This is Why.

Happy Memorial Day! Since I am married to a Marine, I have the honor of knowing a lot of brave people that fight for our country. Thank you!

Being Monday, I should be at work but being a holiday, some other poor soul is at work. I was supposed to work tomorrow but my boss, Dennis Hopper, gave me the day off to continue to acclimate with M. I feel a teeny bit bad calling him Dennis Hopper....just a teeny bit. ;) There are only three more school days left so this week marks how next year for school, and every year thereafter will be. I have to put my trust in people to make sure my daughter is safe while she's away. My friend said it must feel like Kindergarten. It is EXACTLY like Kindergarten! I'm trying very hard not to baby M or make her feel like she's precious cargo. That is very hard to do but I'm getting it.

She still has to clean her room. Oh and guess what? She still bitches about it like she did before.

She still has to be nice to her sister. Oh and guess what? They still argue like little whiny bitches whenever they get a minute.

There were moments last week where I lost myself for a bit. I didn't feel like I'd ever be the same. I mean, how could I? My heart is broken and my head is always buzzing. But three days at home made me realize some things.

All I heard last week was diabetes doesn't end your life or it's dreams. Oh yah? Nowhere in mine or M's dreams did she have diabetes and have to inject insulin into her body four times a day. And I know why they did it. They don't want you to stop living just because you have diabetes. It's a sweet sentiment and to a kid, I bet it's a welcome statement. To a parent, whenever I heard it, I wanted to kick someone's ass. I didn't though. I just nodded my head and hoped M was listening.

You see, at first, all I could think about was the future. The long road ahead. My head was buzzing with things we had to do and wonders of how we would do it. My husband (the asshole) was doing the same thing but instead of wondering, he was basically saying, we've got stuff to do, this isn't gonna work. In my opinion, we kind of complimented each other in our way of thinking. We kind of met each other in the middle because the middle was where we were supposed to be. The middle was the present moment. No thoughts of anything but the task at hand. The moment. M was our moment. All that mattered was M and how to get her through this moment.

And finally, in a weird way, this couldn't have happened to a better kid. I know kids are resilient but M displayed bravery and strength that even inspired me. And with that, I also have to add that it couldn't have happened to better parents either. When things got too heavy or somber, I always had to lighten the mood. (I knew that quality would come in handy one of these days!) I even discovered that M has a knack for the inappropriate jokes. I'm not going to be the type of person that stops living because it's safer. I don't want to hold M back from anything. I never want M to feel that she's ruined things because it's not easy to have fun anymore with four times a day testing and injections. My husband is the organizer. He was made for this. His OCD of placing things in the exact place and knowing it was moved is going to pay off. And K, she is here to remind M that life didn't stop or change. She's still gonna bug the shit out of her!

We were made for this. We got this.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and my last carpool. It will be a somber day. 1) Because I'll have to say goodbye to carpool convos for awhile. 2) Because I'm giving my daughter to the school and trusting they won't kill her. :) Just kidding, they're actually trained professionals....it's me and daddy that y'all have to worry about killing her. Have a great Monday!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I promise....

...to not turn this blog into a diabetic diary. Yah, it's going to be mine and my daughter's life but as I've heard over and over this week, "Your dreams don't end with diabetes," my blog will still be here for me to vent my frustrations. And holy shit, do I have some frustrations!

Today's is a little late and I apologize. M came home today. I am somewhat happy and scared to have her home. I stated on my Facebook status update that I was the proud owner of a diabetic but with that comes my fear. I am responsible for her health now. Wasn't I responsible for it before? Well, yes, but now I can seriously do some damage. That scares the shit out of me. Any glitch and I am personally responsible for quite possibly damaging this little one. Oh the pressure!

She looks great! It's amazing how "well" she looks now. With the medicine, I actually could see how sick she looked before. Her little pot belly is coming back. Her cheeks are puffing out a bit. Her tiny little double chin in starting to peek out. I kind of missed her and it's nice to have her back.

Okay, lemme tell you how proud of her I am. She is so brave. While I teared up with every milestone of this disease, she just shrugged her shoulders and got over it. Her main complaint was being hungry. She had a hamburger and onion rings at almost every meal. Diabetes isn't about not eating, lemme tell ya! And thank the lord because this girl can eat! With my pride of how brave she is, I was also privileged to witness how strong she was. Here ya go people, take a glimpse and let her inspire you.

M (daughter): Can we go to the gift shop?

Me: Sure but I ain't got any money.

M (daughter): Not even for your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter???

Me: Not even for her sweetie, but I sure do love my diabetic daughter and how she's already using the system of guilt on me.

Our friend brought her over a gift tonight and the gift was earrings. They were beautiful but M doesn't have pierced ears.

Me: It's okay M, we can exchange em for maybe a necklace.

Husband: Oh, they for pierced ears?

M (daughter): Yah.

Husband: Well since you're not playing soccer anymore you can get em pierced.

M (daughter): That wasn't why I didn't have em pierced dad. I was scared of the needle. I guess that excuse goes out the window now....insulin shot anyone?

And finally.

Me: I gotta go pick up your prescriptions. Try to drink that Dr. Pepper please.

M (daughter): How much did it cost?

Me: You don't wanna know.

M (daughter): Sure I do, how much?

Me: $244 and some change.

M (daughter): Sorry about that mom.

Me: What are you sorry about? That doesn't even compare to the thousands of dollars these past 3 days are gonna cost us!

M (daughter): The food was good though.

Me: And I got you home safe and sound. I would've spent a million dollars for that.

