I think it's gonna rain.

You ever notice that when it rains it freaking pours when you least need it?? God help me, I'm in the middle of a shit storm and there ain't nothing I can do about it. It has nothing to do with anything but life and money. So the best way I can get through this is to try to find the funny.

Here it goes!

Ethan is doing great. His surgery went very well and unfortunately for him...and I, I know a bit too much about his "no-no square." And in honor of Ethan and trying to lighten his unrunnable spirits, when he came to the door this morning, I answered it in a towel. God, I'm going to hell but for some reason, the peephole is blocked by a piece of paper. What did the paper say?

"Give God a chance."

Thanks, maybe another day.

Yesterday was K's last day of futsol. Her daddy went and I prayed she'd have a good game. She did. Oh god, I love to watch her play. Being me however, I just wanna watch her play. The parent's of the other girls on the team, please don't talk to me. I'm cheering for my soccer stud. So this guy, we'll call him "Buff." I have no idea what his name is but "Buff" seems to fit the persona. Not cause he's actually buff but because he wears t-shirts the size my 8 year old wears. Seriously? Your shirt being tight doesn't make you look buff. It makes you look like you washed your shirt in hot water too many times.

Buff: Oh man, K was on it tonight! (He talks REALLY REALLY loud too)

Me: It was a good game.

Buff: Good game? Oh honey, that's the understatement of the world right there! That was ridiculous!!

Me: Well, I'm just glad this is over. I'm ready for outdoor soccer already.

Buff: Oh I've heard about you alright.

Me: Oh yeah? I'm famous huh? I am a bit of a screamer but it's really just cheering.

Buff: No, I'm talking about the tube tops. Can't wait.

Me: Oh, the tube tops? Yah, I don't like tan lines. What's your excuse for that outfit?

Buff: Huh?

Husband: We'll see ya at practice tomorrow! (He's literally pulling me with all his strength at this point)

Me: Um....arm socket....need use of my arm.

Husband: I should kick his ass for being a douchebag but damn Jean, you sure know how to castrate a man!

Me: His shirt's too tight. His brain doesn't have enough oxygen to understand what I said.

Today at soccer practice? My husband decided to go and leave me at home.

Text from husband: That guy is wearing an over sized shirt today. It looks like it would fit a grizzly bear.

Me: He prolly just bought it. Hasn't had time to wash it 3,000 times in hot water yet.

Text from husband: No, I think your verbal castration clicked. He refuses to look at me.

Yah, that's the best I got for funny. I hope you all had a great Tuesday! Mine is about to be called. I'm so ready for this shitstorm of bills to STOP already! Momma needs a vacation but can't afford it. See y'all tomorrow!

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.

1 comment:

  1. My 15-year-old cat died yesterday so that was pretty shitty.