Let it go Louie!

Hi everybody! It's been awhile and a lot has happened but I won't be updating you on the past 7 months, I promise.

Today I wanna talk about the past. You ever have a couple days where the same lesson keeps happening over and over again so you think some cosmic karma is trying to hit you over the head. "Hey! Pay attention!" I had my best friend/brother in law down over the past 4 days. We have a history longer than the history I share with my husband (his actual brother). Him and I have experienced some life lessons together that still affect us today.

I was watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels yesterday. This guy has been with the same woman for over 28 years but finally just married her. He didn't believe in the sanctity of marriage but also believed since he wasn't married, he could cheat on her whenever his dick pointed him in the wrong direction. So the episodes were of his transformation from a playboy to a married man. I was crying the entire time. Hey, I'm a sap. I cry at weddings. Something was bugging the crap out of me though. All his friends kept saying things so unsupportive to him. It was like all of these "close friends" were basically reminding him what a loser he was. Here is this guy that is taking this giant leap into a new life and all his friends and family are poking him with his past. Why? It was their wedding reception and people were toasting him like it was a roast. Let it go Louie! What we were doesn't make us what we are!


My father has a tradition. It's a holiday tradition, usually done over dinner. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, you name it, if we are eating an elaborate dinner as a family, he's keeping up the tradition. What's the tradition? He tells the same stories of my mistakes and blunders. Sure, some of em are funny as hell but most of em aren't me anymore. How many times must I be reminded what I horrible child I was or how many hairs he lost with me growing up? I'm ::age omitted:: years old dangit! Let it go Louie! I'm not that girl anymore. Sure, I still have a smidge of a "me" complex where I sometimes think, "What about me?" but I'm a mother and a wife. I am aware that it's not all about me. It can't be.

I think it bothers me though because it means I'll never be forgiven. My mistakes will always be my middle name. The definition of my life will be every lie, every mistake and every selfish act I did. That's not fair! I don't do that to people. Do I?

Shit, I totally do.

Since 1992, my date for my high school reunion was always going to be my brother in law/best friend. Why? Well, my husband hated EVERYBODY in my class. Why would I bring him to my reunion? He seemed a little hurt by that when I informed him that I didn't wanna bring him. Of course, as I considered it, he said something reminiscent of 20 years prior like, "Nobody better fuck with me though or look at you!" But who am I to expect others to forgive and forget my past when I can't even do the same for my husband? Forgiveness doesn't condone behavior, it gives a freedom to go forward. I guess I've got a date to my high school reunion to ask. :)

So as I have a lot of things I wish people would forgive me for, I too need to forgive and as I say, "Let it go Louie!" I will try not to bring up a past behavior that hasn't resurfaced since that day. I will no longer allow a moment that still makes me cry when I speak of it to control me. I will almost always look at you as you are today, not how you were yesterday. I will embrace who I am today and accept that what happened before is what got me here.

I had to say goodbye yesterday and watch my best friend/brother in law leave again. I cried of course but I also felt a sense of relief. All of the things that we had experienced together, been angry about, still to this day tear up about aren't worth the effort. Just the fact that we share em should be enough. We've been giving em so much power all of these years but have never even considered letting em go. Well, no more.

Let it go Louie!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


One thing.

Isn't it funny how one thing can ruin your entire day? And that one thing is some douchebag that has bugged the shit out of you for quite awhile?

Yesterday was one of those monotonous days. Not really busy but I felt like I just couldn't keep up. The phone wouldn't shut up. The fax machine was like permanently ON. Those damn electronic prescriptions just kept coming in. I'd clear those out and BANG, 8 more would pop up.

"Excuse me, you've got 8 new prescriptions in the file....please bend over."

God dammit! Oh and my new pet peeve is new customers. That's not very customer servicey of me but when I ask, "Have you filled here before?" and the answer is, "Um.....I'm not sure." Oh. My. God. I could just throttle the person. And they can tell too because I'm not very good at hiding my annoyance. Considering my annoyance is usually accompanied with a sigh and rolling my eyes as I grab a blank profile to fill out, yah, I'm pretty fucking annoyed.

