This is my life.

I've begun to despise my kids. Don't get me wrong, I love em but good god do they know how to push my buttons.

With school starting, I've set some rules. With these rules, I stated that under no circumstances do they argue with me about them or try to get out of them.

Day 2 of set rules. 8pm, it's time to come inside and relax for the remaining hour and a half of wakefulness. Did they come in with a smile? Did they wave goodbye to their friends and run inside with a skip to their walk?

No.

They did what they always do and argued with me. I have had it with this attitude kids these days have where they don't take no for an answer. What part of me being an adult constitutes me explaining myself when I give an answer to a child? Absolutely nothing.

Child: Can I have another Coke?

Me: No.

Child: Why?

Me: Because you've already had a Coke today. Drink some water or some juice.

Child: But if I just drink water tomorrow, can I have a Coke tonight?

Now here's me. I'm not stupid. I know that tomorrow will come and somehow the child will ask for another Coke. It seems stupid and trivial but seriously? Why do I even bother to explain myself? No!!! Get your ass outta my face and drink some water!

And that's their downfall. Their momma ain't stupid. She isn't a pushover either. She'll apologize if she's wrong but she ain't gonna go back on a rule she set. And no amount of convincing is gonna....convince me. So shut up, get outta my face and please keep the muttering to a minimum.

Muttering. Now I may be losing some sight and some hearing but I can freaking hear you when you are talking shit. And I have never backed down from a muttering of smack talk that I knew it was directed at me. I went to Tracy High School dammit...the freaking palace of muttering, trash talking jack-asses. Oh yah....don't play me cause you will lose.

So we're on to day 2 of school. Yesterday was a cluster-fuck of idiots that don't get the concept of dropping their kids off at school. Drive, stop, drive again. Easy! But no, they have to try to get in the "better" lane or get their kid to the front of the door. I was 5 minutes late yesterday to work because I spent 30 minutes in the drop-off line at the middle school. Trust me, if I had 10 extra minutes....my ass was tempted to knock on a few bumpers and flip a couple dozen idiots off. But I didn't. Dammit, I didn't.

Today is a short day at work. I think it's my last short day in a long time. I plan on enjoying this day as best I can. When I walk out those Target doors at 2pm today....I will have a little wiggle to my hips and twinkle in my eye. I have no idea who I'm working with though. Yesterday I worked with Dennis Hopper and it wasn't too bad. We commiserated about the traffic in the morning....which is why I didn't get in trouble for being 5 minutes late. :) I'm actually starting to really, really like Dennis Hopper. Don't tell though. Have a great Tuesday everybody.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

I'm green and I don't like it.

I've never been one to be jealous. I think it's a useless emotion. I guess it all started in high school but jealousy has always had a hard time biting me. I had a friend that was prettier than me but I wasn't jealous. Why? Well, I may not have been the "prettiest" one in the group but I did bring something to the table that outshined everybody. My sister was smarter than me. I "might" have been jealous with that one but I sure didn't do anything to remedy it. I just continued to be me and came out alright.

I don't look at other people's lives and turn green with envy wishing I had what they had. Trust me, they probably worked really hard to get it and I don't really like working that hard. I've always been the type of girl that rolls with the punches and just believes that something good will come my way. It usually does too.

I was never jealous of my husband and attention some skank may be giving him. She's a skank. Why would I be jealous of a skank? When good things happen to my friends, I'm always the first one thinking that they deserve it.

See? I don't get jealous. It's useless with me.

Today is Friday though. I have to go to work. My husband took the day off because our children have off from school.

I. Am. Jealous.

Now don't get me wrong. It'll probably be on the Hunting Channel all day long. He's probably going to obliterate the house and throw away things he shouldn't throw away. He might do the yard or he might wash the car. I'm not jealous of THAT. I'm merely jealous that I had to hear the alarm this morning and get off my lazy ass and get ready for work.

I'm still somewhat recovering from the stomach alien that nested in my belly on Wednesday that I spewed out in the toilet. My morning consisted of showering and putting my curly hair (because I'm too lazy to straighten it) in a clip. I look like a librarian with my frizzy curls peeking out from the clip. Oh yah, I'm a dreamgirl right now. I would've much rather punched that alarm clock with my fist, roll over and zonk out again. Didn't happen though.

I get to work with Pop Quiz Asshole again today. Joy! :)

This weekend consists of near to nothing. M has a physical for sports next year in 7th grade. It's at 9:30am. Gahhhhhhd! Hello? It's Saturday! My husband is driving to his new deer lease while I'm doing the physical stuff to sign the paperwork and install some cameras.

I'm soooooooooooo glad I have to take M to her physical. Cause I AIN'T involving myself in this deer land lease. Have a fantastic Friday people. It'll be over soon....right?


If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Wednesday/Hump Day/Bitch about your husband day

I know my title isn't very original but hey, I'm tired. When I stayed at home all day, everyday, I loved Hump Day. It was the middle of the week. Yep, that was how boring it was when the weekend didn't really mean much to me.

