It's Tuesday! I made it through my Monday with Buzz and one of my favorite pharmacists was back. Seriously, making it through yesterday was like the ultimate hill because I really only have to deal with Buzz for like 2 hours on Wednesday. And as y'all know, by Wednesday, I really don't give a shit. If you're sick and I appear sympathetic....damn, I'm good cause I really don't give a poo. Suck it up, pay for your meds and get the hell outta here!
What does that have to do with my title of Happiness? Well, absolutely nothing. I just felt like talking about the mundane things that make me happy. I've never been a hard person to please. I don't like jewelry. I don't really need flowers. If my husband bought me jewelry, I'd check his cock for a disease. I swear I would. Cause there is absolutely no reason to buy me that shit. It's just a waste of time. I've got a wedding ring, my grandmother's ruby ring and my ring with my daughters' birthstone. I can't wear earrings because they get infected when I do. Necklaces are just annoying unless I'm trying to be fancy....and honestly, how fancy is a tube top or a tank top?
I got some sun on my face this weekend. Granted, I was wearing sunglasses so in reality, my face just appears dirty but I know it's a tan. A little color on my pasty white skin makes me happy. NOT a tan I got from a tanning bed or a spray. A real tan. The kinda tan that looks healthy. The kinda tan that tightens your skin a little making you appear 5lbs lighter. Yah, that kinda tan makes me happy. I could sit in the sun and feel like a million bucks. The cool breeze that happens in Texas over spring blowing your hair in a way. Damn, I'm kinda turning myself on here. Love the sun. I've missed the sun. But you can feel it in the air, Spring has sprung and Jeanie's about to be very happy. Tube tops, tank tops, spring dresses and my favorite black flip flops are the choice. That is my kind of happiness.
Now how hard is that? Extremely difficult when it's freaking freezing for 6 months and the dress of choice is clothes that a hobo would put his nose up to. And when you're me and desperately trying to appear somewhat sexy, how in thee hell is that possible when your only option for clothes is sweatpants and hoodies? I even one year tried to get some nice warm clothes by purchasing sexy boots, nice jeans and sweaters. Lemme tell ya, sexy boots are painful within minutes of wearing em and sweaters aren't very warm unless you've got a nice coat overtop of it. That's another thing, I've never owned a coat that kept me warm.
So anywho, yet another post about nothing with a large side of whine. So in closing, I give you my list of happiness.
1) The sun.
2) Red Bull.
3) My couch.
4) My black Nike flip flops.
5) My iPod and an empty house so I can dance my ass off in private.
6) General Hospital
7) A nice patio chair with a patio table to put my feet up on.
Oh and of course my family and friends. :) I hope you all have a great Tuesday. I will be spending the day with one of my favorite pharmacists.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label tube tops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tube tops. Show all posts
7/1/10
Sometimes you just gotta say it.
What is your catch phrase? Everybody has one and they don't even realize it. It's the phrase that gets you through the day. It gets your through a moment. Shit, it gets you through life. I never realized mine until recently. It's foul but it encompasses me like a tight tube top on a hot summer day.
Fuck it.
It seems like whenever I'm feeling scared or blue, it works. Fuck it. Whether it be that leap into the unknown or the skip into something sinful. Fuck it.
It's like you're standing on a bridge attached to a bungee cord contemplating your life. Do you jump? Do you stand there like an idiot? Nope, fuck it. You only live once and there is never a do over in life. Just jump already.
If there is one thing I've learned and held on to so tightly is, my actions are mine. Sure they might effect the people around me but they're still mine. The way my actions effect other people is their own choice. I have absolutely no rights to how they feel. All I can worry about is my own. Some might say that's selfish because I'm a parent and my actions reflect off my kids but seriously, it's still my decision to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my decisions don't kill my kids, I feel pretty comfortable with my view on life.
Before I was married with kids, my catch phrase was so much fun. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't do death defying acts or anything but I did swallow any fear that might've held me back. Being married with kids, my catch phrase is still somewhat fun. It's just not that life altering. It could just be the simple act of telling a perfect stranger off for staring at my tits....or just staring at me in general. I feel that it is my duty to leave a lasting impression on anybody that injects themselves into my life.