But my one thing, the ONE THING that gets me more pissed than anything is people that think they're better than me. It's not that they are....cause they're not. It's that they make no qualms about acting like they're better than me. They talk down to you. They talk over you. They don't even bother listening to you. They are the ultimate douchebag of douchebags.

What's your one thing? The one thing that makes you burn with hate? Rage against the law that prevents you from murder? Shake your fist at the employee handbook that clearly states that you can't call a customer out for being an asshole? What would you like to say to them? Here's mine:

Mr. Davidson? I know how to spell Davidson. You sound like a complete idiot when you say, "Like Harley Davidson." You aren't even a smidge cool enough to associate your name with a Harley. I swear to god, if I ever see you outside of work, I plan on being the biggest bitch to you and you will probably cry. And if you do cry, I will just stand there and watch with a smile on my face. And Mr. Davidson? I'd say kiss my ass but you sir aren't even worthy of doing that.

Happy Hump Day! It's my last day before my 4 day weekend. I've got 8 and 1/2 hours. 5with the good pharmacist and 3 and 1/2 with Buzz. My give a shit meter was on empty yesterday at 4pm so today oughta be fun. ;)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Happiness.....I'm easy. :)

It's Tuesday! I made it through my Monday with Buzz and one of my favorite pharmacists was back. Seriously, making it through yesterday was like the ultimate hill because I really only have to deal with Buzz for like 2 hours on Wednesday. And as y'all know, by Wednesday, I really don't give a shit. If you're sick and I appear sympathetic....damn, I'm good cause I really don't give a poo. Suck it up, pay for your meds and get the hell outta here!

What does that have to do with my title of Happiness? Well, absolutely nothing. I just felt like talking about the mundane things that make me happy. I've never been a hard person to please. I don't like jewelry. I don't really need flowers. If my husband bought me jewelry, I'd check his cock for a disease. I swear I would. Cause there is absolutely no reason to buy me that shit. It's just a waste of time. I've got a wedding ring, my grandmother's ruby ring and my ring with my daughters' birthstone. I can't wear earrings because they get infected when I do. Necklaces are just annoying unless I'm trying to be fancy....and honestly, how fancy is a tube top or a tank top?

I got some sun on my face this weekend. Granted, I was wearing sunglasses so in reality, my face just appears dirty but I know it's a tan. A little color on my pasty white skin makes me happy. NOT a tan I got from a tanning bed or a spray. A real tan. The kinda tan that looks healthy. The kinda tan that tightens your skin a little making you appear 5lbs lighter. Yah, that kinda tan makes me happy. I could sit in the sun and feel like a million bucks. The cool breeze that happens in Texas over spring blowing your hair in a way. Damn, I'm kinda turning myself on here. Love the sun. I've missed the sun. But you can feel it in the air, Spring has sprung and Jeanie's about to be very happy. Tube tops, tank tops, spring dresses and my favorite black flip flops are the choice. That is my kind of happiness.

Now how hard is that? Extremely difficult when it's freaking freezing for 6 months and the dress of choice is clothes that a hobo would put his nose up to. And when you're me and desperately trying to appear somewhat sexy, how in thee hell is that possible when your only option for clothes is sweatpants and hoodies? I even one year tried to get some nice warm clothes by purchasing sexy boots, nice jeans and sweaters. Lemme tell ya, sexy boots are painful within minutes of wearing em and sweaters aren't very warm unless you've got a nice coat overtop of it. That's another thing, I've never owned a coat that kept me warm.

So anywho, yet another post about nothing with a large side of whine. So in closing, I give you my list of happiness.

1) The sun.
2) Red Bull.
3) My couch.
4) My black Nike flip flops.
5) My iPod and an empty house so I can dance my ass off in private.
6) General Hospital
7) A nice patio chair with a patio table to put my feet up on.

Oh and of course my family and friends. :) I hope you all have a great Tuesday. I will be spending the day with one of my favorite pharmacists.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Spring Break

I took a week off because the kids had a week off. I'm allowed. It was so nice not to wake up at 5am and fight with the kids.

