Hi everybody! It's been awhile and a lot has happened but I won't be updating you on the past 7 months, I promise.
Today I wanna talk about the past. You ever have a couple days where the same lesson keeps happening over and over again so you think some cosmic karma is trying to hit you over the head. "Hey! Pay attention!" I had my best friend/brother in law down over the past 4 days. We have a history longer than the history I share with my husband (his actual brother). Him and I have experienced some life lessons together that still affect us today.
I was watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels yesterday. This guy has been with the same woman for over 28 years but finally just married her. He didn't believe in the sanctity of marriage but also believed since he wasn't married, he could cheat on her whenever his dick pointed him in the wrong direction. So the episodes were of his transformation from a playboy to a married man. I was crying the entire time. Hey, I'm a sap. I cry at weddings. Something was bugging the crap out of me though. All his friends kept saying things so unsupportive to him. It was like all of these "close friends" were basically reminding him what a loser he was. Here is this guy that is taking this giant leap into a new life and all his friends and family are poking him with his past. Why? It was their wedding reception and people were toasting him like it was a roast. Let it go Louie! What we were doesn't make us what we are!
Right?
My father has a tradition. It's a holiday tradition, usually done over dinner. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, you name it, if we are eating an elaborate dinner as a family, he's keeping up the tradition. What's the tradition? He tells the same stories of my mistakes and blunders. Sure, some of em are funny as hell but most of em aren't me anymore. How many times must I be reminded what I horrible child I was or how many hairs he lost with me growing up? I'm ::age omitted:: years old dangit! Let it go Louie! I'm not that girl anymore. Sure, I still have a smidge of a "me" complex where I sometimes think, "What about me?" but I'm a mother and a wife. I am aware that it's not all about me. It can't be.
I think it bothers me though because it means I'll never be forgiven. My mistakes will always be my middle name. The definition of my life will be every lie, every mistake and every selfish act I did. That's not fair! I don't do that to people. Do I?
Shit, I totally do.
Since 1992, my date for my high school reunion was always going to be my brother in law/best friend. Why? Well, my husband hated EVERYBODY in my class. Why would I bring him to my reunion? He seemed a little hurt by that when I informed him that I didn't wanna bring him. Of course, as I considered it, he said something reminiscent of 20 years prior like, "Nobody better fuck with me though or look at you!" But who am I to expect others to forgive and forget my past when I can't even do the same for my husband? Forgiveness doesn't condone behavior, it gives a freedom to go forward. I guess I've got a date to my high school reunion to ask. :)
So as I have a lot of things I wish people would forgive me for, I too need to forgive and as I say, "Let it go Louie!" I will try not to bring up a past behavior that hasn't resurfaced since that day. I will no longer allow a moment that still makes me cry when I speak of it to control me. I will almost always look at you as you are today, not how you were yesterday. I will embrace who I am today and accept that what happened before is what got me here.
I had to say goodbye yesterday and watch my best friend/brother in law leave again. I cried of course but I also felt a sense of relief. All of the things that we had experienced together, been angry about, still to this day tear up about aren't worth the effort. Just the fact that we share em should be enough. We've been giving em so much power all of these years but have never even considered letting em go. Well, no more.
Let it go Louie!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
10/20/11
3/11/11
It wasn't me!
I am not a religious person by any means. (Said the girl who gave up cussing for Lent) But after waking up this morning and hearing the horrible news of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan and Hawaii bracing for a tsunami as well, I did my Facebook scan and conducted a roll call of sorts. The people I know are safe.
I am heartbroken at the pictures but I don't take it upon myself. I don't run around feeling the heartbreak and act like it's my personal heartbreak. That completely irks me to the point where I wanna strangle people. And don't try to make this about God. I swear, "The earth is crying, the heavens are wreaking havoc on us. We must pray to God." Are you freaking kidding me???? That person is gonna be deleted from my Facebook friends. Don't make this disaster my fault. Don't make it God's either.
I didn't shake the earth. I didn't cause the ripple in the ocean and cause the wall of water to rise. I mean my goodness. Take that bible I know you don't have at the ready and shove it up your butt! (Still not cussing)
I've have had it with people trying to shove God down my throat. My friend posted a status update about her hair falling out and some dummy replied, "You need to let God in your life." Seriously???? God is making her hair fall out? Poor God, he gets blamed for everything obviously. If I was God, I'd be pissed at all the fingers pointed in his/her direction. I sometimes picture him/her saying with his/her hands up, "Wasn't me!"
Now I wanna talk about the news. I'm one of those obsessive people that stay glued to the set watching the devastation over and over again. Since 5am this morning, the breaking news has changed every hour. It's like a horror movie. It's 8am and the tsunami has passed through Hawaii and is threatening the US West Coast. Dude, the waves weren't that bad in Hawaii from what I'm hearing....why are they trying to inflict panic in the West Coast now? What are we waiting for now? I can just imagine my Auntie grabbing her powdered milk and soup cans right now, running through the streets and screaming. Calm down Auntie, put the water jugs down, you'll pull a muscle.
I blame the news for this. They literally and visibly were disappointed Hawaii wasn't obliterated by this tsunami. What a bunch of douchebags! They'll probably commit suicide if there isn't at least one death on American soil.
Happy Friday everybody? Prepare for the "Help Japan" telethons and text JAPAN to At&T to donate. Oh and Brad Pitt? New Orleans ain't back yet.....please don't move to Japan to raise awareness.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I am heartbroken at the pictures but I don't take it upon myself. I don't run around feeling the heartbreak and act like it's my personal heartbreak. That completely irks me to the point where I wanna strangle people. And don't try to make this about God. I swear, "The earth is crying, the heavens are wreaking havoc on us. We must pray to God." Are you freaking kidding me???? That person is gonna be deleted from my Facebook friends. Don't make this disaster my fault. Don't make it God's either.
I didn't shake the earth. I didn't cause the ripple in the ocean and cause the wall of water to rise. I mean my goodness. Take that bible I know you don't have at the ready and shove it up your butt! (Still not cussing)
I've have had it with people trying to shove God down my throat. My friend posted a status update about her hair falling out and some dummy replied, "You need to let God in your life." Seriously???? God is making her hair fall out? Poor God, he gets blamed for everything obviously. If I was God, I'd be pissed at all the fingers pointed in his/her direction. I sometimes picture him/her saying with his/her hands up, "Wasn't me!"
Now I wanna talk about the news. I'm one of those obsessive people that stay glued to the set watching the devastation over and over again. Since 5am this morning, the breaking news has changed every hour. It's like a horror movie. It's 8am and the tsunami has passed through Hawaii and is threatening the US West Coast. Dude, the waves weren't that bad in Hawaii from what I'm hearing....why are they trying to inflict panic in the West Coast now? What are we waiting for now? I can just imagine my Auntie grabbing her powdered milk and soup cans right now, running through the streets and screaming. Calm down Auntie, put the water jugs down, you'll pull a muscle.
I blame the news for this. They literally and visibly were disappointed Hawaii wasn't obliterated by this tsunami. What a bunch of douchebags! They'll probably commit suicide if there isn't at least one death on American soil.
Happy Friday everybody? Prepare for the "Help Japan" telethons and text JAPAN to At&T to donate. Oh and Brad Pitt? New Orleans ain't back yet.....please don't move to Japan to raise awareness.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/4/11
I'm a lover....not a fighter.
Mornings are so monotonous. It's the same thing every morning. I yell at my kids, I yell at em again, I threaten death, I yell at them yet again. I get it, you're tired, school sucks and sleep is all you wanna do. Well suck it up azzholes, you think I want to be doing this too?
So yesterday I was in a coma from 10am to 3pm. Count that as 3 days of catching up from repeating the words, "Get UP!!!" over and over again. Today, I have to do the taxes. Taxes used to be fun for me. I loved watching the refund climb as I added my deductions. Lately, for about 3 years, the refund barely climbs. My husband makes too much money and add me going back to work, this one may just be about 8 hours of praying we don't owe.
It pisses me off when people come out with thousands of dollars in a refund. Jeez, what famous author of fiction does their taxes???
Anywhoo! Today I have a rant. 13 year olds. Even worse, a 13 year old that always has an answer. How can this girl listen to reason but STILL have a mumble or a grumble for rebuttal. I swear, I wanna reach over and strangle the rebuttal out of her. And the arguments are so ridiculous, I sometimes wanna strangle myself for falling for it. And everything is so dramatic. Oh and even better, or more annoying is she thinks she's such a bad ass. I mean, the girl hasn't gotten into a fight once in her life yet she acts like she's the UFC champion of the world. Um......no sweetie. You can't get into a fist fight with your friend's mom or dad. That would be my job, and I ain't gettin' involved. But I swear, this girl's attitude is gonna get me in trouble. My thoughts on that is, "Why me?"
M: ::slamming the door:: I swear, if (name omitted)'s dad doesn't quit being a jerk, I'm gonna have words with him.
Me: What?
M: I already told (name omitted) if he has a problem with me, he needed to come over and say it to my face.
Me: Are you freaking kidding me? Jesus! You do realize that if he says anything to you, which he has a right to now, me or your dad is gonna get involved, right?
M: Good!
Husband: If your mom or I get into a fight with a neighbor because of your mouth, I'm gonna have to beat you.
Me: Hmmmmm, I wonder where she gets it from. :/ Whatever happened to solving problems with a joke and a smile. Why's it always gotta be so dramatic?
And this has been my life since I was 16 years old. My husband was the most hated person in town because he was SUCH an asshole! He ran his mouth first and never freaking shut it. I on the other hand never got into a fight. I probably had a total of 3 people that hated me enough to want to fight me, but I had some great friends that kept me from harm's way. Oh and sidenote, those 3 people that hated me, hated me because of that asshole who is my husband right now. Silly girls. ;) I've tried to explain to the 13 year old the trick to NOT fighting. Being mouthy is fine, but you better have a bad ass friend in your corner, cause I was not meant for being a bad ass.