I've always been brutally honest in life. Don't get me wrong, I lie to save my ass sometimes but I've always been a horrible liar. Maybe that's why I embrace honesty. Cause I suck at being devious. And when I say honesty, I'm just meaning saying what's on my mind at the moment it enters my mind. I don't chew on anything. I spit it out. If you're bugging the shit out of me, you're gonna know it. If you look like shit in an outfit, I'm probably going to say it. If you've hurt me, believe me, you're gonna get a hot cup of reality from me.
Fuck it.
What's your catch phrase for life? Did you know you had one? Have a great Thursday. Weekend is almost here!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Fuck it.
It seems like whenever I'm feeling scared or blue, it works. Fuck it. Whether it be that leap into the unknown or the skip into something sinful. Fuck it.
It's like you're standing on a bridge attached to a bungee cord contemplating your life. Do you jump? Do you stand there like an idiot? Nope, fuck it. You only live once and there is never a do over in life. Just jump already.
If there is one thing I've learned and held on to so tightly is, my actions are mine. Sure they might effect the people around me but they're still mine. The way my actions effect other people is their own choice. I have absolutely no rights to how they feel. All I can worry about is my own. Some might say that's selfish because I'm a parent and my actions reflect off my kids but seriously, it's still my decision to do whatever the hell I want. As long as my decisions don't kill my kids, I feel pretty comfortable with my view on life.
Before I was married with kids, my catch phrase was so much fun. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't do death defying acts or anything but I did swallow any fear that might've held me back. Being married with kids, my catch phrase is still somewhat fun. It's just not that life altering. It could just be the simple act of telling a perfect stranger off for staring at my tits....or just staring at me in general. I feel that it is my duty to leave a lasting impression on anybody that injects themselves into my life.
I've always been brutally honest in life. Don't get me wrong, I lie to save my ass sometimes but I've always been a horrible liar. Maybe that's why I embrace honesty. Cause I suck at being devious. And when I say honesty, I'm just meaning saying what's on my mind at the moment it enters my mind. I don't chew on anything. I spit it out. If you're bugging the shit out of me, you're gonna know it. If you look like shit in an outfit, I'm probably going to say it. If you've hurt me, believe me, you're gonna get a hot cup of reality from me.
Fuck it.
What's your catch phrase for life? Did you know you had one? Have a great Thursday. Weekend is almost here!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/1/10
I Pity the Fool.
I'm talking about my husband (the asshole). He's been so strong through this whole ordeal and even though I put on a front, this has been a little difficult to keep the strength. Don't get me wrong, his strength is kind of annoying but most of the time, it's welcomed with relief. Trust me, I can't reassure everybody in this house. Sometimes I need a little reassurance and my husband is doing a pretty good job doing it.
However! He has his moments too. He's almost clueless to the expense of this adventure we're on. When I seem stressed or overwhelmed, he thinks it's an overreaction of sorts. And before everybody jumps on him, I need to relay that this is probably as stressful or overwhelming to him....he's just not going to admit it. He's a dude. He's Mr. Fix-it. Men have to fix everything even when everything isn't fixable. An admission from me that I'm scared prompts an ensemble of him trying to tell me to stop being scared. When all I really wanna do is admit that I'm scared. I don't want to fix it. I just want to say it out loud.
Like last night. M and I are getting her school snacks and bags ready. It requires a lot of thought because we have to document what each carb count is for each food. And M has to think about if the snack is gonna satisfy her hunger.
Husband: You're not gonna be stressing out tomorrow, are you?
Me: ::rolling my eyes:: Uh.....yah!
Husband: Why? It's just school. She doesn't have to do anything strenuous or anything.
Me: I don't give a shit! I'm dropping your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter off at school....into the hands of practically strangers, hoping they don't kill her. Excuse the hell outta me for being a little stressed.
Husband: You just need to calm down. You keep acting like something is stressful, you're gonna stress your daughter out.
Now all of this is being discussed in front of M. If he hadn't had opened his big fat dude mouth, M wouldn't have known I was stressed. I was perfectly fine before Mr. Calm started talking. So for reals, if you just let me do what I do and be quiet, we won't have a problem. Dudes. Clueless idiots that think their dicks fix-all.