M (daughter): Ohhhhhhhh, I think I need my blood sugar checked....Ima vomit!

I hope your Friday was as good as mine was. I got my baby girl home and that was the best part of this week. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Well....what do I say?

My daughter, M, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes yesterday. I suspected it for a couple weeks now. That's not hard to admit. What is hard to admit is I was waiting until I was ready to face it instead of getting her the help she needed. :(

They admitted her immediately and transported her by ambulance to Children's Dallas. She's being very brave. She's hydrated and they're sticking her with insulin to regulate her blood sugar.

I still haven't had my moment. I was talking to someone last night and said, "I'm not ready yet. If I start to cry, it'll be too real." The reply? "Jeannie, it's already real. You have no problem speaking your thoughts....let go and let your heart speak for a change." You would've thought that would've broke me, but it didn't. I'm still trying to keep it together. I can't lose it. I just can't. That someone doesn't read my blog but I just wanted to say, I will, I promise, just not right now.

Here are some quotes from my 12 year old yesterday and some talks we had throughout the long day in the hospital.

Me: I'm so sorry.

M: Is it bad?

Me: No, but it changes everything.

M: Oh mom, it could be Cancer. I can deal with a little change.

Check her out! She's like me with her positive outlook....where the hell did mine go?

M: Diet soda?

Me: Yep!

M: Gross.

Me: Oh sweetie, do you know how hot your momma is gonna be with your new diet?

M: Yah, people are gonna ask you your secret and you can do your pose and tell em, my daughter got diabetes.

Me: Yep!

I hope everybody Thursday is good. Today is going to be information overload for both M and I. The good news is they won't let us leave the hospital without knowing everything there is to know about diabetes. I feel very comfortable knowing that. I just wish we were doing it for knowledge. I know this isn't the end of the world, I just wish it wasn't M's world now.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Double the worry....cue the boogyman.

So today is Wednesday...Hump Day. My favorite day of the week. Today? Yah, it ain't treating me so well today.

Here's a pretty picture of what today is starting out with. My father-in-law is preparing for surgery today and tomorrow. We are kind of worried but we're not really talking about it. Avoidance has always been our forte in the Bonifacio household.

Avoidance. It should be my middle name.

For about two months now, my oldest daughter M has grown 3 inches and shrank to an annoying 75lbs. Yah, I'd give anything for her metabolism but I'm not 12. I've attributed it to puberty and hormones but something else has been going on that I've.....um....avoided. My procrastination was to wait until school was out but she was dizzy and weak this morning so today is the day. So now we've got two crisis to deal with until all the answers are given.

And whether my knack for avoidance or procrastination denies me for the 12th year in a row the award of Mother of the Year....then so be it. I can handle any crisis you throw at me after about 5 minutes of hysterics. That's all I need is 5 minutes and then it's done and over. I'm ready to handle the crisis. You give me that 5 minutes and when it's done, I'll hold you up, hand you tissues and take charge. I haven't been given my 5 minutes today yet. I've never had 2 things to worry about. Does that mean I need 10 minutes or am I just screwed?

Bottom line? I may need a shoulder later. I may need someone to slap me. I may need to just curl up in a ball and cry until there are no more tears.

My true bottom line? I'm not going to ask for any of those things. I am the strong one here. I am the one that never loses it. I am the one person that can't do any of those things.

At least not this week. Maybe next week. Have a great Hump Day people. Mine is barely getting started and I can't wait until Thursday already.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Silence is Never Golden.

Yah, I know I switched it up a bit but it's true. In my Thir-thir-thirty five years of living, I've learned that a silent companion is a bad companion. Now don't get me wrong, there have been moments when I wanted to shut up the non-silent companions with a tube sock in the mouth but I'd rather they talk than be silent. Oh and if I'm being silent? Yah....ya better check the rat poison cause I'm prolly pissed off. A silent Jeanie is a very dangerous Jeanie.

Silence to me is too much time to think. Too much time to think isn't always a good thing. Over-thinking is very bad. Especially if your a dude. Dudes are rarely given the benefit for thinking at all but I think dudes are the worst in the thinking category. Women think but then it's done and over with. We've laid out our plans and gone on with life. Dudes can never let anything rest.

Tell me this? How are these humans I've aptly named dudes, the superior species? Annoying, isn't it?

I've discovered a catch phrase that I use quite often. "Get over it!" I say it to my daughter, M, all the time. She got into a fight last night with my husband, her daddy. Oh it was a doozy. M mouthed off to her dad and her dad went off! I have to admit, M deserved it. No 12 year old should talk like that to an adult. And trust me, you don't talk like that to my husband, the asshole. I've mentioned before that it's always a battle of wits and pride with that man. Add the fact that a 12 year old had backed him in the corner? Freaking mayhem. The sad thing is, my daughter has the same kind of attitude problem as my husband. She's stubborn and by god, she isn't going to admit it. Welcome to my life people....I gave birth to a female asshole. At the end of the day though, all I want to say and all I can say is, "Get over it!"

Because truly, get over it! Like last night, something highly annoying was...well, annoying me. Oh it was pathetic and ridiculous but it was really annoying me. This morning....okay, I'll admit, it's still annoying me but I'm gonna take my own advice and get over it. Trust me, I'm so much smarter than to let something pathetic and ridiculous annoy me more than a couple days. It's not worth my time. See? We truly are the superior species here. :)

Tuesday Carpool was a little somber today. It's almost over guys and we're all getting a little sad.

E was especially quiet this morning and I finally broached the subject.

Me: What's up E? You're so quiet.