I don't think she gets it though and I fear one of these days is probably gonna end with a black eye and more dramatics. I only hope she finds a friend like I had. It was a Halloween party of Halloween parties. The girl, we'll call her "Sasquatch" had been gunning for me for about a month. It happened so quick but all I remember was my hair being pulled from behind. The next thing I knew, my bad ass friend had clocked her good, my hair was released instantly and "Sasquatch" was out cold on a kitchen floor. I looked at my friend in shock because it may have been quick, but my life passed before my eyes with the first hair tug. Seriously, "Sasquatch" would've mutilated me. I smiled a mischievous grin and said, "Shot of tequila?"
That was the first night I got sick off tequila....and it wasn't my last. Happy Friday everybody! I've got a freaking 8am soccer game tomorrow for Katie and I'm ridin' it solo. Lord help me or give me a stomach bug to get me out of it. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So yesterday I was in a coma from 10am to 3pm. Count that as 3 days of catching up from repeating the words, "Get UP!!!" over and over again. Today, I have to do the taxes. Taxes used to be fun for me. I loved watching the refund climb as I added my deductions. Lately, for about 3 years, the refund barely climbs. My husband makes too much money and add me going back to work, this one may just be about 8 hours of praying we don't owe.
It pisses me off when people come out with thousands of dollars in a refund. Jeez, what famous author of fiction does their taxes???
Anywhoo! Today I have a rant. 13 year olds. Even worse, a 13 year old that always has an answer. How can this girl listen to reason but STILL have a mumble or a grumble for rebuttal. I swear, I wanna reach over and strangle the rebuttal out of her. And the arguments are so ridiculous, I sometimes wanna strangle myself for falling for it. And everything is so dramatic. Oh and even better, or more annoying is she thinks she's such a bad ass. I mean, the girl hasn't gotten into a fight once in her life yet she acts like she's the UFC champion of the world. Um......no sweetie. You can't get into a fist fight with your friend's mom or dad. That would be my job, and I ain't gettin' involved. But I swear, this girl's attitude is gonna get me in trouble. My thoughts on that is, "Why me?"
M: ::slamming the door:: I swear, if (name omitted)'s dad doesn't quit being a jerk, I'm gonna have words with him.
Me: What?
M: I already told (name omitted) if he has a problem with me, he needed to come over and say it to my face.
Me: Are you freaking kidding me? Jesus! You do realize that if he says anything to you, which he has a right to now, me or your dad is gonna get involved, right?
M: Good!
Husband: If your mom or I get into a fight with a neighbor because of your mouth, I'm gonna have to beat you.
Me: Hmmmmm, I wonder where she gets it from. :/ Whatever happened to solving problems with a joke and a smile. Why's it always gotta be so dramatic?
And this has been my life since I was 16 years old. My husband was the most hated person in town because he was SUCH an asshole! He ran his mouth first and never freaking shut it. I on the other hand never got into a fight. I probably had a total of 3 people that hated me enough to want to fight me, but I had some great friends that kept me from harm's way. Oh and sidenote, those 3 people that hated me, hated me because of that asshole who is my husband right now. Silly girls. ;) I've tried to explain to the 13 year old the trick to NOT fighting. Being mouthy is fine, but you better have a bad ass friend in your corner, cause I was not meant for being a bad ass.
I don't think she gets it though and I fear one of these days is probably gonna end with a black eye and more dramatics. I only hope she finds a friend like I had. It was a Halloween party of Halloween parties. The girl, we'll call her "Sasquatch" had been gunning for me for about a month. It happened so quick but all I remember was my hair being pulled from behind. The next thing I knew, my bad ass friend had clocked her good, my hair was released instantly and "Sasquatch" was out cold on a kitchen floor. I looked at my friend in shock because it may have been quick, but my life passed before my eyes with the first hair tug. Seriously, "Sasquatch" would've mutilated me. I smiled a mischievous grin and said, "Shot of tequila?"
That was the first night I got sick off tequila....and it wasn't my last. Happy Friday everybody! I've got a freaking 8am soccer game tomorrow for Katie and I'm ridin' it solo. Lord help me or give me a stomach bug to get me out of it. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/3/11
Hello again :)
So, we're into 2011 and this is my first post of the year. I apologize for being absent for so long. It's been so busy I guess with work, the girls and my husband. I'll just try to catch up.
Work is going good. I'm up to 24 hours a week now, working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I have a 4 day weekend but I'll tell you, by Wednesday, my "give a shit" meter is at an all time low. It's becoming busier in the pharmacy. I made it an entire year at good ol' Target and I have to admit, going back to work was the best decision that fell into my lap ever. Dennis has gotten a new nickname. "Buzz" was given to him for the reason that whenever he walks into the pharmacy, he's a major buzzkill. He's still the same. He is still under the impression that he's perfect but he's kinda growing on me. I've become quite close to everybody else in the pharmacy and have grown to depend on them as co-workers and friends. I love when that happens.
The girls are good. K is 9 years old and going on 30. She still has the ability to make you smile and laugh in your darkest mood. Of course with getting older, her ability to stop talking has taken a turn to not existing. She truly is still my mini-me. I can never say anything bad about her because I would essentially be saying bad things about me. I do understand what my father meant when he kept telling me to stop and think before opening my "smart mouth" when I was growing up. M still has diabetes. :) Yes, I know, it's a lifelong disease. She is 10 months in from her diagnosis and in all honesty we're kicking it's ass. It's gotten easier after she graduated to the carb-ratio plan. No more limited carbs. Now she can eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants and just figures out the dose of insulin with it. She has also graduated into the next step of womanhood and recently dove into hormone hell. Yet another thing that'll mess with her disease but we seem to be coping well. My poor husband has one hormone-less child in the house. I fear he'll leave us all when all 3 of us gang up on him. In the end though, the girls are moving forward and I'm just desperately hanging on to try to keep up. It's fantastic!
My husband has moved from upstairs being a detective back to patrol. It was quite a transition for us but after a couple months, we've got it. He's happy. :) The first month was all about trying to find a balance from being a family and accommodating a guy that couldn't quite get that he had a family to spend time with. I thought it was an easy concept. Him? Not so much.
My view has always been that home was a sort of "home base." Nobody could touch me here. They couldn't hurt me. They couldn't bring me down. I could be myself, whether it be a raving lunatic or a tired and exasperated woman. I am accepted in my home. My husband would come home and act like everything was an attack. So after a couple days of explaining that concept to him and a couple weeks of repeating it, he finally got it. This family has been through so much, we really needed a place where we felt safe. You can't come home and invade our place by yelling at us and flexing your manly muscles without getting a dose of ego-popping from me. And the poor girls, they barely saw him and when they did, he was always yelling at them. Um.....no. And poor me, when I finally got a moment alone with him, he was complaining about how messy the house is and how he wants to move. Um.....no. Don't shit in my cornflakes buddy cause I will make you beg for mercy. You sir are outnumbered here, count it, readjust the attitude.
Don't worry though, when you have me as wife, a friend or a mother, you'll always see the light.
Now I'm gonna try to keep this up again. No promises though but I will try. I've missed it. Everybody is fine though. I have no complaints. I'm looking forward to starting some new habits, ending some old ones and making good decisions that will make me and my circle of friends and family happy. Happy Thursday everybody! For old times sake, here's a carpool convo. New characters are M2's brother T and E's brother I, who I've nicknamed "Tuba." He plays an instrument that is NOT a tuba but whenever I call it a tuba, giggles ensue from everybody but "Tuba." :) Oh and M is trying out for track now at school with E so that's the reason for the conversation.
Me: M ran a mile in 9 minutes yesterday and she hates running.
T: That means she'd probably run a 5K in about 25 minutes. For somebody who hates running, that's a pretty good time.
Me: I think she's better at short distance. She tends to burn out quick.
Tuba: My dad ran a Marathon Man and my mom runs every morning.
Me: Nobody like a bragger Tuba.
Tuba: I'm not bragging but some people die doing the Marathon Man.
Me: I know I would. I ran a 5K.
T: What was your time?
Me: 45 minutes.
T: WHAT????? Did you crawl it? Or was it in water or something?
Me: Nooooooooooooooo, I walked up the hills and sprinted down em. There were a lot of hills but the cookies at the end were fantastic!
T: I'd say nobody likes a bragger but 45 minutes is NOTHING to brag about Miss Jean.
Me: Well hey, it's about 2 miles to school from here. Get out and we can see who makes it there first. Me or you. :P
T: I ran a 5K in 22 minutes.
Me: Seriously, get out. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Work is going good. I'm up to 24 hours a week now, working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I have a 4 day weekend but I'll tell you, by Wednesday, my "give a shit" meter is at an all time low. It's becoming busier in the pharmacy. I made it an entire year at good ol' Target and I have to admit, going back to work was the best decision that fell into my lap ever. Dennis has gotten a new nickname. "Buzz" was given to him for the reason that whenever he walks into the pharmacy, he's a major buzzkill. He's still the same. He is still under the impression that he's perfect but he's kinda growing on me. I've become quite close to everybody else in the pharmacy and have grown to depend on them as co-workers and friends. I love when that happens.
The girls are good. K is 9 years old and going on 30. She still has the ability to make you smile and laugh in your darkest mood. Of course with getting older, her ability to stop talking has taken a turn to not existing. She truly is still my mini-me. I can never say anything bad about her because I would essentially be saying bad things about me. I do understand what my father meant when he kept telling me to stop and think before opening my "smart mouth" when I was growing up. M still has diabetes. :) Yes, I know, it's a lifelong disease. She is 10 months in from her diagnosis and in all honesty we're kicking it's ass. It's gotten easier after she graduated to the carb-ratio plan. No more limited carbs. Now she can eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants and just figures out the dose of insulin with it. She has also graduated into the next step of womanhood and recently dove into hormone hell. Yet another thing that'll mess with her disease but we seem to be coping well. My poor husband has one hormone-less child in the house. I fear he'll leave us all when all 3 of us gang up on him. In the end though, the girls are moving forward and I'm just desperately hanging on to try to keep up. It's fantastic!
