Monday sniffles = excused from PE?

When I was a kid, I hated school. The only good thing about school was seeing my friends. If I didn't want to be there, I'd usually put a heating pad on my head or ditch. A note to the principal excusing me from school was usually written by me. My mother once had a meeting with the principal that produced probably over thirty forged excuse notes. The broken heart and weeks of solitude were torture. My mom had the broken heart and I was grounded for the rest of my life.

My kids today are too young to ditch and trust me, my oldest is way too good of a kid to ditch anyway. My youngest? Yeah, going to have to watch her. This morning though, my oldest, M, is suffering with yet another sinus headache. I'm not the typical parent that feels sympathy for illness other than her own. The pathetic looks on their faces and exaggerated moans and groans do nothing for me. If there is a fever, I'll cuddle and take care of you like you're on your deathbed. No fever? Forget it! No fever for M today so she's going to school. About two seconds before her carpool pulls up, she asks for me to write a note excusing her from PE.

Is she kidding?

Nope, she's not. I don't think I ever asked for a note excusing me from PE unless it was that time I sprained my ankle stepping off a one inch curb. One inch people and I was making fun of someone that tripped off that one inch curb two minutes earlier. Karma, people....is a bitch!

Back to the dilemma, how do you write a note excusing your daughter from PE? I never saw one before and I really didn't think she should be excused anyway. It's just a freaking sinus headache! Suck it up! The look on M's face was annoying as hell. It was the, on the verge of tears and I hate you, look. Gotta love THAT look! So I grab a solid white piece of paper, frantically look for a pen and begin scribbling a note for the girl suffering with a "brain aneurysm."

Dear.....PE teacher? (How sad is it that I don't know her gym teacher's name?)

Please excuse M**** from PE today. (I should've stopped there as I am her mother and that should be enough but I didn't.) She is suffering with a sinus headache and is convinced she is dying. I have supplied her broken body with enough medicine to knock out an elephant. However, if the side effects of being a twelve year old who doesn't feel good set in....just put her in the corner with a cup of water.

Thank you,

J*** Bonifacio

P.S. My number is (***) ***-****. Please call me if she doesn't survive the day and her head explodes like she's expecting.

Here's hoping M feels better by tomorrow....and of course I don't get a phone call from the PE teacher.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

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