E: I'm a little worried about something.

Me: Worried about what? You're 12.

E: I'm worried about my surgery.

Everybody: SURGERY???

Me: Surgery for what sweetie?

E: Um....er....::blushing::

Me: Oh jeez, you're gonna make me drag it out of you, aren't you?

E: I don't know how to explain it.

Me: Are you getting your tonsils taken out?

E: Nope.

Me: Adenoids?

E: Nope.

Me: Hair transplant?

E: Aim lower.

Me: Appendix?

E: ::blushing:: Lower.

Me: Um....er....your "no-no" box? ::snort::

E: Yes! I told M about it.

M (daughter): No you didn't! I would've remembered a conversation we had about you and your "no-no" square.

Me: Oh shit, that description keeps getting funnier and funnier. "No-no" square?

E: I did too tell you. Nice to know, my impending death by surgery wasn't anything for you to pay attention to.

M (daughter): E, I swear, I don't think you told me.

E: I did, now can we just drop it?

Me: Consider it dropped....wait....is that why you're having surgery? Something didn't "drop?"

E: ::groan:: This is going down as my worst day EVER!

Me: Oh sweetie, you're going to be fine. How many times have I opened the door practically half dressed? How many times have I embarrassed myself in front of you? You'd need like 15 hands to count that. We're all friends here. You're going to be fine. When's your surgery?

E: July 16th.

Me: That's the day after my birthday!

M2: My birthday is July 12th!

Me: July birthdays ROCK!

E: Girls suck.

And see?! The girls in the car moved one. "Got over it," so to speak. Ethan didn't. Dudes....they're all the same.

Have a great Tuesday! I'm off for three days and it's a wonderful thing!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.



Okay, before y'all think that I'm going to dedicate this blog today to LOST, I'm not. I will say that when it ended, I still had questions but when I woke up this morning, I got it. They were all dead from season one and it took all these seasons for them to get out of purgatory. Oh yah people, it was like finding Bobby Ewing in the shower but it was nice to see everybody again.


Today, I woke up wishing today was over already. I have to work but then I've got three days off. Can't. Freaking. Wait. M has a choir performance tomorrow. It's gonna be great having her show her dad and my parents what I've seen already. It also marks 2 more weeks until school is over. I can't wait. Letting the girls sleep in and not worrying about getting them off to school is my favorite thing about summer. My girls are so self-maintainence that summer is so easy. My husband is also changing shift back to patrol in July so he'll be home all day and gone all night. Life is either going to be easy or hard....I'll let you know in July how I like this. I have a feeling my husband is going to be a happier police officer so that's really all that matters but I reserve the right to change my mind.

Weekend recap. Just another lazy weekend. M had a physical for 7th grade sports. She passed. Conrad signed his lease for hunting season. K proved her skills as an independent swimmer by jumping in the deep end to my hysterical fear and swam across the pool with no help. How'd that happen? She's never had a swimming lesson in her life. M is doing a math project for school. She had to interview a professional and prove that math really is used throughout your life. Remember when we were kids taking algebra saying, "I'm never gonna use this!" Well crap, I just got proved wrong because as a pharmacy technician....I kinda do sometimes.

Anyway, I snooped on her report and came across what she wrote. "My mom as a CPhT can make up to $15 an hour. That's awesome because that means my mom makes $30 a week because she works 2 days a week. You don't have to go to college to be a CPhT so that's a pretty good chunk of change."

Oh jeez, I make more than $30 a week. I work 2 days but way more hours than 2.

I told her and her response? "I already typed and printed it. Just let it be."

Oh crap, I don't want people thinking I only make $30 a week. Is that vain? Yah, I made her change it. :)

K was her usual funny self. There have been a lot of questions as to if I've always been funny. I think I have but as I've mentioned before....nobody in my family ever thought I was. I've also mentioned that K is my mini-me. Here's a virtual rewind button of how I used to be. I'm not quite sure if I should be a proud parent or scared shitless.

So what do you think? Yah....I know....I'm screwed. :) Have a great Monday! It'll be over before you know it and let's hope we don't wake up on an island which is really purgatory. Cause THAT would really suck!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


I'm green and I don't like it.

I've never been one to be jealous. I think it's a useless emotion. I guess it all started in high school but jealousy has always had a hard time biting me. I had a friend that was prettier than me but I wasn't jealous. Why? Well, I may not have been the "prettiest" one in the group but I did bring something to the table that outshined everybody. My sister was smarter than me. I "might" have been jealous with that one but I sure didn't do anything to remedy it. I just continued to be me and came out alright.

I don't look at other people's lives and turn green with envy wishing I had what they had. Trust me, they probably worked really hard to get it and I don't really like working that hard. I've always been the type of girl that rolls with the punches and just believes that something good will come my way. It usually does too.

I was never jealous of my husband and attention some skank may be giving him. She's a skank. Why would I be jealous of a skank? When good things happen to my friends, I'm always the first one thinking that they deserve it.

See? I don't get jealous. It's useless with me.

Today is Friday though. I have to go to work. My husband took the day off because our children have off from school.

I. Am. Jealous.

Now don't get me wrong. It'll probably be on the Hunting Channel all day long. He's probably going to obliterate the house and throw away things he shouldn't throw away. He might do the yard or he might wash the car. I'm not jealous of THAT. I'm merely jealous that I had to hear the alarm this morning and get off my lazy ass and get ready for work.