Some things happened over the past week that broke my heart. I have some lessons I learned from and lessons retaught.

A loss by any means can remind you of your own losses.

There isn't a manual on how to get over a loss. There is no magic word that will make everything better. There isn't one because as humans, you can't get over a loss of a loved one or a dream. And I'm not here to help other than to say, I've felt loss in my life and still haven't gotten over it. I just adapted to it and learned from it.

The day M was diagnosed with diabetes, it felt like a death. A death of a lifestyle that we'll never get back. I mourned the loss of easy in her life. I cried for the "what ifs" that would never happen. But at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do except adapt. Find just one thing that betters your life from it and use it to get you through your day. On May 26th it will be a year and I can say, the normal I was promised that would return has. I've adapted, she's adapted and our normal is finally here.

And whatever loss you've experienced, whether it be a death of a loved one or the obliteration of a dream, there has to be something in it that benefits your life. It might be an appreciation of what you have, a memory worth savoring or just a hug held longer than usual. At least that's how I've always tried to overcome a loss. But I will say this, I could just be full of shit. I accept that. :)

It's a short post today but I had to put something down on paper. Y'all know how I take a break and make it an even longer one. Happy Monday! My eyes are so dry and itchy. I've also decided that as soon as this day is over, I'm gonna have the answer of if I'll make it through this week. I think the pimple on my nose says it's gonna be a long one. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


It wasn't me!

I am not a religious person by any means. (Said the girl who gave up cussing for Lent) But after waking up this morning and hearing the horrible news of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan and Hawaii bracing for a tsunami as well, I did my Facebook scan and conducted a roll call of sorts. The people I know are safe.

I am heartbroken at the pictures but I don't take it upon myself. I don't run around feeling the heartbreak and act like it's my personal heartbreak. That completely irks me to the point where I wanna strangle people. And don't try to make this about God. I swear, "The earth is crying, the heavens are wreaking havoc on us. We must pray to God." Are you freaking kidding me???? That person is gonna be deleted from my Facebook friends. Don't make this disaster my fault. Don't make it God's either.

I didn't shake the earth. I didn't cause the ripple in the ocean and cause the wall of water to rise. I mean my goodness. Take that bible I know you don't have at the ready and shove it up your butt! (Still not cussing)

I've have had it with people trying to shove God down my throat. My friend posted a status update about her hair falling out and some dummy replied, "You need to let God in your life." Seriously???? God is making her hair fall out? Poor God, he gets blamed for everything obviously. If I was God, I'd be pissed at all the fingers pointed in his/her direction. I sometimes picture him/her saying with his/her hands up, "Wasn't me!"

Now I wanna talk about the news. I'm one of those obsessive people that stay glued to the set watching the devastation over and over again. Since 5am this morning, the breaking news has changed every hour. It's like a horror movie. It's 8am and the tsunami has passed through Hawaii and is threatening the US West Coast. Dude, the waves weren't that bad in Hawaii from what I'm hearing....why are they trying to inflict panic in the West Coast now? What are we waiting for now? I can just imagine my Auntie grabbing her powdered milk and soup cans right now, running through the streets and screaming. Calm down Auntie, put the water jugs down, you'll pull a muscle.

I blame the news for this. They literally and visibly were disappointed Hawaii wasn't obliterated by this tsunami. What a bunch of douchebags! They'll probably commit suicide if there isn't at least one death on American soil.

Happy Friday everybody? Prepare for the "Help Japan" telethons and text JAPAN to At&T to donate. Oh and Brad Pitt? New Orleans ain't back yet.....please don't move to Japan to raise awareness.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I Give Up!

I'm Catholic. I was baptized and confirmed and all the Catholic beliefs were shoved down my throat until the age of 18. When I got married however, the Catholic church believed that I should pay $3000 to get married in it's church and I decided getting married in a Catholic church wasn't very important. So, my husband and I were married by a Lutherin priest in a Methodist church. So far, the heavens hasn't rained blood for it either. The Catholic church has denied my children be baptized Catholic though because a Catholic priest once had the nerve to tell me that God looked at my children as bastards because we weren't married in his eyes. Um....yah, I said some pretty harsh things to that priest and never went back.

