Mondays

So it's Monday and my Mondays aren't like most Mondays. I don't work so I never get the Monday blues but I do have to drag my ass out of bed to take the girls to school. That bites but if that's the only thing I can complain about...nobody is going to pity me.

So after my writer's net peeps obliterated my dreams of having the perfect synopsis and then my mother comes over with my synopsis completely blacked out with ink...okay, I'll admit it, it sucked. So I rewrote it today and I think it's a thousand times better. I actually did take those assholes from writers.net seriously and followed some of their advice...and don't tell her but my mom totally rocked with her edits too! Did I repost on writers.net? Hell no! I can't take anymore criticism from strangers...I did however sent it to my mommy though!

Do you know what else Monday brings me? Silence. The kids are at school and the sounds of a clicking keyboard are like heaven to me. Occasionally, it'll get so silent that I'll have to put my iPod on and listen to some Metallica but today is not one of those days. Today, it's silent. And I love it. The synopsis is done in my mind, at least until my mommy calls but it's done for at least a couple more hours. Oh and except for the occasional text message ring from my phone, I can almost hear an agent out there saying to her/himself, "Am I ever going to get a book about some typical, unhappy, whore housewife? I can sell that kind of book!"

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

Why am I surprised?

I belong to this writers group of assholes. Yeah, I said it. They're assholes. What makes them assholes? Well sadly, they're like me. They are brutally honest and never think anything is close to perfect. And this is the society we live in where if you say something is perfect...there is no room to improve. Okay, that's fair but come on, can't you give a girl a dog treat some time?

So I finally write this synopsis of crap. I rewrite it. Oh and did I mention that I rewrite it again! Yep! I had to skimp on the rules too. The margins are exactly 1 inch. The title is in there as a header so as not to take a line away from me. Oh and instead of double-spacing, I space and a halfed it. (Watch the news on May 28th cause if they disqualify me for that, I'm calling in a bomb threat!) Okay, so then I go to my writer's website. www.writers.net I copy and paste. I type out the rules and submit. I swear I had a heart palpitation when I pressed the post button. I don't even think I even asked a question...I just posted it. They know what I'm posting for. I can literally hear their drool hit the floor from the salivation to rip another unpublished writer to shreds. Okay, so I go back and look at my post and reread it. Cause god help me if I ever had a misspelled word in there! I read it, I make sure the synopsis is in bold and for good measure, I read it again. It's CRAP! I mean seriously, how can you write about something with overflowing information, pick and choose the main plot lines and NOT sound "cluttered," "piddily," "cliche" or "flat?"

Oh and in case you didn't catch it...those words in quotes are what the assholes used when describing my synopsis. And what did I do? I thanked them for their honesty and kindly asked for more emotional beating. Well, I gotta go bend over again...I'm back to the synopsis tomorrow. Lord help me and remind me when I'm published to go back to that site and give them a good old fashioned, "Nanny, nanny, boo-boo!"

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.