4/18/15

Undeniable

I rarely lie. If I say something, 98% of the time, I am being truthful and completely mean what I've said. Examples? K and I had to run to Zales today at the Allen Outlets and lemme tell ya, being at any outlet on the weekend is probably #1 on my list of "Don't wanna do." I ran into Gwen from my old Target days. We did the glance, look away, glance again, oh my god it's you! She looks fantastic. I gave her the biggest hug. Not one of those hugs you're thinking about. Those hugs you give and before you stop hugging you make that conscious decision not to let go yet. There's not that many moments in your life for a hug like that. I can tell you there's been a handful of hugs I decided I needed just a little longer of a hug. I've hugged my sister like that. I've hugged my mom like that. And yah, I've even hugged my husband like that. It's an undeniable need to stop time and hold onto that one moment before it's gone. I haven't seen Gwen for almost 3 years and I just knew seeing her today was truly a gift I'd probably not get again for awhile. Now back to "rarely lying." Megan's car screams. No seriously, it screams! The belt needs replaced. That's all I got. It screams because it needs a new belt. It's been doing this for a long time. In fact, our neighbors use it as an alarm clock of sorts. They hear that noise and that's a cue to go to bus stop, wake up or start getting ready. Every morning at 6:30am, Monday through Friday, Megan has either started her car or there's a pack of wild boars being massacred. What pisses me off here is I guarantee you if my husband's car made this noise when he was in high school it's been fixed before it made that sound a second time. So tonight I told one of those rare lies that got me this text. "I have off on Monday so I promise it'll be fixed before she has to go to school on Tuesday. It only took him 7 months to make that promise and it took one of my "rare" lies to get it done. I'd apologize to my neighbors but I'm gonna wait until Tuesday morning before I throw all my eggs in a basket. There's still plenty of time for his "rare" lie of, "I think I fixed it." We've been duped by that quite a few times. My husband is quite handy though. He's fixed quite a few things that would've otherwise broke us. Lately though he's decided he doesn't want to be handy anymore. Wherein before if our fence blew over he'd be out there the next day pouring concrete and reassembling that fence. Or our air conditioner breaks and he's up in the attic sweating his ass off changing something. Or even more miraculous, our TV screen looks like we should have 3D glasses on to enjoy the show, he's solder ironing something and voila, it's fixed. Now? We have a new fence that cost us a fortune, our A/C unit was replaced which was a small fortune and he honestly just threw away a TV I'm convinced wasn't garbage. I get it, you're like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon and are getting too old for this shit but can we maybe space out these small fortunes you spend because you don't wanna get your worn out hands dirty? And if your daughter is driving a car that screams for over 7 months, at least be honest with yourself knowing you'd never of let that happen to you 25 years ago. "Kinda fixed it," my ass. I will say this though, he is extremely hard working and would do anything to get us what we needed. He always answers any want or wish with a, "Get it!" My M actually said the other day how dad has made any expectations she's had for a boyfriend or husband way outta reach. She didn't say it because of something dad bought or gave to one of us. She said it after watching him lean down for a kiss with all his gear on and all I did was pucker my lips. That's my husband y'all! He's done nothing but undeniably love me for over 26 years and I'll take his Danny Glover impersonation every day for just that reason. Now who wants a hug??? If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

4/15/15

I used to love this whole blog stuff!!

So I took a stroll down memory lane today and one of the roads I took lead me to this blog. Oh man, I can't believe how many posts I have. Can I talk or what? You know how this feels? It feels like that friend you run into after a decade has passed and you feel so exhausted at how much you have to talk about to catch them up on you and your life. All of that, PLUS the underlying guilt you feel for letting all the time pass between you. I have quite a few friends I don't see regularly. I have about a handful that can start up like no time has passed at all. This blog is not that friend. This blog already feels like that one friend that keeps giving me the stink eye. Screw you blog! Take that guilt and blow it out your ass. Anywho!! My husband is still my husband. My daughter M still has type 1 diabetes but still kicking it's ass. My younger daughter K is still my mini me but has came up with a few things to confuse me. I am still that sweet and fun loving girl you all remember. (I can't believe I managed to type that out) I still work part time as a pharmacy technician. I make pretty good money but don't feel like work owns my ass. Reading my past posts I can honestly say I'm in a much better place when it comes to work. (Shut up y'all, I'm much better!!) I have my moments but who doesn't?? I'd like to think if I went missing, almost everybody who saw me at work, would throw a tantrum. See?!?! Sweet and fun loving dammit! M is a junior now and doing everything a junior does. She drives. She has a boyfriend. She sleeps all the time. She's always asking for money. Another thing about M is she never goes to bed without giving me a kiss and she never leaves for school without telling me goodbye and holding my hand. I'd say I couldn't be prouder of her but that'd be a huge lie. She is constantly showing me and her dad how great a woman she is and will continue to be. As some of you know, we were thrown a curve ball almost 5 years ago with M but as I said 5 years ago, I'll say it again, Diabetes won't define who M is. She is everything I've ever wanted her to be and it had nothing to do with diabetes. K is a 7th grader and probably has a better social like than M and I combined. She still plays soccer. She still doesn't know when to shut up. She still tries to be the funniest person in the room even if that room isn't looking for a comedy act. (My dad is totally laughing at me right now because this description could've been my description 27 years ago) If there's one thing about K that is all hers, it's her dedication to whatever is put in her way and she's told she couldn't do it. I'll admit, I'm usually the one telling her she can't do it so I imagine it's her way to make mom wrong. She's proven me wrong a lot over the last couple of years. Guys, she placed 3rd place in the hurdles last week! Hurdles! She had been a forward in soccer since the age of 7 and this last season she tried out a defender position and freaking rocked! I love this about K though. She's never afraid to try new and scary stuff. This girl of ours isn't somebody you want to run into in a dark alley. She is a beast. My husband still works too much but that's not a complaint. As you can see, these girls are bleeding us dry and he adores his girls and loves to give them the things they need or want. Before anybody jumps on me and says we're raising spoiled brats, shut it. They're honor roll students. They won't be treated rough or differently until they prove they deserve that kind of treatment. Trust me, having a dad who is a police officer, isn't an easy ride. He automatically considers them guilty rather than being innocent. He is convinced that any day now we are going to be blindsided by a teenager. I'm also a little surprised how easy it's been so far. Don't tell him I said this but when my girls have made a mistake, I've buried it deep from him. Like when K broke her iPhone screen...for the 3rd time. Or the time K lost her soccer ball...while playing an actual game. Oh I got tons of these! It's just easier than letting him put his badge on and acting like a cop instead of "daddy." Okay, so, you've been caught up. I kinda want to keep up on this blog so hopefully I won't be doing this dance in another 3 years but if I do, hold the guilt trip and bite me. This girl has an 8-5 tomorrow. If I go to sleep now, I'll have about 7 hours of sleep. Just enough to be my sweet and fun loving self. If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.