I've abandoned a lot of things when concerning the Catholic faith but I've always recognized Lent. The whole eating no meat thing isn't my thing. Yesterday, I had a meatloaf sandwich and didn't even think twice about it. As for the 40 days and 40 nights of giving something up that I would miss, I've always done that. Last year, I gave up soda. It wasn't that difficult, soda is expensive! It was pretty easy actually and I even kept my weight at my perfect weight.

This year however, I'm going to attempt to give up the impossible. Cussing.

Stop laughing.

No really, stop laughing.

Yesterday was a rough day at work. It seemed the devil was out in full force yesterday and decided to send all his minions into the pharmacy just for me. So yesterday was OUT! I cussed so many times, I think I even surpassed my original record of 15 cusswords an hour. So, today's the day. I am going to try really hard.

Yesterday's conversations.

Me: Hey, I'm going to give up cussing for Lent.

Husband: How ya gonna do that? You breathe cusswords.

Me: You don't think I can do it?

Husband: I think you can do anything but you without a cussword is like Red Bull without vodka.

Me: Shit, Red Bull without vodka is a fucking tragedy.

Husband: Um.....does Lent start tomorrow?

Me: Crap! Yes, it freaking starts tomorrow for me.


M: I love how I'm suddenly Catholic and I have to give up something for Lent.

Me: Oh shut up and pick something. I'm gonna kick your mother....fudging ass.

M: How's that not cussing?

Me: Ass is a donkey.

M: When you mean it as a donkey! When you mean it for the word butt....it's cussing.

Me: Smart ass.


Day 1
Cussword Count by 7am: 2

This is gonna be a long 39 days. Happy Thursday everybody!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I'm like a pit bull I tell ya!

Here's why.

M, my 13 year old is a smart girl. I count my blessings everyday for that. In being smart, she's very trustworthy too. I don't think she's ever told a lie her whole life and if she has, she must be a good liar. Bottom line, I trust her. I've never been given a reason not to trust her judgement.

She's the daughter of a cop too. It's almost as bad as being the daughter of a pastor. You know the old saying of those kids are the worst kind of kids. Not M. K on the other hand might be a different story but not M.

My husband and I don't overprotect her. We don't keep her from things. We don't set rules that will "protect" her from the evils of actually living and experiencing life. You can't do that. Especially with a daughter of a cop. We know the statistics and we're going to beat the odds.

So yesterday after a long and busy day at work, I get home and immediately have to go to K's "3rd grade Open House." After changing out of my red and khakis, I went outside and found M in tears. It seems the next door neighbor took it upon himself to chastise my daughter for talking to a couple boys. Nevermind that the boys were in her class. Nevermind that it's a public street. Nevermind that he had no right whatsoever to say anything to my daughter. His problem? Well, his 10 year old was standing with my daughter while she was speaking with the spawns of the devil. ((GASP))

Um.....no. I don't think so. And I was pissed. I was shaking like a leaf. So I called my husband into the back yard and told him the situation. Now my husband isn't much of a fan of boys talking to our daughter. Trust me, he was watching her and knew what was going on. But all the man had to see was I was probably going to blow this completely out of control if he didn't handle it. And he did. He went over and had a little talk with the guy.

It took me like two hours to finally calm down, and that was even after the wife came over and apologized again for what her husband did. Look, I'm not going to tell anybody how to raise their children but some of the parents on this block are fucking NUTS! It's mostly girls with the exception of a few boys. The answer to keep their daughters from the evils of boys is to inform them that they are to come inside if there's a boy present. Um.....WHAT???? Jesus, can you say 15 and pregnant in your future???

It's one thing to talk to your girls about the facts of life but basically enforcing the idea that boys are evil and should be avoided is probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention making everybody uncomfortable because a person isn't anatomically correct. Good lord, I live on a block with retards. Lesson taught though. Don't scold my child. Don't embarrass my child. Don't make my child cry. If you do any of these things, you will regret it.