So I worked Monday and Tuesday this week. I typed my fingers raw and stood on my feet all day. BTW, still haven't gotten a good pair of shoes but I'll refrain from bitching about how sore my feet are. My kids are doing very good with the ten minutes of alone time it takes me to get from the store to the house. Megan has only lost her key once....granted, she only had it two days but baby steps. It's hard being a responsible kid when you're only twelve. She's the most responsible of the two girls I own so I'm pretty lucky.

I've managed to glide into this working mother routine with the grace of a ballerina. If a ballerina wore red shirts and khakis....I'd perform The Nutcracker for you, I would. I've always had a hot meal on the table. I've gone to my husband's soccer games and cheered my fine ass off. I've even helped my kids with their homework. I've actually done more as a working mother than I've ever done as a stay at home mom. Go me! Of course, I completely get that I'm not the minority here. Mom's have been doing this for years. My two week accomplishment is crackers compared to them. But hey, this is me, let me pat myself on the back.

With working though, it has its drawbacks. My husband has found a new button to push. I've mentioned the "buttons" before. Call me a bad mother, a bad wife or anything that I've always tried to be good at....and I fall to pieces. My husband rarely does this but if he's backed into a corner....he says it. It's like the lame comeback, "Oh yeah? Well...um....YOUR MOMMA!" Yeah, that's my husband.

So, what's the new button?

Well, I had a great day yesterday. Only made a few mistakes and even smiled through an episode with a customer that I'm convinced was an idiot. When my husband and I got home almost at the same time, it was obvious from the get go that we weren't going to be able to have a civilized conversation. I had Chicken n' Dumplings in the crock pot. My husband was eating burritos.

Me: What are you eating now?

Him: Another burrito. Why?

Me: Well, let's see. I've got dinner already planned and you're eating your weight in burritos. Why do you think?

Him: ::Slam slam:: Fine. What are you? My mother?

Me: Thank god I'm not your mother because I would've kicked your scrawny ass by now. I don't give a crap what you do. I'll just make sure not to put myself out by getting a hot meal on the table for ya anymore if you'd rather stuff your fat ass with microwave burritos.

Him: You know what? Maybe this working thing isn't working out for ya. If you're going to come home and be a bitch (This was an allowed "bitch" calling.) maybe you shouldn't be working.

Me: You know what? This had nothing to do with work. This is about you being an asshole. Maybe this being married to you isn't working out for me....what should I do about that? (Yah, I went there but he pressed a button. And if he presses the button then I have every right to press my own button.)
So there you have it. That was the button.

1) I'm a bad mother.
2) I'm a bad wife.
3) I'm a bad human being.
4) I'm not cut out for this "working" thing because it's impacting the family.

After I left the premises and cooled off. I went back into the living room and said this.

Me: If you ever say that again about me working and needing to quit because I'm obviously not cut out for it, I'll never forgive you. It won't hurt me anymore. It will just make me mad. I will hate you forever.

Him: Agreed. But I find it hard to believe this started because of a microwave burrito. I think we just had equally hard days and needed to take a breath.

Me: No, this started because I rushed home from a really good day at work, had a really good meal planned and you decided you wanted to stuff your face with crap instead of wait just a little bit for a good meal. But don't worry, I forgive you and I didn't need to take a breath. Can we watch LOST now?

Problem solved....I think.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Miserable Muses.

Most people get off on being miserable. Some can be described as pessimists. I have a tendency to be a pessimist but I'm mostly an optimist. I don't think bad things always happen to me. When bad things happen, I don't ask, "Why does this always happen to me?"

I understand the meaning of a bad day. I even understand a bad day seeming like the end of the world. It's never the end of the world until you're dead and buried though. I am not dead and buried.

One thing I have noticed is I can write like a wild woman when I'm feeling miserable. I put all the sadness, all the pain, and all the tears into my writing and I swear....I feel better. Don't get me wrong, I may feel better but the bad day hasn't disappeared. I've still woken up the next day and the bad is still there. Oh life. You suck sometimes but thanks for not killing me yet. I've still got stuff to do.

After a horrible morning yesterday that started at 12am and lasted through the night, I had hit rock bottom. I had faked it throughout the day with a smile that could've won awards. I didn't rub off on anybody. I didn't force my bad day onto others. I had made it through the day. And then my daughter, M. My daughter takes after my husband. And don't get me wrong, that's not necessarily a bad thing but it has its moments. I have key points that you can hit me with that hurt. They hurt so bad that I feel like my heart is breaking.

1) I'm a bad mother.
2) I'm a bad wife.
3) I've ruined you.

I got hit with 2 of those 3 things yesterday. And luckily for M, her dad heard the fight and came in and rescued me....or M....I'm not sure who was in more trouble actually. He did however separate us and when I was away from M, I burst into tears. How utterly ridiculous to allow a 12 year old to reduce you to tears? But you see, I wasn't just crying for that one thing. My body and my heart couldn't hold it in anymore.

So, what's the point? Well, my point is everybody has a bad day. Everybody has a moment where the world is ending. We are all human and all of that is okay. You're all allowed to have bad days. That's just life. If life didn't give you bad days, you wouldn't know what a good day was. And if your bad day carries over to the next day? Well, I always think that just means you didn't learn anything yet so life is just giving you a second chance to figure it out.

So figure it out! Cause life's hard, life sucks, life is not a picnic. It's up to you to conquer it and bring the snacks.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.