Crawford?
E: Who?
God, I need a lollypop. I'm getting OLD! Have a nice Tuesday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/16/10
My Weekend of Nothingness and Everything.
This is gonna be a short one because I can't imagine it being very long. This weekend was probably one of the greatest weekends in awhile. No, it wasn't because my husband was working the entire weekend and I saw him for like 3 total hours. Kinda missed him actually. Missed him enough to visit him a few times while he worked overtime at the Wildflower festival. Saw him in the shorts they issue police officers for hot weather. Highlight of that hour I tell ya. :)
Anyway, I went to Borders on Saturday to get the autograph of my favorite author, Charlaine Harris. She writes vampire books. Now all of you know, I write. I don't write about vampires. I couldn't if I tried. It's more of a brain vacation when I read my vampire books. I don't want to write about something that I couldn't do justice. I just want to read a good fluff that makes me smile.
If I could have one wish it would be to be that author that everybody woke up early to see. I want people to hang on my every word. I want people to ask me questions about how I do what I do. I've never been one of those people that follow stars around like puppy dogs. I dabble in Twitter and follow agents but I don't kiss their ass like some of the other people on Twitter do. I just don't want to be that person. I've actually never been that person. The old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets oiled...or lubricated." I am not, nor will I ever be a squeaky wheel. If I am ever going to be a published author, it will be because I did it the hard way. The way most published authors did it.
Is that naive?
Probably. But that's just me. I won't apologize because I don't follow the ass-kissing line or do things the easy way. So did I say to Charlaine Harris that I was an unpublished author and really wanted to be her one day?
Nope. I said thank you and walked my weary way with my signed books. Because I will be her one day even if I'm old and senile. It will happen and it will happen because I did it the hard way.
Have a fantastic Monday....it'll be over soon. Or at least it's started so now all it needs to do is end. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Anyway, I went to Borders on Saturday to get the autograph of my favorite author, Charlaine Harris. She writes vampire books. Now all of you know, I write. I don't write about vampires. I couldn't if I tried. It's more of a brain vacation when I read my vampire books. I don't want to write about something that I couldn't do justice. I just want to read a good fluff that makes me smile.
If I could have one wish it would be to be that author that everybody woke up early to see. I want people to hang on my every word. I want people to ask me questions about how I do what I do. I've never been one of those people that follow stars around like puppy dogs. I dabble in Twitter and follow agents but I don't kiss their ass like some of the other people on Twitter do. I just don't want to be that person. I've actually never been that person. The old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets oiled...or lubricated." I am not, nor will I ever be a squeaky wheel. If I am ever going to be a published author, it will be because I did it the hard way. The way most published authors did it.
Is that naive?
Probably. But that's just me. I won't apologize because I don't follow the ass-kissing line or do things the easy way. So did I say to Charlaine Harris that I was an unpublished author and really wanted to be her one day?
Nope. I said thank you and walked my weary way with my signed books. Because I will be her one day even if I'm old and senile. It will happen and it will happen because I did it the hard way.
Have a fantastic Monday....it'll be over soon. Or at least it's started so now all it needs to do is end. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/7/10
If Karma is a Bitch....Her Name Has to Be Jeanie.
Okay, I think I'm contradicting myself here. I've said that I don't believe in luck. I don't believe that life is out to get me. I do however believe that Karma is alive and well....living in TexASS.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/26/10
It's a Battery Life
{{dirty thought}}
Now that I got that outta my system, I'll explain. It might be a surprising fact that I'm a very positive person in this relationship. I always think the best and think that positive energy makes everything turn out okay. And no, I'm not the type of person that thinks I'm unlucky when it doesn't. I don't think the world is out to get me. I don't think that at all.
I know, I've mentioned karma but I truly believe in karma. Karma isn't out to get me though. It's just there to bang me over the head with reality sometimes.
When my husband and I first started going out, we were always the unlucky couple. Our proms were inundated with flat tires, limo hit and runs, missed dances by like 2 minutes and reservations not in the system when we arrived at the restaurant. Long trips either had an overheated radiator 3 hours into the trip or a speeding ticket 5 minutes into the trip. Now you would think these occurrences would lead me into a negative way of thinking. Not so! I just think life thought we needed some excitement. Thanks life, 'preciate it!
20 years into our relationship, it hasn't changed much. I am the positive side of this battery and my husband is the negative. He is the one that believes that life is out to get us. Any kink in his chain, he falls to pieces and goes on a tangent on how life sucks. If I get a kink in my chain, I usually take a breath and patiently unkink the chain.
How does this type of relationship work? Well shit! I haven't a freaking clue. It drives me bonkers that this logical man believes that luck is not on our side. It drives me crazy that this man actually believes luck is the down cursor of all our "misfortunes."
Luck has nothing to do with it. Luck is just what you decide to get you down....or up for that matter. I believe and been proved correct most of the time that if you've been wronged, you can usually find a loophole or some fine print to get out of it. Yesterday, for a split second, I saw a glimpse of this positive energy attack my husband. He was attempting to read that fine print or find that elusive loophole. I've never laughed so hard in awhile.