I'm gonna end this by saying, Happy Hump Day. If you find yourself in my neighborhood and you have a penis, please tuck it away as you might be stoned to death.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Short one....

...cause I'm afraid of what I really wanna say.

As I was trying to leave work yesterday, I was walking in front of a guy that was on the phone. I'm not much of an eavesdropper but he was right behind me. I heard him tell whoever he was on the phone with, "As soon as I get outta here, I'll be right over. I love you baby." My first instinct wasn't, "Awwww, how sweet." My first instinct was just to smile. But then, as he passed me by, he walked up to one of our cashiers and say, "So what time do you think you'll be home?"

Yah, what???

Now I don't even know any co-workers outide of the pharmacy. I don't really wanna. I'll say hi and maybe smile at em but I've got way too many faces to remember anyway. So I don't know this cashier but I do slow my walk a little to overhear him tell her, "I'm gonna go home and sleep for a bit. I love you baby."

What a douchebag!

And this isn't a quandary or anything. I ain't gonna tell this girl, who I prolly couldn't pick out in a line-up anything but the word love obviously was like breathing for that guy. Saying, "I love you," to a person that believes in the word, love, is probably too important for it just to be spewed like vomit. I love yellow cake and chocolate frosting. I love the people I work with. I love boy short underwear.

Does my throwing the word around like that make me a douchebag? I don't think so but I could care less if it does though.

I also love my kids and my husband. I tell them everyday before they go to school, before he goes to work, when they go to bed, and when he gets home in the morning. I feel I didn't just vomit that word, love. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I know the hypocrisy of it and I choose to use it at my will.

I love my family, my friends and my life. I do know this though, I would never tell my husband that I love him and turn around to tell another man the same thing. It wouldn't be right.

Huh, I guess I'm not a douchebag after all. Have a great Tuesday everybody! I love you! :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I don't really mind it.

Monday's that is.

I mean sure, it's the beginning of the work week but what kind of crybaby would I be when I only work 3 days and I just had 4 days off? What I hate is the responsibility of what Monday's bring.

It takes me about an hour to get back into the groove of things. And that's an hour AT work. Like right now, I could totally close my eyes and fall back asleep. But I can't. I've got about 1/2 an hour before I have to leave. When I get there, hopefully the 2 cups of coffee and the Red Bull in my hand wakes me up a bit. Either that or makes me jumpy....cause I gotta pee. :)

5am wake ups for this track thing with M is killing me! And yes, I know, M's the one who actually has to DO the track at 6am in the morning but the act of rolling over, pounding the snooze button 4+ times and then repeating myself, "Get up baby, you've got lots of stuff to do, make your lunch, let's go," is really exhausting. But I already went into that on Friday, NOT gonna repeat whine.

My husband had to be up at 4am this morning but that was his choice. He's on his way to some new deer lease to sign the contracts for it. From what I hear, and I rarely listen when the word hunting is mentioned, it's a better lease of land. Whatever. Hunting season starts in October, why am I being forced to hear about it in March?

M has a track meeting tonight at 6pm. She told me about it and I elected to say, "Tell your father, I ain't gonna be able to rush home for it." These kids are gonna be the death of any relaxation for me and my husband. We've got soccer and now we've got this track AND choir stuff. I mean jeez, can't a girl plop down on a couch after a day of work. Well, THIS girl is. And this girl is also going to go to bed at 10pm tonight. This is where it starts too. Dinners are gonna start being served at 5pm. Showers are gonna be taken at 7pm. Old fart status will be achieved within the week.

I carpool M and E to track on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays now. Being so early, here's the convo.

Me: Hey E, are you as tired as we are?

E: ::grunt::

Me: My feelings exactly.

M: ::mumble::

Me: No, you'll have to walk home today. Nobody's home to pick you up.

M: ::grumble::

E: I'll walk with you.

M: ::grunt::

Me: See ya later my little track stars. Have a great day!

E: ::mumble:: you too.

M: ::grumble:: bye.

Yah, we're a laugh riot in the morning. Have a great Monday people. It'll be about 1 hour and 45 minutes before I start speaking more audibly without mumbles reminiscent of a monkey. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I'm a lover....not a fighter.