I'm still somewhat recovering from the stomach alien that nested in my belly on Wednesday that I spewed out in the toilet. My morning consisted of showering and putting my curly hair (because I'm too lazy to straighten it) in a clip. I look like a librarian with my frizzy curls peeking out from the clip. Oh yah, I'm a dreamgirl right now. I would've much rather punched that alarm clock with my fist, roll over and zonk out again. Didn't happen though.

I get to work with Pop Quiz Asshole again today. Joy! :)

This weekend consists of near to nothing. M has a physical for sports next year in 7th grade. It's at 9:30am. Gahhhhhhd! Hello? It's Saturday! My husband is driving to his new deer lease while I'm doing the physical stuff to sign the paperwork and install some cameras.

I'm soooooooooooo glad I have to take M to her physical. Cause I AIN'T involving myself in this deer land lease. Have a fantastic Friday people. It'll be over soon....right?

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Work Ethics

Here's mine. Do you do the same thing?

1) Unless you're dead, you don't call in sick.

Now this goes with some rules. I don't think people that call in sick are losers. I just think if you overdo the calling in sick, it's kind of annoying. Oh and if it's because of a migraine....yah, I've never had one so I just think it a headache.

2) Know your schedule.

This means know everybodys schedule. Nine time out of ten, you're gonna know who these people are and how unavailable they are. If you're covering for someone, don't expect any paybacks. You are getting paid to cover for this person. You aren't doing it for free. There is no payback. You'll get your payback in the form of a check.

3) Pay attention.

This is kind of like knowing the schedule. Listen to the quips here and there. Nine times out of ten, they're talking shit behind your back. Now here's where it pays off. Don't react immediately. Save it for a rainy day and then unleash the fury. They'll never know what hit em.

4) Wear your name tag just above your boob.

Well, cause customers love it. Yah, I went there.

5) Don't be afraid to admit to your boss that you like the job.

It's not going to hurt you but right after saying it, make sure you add that you're not fitting in with the sorority of the other techs. Oh yes people, I said it. The other techs are getting on my freaking nerves sometimes but refer to rule number 3. Hold it because there is a fury coming and it will be big.

6) Finally, when walking into work, put mass amounts of chapstick on.

It works when you want to bite somebodys head off. With chapstick on, you're more prone to smoothing your lips together while exacting your revenge later.

These are so far my work ethics. I reserve the right to add on. Because trust me, these people are like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I can't quite figure out whether to stake em with my words and stab em with my wrath.

Have a great Thursday! Good news! Tomorrow is Friday and I get to work with pop quiz guy. Woot! :/

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Not Today Please.

Not really feeling well today. I knew it was happening last night when I felt tired at 9pm but by this morning, I was hit with a truck.

Husband: What's the matter with you?

Me: ::mumble:: I feel like shit.

Husband: What feels like shit?

Me: You name it, it hurts. Just leave me alone, your voice isn't helping.

Husband: Well somebody needs to wake up in a better mood.

Now here's where I don't get men. Yah, I was rude but I'd already explained that I didn't feel good. I told him to leave me alone. Where in there does it say to get butt-hurt because I asked him to leave me alone? This is my life. It's a constant battle of wits and pride. I hate it. Because he felt pushed into feeling like I just beat his pride with a bat, he took it upon himself to continue the 3rd inquisition.

Me: Why do I need to wake up in a better mood? I feel like shit. Could you just make sure M is up and getting ready for school before you leave?

Husband: You can't even get up and do that?

Me: Sure I can, continue being an asshole....I got this.

By this time, I'm attempting to roll out of my blankets and a wave of nausea hits me. (No, I'm not pregnant.) So I lay back down to try to let it pass.

Me: ::mumbling:: I'm gonna throw up. Please don't talk.

Husband: Oh so now I can't even talk?

Now, I'm not even sure what I did next but it involved frantically crawling to the bathroom. The rest should be assumed. And here is why my husband is lucky I didn't feel well enough to kill him this morning.

Husband: Did you just puke?

Me: ::groaning:: Mmmmm hmmmmm.

Husband: Did you?

Me: ::sigh:: YES!

Husband: Why'd you puke?

Me: ::silence::

Oh. My. God. How the hell should I know why I puked? There's a stomach virus going around. Maybe it was the 3 Cokes I drank last night before bed. But seriously, what kind of a stupid question is that? All I'm thinking at this point is when this puking episode is done, I'm gonna kill him.

Husband: Jean, are you okay?

Me: Yes, could you just leave me alone? I'll call you later.

Husband: What's your problem?

Now here is where my head explodes. What's my problem? Well jeez Sherlock, what do you think?

Me: Have a good day at work. (I turn the bathroom fan on and drown out anything else he has to say.)

Yah, I'm not feeling well today and it ain't getting better. This tirade on this here blog has taken way longer than it needed to take because of some pit stops back in the bathroom. Oh and the text I just received from my husband?

Husband (text): Why'd you puke this morning?

I haven't replied. I'm too busy trying exact my revenge on him later for being a clueless man. I hope every body's Wednesday is better than mine.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


If Life were a Lollypop.

So I bought this giant bag of Dum-Dums yesterday and pretty much devoured the entire bag in less than 3 hours. And hush, I shared....a couple. My tastes for certain flavors are strange. I can switch from butterscotch to fruit flavor with a flick of the tongue. I don't really care because I love my lollipops.

That is the epitome of me though. I'm not really choosy. I'm happy most of the time with whatever you throw at me and if it's a lollipop, I'm a very happy girl. When bad things happen, yah, it sucks but if there isn't anything you can do about it, what's the point of dwelling of it?