Husband: I just broke another tooth.
Me: Again!?
Husband: Damn, freaking Doritos.
Me: You're blaming the Doritos and not wondering why you've once again broke another tooth?
Husband: I think it's a crown.
Me: Oh well that's good. You'll just need $500 for a new crown and not $1000 for a root canal.
Husband: Do you remember who did this crown?
Me: I really don't pay that much attention to your dental hygiene. That's your own thing.
Husband: I don't think they're supposed to break like this. I think I may get something out of this.
Me: You think a crown has a lifetime warranty?
Husband: Well, that or some kind of guarantee!
Me: Sweetie? It's a crown. I don't think crowns have a warranty more than a week after they install it. It ain't a Blu-Ray player.
Husband: Well, that's bullshit!
Me: No, that's just life. Quit eating so god damn much and breaking your teeth on stooopid things.
Husband: So this is my fault?
Me: Um....no honey, you're right. I blame the Doritos and the faulty crown.
And there you have it. He tried and he failed to find the brighter side. Did he hold on to this new way of thinking that life is NOT out to get him?
Nope! Two hours later, after putting in our new Blu-ray of Avatar.
Husband: It's not working!!!!
Me: Calm down.
Husband: It's been loading for like 2 minutes.
Me: Well the pack came with a DVD too so just put that one in.
Husband: This is bullshit! We need a new Blu-Ray player...shit, we might as well get a new TV too. This place is going to shit! When it rains, it's a fucking shit-storm on the Bonifacio's.
Me: Yah, poor you. Want a Dorito?
Happy Monday people! It's gonna be a fantastic, busy day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Now that I got that outta my system, I'll explain. It might be a surprising fact that I'm a very positive person in this relationship. I always think the best and think that positive energy makes everything turn out okay. And no, I'm not the type of person that thinks I'm unlucky when it doesn't. I don't think the world is out to get me. I don't think that at all.
I know, I've mentioned karma but I truly believe in karma. Karma isn't out to get me though. It's just there to bang me over the head with reality sometimes.
When my husband and I first started going out, we were always the unlucky couple. Our proms were inundated with flat tires, limo hit and runs, missed dances by like 2 minutes and reservations not in the system when we arrived at the restaurant. Long trips either had an overheated radiator 3 hours into the trip or a speeding ticket 5 minutes into the trip. Now you would think these occurrences would lead me into a negative way of thinking. Not so! I just think life thought we needed some excitement. Thanks life, 'preciate it!
20 years into our relationship, it hasn't changed much. I am the positive side of this battery and my husband is the negative. He is the one that believes that life is out to get us. Any kink in his chain, he falls to pieces and goes on a tangent on how life sucks. If I get a kink in my chain, I usually take a breath and patiently unkink the chain.
How does this type of relationship work? Well shit! I haven't a freaking clue. It drives me bonkers that this logical man believes that luck is not on our side. It drives me crazy that this man actually believes luck is the down cursor of all our "misfortunes."
Luck has nothing to do with it. Luck is just what you decide to get you down....or up for that matter. I believe and been proved correct most of the time that if you've been wronged, you can usually find a loophole or some fine print to get out of it. Yesterday, for a split second, I saw a glimpse of this positive energy attack my husband. He was attempting to read that fine print or find that elusive loophole. I've never laughed so hard in awhile.
Husband: I just broke another tooth.
Me: Again!?
Husband: Damn, freaking Doritos.
Me: You're blaming the Doritos and not wondering why you've once again broke another tooth?
Husband: I think it's a crown.
Me: Oh well that's good. You'll just need $500 for a new crown and not $1000 for a root canal.
Husband: Do you remember who did this crown?
Me: I really don't pay that much attention to your dental hygiene. That's your own thing.
Husband: I don't think they're supposed to break like this. I think I may get something out of this.
Me: You think a crown has a lifetime warranty?
Husband: Well, that or some kind of guarantee!
Me: Sweetie? It's a crown. I don't think crowns have a warranty more than a week after they install it. It ain't a Blu-Ray player.
Husband: Well, that's bullshit!
Me: No, that's just life. Quit eating so god damn much and breaking your teeth on stooopid things.
Husband: So this is my fault?
Me: Um....no honey, you're right. I blame the Doritos and the faulty crown.
And there you have it. He tried and he failed to find the brighter side. Did he hold on to this new way of thinking that life is NOT out to get him?
Nope! Two hours later, after putting in our new Blu-ray of Avatar.
Husband: It's not working!!!!
Me: Calm down.
Husband: It's been loading for like 2 minutes.
Me: Well the pack came with a DVD too so just put that one in.
Husband: This is bullshit! We need a new Blu-Ray player...shit, we might as well get a new TV too. This place is going to shit! When it rains, it's a fucking shit-storm on the Bonifacio's.
Me: Yah, poor you. Want a Dorito?
Happy Monday people! It's gonna be a fantastic, busy day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