But I pity him at the end of the day. It must be difficult to ALWAYS be strong. He knows me and knows that if I'm not working properly.....NOTHING works properly. If I break or shut down, this whole system goes to shit. So on top of being the constant strength and organizer, he has to make sure his wife has all her batteries. So I might be on edge and bite his head off a little more than usual, at the end of the day, I appreciate him more than he'll ever realize.
My only problem? I ain't gonna tell him too much because if I say anything, he'll see it as a weakness he has to fix. Annnnnnnd, I don't need to be fixed. So don't tell him I said this. I'll tell him in my own way. :)
Have a great Tuesday people! M got to school just fine this morning. It was a little embarrassing walking in with mom but I didn't wear a tube top.
Carpool Convo
Me: Everybody excited about school being out in 3 days?
Everybody: YES!!!!
Me: Y'all ready for your tests?
M2: I have all my tests on Wednesday. Today and Thursday is gonna be GREAT!
E: How do you know what days your tests are on?
M (daughter): Don't you have your schedule?
E: There was a schedule?
Me: Oh good god! E! How do you know what to study for the night before?
E: I don't study.
Me: Good luck with that. I've gotta park today and walk Megan in. You guys okay with walking with a mom into school?
M2: I don't care.
We park and get out of the car. M2 bolts! I look at Ethan and smile.
Me: I guess M2 decided she cared.
E: I don't. I'll walk in with ya.
M (daughter): Mom? Can you hold this bag?
E: I'll hold it. What it is?
M (daughter): It's my bag with insulin in it.
E: Awesome....I'm like a doctor.
Me: Nah, you're more like an IV pole. :)
We walk by the principal and he recognizes me from last week.
Principal: Hi Mrs. Bonifacio. How's Megan doing today?
E: She's standing right here. Why don't you ask her yourself?
Me: ::snort:: She doing great. Thanks for asking.
M (daughter): Great, now the principal knows me.
E: No he doesn't. He was too busy looking at your mom.
Me: E!
E: What? Good thinking on NOT wearing a tube top this morning. Although the tank top obviously has the same effect.
Me: Shut it E.
We get to the door and E opens it for us. I put my hand on his head and smile.
Me: You're really the sweetest, you know that?
E: Well, I'd do anything for you guys. Well, maybe not anything for K (younger daughter) cause she's kinda crazy. But you and M, anything.
M (daughter): I'll see ya at lunch E.
E: I'll save you a seat.
Me: ((tear))
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
However! He has his moments too. He's almost clueless to the expense of this adventure we're on. When I seem stressed or overwhelmed, he thinks it's an overreaction of sorts. And before everybody jumps on him, I need to relay that this is probably as stressful or overwhelming to him....he's just not going to admit it. He's a dude. He's Mr. Fix-it. Men have to fix everything even when everything isn't fixable. An admission from me that I'm scared prompts an ensemble of him trying to tell me to stop being scared. When all I really wanna do is admit that I'm scared. I don't want to fix it. I just want to say it out loud.
Like last night. M and I are getting her school snacks and bags ready. It requires a lot of thought because we have to document what each carb count is for each food. And M has to think about if the snack is gonna satisfy her hunger.
Husband: You're not gonna be stressing out tomorrow, are you?
Me: ::rolling my eyes:: Uh.....yah!
Husband: Why? It's just school. She doesn't have to do anything strenuous or anything.
Me: I don't give a shit! I'm dropping your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter off at school....into the hands of practically strangers, hoping they don't kill her. Excuse the hell outta me for being a little stressed.
Husband: You just need to calm down. You keep acting like something is stressful, you're gonna stress your daughter out.
Now all of this is being discussed in front of M. If he hadn't had opened his big fat dude mouth, M wouldn't have known I was stressed. I was perfectly fine before Mr. Calm started talking. So for reals, if you just let me do what I do and be quiet, we won't have a problem. Dudes. Clueless idiots that think their dicks fix-all.
But I pity him at the end of the day. It must be difficult to ALWAYS be strong. He knows me and knows that if I'm not working properly.....NOTHING works properly. If I break or shut down, this whole system goes to shit. So on top of being the constant strength and organizer, he has to make sure his wife has all her batteries. So I might be on edge and bite his head off a little more than usual, at the end of the day, I appreciate him more than he'll ever realize.