Mornings are so monotonous. It's the same thing every morning. I yell at my kids, I yell at em again, I threaten death, I yell at them yet again. I get it, you're tired, school sucks and sleep is all you wanna do. Well suck it up azzholes, you think I want to be doing this too?

So yesterday I was in a coma from 10am to 3pm. Count that as 3 days of catching up from repeating the words, "Get UP!!!" over and over again. Today, I have to do the taxes. Taxes used to be fun for me. I loved watching the refund climb as I added my deductions. Lately, for about 3 years, the refund barely climbs. My husband makes too much money and add me going back to work, this one may just be about 8 hours of praying we don't owe.

It pisses me off when people come out with thousands of dollars in a refund. Jeez, what famous author of fiction does their taxes???

Anywhoo! Today I have a rant. 13 year olds. Even worse, a 13 year old that always has an answer. How can this girl listen to reason but STILL have a mumble or a grumble for rebuttal. I swear, I wanna reach over and strangle the rebuttal out of her. And the arguments are so ridiculous, I sometimes wanna strangle myself for falling for it. And everything is so dramatic. Oh and even better, or more annoying is she thinks she's such a bad ass. I mean, the girl hasn't gotten into a fight once in her life yet she acts like she's the UFC champion of the world. Um......no sweetie. You can't get into a fist fight with your friend's mom or dad. That would be my job, and I ain't gettin' involved. But I swear, this girl's attitude is gonna get me in trouble. My thoughts on that is, "Why me?"

M: ::slamming the door:: I swear, if (name omitted)'s dad doesn't quit being a jerk, I'm gonna have words with him.

Me: What?

M: I already told (name omitted) if he has a problem with me, he needed to come over and say it to my face.

Me: Are you freaking kidding me? Jesus! You do realize that if he says anything to you, which he has a right to now, me or your dad is gonna get involved, right?

M: Good!

Husband: If your mom or I get into a fight with a neighbor because of your mouth, I'm gonna have to beat you.

Me: Hmmmmm, I wonder where she gets it from. :/ Whatever happened to solving problems with a joke and a smile. Why's it always gotta be so dramatic?

And this has been my life since I was 16 years old. My husband was the most hated person in town because he was SUCH an asshole! He ran his mouth first and never freaking shut it. I on the other hand never got into a fight. I probably had a total of 3 people that hated me enough to want to fight me, but I had some great friends that kept me from harm's way. Oh and sidenote, those 3 people that hated me, hated me because of that asshole who is my husband right now. Silly girls. ;) I've tried to explain to the 13 year old the trick to NOT fighting. Being mouthy is fine, but you better have a bad ass friend in your corner, cause I was not meant for being a bad ass.

I don't think she gets it though and I fear one of these days is probably gonna end with a black eye and more dramatics. I only hope she finds a friend like I had. It was a Halloween party of Halloween parties. The girl, we'll call her "Sasquatch" had been gunning for me for about a month. It happened so quick but all I remember was my hair being pulled from behind. The next thing I knew, my bad ass friend had clocked her good, my hair was released instantly and "Sasquatch" was out cold on a kitchen floor. I looked at my friend in shock because it may have been quick, but my life passed before my eyes with the first hair tug. Seriously, "Sasquatch" would've mutilated me. I smiled a mischievous grin and said, "Shot of tequila?"

That was the first night I got sick off tequila....and it wasn't my last. Happy Friday everybody! I've got a freaking 8am soccer game tomorrow for Katie and I'm ridin' it solo. Lord help me or give me a stomach bug to get me out of it. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Hello again :)

So, we're into 2011 and this is my first post of the year. I apologize for being absent for so long. It's been so busy I guess with work, the girls and my husband. I'll just try to catch up.

