Miserable Muses.

Most people get off on being miserable. Some can be described as pessimists. I have a tendency to be a pessimist but I'm mostly an optimist. I don't think bad things always happen to me. When bad things happen, I don't ask, "Why does this always happen to me?"

I understand the meaning of a bad day. I even understand a bad day seeming like the end of the world. It's never the end of the world until you're dead and buried though. I am not dead and buried.

One thing I have noticed is I can write like a wild woman when I'm feeling miserable. I put all the sadness, all the pain, and all the tears into my writing and I swear....I feel better. Don't get me wrong, I may feel better but the bad day hasn't disappeared. I've still woken up the next day and the bad is still there. Oh life. You suck sometimes but thanks for not killing me yet. I've still got stuff to do.

After a horrible morning yesterday that started at 12am and lasted through the night, I had hit rock bottom. I had faked it throughout the day with a smile that could've won awards. I didn't rub off on anybody. I didn't force my bad day onto others. I had made it through the day. And then my daughter, M. My daughter takes after my husband. And don't get me wrong, that's not necessarily a bad thing but it has its moments. I have key points that you can hit me with that hurt. They hurt so bad that I feel like my heart is breaking.

1) I'm a bad mother.
2) I'm a bad wife.
3) I've ruined you.

I got hit with 2 of those 3 things yesterday. And luckily for M, her dad heard the fight and came in and rescued me....or M....I'm not sure who was in more trouble actually. He did however separate us and when I was away from M, I burst into tears. How utterly ridiculous to allow a 12 year old to reduce you to tears? But you see, I wasn't just crying for that one thing. My body and my heart couldn't hold it in anymore.

So, what's the point? Well, my point is everybody has a bad day. Everybody has a moment where the world is ending. We are all human and all of that is okay. You're all allowed to have bad days. That's just life. If life didn't give you bad days, you wouldn't know what a good day was. And if your bad day carries over to the next day? Well, I always think that just means you didn't learn anything yet so life is just giving you a second chance to figure it out.

So figure it out! Cause life's hard, life sucks, life is not a picnic. It's up to you to conquer it and bring the snacks.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

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