So last night after leaving the soccer game of Cops vs. Didn't know they were playing cops, my husband's take-home car went kaput. We were in Richardson on a side road. What does this mean? Well according to my husband, it's the end of the world. He's gotta use his own car and his own gas money. Yah, it sucks. That's going to add on at least $125 a week in gas money for us. Oh and his truck needs new tires before he gets his expired inspection sticker updated. We're looking at $500 in new tires. Yah, like I admitted, it sucks.

But! Here is where it's good to be with me. Now my husband bitched and moaned for like 2 hours. I probably had a sour face for about 10 minutes. Was there anything we could do differently? Nope. Were we on the freeway when the car went kaput? Nope. Do we have a car that he can use? Yep. And finally, get over it dude, it's freaking done. I mean jeez, would you rather be pissed off or just deal with it? Now my husband would probably say he would want to bitch about it but you can't be that way around me. One, because I'm not gonna let you. Two, because I'm gonna tell you to shut up because I'm tired of hearing you bitch and moan. Seriously, get over it!

So as me and the girls got a ride home in a cop car by one of our favorite officers, I managed to finish off my bag of Dum-Dums. The last flavor? Mystery. To this day, I have never hated the mystery flavor. It's never been a coconut or a chocolate one. (Which I think are the worst ideas for lollipop flavors) And that was my epiphany. Life is like a mystery lollipop. You never know what you're gonna get. But when you stick that candy delight in your mouth, it's done. There's no turning back. You're going to either be surprised or satisfied but anyway you look at it, there will always be another lollipop.

So suck it up. Life sucks sometimes but there is always going to be a little mystery and adventure to keep your taste buds excited.

Tuesday Carpool.

E: I'm finally getting my own room.

Me: How's that gonna happen?

E: My dad is giving me his office.

Me: Oh, bachelor pad.

E: Hold it, they're painting it baby blue.

Me: Oh, um.....if it's your room, why are they painting it baby blue?

E: That was the deal.

Me: You got screwed.

E: Hi, have we met...I always get screwed.

M (daughter): One word. Posters.

E: M? You really want me to get my butt kicked, don't you?

Me: Boys can't do posters anymore? No Farrah Fawcett or Cindy Crawford?

E: Who?

God, I need a lollypop. I'm getting OLD! Have a nice Tuesday!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


My Weekend of Nothingness and Everything.

This is gonna be a short one because I can't imagine it being very long. This weekend was probably one of the greatest weekends in awhile. No, it wasn't because my husband was working the entire weekend and I saw him for like 3 total hours. Kinda missed him actually. Missed him enough to visit him a few times while he worked overtime at the Wildflower festival. Saw him in the shorts they issue police officers for hot weather. Highlight of that hour I tell ya. :)

Anyway, I went to Borders on Saturday to get the autograph of my favorite author, Charlaine Harris. She writes vampire books. Now all of you know, I write. I don't write about vampires. I couldn't if I tried. It's more of a brain vacation when I read my vampire books. I don't want to write about something that I couldn't do justice. I just want to read a good fluff that makes me smile.

If I could have one wish it would be to be that author that everybody woke up early to see. I want people to hang on my every word. I want people to ask me questions about how I do what I do. I've never been one of those people that follow stars around like puppy dogs. I dabble in Twitter and follow agents but I don't kiss their ass like some of the other people on Twitter do. I just don't want to be that person. I've actually never been that person. The old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets oiled...or lubricated." I am not, nor will I ever be a squeaky wheel. If I am ever going to be a published author, it will be because I did it the hard way. The way most published authors did it.

Is that naive?

Probably. But that's just me. I won't apologize because I don't follow the ass-kissing line or do things the easy way. So did I say to Charlaine Harris that I was an unpublished author and really wanted to be her one day?

Nope. I said thank you and walked my weary way with my signed books. Because I will be her one day even if I'm old and senile. It will happen and it will happen because I did it the hard way.

Have a fantastic Monday....it'll be over soon. Or at least it's started so now all it needs to do is end. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


It was a Sad Goodbye....to Friday carpool.

I still have two more Tuesday carpools but today marked my last Friday carpool. Granted, I'm probably going to see E everyday this summer but even though M2 just lives down the street, I probably won't see her. Yes, it was a sad realization. I'm gonna miss those three little boogers to brighten up my every three Fridays.

Me: Hey yo M2!

M2: Hello!

Me: Any plans this weekend?

M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.

Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?

M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.

Me: There's the spirit.

::Ethan gets in the car::

Me: Hey yo E!

E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.

M2: What are you doing this weekend?

E: Nothing exciting.

M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?

E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.

Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.

E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.

Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.

Boogers: What?

Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.

M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.

E: And you dressed for the occasion too.

Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.

E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.

M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.

M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.

E: I love summertime.

Me: Me too.

M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.

Me: What time is swim team?

E: 5:30am.

Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!

Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.

Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


My Theme Song

Crazy Bitch by Buck cherry. Oh yah, if I died tomorrow, it would play at my funeral as they carried my casket down the aisle. Then everybody would cry because....well, hello! I'm dead. And as they carried my casket back down the aisle, they would play it again. Cause that's how I roll.

Okay, now that that's over. What would your theme song? Would it be sad and sappy? Every funeral I've ever been to, the consensus has been to celebrate the life instead of mourning the loss. Well no shit but what about the next day when the reality of the loss hits you again. I always get hit with the realization that I can't just pick up a phone and say hi. That's what has hurt the most when I lost someone special.


