This is Why I'm Doomed.

My reincarnate. She is why I'm doomed. She's the cutest little troublemaker in the south. She annoys me to no end but makes me laugh out loud into pigsnorts.

My tween. She is also why I'm doomed. She's a melting pot of emotions that I don't understand. Seriously, stop crying already!

A conversation with my reincarnate.

K: Mommy! I read this entire chapter book!

Me: Awesome! How much points is it worth?

K: Enough to shut my teacher up about my AR goal.

Me: Hey now, don't be rude.

K: Ooops, sorry. It's worth a lot though.

Me: So you can take the test on it tomorrow then.

K: Oh yah, I'm so gonna ace that test. There's just one thing I don't get.

Me: Hmmmmm? (At this point, I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed into reading this damn book. I really don't wanna have to read a 2nd grade chapter book.)

K: Can you explain something to me?

Me: ::sigh:: Sure sweetie. What's up?

K: Who would name their kid "Cha-low?"

Me: "Cha-low?"

K: Yah, isn't that the craziest name? That was the main character's name. How embarrassing!

Me: ::confusion::realization::sigh:: Sweetie.....that's......Chloe.

K: Ooooooooooh, that makes more sense.

I'm doomed.

A conversation with my melting pot of a tween.

M: Mom? What does "Shawty" mean?

Me: Why?

M: Cause the next door neighbors are always saying it.

Me: Um.....how do I define this? I'm Jean, your WHITE mom. I haven't any idea how to explain what "shawty" means.

M: Whatever.

She walks away and I don't see her for about 15 minutes. This is the conversation I overheard between her and her dad.

M: Hey dad, I have a nickname at school now.

Him: Oh yah, what is it?

M: "Shawty!"

Him: Shorty? Who the hell calls you that?

M: Everybody does....um...cause I'm short!

Him: You're one of the tallest girls in your class. That makes no sense. And that isn't what "shawty" means.

M: What does it mean then?

At this point, I decide to call her out. Cause in high school, my nickname was "Bitchy!"

Me: You're such a liar! You just asked me like 10 minutes ago what that meant....now it's your nickname at school.

M: It is! I'm not a liar.

Me: Whatever "Shawty!" You so crazy! (I said this in my best Martin Lawrence voice.)

Dad: Oh snap.....you got schooled yo!

Me: Old school homie!

M: Stawwwwwwwwp! I hate you guys. ::tears::

Me: My work here is done. Go forth "Shawty" and be superfly with your bad self.


I'm doomed but it sure is funny.

Have a great Friday!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

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