My husband has moved from upstairs being a detective back to patrol. It was quite a transition for us but after a couple months, we've got it. He's happy. :) The first month was all about trying to find a balance from being a family and accommodating a guy that couldn't quite get that he had a family to spend time with. I thought it was an easy concept. Him? Not so much.
My view has always been that home was a sort of "home base." Nobody could touch me here. They couldn't hurt me. They couldn't bring me down. I could be myself, whether it be a raving lunatic or a tired and exasperated woman. I am accepted in my home. My husband would come home and act like everything was an attack. So after a couple days of explaining that concept to him and a couple weeks of repeating it, he finally got it. This family has been through so much, we really needed a place where we felt safe. You can't come home and invade our place by yelling at us and flexing your manly muscles without getting a dose of ego-popping from me. And the poor girls, they barely saw him and when they did, he was always yelling at them. Um.....no. And poor me, when I finally got a moment alone with him, he was complaining about how messy the house is and how he wants to move. Um.....no. Don't shit in my cornflakes buddy cause I will make you beg for mercy. You sir are outnumbered here, count it, readjust the attitude.
Don't worry though, when you have me as wife, a friend or a mother, you'll always see the light.
Now I'm gonna try to keep this up again. No promises though but I will try. I've missed it. Everybody is fine though. I have no complaints. I'm looking forward to starting some new habits, ending some old ones and making good decisions that will make me and my circle of friends and family happy. Happy Thursday everybody! For old times sake, here's a carpool convo. New characters are M2's brother T and E's brother I, who I've nicknamed "Tuba." He plays an instrument that is NOT a tuba but whenever I call it a tuba, giggles ensue from everybody but "Tuba." :) Oh and M is trying out for track now at school with E so that's the reason for the conversation.
Me: M ran a mile in 9 minutes yesterday and she hates running.
T: That means she'd probably run a 5K in about 25 minutes. For somebody who hates running, that's a pretty good time.
Me: I think she's better at short distance. She tends to burn out quick.
Tuba: My dad ran a Marathon Man and my mom runs every morning.
Me: Nobody like a bragger Tuba.
Tuba: I'm not bragging but some people die doing the Marathon Man.
Me: I know I would. I ran a 5K.
T: What was your time?
Me: 45 minutes.
T: WHAT????? Did you crawl it? Or was it in water or something?
Me: Nooooooooooooooo, I walked up the hills and sprinted down em. There were a lot of hills but the cookies at the end were fantastic!
T: I'd say nobody likes a bragger but 45 minutes is NOTHING to brag about Miss Jean.
Me: Well hey, it's about 2 miles to school from here. Get out and we can see who makes it there first. Me or you. :P
T: I ran a 5K in 22 minutes.
Me: Seriously, get out. :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
8/27/10
Title....that's all I got. ;)
Oh good god people, all of you working people are my heroes. How in the hell do you do it? Waking up every morning, just as the sun is rising to get your asses to work? Since school has started, I've realized that I have to start taking better care of myself. Cause I gotta tell you, being this tired is NOT normal.
I'm NOT pregnant so hush.
Yesterday was my first long day. And what I mean by long is the same thing every normal person does. 8 whole hours. ((GASP)) Yah, I realize, the act of feeling sorry for me is far from your thoughts. Suck it up Jeanie....everybody does it. I have a friend who I used to work with before that works hard like all you other people. He works at a hospital pharmacy and lives in New Orleans. He took a chance on an adventure and royally feels screwed.
He's not even 30 yet though. He has a gorgeous wife and absolutely no kids. He had every right to take a chance and has every right to continue to do it. Yesterday on his blog, he made an announcement that he was starting a new one. I miss those moments in my life where an adventure was a possibility.
http://reflectiondisposition.wordpress.com/author/mileskw/
I've been where he was where the world was my oyster and there wasn't a care in the world. I would drive fast, take spur of the moment trips to nowhere and take a giant leap into the unknown. I envy him actually. I don't envy the heartache of endeavors failing along the way but I do envy the excitement of those endeavors.
So my friend, my long lost brother from another mother, you will fail sometimes but you will accomplish so much in the end too. Because with every failure, there is an adventure you'll never regret. I believe in you and wish you luck.
Happy Friday everybody....I'm going back to bed! :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again
I'm NOT pregnant so hush.
Yesterday was my first long day. And what I mean by long is the same thing every normal person does. 8 whole hours. ((GASP)) Yah, I realize, the act of feeling sorry for me is far from your thoughts. Suck it up Jeanie....everybody does it. I have a friend who I used to work with before that works hard like all you other people. He works at a hospital pharmacy and lives in New Orleans. He took a chance on an adventure and royally feels screwed.
He's not even 30 yet though. He has a gorgeous wife and absolutely no kids. He had every right to take a chance and has every right to continue to do it. Yesterday on his blog, he made an announcement that he was starting a new one. I miss those moments in my life where an adventure was a possibility.
http://reflectiondisposition.wordpress.com/author/mileskw/
I've been where he was where the world was my oyster and there wasn't a care in the world. I would drive fast, take spur of the moment trips to nowhere and take a giant leap into the unknown. I envy him actually. I don't envy the heartache of endeavors failing along the way but I do envy the excitement of those endeavors.
So my friend, my long lost brother from another mother, you will fail sometimes but you will accomplish so much in the end too. Because with every failure, there is an adventure you'll never regret. I believe in you and wish you luck.
Happy Friday everybody....I'm going back to bed! :)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again
7/18/10
Don't worry....I'm certified.
What does that mean?
Actually, it doesn't mean shit. Certification to most just means that you studied really hard for a test, learned that stuff to pass the test, passed the test and then promptly forgot everything you learned. That's pretty much what I did. I couldn't do half the stuff I learned today. I don't really want to either.
So this weekend was pretty uneventful. It was heaven! My redneck Filipino husband built himself a deer blind. Basically it's a wooden box he'll stand in and kill deer when they come close. Well, it has a couple windows. He actually did a pretty good job at it which leads me to ask again, who is this man? Everyday he surprises me with another talent. Now don't get me wrong, I took shop in school. Hey, there were some cute guys in the class and the girl to boy ratio was always a cool 1:5. But ask me to make a wooden picture frame and I'll just go get some sticks and a hot glue gun. I don't remember shit about that.
I'm sure I could remember things I've learned in the past but the information just clicking on the fly, ain't really my forte. Is that just a Jeanie thing?
People are constantly amazing me with the amount of information they retain. The English language and how to write it is one of them. I graduated in 1992 and rocked English class. It was one of my favorite subjects. Dur. How could it not be? But ask me what a preposition is and I'm gonna embarrass myself. About the only thing I ever retained in English class....is how to read. I can spot mistakes in books but can't spot my own.
One of my least favorite things about English class was trying to find the symbolism in a story. The word "symbolism" is kind of like the word "priortizer" to me. I hate it. Why does a book have to have symbolism? Why can't I just read a book and understand the concept instead of finding the hidden meaning behind it? A book for me is an escape. A trip to the unknown away from the reality of my life. Word in some places is agents are looking for books with symbolism. Seriously? Are we writing classics now that some poor 12th grader is gonna roll their eyes at in 15 years? I don't really want to write a classic.
I have a "friend" who shall remain nameless, that writes. And when I say writes, I mean he really writes. His stories whether short or long are the epitome of symbolism. As an adult that chooses to read what she wants to read, I have to admit that I wish I could write like that. And even though his stories or books have no vampires or werewolves in them, he can write a mean story. Which brings me back to amazement of the skills people retain.
I love when people surprise me and make me want to be a better person. Whether it be a better writer or a better....carpenter, I'm paying attention.
Have a great Monday. My eyes are finally back to what they're supposed to look like. I have to take these giant capsules of Omega-3 and all I keep tasting is fish. It's fantastic. (sarcasm)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Actually, it doesn't mean shit. Certification to most just means that you studied really hard for a test, learned that stuff to pass the test, passed the test and then promptly forgot everything you learned. That's pretty much what I did. I couldn't do half the stuff I learned today. I don't really want to either.
So this weekend was pretty uneventful. It was heaven! My redneck Filipino husband built himself a deer blind. Basically it's a wooden box he'll stand in and kill deer when they come close. Well, it has a couple windows. He actually did a pretty good job at it which leads me to ask again, who is this man? Everyday he surprises me with another talent. Now don't get me wrong, I took shop in school. Hey, there were some cute guys in the class and the girl to boy ratio was always a cool 1:5. But ask me to make a wooden picture frame and I'll just go get some sticks and a hot glue gun. I don't remember shit about that.
I'm sure I could remember things I've learned in the past but the information just clicking on the fly, ain't really my forte. Is that just a Jeanie thing?
People are constantly amazing me with the amount of information they retain. The English language and how to write it is one of them. I graduated in 1992 and rocked English class. It was one of my favorite subjects. Dur. How could it not be? But ask me what a preposition is and I'm gonna embarrass myself. About the only thing I ever retained in English class....is how to read. I can spot mistakes in books but can't spot my own.
One of my least favorite things about English class was trying to find the symbolism in a story. The word "symbolism" is kind of like the word "priortizer" to me. I hate it. Why does a book have to have symbolism? Why can't I just read a book and understand the concept instead of finding the hidden meaning behind it? A book for me is an escape. A trip to the unknown away from the reality of my life. Word in some places is agents are looking for books with symbolism. Seriously? Are we writing classics now that some poor 12th grader is gonna roll their eyes at in 15 years? I don't really want to write a classic.
I have a "friend" who shall remain nameless, that writes. And when I say writes, I mean he really writes. His stories whether short or long are the epitome of symbolism. As an adult that chooses to read what she wants to read, I have to admit that I wish I could write like that. And even though his stories or books have no vampires or werewolves in them, he can write a mean story. Which brings me back to amazement of the skills people retain.
I love when people surprise me and make me want to be a better person. Whether it be a better writer or a better....carpenter, I'm paying attention.
Have a great Monday. My eyes are finally back to what they're supposed to look like. I have to take these giant capsules of Omega-3 and all I keep tasting is fish. It's fantastic. (sarcasm)
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
7/1/10
Sometimes you just gotta say it.