It doesn't have to be a death but in a sense, when you lose someone whether it be to circumstances or because there wasn't any room in your life anymore for that person, it still feels like a death. I don't handle loss very well. It's hard for me to let go of people that have been intricate parts of my life. I fight tooth and nail to keep them close until it's dead and black. When in reality, I should've said goodbye way before the blackness and death happened. Maybe better things might've happened if I had.

I've reconnected with so many people I thought I lost. About 90% of them are great reconnections but the other 10%? Yah, shoulda just kept on walking and never said hi. They were probably toxic before which is why they're still toxic to me. Oh and I'm not stupid enough to realize that I was probably toxic to them as well. Some people shouldn't be together when it starts to sour. Some people shoulda kept walking...shit, they shoulda ran as fast as their feet could take em.

But don't you agree that the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" of life is too tempting NOT to explore? Why do we do this to ourselves? I've never been a person that regrets anything in my life. I don't even like to use the word mistake very much either. Those two words basically mean the same thing if you think of it. But what do you call it when you wish you woulda just kept walking?

An oversight of being a stupid and dreamy female?

What if that oversight ended up hurting the other person too?

Even worse, what if the other person is happy you didn't keep walking?

Oh, I'm all over the place on this, aren't I?

Okay, changing the subject. I'm going back "home" with my family for a visit with family. My father-in-law isn't healthy and when I visited before, something told me to convince my husband to visit. That "something" was correct as he isn't doing so well. All I can hope is the procedures and surgeries being preformed on him prior to our visit fix him and he's good when we get there. I have every hope and prayer (allowable to a non-church girl) that this will be a happy visit. I also have a fear from past experiences that our time is short and our good intentions of visiting will be too little, too late. I was never a fan of my father-in-law. He was mean and nasty to everybody. In his old age, the miracle of medication has changed that. My father-in-law has always loved me from day one. He calls me "Gina." One, because he says it's his name for me and nobody elses. Two, because I swear, he doesn't know my name isn't "Gina." :)

Hold on "Dad," we'll be there soon. "Crazy Bitch" is coming home and bringing your son with her.

Happy Thursday! It's almost Friday.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


It Can't Get Better....Than This?

Have you ever woken up, looked around and thought, "Is this it?"

My friend did that and a year later, she was divorced. She's had her ups and downs after that day but I think she's happier for it. Her ex-husband isn't very nice to her. She always says that true stripes come out when times get tough. I think I 50% agree with her.

Look at it this way, sure he might be an asshole to her right now but she left him. Is he supposed to be all warm and gushy inside for her? Plus, he's a man and men aren't required to be nice to you if you've slapped them across the face with reality. Men aren't required to do anything actually.

I have never woken up and thought that though. Every day, there's always something new. I don't get tired of the mood swings from my tween. I don't tire from my youngests latest shenanigans. Oh and my husband is constantly changing. How could he not be surprising? He's a huntin' redneck Filipino.

I am also me. I try to find something every day to appreciate. In regards to my tween, I appreciate how she always says, "Hi mom, what did you do today?" Any tween interested in an adult always deserves a little appreciation. Regarding my little one, I appreciate how she'll always want a cuddle no matter who's looking. And finally, my redneck husband. I appreciate how he'll always argue with me about anything, no matter how wrong he is.

Him: Don't you think M is getting too skinny?

Me: I've taken a poll and the consensus is, she's fine.

Him: What's with the attitude?

Me: I don't have an attitude but it really bugs the shit out of me how if I had said M was getting too skinny, you would've told me I was being a worry wart and M was fine.

Him: So lemme get this. You're pissed that I took an interest and am concerned. That's selfish.

Me: Selfish? That makes no sense.

Him: It makes perfect sense. You want to be the concerned parent and if I try to be one, you don't like it.

Me: That's not being selfish.

Him: Yes it is. It makes perfect sense.

Me: In your world, do you always make sense? Cause in my world, you don't know bupkiss.

Him: Actually in my world, you apologize and admit you're wrong.

Me: Well luckily, I'm not in your world. It requires a warped sense of reality and balls the size of raisins. I have too big of balls to get into your world.

Him: See? Selfish.

Me: What? You wanna borrow my balls? Only if you promise to give em back.

Him: So you don't think M is too skinny?

Ah, never a dull moment I tell ya. Have a great Hump Day! I'm off to work today and really wish I was home napping.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Church Folk are Weird

Yah, I said it. The possibility that this statement will come back and haunt me at the Pearly Gates doesn't scare me. But seriously, church folk are weird.

It was carpool Tuesday today and our good girl M2 informed me that she was being punished. The conversation went on for the entire car ride so try to keep up.

M2: I got grounded.

Me: I'm shocked. What'd you do?

M2: I broke my commitment.

(I have to admit at first I thought it was a commitment to abstinence. My mind always goes to dirty.)

M2: I was up at 8:15pm when I should've been sleeping by 8pm.

Me: Did they beat you with flames and needles?

M2: They took my books away from me.

Me: What??!! So they....um....well that's just stoooopid. Church folk are weird.

E: Sing it Miss Jean! Oh and wear that tube top when you do it. Blue is definitely your color.

Me: Oh I'll do you one better. I'll wrap a rosary and use it for an ankle bracelet.

E: Seriously, I'm still mad about the airgun.

M2: What about the airgun?

E: Well, now D**** threatened to shoot my dad with his airgun.

Me: Why's he mad at you?

E: Cause my dad called his parents and told them they were illegal. Now D***** can't play with it either.

Me: So how's he gonna shoot your dad?

E: I don't know but I started laughing and told him that my dad has 911 on speed dial.

