My Team

I like to think of my family as my team. Let's just say we are a soccer team. They yell at you if you need to move. They cheer for you when you've done a good job. They stick up for you if you've been wronged.

I'd like to think my "team" thinks that I give all of that. Sometimes though, I don't feel the same from them. Don't get me wrong or anything, it's only occasionally I feel that way. Trust me, I know for a fact, my "team" has my back and they know I'm a pinnacle to our "team."

Okay, enough quotes. Those are so annoying, aren't they? I'm a hand-talker so even more annoying, I am always doing the "air-quote" sign too. Yah...I'm one of those. It's so incredibly annoying.


I'm a very passionate woman. I fight for what I believe in. If I feel like I've been wronged or one of my peeps have been wronged, I will fight to the death to defend them. Seriously, I would. It's an admirable quality but my husband is constantly holding me back. In his defense, I'm constantly holding him back as well but that's just cause he gets his panties in a wad for the stupidest things. I get mine in a wad for really good reasons.

Like when an adult yells at one of my kids.

Oh hell no! If I'm standing right there, that's my job!

Like when somebody talks smack about my husband (Who I've openly admitted is an asshole).

Oh a hell to the no! What are you, stupid? He may be an asshole but you can't talk bad about him. That's my job too.

I pick and choose my battles. Some battles are just a waste of time but when it comes to my family, that battle is always worth it. I've always been able to take a breath and relax before I react though. I am smart enough to know that spur of the moment battles are usually more elevated than they need to be. I always think before I react. (That is something a lot of people need to do.)

Case in point: We had a center line referee that was a complete tool on Saturday. I had an hour to think about my reaction before the game was over. The ref made horrible calls, yelled at our girls and then explained that he's not perfect. I'll admit humbly that I was very rude to him throughout the game but come on, I was pissed. I also wasn't the only parent on the sidelines getting pissed either....I was the ringleader though.

Referee: I'm not perfect. I can't guarantee a perfectly called game.

Me: That's a freaking understatement. You have definitely not made ONE good call.

Referee: They're not handballs if you are protecting your face.

Me: Oh, okay. But when our girl got hit in the face, you called it a handball? Didn't they teach anatomy in your backwoods school? Your face is not a hand.

Referee: My uniform is green. That makes me the final call. If you don't like it, I don't care.

Me: Hey girls? Next time you get a free kick....aim for the green uniform and make it a hard kick! If it hits him in the face....we'll call a handball.

Referee: You're about 2 minutes from getting ejected from the field.

Me: Isn't the game almost over? You're basically allowing me to go home. Ow, that hurts.

Referee: I can also ban you from seeing anymore games.

Me: Season's over next weekend. Again, your power in that green uniform ain't bupkiss buddy. Try again.

When the game was over, we had a tie game that should've been won. It wasn't the girl's fault, it wasn't the other team's fault. We had a referee that sucked. But it was just a soccer game. We weren't playing for money. It's a soccer association. The kids are playing for fun....NOT scholarships. I understand that. But after the game, I found out the referee in the green uniform was saying things to the girls that no adult should say to a 12 year old. Oh, I was so mad. My husband tried to hold me back. He got pissed at me actually when I ignored his pleas and went over to the referee. (This is my example of not being supported to fight for my "team")

Me: What's your name?

Referee: G*****

Me: Is that like Cher or do you have a last name?

Referee: It's G***** M*****. Why? Are you going to complain about me because your team lost?

Me: Um....we tied dumbass.

Referee: Same thing.

Me: Figures. You're an even bigger asshole off the field.

Referee: I'm man enough not to comment but I think you know what I'm thinking.

Me: I would imagine with the ridiculous calls you made over the last hour, there ain't nothing going on in there but crickets. But hey, good game.....would've been better if you had choked on that overblown whistle but there's always next game.

And I sauntered back over to my husband and daughter with a wiggle to my hips. M (my daughter) and my husband of course was furious at me but they sure wanted to know what I said. They sure laughed their asses off when I told them. But again, don't screw around with my "team." I will make you cry or make you look like a dumbass. It's good to be on my "team" in my opinion.

Of course, my "team" might disagree but I'd battle them and change their minds.

Have a great Monday people.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

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