What is your catch phrase? Everybody has one and they don't even realize it. It's the phrase that gets you through the day. It gets your through a moment. Shit, it gets you through life. I never realized mine until recently. It's foul but it encompasses me like a tight tube top on a hot summer day.
Fuck it.
It seems like whenever I'm feeling scared or blue, it works. Fuck it. Whether it be that leap into the unknown or the skip into something sinful. Fuck it.
It's like you're standing on a bridge attached to a bungee cord contemplating your life. Do you jump? Do you stand there like an idiot? Nope, fuck it. You only live once and there is never a do over in life. Just jump already.
If there is one thing I've learned and held on to so tightly is, my actions are mine. Sure they might effect the people around me but they're still mine. The way my actions effect other people is their own choice. I have absolutely no rights to how they feel. All I can worry about is my own. Some might say that's selfish because I'm a parent and my actions reflect off my kids but seriously, it's still my decision to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my decisions don't kill my kids, I feel pretty comfortable with my view on life.
Before I was married with kids, my catch phrase was so much fun. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't do death defying acts or anything but I did swallow any fear that might've held me back. Being married with kids, my catch phrase is still somewhat fun. It's just not that life altering. It could just be the simple act of telling a perfect stranger off for staring at my tits....or just staring at me in general. I feel that it is my duty to leave a lasting impression on anybody that injects themselves into my life.
I've always been brutally honest in life. Don't get me wrong, I lie to save my ass sometimes but I've always been a horrible liar. Maybe that's why I embrace honesty. Cause I suck at being devious. And when I say honesty, I'm just meaning saying what's on my mind at the moment it enters my mind. I don't chew on anything. I spit it out. If you're bugging the shit out of me, you're gonna know it. If you look like shit in an outfit, I'm probably going to say it. If you've hurt me, believe me, you're gonna get a hot cup of reality from me.
Fuck it.
What's your catch phrase for life? Did you know you had one? Have a great Thursday. Weekend is almost here!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Fuck it.
It seems like whenever I'm feeling scared or blue, it works. Fuck it. Whether it be that leap into the unknown or the skip into something sinful. Fuck it.
It's like you're standing on a bridge attached to a bungee cord contemplating your life. Do you jump? Do you stand there like an idiot? Nope, fuck it. You only live once and there is never a do over in life. Just jump already.
If there is one thing I've learned and held on to so tightly is, my actions are mine. Sure they might effect the people around me but they're still mine. The way my actions effect other people is their own choice. I have absolutely no rights to how they feel. All I can worry about is my own. Some might say that's selfish because I'm a parent and my actions reflect off my kids but seriously, it's still my decision to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my decisions don't kill my kids, I feel pretty comfortable with my view on life.
Before I was married with kids, my catch phrase was so much fun. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't do death defying acts or anything but I did swallow any fear that might've held me back. Being married with kids, my catch phrase is still somewhat fun. It's just not that life altering. It could just be the simple act of telling a perfect stranger off for staring at my tits....or just staring at me in general. I feel that it is my duty to leave a lasting impression on anybody that injects themselves into my life.
I've always been brutally honest in life. Don't get me wrong, I lie to save my ass sometimes but I've always been a horrible liar. Maybe that's why I embrace honesty. Cause I suck at being devious. And when I say honesty, I'm just meaning saying what's on my mind at the moment it enters my mind. I don't chew on anything. I spit it out. If you're bugging the shit out of me, you're gonna know it. If you look like shit in an outfit, I'm probably going to say it. If you've hurt me, believe me, you're gonna get a hot cup of reality from me.
Fuck it.
What's your catch phrase for life? Did you know you had one? Have a great Thursday. Weekend is almost here!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/30/10
Oh there would be hell to pay I tell ya!
I'm not going to talk about Twilight's Eclipse....but it was a great movie! :)
I'm gonna take it back to the days when I would talk about my husband. You remember him? The guy who's kind of an asshole? There are certain rules I have to abide by with him. They aren't hard. They are quite understandable. Number one rule? Don't make him look like an asshole in front of ANYBODY!
What does that mean?
Well, I can't skool him in front of strangers that'll never see him again in his lifetime. Here's an example.
Upon leaving a Best Buy when we were in California, my husband and I were leaving the store. My husband proceeded to go out the IN door. I yelled out, "The door says IN dumbass!" Now this was in front of the door greeter. Whoopsie! Oh there was hell to pay for that one. Trust me, I didn't pay much attention to the scolding that ensued but I could tell from the look on his face that he was pissed.
Another example is making him look like an idiot in front of friends or family. It's not always easy to make him look like an idiot mind you, so when there's a chance, I can't help it. Here's an example.
In San Francisco, my husband asks me and M (the diabetic) if we wanted ice cream. Now M has been a diabetic for a month now. Where in the schedule does an impromptu ice cream cone appear? So what did I do? I "kindly" said, "No, we won't have any ice cream because um....god you're a dumbass." Now I said this in front of his brother and girlfriend/wife. Big mistake. But seriously, DUMBASS!!! Oh he scolded me for that one too. I think he "ignored" me for like an hour....or a minute....who knows, I wasn't paying attention anyway.
See? Rules. Sometimes I respect them but sometimes my bitch side comes out and it can't be helped.
Now one might ask, does he abide by the same rules? I think he does. I'm not really one of those people that really give a crap about what people think of me. I can actually recognize the futility of being embarrassed in front of perfect strangers and being mad about it. But yesterday! Oh here we go.
My friend G comes over to "play." That just means we sit out back drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and talking shit. I hadn't seen her since I left for California. So we're just having a pleasant conversation and my husband proceeds to come out with an iPod USB plug that appears to be broken. The casing is missing and it's just a shell of a USB plug.
Husband: Did you do this?
Me: Um....no.
Husband: Well the kids say they didn't do it so who did it?
Me: Maybe the gerbil that got out did it?
Husband: The gerbil??? No seriously, did you do this?
(Now at this point, I can tell he isn't kidding.)
Me: Why the fuck would I do that?
Husband: I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
(At this point, I've started to ignore him and tell G about the gerbil that got out. Husband huffs and goes back inside. When G leaves....oh, it continued.)
Me: What the hell was that outside??
Husband: I just asked why the USB plug was stripped and if you did it.
Me: I didn't jackass. And check yourself, I'm 35...not 2. Take it back a notch Officer.
Husband: I'm just sick of working my ass off and finding shit broken. This is ridiculous.
Me: Well, seeing as that USB plug is almost 6 years old, I think it's run it's course. Now kindly step back, think about it and I'll be waiting for your apology when you realize what a jerk you were. You'd be pissed if I did that in front of one of your friends.
This went back and forth. So my question is, seriously, what the hell was that about? I just don't get it sometimes. And I'm not gonna be all pathetic and think, "Poor me," but dammit! Was he flexing his husband muscles....in front of my girlfriend? Was he feeling left out? I mean, I've been trying to make this transition to night shift as simple as possible. I've made sure dinner was somewhat early. I've done the soccer game, the doctor visit. I didn't do those things solo to bring it up. I did it because that's my job. I don't resent it. He offered to do both of those things with me but I told him to get some sleep. Trust me, I don't want to burn the guy out with lack of sleep. I can do this. But seriously, what the hell was that about?
Phew, vent over. It's Hump Day....I'm off work and we got paid. Time to bring that massive balance down to $0 again.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I'm gonna take it back to the days when I would talk about my husband. You remember him? The guy who's kind of an asshole? There are certain rules I have to abide by with him. They aren't hard. They are quite understandable. Number one rule? Don't make him look like an asshole in front of ANYBODY!
What does that mean?
Well, I can't skool him in front of strangers that'll never see him again in his lifetime. Here's an example.
Upon leaving a Best Buy when we were in California, my husband and I were leaving the store. My husband proceeded to go out the IN door. I yelled out, "The door says IN dumbass!" Now this was in front of the door greeter. Whoopsie! Oh there was hell to pay for that one. Trust me, I didn't pay much attention to the scolding that ensued but I could tell from the look on his face that he was pissed.
Another example is making him look like an idiot in front of friends or family. It's not always easy to make him look like an idiot mind you, so when there's a chance, I can't help it. Here's an example.
In San Francisco, my husband asks me and M (the diabetic) if we wanted ice cream. Now M has been a diabetic for a month now. Where in the schedule does an impromptu ice cream cone appear? So what did I do? I "kindly" said, "No, we won't have any ice cream because um....god you're a dumbass." Now I said this in front of his brother and girlfriend/wife. Big mistake. But seriously, DUMBASS!!! Oh he scolded me for that one too. I think he "ignored" me for like an hour....or a minute....who knows, I wasn't paying attention anyway.
See? Rules. Sometimes I respect them but sometimes my bitch side comes out and it can't be helped.
Now one might ask, does he abide by the same rules? I think he does. I'm not really one of those people that really give a crap about what people think of me. I can actually recognize the futility of being embarrassed in front of perfect strangers and being mad about it. But yesterday! Oh here we go.
My friend G comes over to "play." That just means we sit out back drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and talking shit. I hadn't seen her since I left for California. So we're just having a pleasant conversation and my husband proceeds to come out with an iPod USB plug that appears to be broken. The casing is missing and it's just a shell of a USB plug.
Husband: Did you do this?
Me: Um....no.
Husband: Well the kids say they didn't do it so who did it?
Me: Maybe the gerbil that got out did it?
Husband: The gerbil??? No seriously, did you do this?
(Now at this point, I can tell he isn't kidding.)
Me: Why the fuck would I do that?
Husband: I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
(At this point, I've started to ignore him and tell G about the gerbil that got out. Husband huffs and goes back inside. When G leaves....oh, it continued.)
Me: What the hell was that outside??
Husband: I just asked why the USB plug was stripped and if you did it.
Me: I didn't jackass. And check yourself, I'm 35...not 2. Take it back a notch Officer.
Husband: I'm just sick of working my ass off and finding shit broken. This is ridiculous.
