No words.....just cracking nuts.

So my phone rings yesterday and before I pressed the button, I had no idea that I was about to find out my sweet 8 year old is really a bully.

Concerned parent: Is your husband there?

Me: No, he's working.

CP: Oh, I know all about that. Is this "Miss Jean?"

Me: Um....yah, some people call me that.

CP: Well, your daughter is in my son's 2nd grade class.

Me: Okay.

CP: And your daughter called my son "gay" and kicked him in the....um....the nuts today. Then she proceeded to tell my 1st grade daughter that her brother was "gay."

Me: (GASP) Are you kidding me?

CP: I wish I was but my son just came home and mentioned it. My wife thought we needed to talk to you about it.

Me: Okay, wait. What is your son's name and clarify.

Now the clarification was who the boy was and yes, my sweet little girl did exactly what he said.

Me: I assure you, I am going to take care of this immediately.

Oh good god people, I was mortified. So after finding my daughter and telling her to get inside, I asked her point blank, "Do you have something to tell me?"

Now here is my curse, she lied immediately. Her first instinct was to lie. Her second instinct was to tell the truth. Now the truth only came out when I threatened her life and assured her that I knew the truth. Then I find out that this nutcracking thing is a neighborhood problem as well. The mouth? Yah, she's been dropping f-bombs and other bombs as well.

The outcome?

She's grounded until further notice, no TV, no computer, no iPod. She will be on a first name basis with her four walls in her room until I see fit to release her. She wrote an apology note to every person she's ever touched or swore at. Oh hand cramps!

My only question?

How completely screwed am I with this kid?

Forget it, don't answer that. She is me, reincarnated. I'm so incredibly screwed.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.