Work is going good. I'm up to 24 hours a week now, working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I have a 4 day weekend but I'll tell you, by Wednesday, my "give a shit" meter is at an all time low. It's becoming busier in the pharmacy. I made it an entire year at good ol' Target and I have to admit, going back to work was the best decision that fell into my lap ever. Dennis has gotten a new nickname. "Buzz" was given to him for the reason that whenever he walks into the pharmacy, he's a major buzzkill. He's still the same. He is still under the impression that he's perfect but he's kinda growing on me. I've become quite close to everybody else in the pharmacy and have grown to depend on them as co-workers and friends. I love when that happens.

The girls are good. K is 9 years old and going on 30. She still has the ability to make you smile and laugh in your darkest mood. Of course with getting older, her ability to stop talking has taken a turn to not existing. She truly is still my mini-me. I can never say anything bad about her because I would essentially be saying bad things about me. I do understand what my father meant when he kept telling me to stop and think before opening my "smart mouth" when I was growing up. M still has diabetes. :) Yes, I know, it's a lifelong disease. She is 10 months in from her diagnosis and in all honesty we're kicking it's ass. It's gotten easier after she graduated to the carb-ratio plan. No more limited carbs. Now she can eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants and just figures out the dose of insulin with it. She has also graduated into the next step of womanhood and recently dove into hormone hell. Yet another thing that'll mess with her disease but we seem to be coping well. My poor husband has one hormone-less child in the house. I fear he'll leave us all when all 3 of us gang up on him. In the end though, the girls are moving forward and I'm just desperately hanging on to try to keep up. It's fantastic!

My husband has moved from upstairs being a detective back to patrol. It was quite a transition for us but after a couple months, we've got it. He's happy. :) The first month was all about trying to find a balance from being a family and accommodating a guy that couldn't quite get that he had a family to spend time with. I thought it was an easy concept. Him? Not so much.

My view has always been that home was a sort of "home base." Nobody could touch me here. They couldn't hurt me. They couldn't bring me down. I could be myself, whether it be a raving lunatic or a tired and exasperated woman. I am accepted in my home. My husband would come home and act like everything was an attack. So after a couple days of explaining that concept to him and a couple weeks of repeating it, he finally got it. This family has been through so much, we really needed a place where we felt safe. You can't come home and invade our place by yelling at us and flexing your manly muscles without getting a dose of ego-popping from me. And the poor girls, they barely saw him and when they did, he was always yelling at them. Um.....no. And poor me, when I finally got a moment alone with him, he was complaining about how messy the house is and how he wants to move. Um.....no. Don't shit in my cornflakes buddy cause I will make you beg for mercy. You sir are outnumbered here, count it, readjust the attitude.

Don't worry though, when you have me as wife, a friend or a mother, you'll always see the light.

Now I'm gonna try to keep this up again. No promises though but I will try. I've missed it. Everybody is fine though. I have no complaints. I'm looking forward to starting some new habits, ending some old ones and making good decisions that will make me and my circle of friends and family happy. Happy Thursday everybody! For old times sake, here's a carpool convo. New characters are M2's brother T and E's brother I, who I've nicknamed "Tuba." He plays an instrument that is NOT a tuba but whenever I call it a tuba, giggles ensue from everybody but "Tuba." :) Oh and M is trying out for track now at school with E so that's the reason for the conversation.

Me: M ran a mile in 9 minutes yesterday and she hates running.

T: That means she'd probably run a 5K in about 25 minutes. For somebody who hates running, that's a pretty good time.

Me: I think she's better at short distance. She tends to burn out quick.

Tuba: My dad ran a Marathon Man and my mom runs every morning.

Me: Nobody like a bragger Tuba.

Tuba: I'm not bragging but some people die doing the Marathon Man.

Me: I know I would. I ran a 5K.

T: What was your time?

Me: 45 minutes.

T: WHAT????? Did you crawl it? Or was it in water or something?

Me: Nooooooooooooooo, I walked up the hills and sprinted down em. There were a lot of hills but the cookies at the end were fantastic!

T: I'd say nobody likes a bragger but 45 minutes is NOTHING to brag about Miss Jean.

Me: Well hey, it's about 2 miles to school from here. Get out and we can see who makes it there first. Me or you. :P

T: I ran a 5K in 22 minutes.

Me: Seriously, get out. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.