Me: Well, seeing as that USB plug is almost 6 years old, I think it's run it's course. Now kindly step back, think about it and I'll be waiting for your apology when you realize what a jerk you were. You'd be pissed if I did that in front of one of your friends.
This went back and forth. So my question is, seriously, what the hell was that about? I just don't get it sometimes. And I'm not gonna be all pathetic and think, "Poor me," but dammit! Was he flexing his husband muscles....in front of my girlfriend? Was he feeling left out? I mean, I've been trying to make this transition to night shift as simple as possible. I've made sure dinner was somewhat early. I've done the soccer game, the doctor visit. I didn't do those things solo to bring it up. I did it because that's my job. I don't resent it. He offered to do both of those things with me but I told him to get some sleep. Trust me, I don't want to burn the guy out with lack of sleep. I can do this. But seriously, what the hell was that about?
Phew, vent over. It's Hump Day....I'm off work and we got paid. Time to bring that massive balance down to $0 again.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/26/10
Did ya miss me?
I missed you all! Okay, I missed y'all a little, okay? It was a great vacation. We spent our entire time visiting with family...and not once did I want to drive an ice pick in my eye. I absolutely love my second family. Love. Them.
NOTE! I refer to them as my mom, dad, sister and brother. I'm not going to waste my time with adding the in-law. They've been in my life for over 20 years...I think I deserve this right.
Dad was unfortunately still recouping from his surgery from a few weeks back. When we arrived, he was in the hospital. There was word that he'd be in all week but it seems my dad did a little guilt trip on the doctor and got released the day after we arrived. Thankfully, me or the kids didn't have to visit a hospital on our vacation. I think we've had enough of hospitals, thank you very much. My girls hadn't see their grandparents since 2003! Mark it people! Imagine it. Meeting your grandma and grandpap for what might seem the first time ever. K was too young to even know these people. M had a memory of our last visit that really wasn't a good one. These girls needed a do over and I hoped and prayed it would be a good one.
The happiness and joy that filled the house when we arrived was touchable. I'd like to think they were equally glad to see me but they'd actually seen me in December. I was old news. The grandchildren were the cherries on this sundae. My mom had ALL of her grandchildren within hugging reach. When dad got home, K migrated to his side and never left his side...unless her cousin PM was over....then she was in cousin heaven. M was shy of course but you could tell she was happy to be with everybody. Me on the other hand, they told me I'd lost weight since December....I grabbed everybody for hugs and never wanted to let go. :)
I got to see some friends. Some I hadn't seen in years. Some I'd seen in December. Lemme tell ya, I've never felt more loved than I did over this trip. God I love the people that share my life with me. I am a very lucky girl. I've known that. I know that. I will never take it for granted.
Upon returning home, I realized that reality is what I make it. Here's my reality. No matter how hard or how easy things seem, I will always have an avenue or person to turn to. That is my reality. People come and go sadly. Some people choose to leave. Some people don't know any better than to disappear. It's the people that stay and want to stay that are worth the fight. So at home, I have MY family and MY friends. My family is always worth the fight. My friends are my fight. I have my work and I thank God every Monday and Friday that I have it to take away the constant "to do" of my life. For 8 hours, I can worry about something else. That is a great feeling.
My girls have returned back to normal where they think the world revolves around them. I continue to run circles around them while they think their turtle speed is standard. I have to remind myself that a thank you from an adolescent is like asking for a free car from the government. My husband is happy being back on patrol and you can tell he is just giddy with the idea of it.
Me? Well, I'm just trying to embrace the reality of things. To those of you that know me and love me....I love you too. To those of you that don't and just kinda like me...I kinda like you too.
I have nothing funny to say today. I have nothing humorous to get you through your day. All I can say is this marks 100 posts and I'm a lucky girl. I hope I never run out of things to say or things to laugh about. But knowing me....I'd have to be dead for that to happen. Happy Monday! This is going to be a busy week of doctor's appointments, movies, soccer games and practices. God help you....I'm riding this life somewhat solo for awhile while my other half acclimates to being a vampire. Wish me luck!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
NOTE! I refer to them as my mom, dad, sister and brother. I'm not going to waste my time with adding the in-law. They've been in my life for over 20 years...I think I deserve this right.
Dad was unfortunately still recouping from his surgery from a few weeks back. When we arrived, he was in the hospital. There was word that he'd be in all week but it seems my dad did a little guilt trip on the doctor and got released the day after we arrived. Thankfully, me or the kids didn't have to visit a hospital on our vacation. I think we've had enough of hospitals, thank you very much. My girls hadn't see their grandparents since 2003! Mark it people! Imagine it. Meeting your grandma and grandpap for what might seem the first time ever. K was too young to even know these people. M had a memory of our last visit that really wasn't a good one. These girls needed a do over and I hoped and prayed it would be a good one.
The happiness and joy that filled the house when we arrived was touchable. I'd like to think they were equally glad to see me but they'd actually seen me in December. I was old news. The grandchildren were the cherries on this sundae. My mom had ALL of her grandchildren within hugging reach. When dad got home, K migrated to his side and never left his side...unless her cousin PM was over....then she was in cousin heaven. M was shy of course but you could tell she was happy to be with everybody. Me on the other hand, they told me I'd lost weight since December....I grabbed everybody for hugs and never wanted to let go. :)
I got to see some friends. Some I hadn't seen in years. Some I'd seen in December. Lemme tell ya, I've never felt more loved than I did over this trip. God I love the people that share my life with me. I am a very lucky girl. I've known that. I know that. I will never take it for granted.
Upon returning home, I realized that reality is what I make it. Here's my reality. No matter how hard or how easy things seem, I will always have an avenue or person to turn to. That is my reality. People come and go sadly. Some people choose to leave. Some people don't know any better than to disappear. It's the people that stay and want to stay that are worth the fight. So at home, I have MY family and MY friends. My family is always worth the fight. My friends are my fight. I have my work and I thank God every Monday and Friday that I have it to take away the constant "to do" of my life. For 8 hours, I can worry about something else. That is a great feeling.
My girls have returned back to normal where they think the world revolves around them. I continue to run circles around them while they think their turtle speed is standard. I have to remind myself that a thank you from an adolescent is like asking for a free car from the government. My husband is happy being back on patrol and you can tell he is just giddy with the idea of it.
Me? Well, I'm just trying to embrace the reality of things. To those of you that know me and love me....I love you too. To those of you that don't and just kinda like me...I kinda like you too.
I have nothing funny to say today. I have nothing humorous to get you through your day. All I can say is this marks 100 posts and I'm a lucky girl. I hope I never run out of things to say or things to laugh about. But knowing me....I'd have to be dead for that to happen. Happy Monday! This is going to be a busy week of doctor's appointments, movies, soccer games and practices. God help you....I'm riding this life somewhat solo for awhile while my other half acclimates to being a vampire. Wish me luck!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/25/10
Silence is Never Golden.
Yah, I know I switched it up a bit but it's true. In my Thir-thir-thirty five years of living, I've learned that a silent companion is a bad companion. Now don't get me wrong, there have been moments when I wanted to shut up the non-silent companions with a tube sock in the mouth but I'd rather they talk than be silent. Oh and if I'm being silent? Yah....ya better check the rat poison cause I'm prolly pissed off. A silent Jeanie is a very dangerous Jeanie.
Silence to me is too much time to think. Too much time to think isn't always a good thing. Over-thinking is very bad. Especially if your a dude. Dudes are rarely given the benefit for thinking at all but I think dudes are the worst in the thinking category. Women think but then it's done and over with. We've laid out our plans and gone on with life. Dudes can never let anything rest.
Tell me this? How are these humans I've aptly named dudes, the superior species? Annoying, isn't it?
I've discovered a catch phrase that I use quite often. "Get over it!" I say it to my daughter, M, all the time. She got into a fight last night with my husband, her daddy. Oh it was a doozy. M mouthed off to her dad and her dad went off! I have to admit, M deserved it. No 12 year old should talk like that to an adult. And trust me, you don't talk like that to my husband, the asshole. I've mentioned before that it's always a battle of wits and pride with that man. Add the fact that a 12 year old had backed him in the corner? Freaking mayhem. The sad thing is, my daughter has the same kind of attitude problem as my husband. She's stubborn and by god, she isn't going to admit it. Welcome to my life people....I gave birth to a female asshole. At the end of the day though, all I want to say and all I can say is, "Get over it!"
Because truly, get over it! Like last night, something highly annoying was...well, annoying me. Oh it was pathetic and ridiculous but it was really annoying me. This morning....okay, I'll admit, it's still annoying me but I'm gonna take my own advice and get over it. Trust me, I'm so much smarter than to let something pathetic and ridiculous annoy me more than a couple days. It's not worth my time. See? We truly are the superior species here. :)
Tuesday Carpool was a little somber today. It's almost over guys and we're all getting a little sad.
E was especially quiet this morning and I finally broached the subject.
Me: What's up E? You're so quiet.
E: I'm a little worried about something.
Me: Worried about what? You're 12.
E: I'm worried about my surgery.
Everybody: SURGERY???
Me: Surgery for what sweetie?
E: Um....er....::blushing::
Me: Oh jeez, you're gonna make me drag it out of you, aren't you?
E: I don't know how to explain it.
Me: Are you getting your tonsils taken out?
E: Nope.
Me: Adenoids?
E: Nope.
Me: Hair transplant?
E: Aim lower.
Me: Appendix?
E: ::blushing:: Lower.
Me: Um....er....your "no-no" box? ::snort::
E: Yes! I told M about it.
M (daughter): No you didn't! I would've remembered a conversation we had about you and your "no-no" square.
Me: Oh shit, that description keeps getting funnier and funnier. "No-no" square?
E: I did too tell you. Nice to know, my impending death by surgery wasn't anything for you to pay attention to.
M (daughter): E, I swear, I don't think you told me.
E: I did, now can we just drop it?
Me: Consider it dropped....wait....is that why you're having surgery? Something didn't "drop?"
E: ::groan:: This is going down as my worst day EVER!