Me: Cause pressing 9-1-1 isn't fast enough?

M (daughter): Good one mom. E, your dad is crazy.

E: If church folk are weird, explain to us just how long K is grounded for?

Me: She's grounded until I say she isn't grounded.

M2: Ohhhhhh, what'd K do?

Me: Um....er....she called a boy g-a-y and kneed him in the....um...er....

E: The no-no box!

Me: ::snort:: The what box?

E: The no-no box. You know.

Me: Yah, I got it but why is it the "no-no box?"

E: I don't know, my mom and dad call it that.

M (daughter): I dare you to call it that to your friends.

E: No way.

Me: What do you call it in front of your friends?

E: We don't really talk about em.

Me: So, lemme get this straight. Your parents grounded you from books for reading 15 minutes past your bedtime....which in my opinion is way too early. And your parents have reinforced in that brain of yours that....um....er....that general area is a "no-no" box.

M (daughter): Mom, I love you.

Me: Yah, I don't ever wanna hear you say the words "not fair" come out of that mouth of yours. You could be M2 and E.

E: What's wrong with calling it the no-no box?

Me: Lemme put it this way. When you're older....you're gonna wanna change it to the yep-yep box. Your parents have basically, sub-consciously, made you think anything that has to do with...um....er....forget it.

E: No! What?

Me: How many carpools are left in the year?

M2: About 3?

Me: I'll tell you everything you two wanna know on my last carpool day.

And with that, I repeat....church folk are weird. I am convinced that I was put on this earth to fix the evils that they put upon their children.

Have a great Tuesday and have fun with your yep-yep boxes! :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


If Karma is a Bitch....Her Name Has to Be Jeanie.

Okay, I think I'm contradicting myself here. I've said that I don't believe in luck. I don't believe that life is out to get me. I do however believe that Karma is alive and well....living in TexASS.

Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.

My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.

Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.

This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.

I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.

K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?

Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.

M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.

Me: Well, did you clean your room?

K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.

M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.

Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?

M: I'll do it later.

K: I already cleaned mine.

M: Butt kisser.

K: Kettle!

Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)

M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?

Me: Is it annoying?

M: Very.

Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.

M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.

K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.

Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.

K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?

M: Neither, you're a dork.

Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.

And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

"I Had a Bad Dream"

Poor Katie. She sometimes has these dreams that are bad. They tear her apart and she falls to pieces. She is the biggest cuddle bug when it happens though so I don't mind being woken up at 3am with em.

I don't sleep like the dead. I'm a mom. Any sound I hear or "not-sound" I hear wakes me up and prevents me from relaxing until I find the culprit of what woke me up. When my husband used to come home late from work, he'd try so hard to creep in like a ninja but every time, I'd wake up.


Katie suffers from the dream that we all know about. The dream we've been having over and over. It pops up like an old friend and you've had it so many times, you know it's a dream but you still dream like it's real. My dream is always about a house I grew up in in Florida. I wasn't there for very long but that is always my setting. I'm looking for something and I have to find it before the bad man gets it. The bad man is after me too. I still have no clue what I'm looking for and what's going to happen when I find it.

Katie dreams about falling through ice. She can't get out and there's this girl in the ice that keeps her from getting out. Her daddy always saves her. I'm there too but I'm too worried about getting my hair wet to save her. When she wakes up from this dream, she's breathless and she's very mad at me. I always have to convince her that I really would save her. I wouldn't worry about my hair and I'd be the first one in the ice to get her. It takes about an hour to calm her down. When she finally begins to drift off to sleep, she says, "You really do have pretty hair."

God, you could bottle her cuteness and sell it for a million dollars I tell ya!

Lately, I've been dreaming of Facebook. It's so ridiculous. I read imaginary emails. I get imaginary friend requests. Yah, me thinks I'm spending way too much time on Facebook. There is one thing I have to admit though. When I wake up from my Facebook dream, I always feel like I really did reconnect with whoever sent me the imaginary email. I know....I need medication. Gimme a break, my life is boring and I like it that way. I have my schedule to abide by. I have my appointments that I keep. And most of all, there is always a beer waiting for me in the fridge.

It's Friday today! I'm probably working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I also think we are going to have an influx of technicians at 1:30pm. Too many technicians mean I am usually annoyed very easily. It's not that big of a place to cram "know-it-alls" in one place. But I will prevail. There are no soccer games this weekend. My husband is checking out some land for his 2010 hunting lease. I am desperately in need of a grocery trip. My oldest has been in a bad mood for about a week now. My youngest is still grounded. See?

Boring. :) Have a great day!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


All He Wanted....Was Me.

Have you ever known someone that knew all your dark secrets and still loved you at the end of the day?

It could be your spouse. It could be your friend. It could be a member of your immediate family. But to be loved so completely and known?

I have.

It didn't happen until after high school. I had lived such a good life so far. I had come into my own. I had become the type of girl that I wanted to be for the rest of my life. I wasn't someone to be pushed around. I thought I knew everything there needed to be known about me.

I was wrong.

What I didn't know was I was interesting. I was deep. There was so much more to me than what was on the surface. I cried when I laughed and it was adorable. When I was afraid of something, all I needed was somebody to hold my hand and go with me. I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.

What might be surprising to some people, this wasn't discovered because of the love of my husband (the asshole). It was discovered because of a man that loved me and let me go. Why did he let me go? Because he was smart. :)

But at the end of the day, I am only adorable, exhaustible and conquering because of this man. He is why I smile a sly smile once a day. It's a smile that's private. It's a smile that's ours. Thank you.

