I think they switched babies at the hospital.

When I was a kid, progress reports and report cards were torture for me. Why? Well, the amount of absences and my grades were going to tell my parents a very scary story about their daughter. Yesterday, I get the phone call from the school. No, not THAT phone call. The automated phone call alerting parents that their children received their progress reports. After hanging up the phone, I asked my daughter why she didn't give it to me.

My daughter always shoves her progress reports and report cards in my face! It's like the ultimate, "I'm so much better than you ever were!"

Would this be the moment when I would ::gulp:: and find out my daughter isn't as perfect as she strives to be?


Why didn't she excitedly run in, waving her achievement in my face?

Because she's getting an 87% in English! ::GASP::

I would've blown my English teacher to get an 87% in English....if my English teacher was a man.

Seeing the disappointment on her face, feeling the sadness that she isn't perfect left me feeling.....um.....er....well, I was proud of her. Jeez! It's a B+ and I was proud of her. Who's child is this?

I helped out E's mom today and pulled a Wednesday carpool. Enjoy!

Me: How'd everybody do on their progress reports?

M2: I got a 2 hour lecture because I'm failing English.

Me: You are failing English? (Yah, this is quite the shocker because M2 is a very smart and eloquent girl)

M2: Yah, I'm getting an 84%. (I officially want to strangle M2)

Me: Um, M2? That's not failing. I think that's great. Good job.

M2: Can we switch parents M? Thanks Miss Jean.

M (daughter): I'm failing too. I've got an 87%. I don't wanna be lectured for 2 hours.

Me: You two kill me. Those horrible 80%'s are B's ladies. You can bring them up to A's but don't knock em. B's are worthy grades too. Freaking nerds.

E: I'm getting a 71% in English.

Me: Well, that's a C....minus. What did your parents say to you?

E: Um, try to get that grade up?

Me: What's up with the C minus though?

E: Well, unlike the two drama queens in the car.....I am NOT a nerd.

Ya gotta love E! He is probably my son in another life because this daughter of mine....just can't be mine.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


  1. I would have run an icepick through my face if I'd gotten a B in an English class. Math class would be OK because I suck at that fancy math stuff.

  2. English teachers didn't "get" me and all my fancy writing. I always got off on the "meaning" of certain stories when in all honesty, all they wanted was a freakng beginning, a middle and an end. Go freaking figure! :)