Me: Oh sweetie, you're going to be fine. How many times have I opened the door practically half dressed? How many times have I embarrassed myself in front of you? You'd need like 15 hands to count that. We're all friends here. You're going to be fine. When's your surgery?
E: July 16th.
Me: That's the day after my birthday!
M2: My birthday is July 12th!
Me: July birthdays ROCK!
E: Girls suck.
And see?! The girls in the car moved one. "Got over it," so to speak. Ethan didn't. Dudes....they're all the same.
Have a great Tuesday! I'm off for three days and it's a wonderful thing!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Silence to me is too much time to think. Too much time to think isn't always a good thing. Over-thinking is very bad. Especially if your a dude. Dudes are rarely given the benefit for thinking at all but I think dudes are the worst in the thinking category. Women think but then it's done and over with. We've laid out our plans and gone on with life. Dudes can never let anything rest.
Tell me this? How are these humans I've aptly named dudes, the superior species? Annoying, isn't it?
I've discovered a catch phrase that I use quite often. "Get over it!" I say it to my daughter, M, all the time. She got into a fight last night with my husband, her daddy. Oh it was a doozy. M mouthed off to her dad and her dad went off! I have to admit, M deserved it. No 12 year old should talk like that to an adult. And trust me, you don't talk like that to my husband, the asshole. I've mentioned before that it's always a battle of wits and pride with that man. Add the fact that a 12 year old had backed him in the corner? Freaking mayhem. The sad thing is, my daughter has the same kind of attitude problem as my husband. She's stubborn and by god, she isn't going to admit it. Welcome to my life people....I gave birth to a female asshole. At the end of the day though, all I want to say and all I can say is, "Get over it!"
Because truly, get over it! Like last night, something highly annoying was...well, annoying me. Oh it was pathetic and ridiculous but it was really annoying me. This morning....okay, I'll admit, it's still annoying me but I'm gonna take my own advice and get over it. Trust me, I'm so much smarter than to let something pathetic and ridiculous annoy me more than a couple days. It's not worth my time. See? We truly are the superior species here. :)
Tuesday Carpool was a little somber today. It's almost over guys and we're all getting a little sad.
E was especially quiet this morning and I finally broached the subject.
Me: What's up E? You're so quiet.
E: I'm a little worried about something.
Me: Worried about what? You're 12.
E: I'm worried about my surgery.
Everybody: SURGERY???
Me: Surgery for what sweetie?
E: Um....er....::blushing::
Me: Oh jeez, you're gonna make me drag it out of you, aren't you?
E: I don't know how to explain it.
Me: Are you getting your tonsils taken out?
E: Nope.
Me: Adenoids?
E: Nope.
Me: Hair transplant?
E: Aim lower.
Me: Appendix?
E: ::blushing:: Lower.
Me: Um....er....your "no-no" box? ::snort::
E: Yes! I told M about it.
M (daughter): No you didn't! I would've remembered a conversation we had about you and your "no-no" square.
Me: Oh shit, that description keeps getting funnier and funnier. "No-no" square?
E: I did too tell you. Nice to know, my impending death by surgery wasn't anything for you to pay attention to.
M (daughter): E, I swear, I don't think you told me.
E: I did, now can we just drop it?
Me: Consider it dropped....wait....is that why you're having surgery? Something didn't "drop?"
E: ::groan:: This is going down as my worst day EVER!
Me: Oh sweetie, you're going to be fine. How many times have I opened the door practically half dressed? How many times have I embarrassed myself in front of you? You'd need like 15 hands to count that. We're all friends here. You're going to be fine. When's your surgery?
E: July 16th.
Me: That's the day after my birthday!
M2: My birthday is July 12th!
Me: July birthdays ROCK!
E: Girls suck.
And see?! The girls in the car moved one. "Got over it," so to speak. Ethan didn't. Dudes....they're all the same.
Have a great Tuesday! I'm off for three days and it's a wonderful thing!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/21/10
I'm green and I don't like it.
I've never been one to be jealous. I think it's a useless emotion. I guess it all started in high school but jealousy has always had a hard time biting me. I had a friend that was prettier than me but I wasn't jealous. Why? Well, I may not have been the "prettiest" one in the group but I did bring something to the table that outshined everybody. My sister was smarter than me. I "might" have been jealous with that one but I sure didn't do anything to remedy it. I just continued to be me and came out alright.
I don't look at other people's lives and turn green with envy wishing I had what they had. Trust me, they probably worked really hard to get it and I don't really like working that hard. I've always been the type of girl that rolls with the punches and just believes that something good will come my way. It usually does too.
I was never jealous of my husband and attention some skank may be giving him. She's a skank. Why would I be jealous of a skank? When good things happen to my friends, I'm always the first one thinking that they deserve it.
See? I don't get jealous. It's useless with me.
Today is Friday though. I have to go to work. My husband took the day off because our children have off from school.
I. Am. Jealous.
Now don't get me wrong. It'll probably be on the Hunting Channel all day long. He's probably going to obliterate the house and throw away things he shouldn't throw away. He might do the yard or he might wash the car. I'm not jealous of THAT. I'm merely jealous that I had to hear the alarm this morning and get off my lazy ass and get ready for work.
I'm still somewhat recovering from the stomach alien that nested in my belly on Wednesday that I spewed out in the toilet. My morning consisted of showering and putting my curly hair (because I'm too lazy to straighten it) in a clip. I look like a librarian with my frizzy curls peeking out from the clip. Oh yah, I'm a dreamgirl right now. I would've much rather punched that alarm clock with my fist, roll over and zonk out again. Didn't happen though.
I get to work with Pop Quiz Asshole again today. Joy! :)
This weekend consists of near to nothing. M has a physical for sports next year in 7th grade. It's at 9:30am. Gahhhhhhd! Hello? It's Saturday! My husband is driving to his new deer lease while I'm doing the physical stuff to sign the paperwork and install some cameras.
I'm soooooooooooo glad I have to take M to her physical. Cause I AIN'T involving myself in this deer land lease. Have a fantastic Friday people. It'll be over soon....right?
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I don't look at other people's lives and turn green with envy wishing I had what they had. Trust me, they probably worked really hard to get it and I don't really like working that hard. I've always been the type of girl that rolls with the punches and just believes that something good will come my way. It usually does too.
I was never jealous of my husband and attention some skank may be giving him. She's a skank. Why would I be jealous of a skank? When good things happen to my friends, I'm always the first one thinking that they deserve it.
See? I don't get jealous. It's useless with me.
Today is Friday though. I have to go to work. My husband took the day off because our children have off from school.
I. Am. Jealous.
Now don't get me wrong. It'll probably be on the Hunting Channel all day long. He's probably going to obliterate the house and throw away things he shouldn't throw away. He might do the yard or he might wash the car. I'm not jealous of THAT. I'm merely jealous that I had to hear the alarm this morning and get off my lazy ass and get ready for work.
I'm still somewhat recovering from the stomach alien that nested in my belly on Wednesday that I spewed out in the toilet. My morning consisted of showering and putting my curly hair (because I'm too lazy to straighten it) in a clip. I look like a librarian with my frizzy curls peeking out from the clip. Oh yah, I'm a dreamgirl right now. I would've much rather punched that alarm clock with my fist, roll over and zonk out again. Didn't happen though.
I get to work with Pop Quiz Asshole again today. Joy! :)
This weekend consists of near to nothing. M has a physical for sports next year in 7th grade. It's at 9:30am. Gahhhhhhd! Hello? It's Saturday! My husband is driving to his new deer lease while I'm doing the physical stuff to sign the paperwork and install some cameras.
I'm soooooooooooo glad I have to take M to her physical. Cause I AIN'T involving myself in this deer land lease. Have a fantastic Friday people. It'll be over soon....right?
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/14/10
It was a Sad Goodbye....to Friday carpool.
I still have two more Tuesday carpools but today marked my last Friday carpool. Granted, I'm probably going to see E everyday this summer but even though M2 just lives down the street, I probably won't see her. Yes, it was a sad realization. I'm gonna miss those three little boogers to brighten up my every three Fridays.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/13/10
My Theme Song
Crazy Bitch by Buck cherry. Oh yah, if I died tomorrow, it would play at my funeral as they carried my casket down the aisle. Then everybody would cry because....well, hello! I'm dead. And as they carried my casket back down the aisle, they would play it again. Cause that's how I roll.
Okay, now that that's over. What would your theme song? Would it be sad and sappy? Every funeral I've ever been to, the consensus has been to celebrate the life instead of mourning the loss. Well no shit but what about the next day when the reality of the loss hits you again. I always get hit with the realization that I can't just pick up a phone and say hi. That's what has hurt the most when I lost someone special.
Loss.
It doesn't have to be a death but in a sense, when you lose someone whether it be to circumstances or because there wasn't any room in your life anymore for that person, it still feels like a death. I don't handle loss very well. It's hard for me to let go of people that have been intricate parts of my life. I fight tooth and nail to keep them close until it's dead and black. When in reality, I should've said goodbye way before the blackness and death happened. Maybe better things might've happened if I had.
I've reconnected with so many people I thought I lost. About 90% of them are great reconnections but the other 10%? Yah, shoulda just kept on walking and never said hi. They were probably toxic before which is why they're still toxic to me. Oh and I'm not stupid enough to realize that I was probably toxic to them as well. Some people shouldn't be together when it starts to sour. Some people shoulda kept walking...shit, they shoulda ran as fast as their feet could take em.
But don't you agree that the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" of life is too tempting NOT to explore? Why do we do this to ourselves? I've never been a person that regrets anything in my life. I don't even like to use the word mistake very much either. Those two words basically mean the same thing if you think of it. But what do you call it when you wish you woulda just kept walking?
An oversight of being a stupid and dreamy female?
What if that oversight ended up hurting the other person too?
Even worse, what if the other person is happy you didn't keep walking?
Oh, I'm all over the place on this, aren't I?