Does this discovery make me tragic? It's only tragic if I can't honor him and who he loves. It's only tragic if I can't admit that what I am is who I will always be because of him. Do I give credit to my husband? Well shit, of course I do. He's had to put up with me for way too long NOT to get credit. He is the unknown hero here.

He has held my hand when I needed it held.

He has picked me up when I've fallen.

He has tried to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.

But at the end of the day, I am only me because of who I've allowed in my heart. It's those people that I honor and thank. Thank you.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow I will still wake up and be exactly who I've always been. Just a girl that can make it through any day, no matter how shitty it was, with a smile and a moment to be thankful for.

I'm calling it....it's done. :)

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


A Memory and Another Clue

Over the past couple of days, I've given some examples of some people that are in my life that make me who I am. Today, I'm going to share a memory, a moment, a day that changed my life forever. As usual, I'm going to initial the name to protect the azzhole. :)

It was my Sophomore year. I had been going out with my husband for a couple months. We were still brand new but a couple months in teen-land is like an eternity. I remember it like it was yesterday. A popular guy. A guy that everybody wanted had finally began to act "interested" in me. The only problem? I had a boyfriend. What did I do?

No brainer! I broke up with my boyfriend dammit! I had my eye on this popular guy for over a year and by god, if he was interested...so was I.

Was it true love? Did we bask in our love? Hell no. I'll tell ya, it was anything BUT! J (popular guy) seemed surprised that I would break up with my boyfriend for him. Was he honored? (Imagine me pigsnorting right now)

J (popular guy): I'm not ready for a relationship. I thought we could just mess around.

My response went something like this: You're kidding right? You'll never have me. You lost your chance.

And that was the day that I went from innocent, trusting Jeanie to bitchy, demands respect Jean. I could feel a switch inside me flip. I knew from that moment for the rest of my life, I would NEVER be someone that just got messed around with. I would be respected. If I wasn't, I would walk away without ever looking back. I've stuck to that rule since that day. I've broken quite a few hearts. I've broken quite a few spirits as well.

I can give him credit for creating this person I am. I wouldn't change it for a million dollars. I can see moments thereafter that would've broken me if it weren't for J (popular guy). Thanks azzhole!

Most of you old high school friends might take a guess at who J (popular guy) was. I've mentioned the story before and did include the name. I need to clarify though. I have no hard feelings. I don't harbor murderous thoughts toward him. The remainder of my high school with J (popular guy) was uneventful. We became friends. It was almost like a torture that I was always a no-no. I would be nothing but a friend to this guy and he knew it. And at the end of the day and our time in high school, it was nice to be his friend and not be another girl he messed around with.

So happy Wednesday people! Do you have a moment that changed you forever? Do you have a memory that defines who you've become? I actually have a couple but they all revolve around the fact that I am who I am for a reason....and I like it that way.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


Here Are Some More Clues

Okay, so yesterday I gave some clues as to why I am the way I am. There was some confusion at the end if I wasn't done. Note, I am never done. Hasn't the fact that I haven't ran out of things to say on this here blog proved I am never done?

So, continuing.

My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.

Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!

Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.

Father: You don't think he agrees?

Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.

Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.

Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?

Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.

My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.

Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.

Me: What? When?

Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.

Me: Um....cancel that.

Mother: M said the same thing.

Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?

Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?

Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?

Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.

Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.

Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.

{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)

My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.

My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.

I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.

So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.


It's Time to Clue Everybody In.

People often wonder why I'm funny....or a bitch. The truth of the matter is, I'm constantly finding myself surrounded with characters that deserve a shout out. I wouldn't be who I am without the help of the people that I make fun of, live with or despise.

My husband. The quintessential asshole. It's an endearing term. It's also hard not to get some pointers from him during certain moments in my life. Like the time the Market Street manager saddled up next to me and asked if I needed help renting a video.....as I was returning a video.

Me: I'm returning a video so I think I got it.

Him: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh....oh-kay.

Me: You alright there or are you having a seizure?

My oldest. The emotional melting pot of tears and dirty looks. Yah, we pick on her occasionally but seriously, toughen up girl and stop crying!

Her: Dad doesn't fight fair. He fights dirty.

Me: Welcome to my world sweetie.

Her: He purposely tries to pick on me to make me cry, then he gets mad at me for crying.

Me: Yep, you're an idiot. You've just painted your button neon yellow and given him a free pass to push it until it's dead and black.

Her: How do you fight with him?

Me: Well, sometimes I put an "Out of Order" sign on those buttons and when he pushes them, I don't let it bother me. It really pisses him off. You should try it. You'll save me some money on Kleenex.

My youngest. The reincarnate. The karma that has bitten my ass. The girl that is doomed to be cute as hell but grounded for the rest of her life.

Her: Hey mommy, I finally figured out what I am.

Me: What are you talking about?

Her: I'm filipeño!

Me: Sweetie, it's just filipino. Not filipeño like the pepper.

Her: Well, everybody always thinks I'm Mexican so I just added a little flavor.

Me: You're. A. Genius.

My boss. The Dennis Hopper of my life. The "Pop Quiz Asshole." One on one, he's actually great. Add a couple more people in the mix, good god, where's my gun?

Him: Okay, pop quiz people.

Everybody: ::sigh::

Him: How do you alphabetize?

Yah, I'm not even going to dignify that with anymore banter.

There are so many more people in my life that I will mention throughout this blog. I'm not forgetting you, I promise. It is Monday though and I have to get to work. I'm almost positive that I'm working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I'm also positive that I might need a beer after work. Have a great day!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.