Okay, changing the subject. I'm going back "home" with my family for a visit with family. My father-in-law isn't healthy and when I visited before, something told me to convince my husband to visit. That "something" was correct as he isn't doing so well. All I can hope is the procedures and surgeries being preformed on him prior to our visit fix him and he's good when we get there. I have every hope and prayer (allowable to a non-church girl) that this will be a happy visit. I also have a fear from past experiences that our time is short and our good intentions of visiting will be too little, too late. I was never a fan of my father-in-law. He was mean and nasty to everybody. In his old age, the miracle of medication has changed that. My father-in-law has always loved me from day one. He calls me "Gina." One, because he says it's his name for me and nobody elses. Two, because I swear, he doesn't know my name isn't "Gina." :)
Hold on "Dad," we'll be there soon. "Crazy Bitch" is coming home and bringing your son with her.
Happy Thursday! It's almost Friday.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Okay, now that that's over. What would your theme song? Would it be sad and sappy? Every funeral I've ever been to, the consensus has been to celebrate the life instead of mourning the loss. Well no shit but what about the next day when the reality of the loss hits you again. I always get hit with the realization that I can't just pick up a phone and say hi. That's what has hurt the most when I lost someone special.
Loss.
It doesn't have to be a death but in a sense, when you lose someone whether it be to circumstances or because there wasn't any room in your life anymore for that person, it still feels like a death. I don't handle loss very well. It's hard for me to let go of people that have been intricate parts of my life. I fight tooth and nail to keep them close until it's dead and black. When in reality, I should've said goodbye way before the blackness and death happened. Maybe better things might've happened if I had.
I've reconnected with so many people I thought I lost. About 90% of them are great reconnections but the other 10%? Yah, shoulda just kept on walking and never said hi. They were probably toxic before which is why they're still toxic to me. Oh and I'm not stupid enough to realize that I was probably toxic to them as well. Some people shouldn't be together when it starts to sour. Some people shoulda kept walking...shit, they shoulda ran as fast as their feet could take em.
But don't you agree that the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" of life is too tempting NOT to explore? Why do we do this to ourselves? I've never been a person that regrets anything in my life. I don't even like to use the word mistake very much either. Those two words basically mean the same thing if you think of it. But what do you call it when you wish you woulda just kept walking?
An oversight of being a stupid and dreamy female?
What if that oversight ended up hurting the other person too?
Even worse, what if the other person is happy you didn't keep walking?
Oh, I'm all over the place on this, aren't I?
Okay, changing the subject. I'm going back "home" with my family for a visit with family. My father-in-law isn't healthy and when I visited before, something told me to convince my husband to visit. That "something" was correct as he isn't doing so well. All I can hope is the procedures and surgeries being preformed on him prior to our visit fix him and he's good when we get there. I have every hope and prayer (allowable to a non-church girl) that this will be a happy visit. I also have a fear from past experiences that our time is short and our good intentions of visiting will be too little, too late. I was never a fan of my father-in-law. He was mean and nasty to everybody. In his old age, the miracle of medication has changed that. My father-in-law has always loved me from day one. He calls me "Gina." One, because he says it's his name for me and nobody elses. Two, because I swear, he doesn't know my name isn't "Gina." :)
Hold on "Dad," we'll be there soon. "Crazy Bitch" is coming home and bringing your son with her.
Happy Thursday! It's almost Friday.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/5/10
A Memory and Another Clue
Over the past couple of days, I've given some examples of some people that are in my life that make me who I am. Today, I'm going to share a memory, a moment, a day that changed my life forever. As usual, I'm going to initial the name to protect the azzhole. :)
It was my Sophomore year. I had been going out with my husband for a couple months. We were still brand new but a couple months in teen-land is like an eternity. I remember it like it was yesterday. A popular guy. A guy that everybody wanted had finally began to act "interested" in me. The only problem? I had a boyfriend. What did I do?
No brainer! I broke up with my boyfriend dammit! I had my eye on this popular guy for over a year and by god, if he was interested...so was I.
Was it true love? Did we bask in our love? Hell no. I'll tell ya, it was anything BUT! J (popular guy) seemed surprised that I would break up with my boyfriend for him. Was he honored? (Imagine me pigsnorting right now)
J (popular guy): I'm not ready for a relationship. I thought we could just mess around.
My response went something like this: You're kidding right? You'll never have me. You lost your chance.
And that was the day that I went from innocent, trusting Jeanie to bitchy, demands respect Jean. I could feel a switch inside me flip. I knew from that moment for the rest of my life, I would NEVER be someone that just got messed around with. I would be respected. If I wasn't, I would walk away without ever looking back. I've stuck to that rule since that day. I've broken quite a few hearts. I've broken quite a few spirits as well.
I can give him credit for creating this person I am. I wouldn't change it for a million dollars. I can see moments thereafter that would've broken me if it weren't for J (popular guy). Thanks azzhole!
Most of you old high school friends might take a guess at who J (popular guy) was. I've mentioned the story before and did include the name. I need to clarify though. I have no hard feelings. I don't harbor murderous thoughts toward him. The remainder of my high school with J (popular guy) was uneventful. We became friends. It was almost like a torture that I was always a no-no. I would be nothing but a friend to this guy and he knew it. And at the end of the day and our time in high school, it was nice to be his friend and not be another girl he messed around with.
So happy Wednesday people! Do you have a moment that changed you forever? Do you have a memory that defines who you've become? I actually have a couple but they all revolve around the fact that I am who I am for a reason....and I like it that way.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
It was my Sophomore year. I had been going out with my husband for a couple months. We were still brand new but a couple months in teen-land is like an eternity. I remember it like it was yesterday. A popular guy. A guy that everybody wanted had finally began to act "interested" in me. The only problem? I had a boyfriend. What did I do?
No brainer! I broke up with my boyfriend dammit! I had my eye on this popular guy for over a year and by god, if he was interested...so was I.
Was it true love? Did we bask in our love? Hell no. I'll tell ya, it was anything BUT! J (popular guy) seemed surprised that I would break up with my boyfriend for him. Was he honored? (Imagine me pigsnorting right now)
J (popular guy): I'm not ready for a relationship. I thought we could just mess around.
My response went something like this: You're kidding right? You'll never have me. You lost your chance.
And that was the day that I went from innocent, trusting Jeanie to bitchy, demands respect Jean. I could feel a switch inside me flip. I knew from that moment for the rest of my life, I would NEVER be someone that just got messed around with. I would be respected. If I wasn't, I would walk away without ever looking back. I've stuck to that rule since that day. I've broken quite a few hearts. I've broken quite a few spirits as well.
I can give him credit for creating this person I am. I wouldn't change it for a million dollars. I can see moments thereafter that would've broken me if it weren't for J (popular guy). Thanks azzhole!
Most of you old high school friends might take a guess at who J (popular guy) was. I've mentioned the story before and did include the name. I need to clarify though. I have no hard feelings. I don't harbor murderous thoughts toward him. The remainder of my high school with J (popular guy) was uneventful. We became friends. It was almost like a torture that I was always a no-no. I would be nothing but a friend to this guy and he knew it. And at the end of the day and our time in high school, it was nice to be his friend and not be another girl he messed around with.
So happy Wednesday people! Do you have a moment that changed you forever? Do you have a memory that defines who you've become? I actually have a couple but they all revolve around the fact that I am who I am for a reason....and I like it that way.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/4/10
Here Are Some More Clues
Okay, so yesterday I gave some clues as to why I am the way I am. There was some confusion at the end if I wasn't done. Note, I am never done. Hasn't the fact that I haven't ran out of things to say on this here blog proved I am never done?
So, continuing.
My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.
Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!
Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.
Father: You don't think he agrees?
Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.
Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.
Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?
Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.
My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.
Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.
Me: What? When?
Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.
Me: Um....cancel that.
Mother: M said the same thing.
Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?
Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?
Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?
Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.
Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.
Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.
{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)
My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.
My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.
I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.
So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So, continuing.
My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.
Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!
Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.
Father: You don't think he agrees?
Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.
Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.
Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?
Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.
My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.
Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.
Me: What? When?
Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.
Me: Um....cancel that.
Mother: M said the same thing.
Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?
Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?
Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?
Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.
Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.
Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.
{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)
My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.
My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.
I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.
So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/9/10
I'm not this important.
I've got work today. It's one of those days where you wake up in the morning and feel something ominous in the air. Ominous not being morbid. Ominous being something pivotal that can possibly blow my world apart.
My world consists of me, my husband and my kids right now. I've got way too much stuff going on to add any more people to my world. I can barely save myself these days much less anybody else other that the people in my world. Now don't get me wrong, if you're my friend, I'll listen and I'll try to help as best I can. However, let me deal with my own stuff first.
Does this make me selfish?
I would say yes if I was only focused on me but truly, I'm not. These three other people in my life are as equally important to me and I will fight to the death to protect them from heartbreak, sadness or world obliteration.
Yah, weird blog post today but remember what the blog explanation says. "Anything I wake up thinking...." And yah, I woke up to a mess of world obliteration this morning and I don't have the time or the stamina to deal with it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My world consists of me, my husband and my kids right now. I've got way too much stuff going on to add any more people to my world. I can barely save myself these days much less anybody else other that the people in my world. Now don't get me wrong, if you're my friend, I'll listen and I'll try to help as best I can. However, let me deal with my own stuff first.
Does this make me selfish?
I would say yes if I was only focused on me but truly, I'm not. These three other people in my life are as equally important to me and I will fight to the death to protect them from heartbreak, sadness or world obliteration.
Yah, weird blog post today but remember what the blog explanation says. "Anything I wake up thinking...." And yah, I woke up to a mess of world obliteration this morning and I don't have the time or the stamina to deal with it.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/17/10
Bitter Beer Faces
First off, Happy St. Patrick's Day! My grandfather was all Irish so this is my holiday too. I'll be wearing my green and coloring my beer today.
I'm a horrible liar. Anybody with half a brain can tell when I'm lying. They can tell by my body language. They can tell by the sound of my voice. They can tell by the look on my face. My husband says that I raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes and my voice gets two octaves higher. It's highly annoying that he knows me so well. He mostly finds it funny unless I'm lying about something big. I haven't had to tell one of those big lies in awhile.
I've always been good at reading faces though. I have a friend that wears every emotion like a neon sign. I can tell her a story or explain something to her and I can tell the exact moment when I've lost her. Her eyes get all squinty and she purses her lips.
Now my husband is different. He always looks pissed off. Seriously, you can call his name to get his attention and when he turns around? Children would run from the look of death on his face. His brother and I once got a picture of it and giggled like lottery winners when we finally got photo evidence at what an a$$hole he is...or portrays himself to be.
Yesterday was a calm day. I was missing the older child to a sleepover and the younger child was outside most of the day with E. E is my older daughter's age. He's my carpool convo of comedic genius. I let her walk to Sonic with him and upon returning, I was given a lesson on facial expressions. My youngest will be known as K.
K: Hey mommy, look what I brought you! (She is holding an orange cream slush)
Me: Awesome! I'll come outside with you and drink it. Where's E?
E: Right here! (He sitting in my chair drinking his own orange cream slush)
Me: Your butt better vacate my chair before I sit on you.
E: Where am I going to sit? I just walked from here to Sonic and back again. What have you been doing?
Me: I've been busy being an adult. Move it or lose it buddy.
K: Let's have a picnic. (Without waiting for an answer, she runs inside and gets a blanket. As she reaches to close the door, she spills her milkshake all over the blanket.)
E: Greaaaaayyyyyt. I swear K, you are Murphy and the law is it will always happen to you. (He hands her his cream slush) You can have the rest of mine.
Me: Oh phew! Cause I wasn't gonna give her mine.
K: (kind of crying) Thanks. My mommy never shares.
E: I never knew that. (sarcasm) We can go get my tent and set it up.
At this point, they're leaving me. Also at this point, I'm so incredibly moved by the adorableness of these two that I've got this silly little grin on my face.
Me: Bye! You two lovebirds behave now!
Where as they both turned around, looking at me.
E with the quintessential "Bitter Beer" face and K with the quintessential "I'm gonna marry this guy one day" face.
I've obviously lost some ability at reading faces and I'm storing this little tale for later when E says something witty that I have no comeback to. ::evil grin::
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I'm a horrible liar. Anybody with half a brain can tell when I'm lying. They can tell by my body language. They can tell by the sound of my voice. They can tell by the look on my face. My husband says that I raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes and my voice gets two octaves higher. It's highly annoying that he knows me so well. He mostly finds it funny unless I'm lying about something big. I haven't had to tell one of those big lies in awhile.
I've always been good at reading faces though. I have a friend that wears every emotion like a neon sign. I can tell her a story or explain something to her and I can tell the exact moment when I've lost her. Her eyes get all squinty and she purses her lips.
Now my husband is different. He always looks pissed off. Seriously, you can call his name to get his attention and when he turns around? Children would run from the look of death on his face. His brother and I once got a picture of it and giggled like lottery winners when we finally got photo evidence at what an a$$hole he is...or portrays himself to be.
Yesterday was a calm day. I was missing the older child to a sleepover and the younger child was outside most of the day with E. E is my older daughter's age. He's my carpool convo of comedic genius. I let her walk to Sonic with him and upon returning, I was given a lesson on facial expressions. My youngest will be known as K.
K: Hey mommy, look what I brought you! (She is holding an orange cream slush)
Me: Awesome! I'll come outside with you and drink it. Where's E?
E: Right here! (He sitting in my chair drinking his own orange cream slush)
Me: Your butt better vacate my chair before I sit on you.
E: Where am I going to sit? I just walked from here to Sonic and back again. What have you been doing?
Me: I've been busy being an adult. Move it or lose it buddy.
K: Let's have a picnic. (Without waiting for an answer, she runs inside and gets a blanket. As she reaches to close the door, she spills her milkshake all over the blanket.)
E: Greaaaaayyyyyt. I swear K, you are Murphy and the law is it will always happen to you. (He hands her his cream slush) You can have the rest of mine.
Me: Oh phew! Cause I wasn't gonna give her mine.
K: (kind of crying) Thanks. My mommy never shares.
E: I never knew that. (sarcasm) We can go get my tent and set it up.
At this point, they're leaving me. Also at this point, I'm so incredibly moved by the adorableness of these two that I've got this silly little grin on my face.
Me: Bye! You two lovebirds behave now!
Where as they both turned around, looking at me.
E with the quintessential "Bitter Beer" face and K with the quintessential "I'm gonna marry this guy one day" face.
I've obviously lost some ability at reading faces and I'm storing this little tale for later when E says something witty that I have no comeback to. ::evil grin::
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/10/10
The Big Picture
I'm dedicating this post to a friend of mine. It could probably apply to a lot of my friends so feel free to think that I'm talking to you. I promise I won't write a song titled, "You're so vain." :)
The Big Picture. What am I talking about? Well, I think every day there is something that defines that day. It could be someone that said hi to you. It could be someone that made you mad. It could even be a mere smile from a stranger. The Big Picture. It's the ability to find that one thing about your day that either changed you or made you stop and think. Now I know a lot of people would say that they don't have time to stop and smell the roses but you really do.
At the beginning of 2010, I decided to live my life differently. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. Don't sweat the small stuff. And finally, always look for the big picture. I've managed to continue this "resolution" of sorts so far and I hope I continue it.
I can probably count on my one hand the amount of people that have my back. They would never leave me in my time of need. They would never tell me a lie to me to spare any hurt feelings. They would never stab me in the back. I won't name any of these people off but again, if you want, you can think I'm talking about you. I don't look at the amount of friends I can claim and feel loved. I look at the amount of friends that claim me and feel loved. That's my big picture. To have somebody that trusts me more than I can imagine is my big picture.
To be able to live up to that responsibility without even thinking twice is worth more than its weight in gold. I never feel used. I never feel taken advantage of. I never feel unappreciated. I feel loved. In my opinion, your friend can come in the form of the dreaded spouse, the parent, the inattentive sister, the overworked friend or the friend that handed you Kleenex after Kleenex when you were broken into a million little pieces. They've seen you at your worst and they've seen you at your best. And through worse or best, they didn't see a difference because they saw the big picture. Their big picture was just you.
What's your big picture?
I bet if you really thought about it, it would be a simple find. You might even be surprised that its been there almost your entire life. You just didn't take the time to look at the big picture.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
The Big Picture. What am I talking about? Well, I think every day there is something that defines that day. It could be someone that said hi to you. It could be someone that made you mad. It could even be a mere smile from a stranger. The Big Picture. It's the ability to find that one thing about your day that either changed you or made you stop and think. Now I know a lot of people would say that they don't have time to stop and smell the roses but you really do.
At the beginning of 2010, I decided to live my life differently. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. Don't sweat the small stuff. And finally, always look for the big picture. I've managed to continue this "resolution" of sorts so far and I hope I continue it.
I can probably count on my one hand the amount of people that have my back. They would never leave me in my time of need. They would never tell me a lie to me to spare any hurt feelings. They would never stab me in the back. I won't name any of these people off but again, if you want, you can think I'm talking about you. I don't look at the amount of friends I can claim and feel loved. I look at the amount of friends that claim me and feel loved. That's my big picture. To have somebody that trusts me more than I can imagine is my big picture.
To be able to live up to that responsibility without even thinking twice is worth more than its weight in gold. I never feel used. I never feel taken advantage of. I never feel unappreciated. I feel loved. In my opinion, your friend can come in the form of the dreaded spouse, the parent, the inattentive sister, the overworked friend or the friend that handed you Kleenex after Kleenex when you were broken into a million little pieces. They've seen you at your worst and they've seen you at your best. And through worse or best, they didn't see a difference because they saw the big picture. Their big picture was just you.
What's your big picture?
I bet if you really thought about it, it would be a simple find. You might even be surprised that its been there almost your entire life. You just didn't take the time to look at the big picture.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
3/4/10
Why I love being me.
This sounds familiar, doesn't it? I talked about my measly biography a couple weeks ago and how agents don't care about anything like my size and weight. Oh, I ain't gonna tell any of you either. Let's just say, I'm happy with both my size and weight.
Jobs.
I have quite a few jobs under my belt. Only one of them has paid me. I was a cashier at a drug store and the pharmacist saw me talking it up with a customer one day. He said, "I'm not stalking you but I watched the way you were speaking to the customer. You seemed like you cared and wanted to help them with the way you spoke to them."
Ha! Fooled him!
I didn't care and all I really wanted to do was take my break. But it was that pharmacist that got me back in the pharmacy. He trained me, he studied with me and he made me actually start caring for the customer.
Okay, that story is over. I'm a pharmacy technician. I make somewhat good money for somebody that didn't want to go to college. A career actually. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm pretty proud of myself because those freaking tests were hard. I know about things that I probably shouldn't know about. I've worked with people that I probably never would've known had I been something else. My friends that I've made in this profession are the best. I take everything I get from those friendships and think they get something from me too.
Do you enjoy your job? Do you like the people you work with? Years after leaving a job, do you still associate with those people?
I can't imagine not having those people in my life. I love every single one of them. Y'all know who you are. Thank you for being a part of why I love being me.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Jobs.
I have quite a few jobs under my belt. Only one of them has paid me. I was a cashier at a drug store and the pharmacist saw me talking it up with a customer one day. He said, "I'm not stalking you but I watched the way you were speaking to the customer. You seemed like you cared and wanted to help them with the way you spoke to them."
Ha! Fooled him!
I didn't care and all I really wanted to do was take my break. But it was that pharmacist that got me back in the pharmacy. He trained me, he studied with me and he made me actually start caring for the customer.
Okay, that story is over. I'm a pharmacy technician. I make somewhat good money for somebody that didn't want to go to college. A career actually. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm pretty proud of myself because those freaking tests were hard. I know about things that I probably shouldn't know about. I've worked with people that I probably never would've known had I been something else. My friends that I've made in this profession are the best. I take everything I get from those friendships and think they get something from me too.
Do you enjoy your job? Do you like the people you work with? Years after leaving a job, do you still associate with those people?
I can't imagine not having those people in my life. I love every single one of them. Y'all know who you are. Thank you for being a part of why I love being me.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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