My only problem? I ain't gonna tell him too much because if I say anything, he'll see it as a weakness he has to fix. Annnnnnnd, I don't need to be fixed. So don't tell him I said this. I'll tell him in my own way. :)
Have a great Tuesday people! M got to school just fine this morning. It was a little embarrassing walking in with mom but I didn't wear a tube top.
Carpool Convo
Me: Everybody excited about school being out in 3 days?
Everybody: YES!!!!
Me: Y'all ready for your tests?
M2: I have all my tests on Wednesday. Today and Thursday is gonna be GREAT!
E: How do you know what days your tests are on?
M (daughter): Don't you have your schedule?
E: There was a schedule?
Me: Oh good god! E! How do you know what to study for the night before?
E: I don't study.
Me: Good luck with that. I've gotta park today and walk Megan in. You guys okay with walking with a mom into school?
M2: I don't care.
We park and get out of the car. M2 bolts! I look at Ethan and smile.
Me: I guess M2 decided she cared.
E: I don't. I'll walk in with ya.
M (daughter): Mom? Can you hold this bag?
E: I'll hold it. What it is?
M (daughter): It's my bag with insulin in it.
E: Awesome....I'm like a doctor.
Me: Nah, you're more like an IV pole. :)
We walk by the principal and he recognizes me from last week.
Principal: Hi Mrs. Bonifacio. How's Megan doing today?
E: She's standing right here. Why don't you ask her yourself?
Me: ::snort:: She doing great. Thanks for asking.
M (daughter): Great, now the principal knows me.
E: No he doesn't. He was too busy looking at your mom.
Me: E!
E: What? Good thinking on NOT wearing a tube top this morning. Although the tank top obviously has the same effect.
Me: Shut it E.
We get to the door and E opens it for us. I put my hand on his head and smile.
Me: You're really the sweetest, you know that?
E: Well, I'd do anything for you guys. Well, maybe not anything for K (younger daughter) cause she's kinda crazy. But you and M, anything.
M (daughter): I'll see ya at lunch E.
E: I'll save you a seat.
Me: ((tear))
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/14/10
It was a Sad Goodbye....to Friday carpool.
I still have two more Tuesday carpools but today marked my last Friday carpool. Granted, I'm probably going to see E everyday this summer but even though M2 just lives down the street, I probably won't see her. Yes, it was a sad realization. I'm gonna miss those three little boogers to brighten up my every three Fridays.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Me: Hey yo M2!
M2: Hello!
Me: Any plans this weekend?
M2: My dad and brothers are going on a father/son camp out tonight so my mom and I are gonna do something girly tonight.
Me: Oh yah? Punishment over?
M2: It is for me. I've got plans this weekend with my friends and even my parents can't ruin it.
Me: There's the spirit.
::Ethan gets in the car::
Me: Hey yo E!
E: Helllloooooo Miss Jean.
M2: What are you doing this weekend?
E: Nothing exciting.
M2: Aren't you going on the father/son camp out?
E: Oh....yah. I'm going on the father/son camp out.
Me: There's the excitement of a 12 year old I love to see.
E: Oh, it'll be fun. I just kinda wish we had a weekend where we didn't have anything to do.
Me: Well, I have some bad news this morning.
Boogers: What?
Me: It's our last Friday carpool together.
M2: Awwwww, it is! But we still have two more Tuesdays left together.
E: And you dressed for the occasion too.
Me: Nah, I just put on yesterday's clothes.
E: Annnnnnd yesterday's clothes was a tube top thank God.
M2: I'm kinda gonna miss your tube tops too Miss Jean.
M (daughter): Over the summer? That's all my mom wears in the summer.
E: I love summertime.
Me: Me too.
M2: Hey M (daughter), you should take swim team, then we can still do carpool.
Me: What time is swim team?
E: 5:30am.
Me: It was nice carpooling your asses...see ya next year!
Because it might've been a sad goodbye but it was a goodbye. Miss Jean doesn't do anything before 6am.
Have a fantastic Friday! I hope your weekend is great and your Monday is slow to show up.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/1/10
Monkeys, Emu's....and Tube Tops? Oh my!
Sorry this is a little late in the day but I had a 2nd grade field trip today and there was no time to write. I'm back though and boy, do I need a hysterectomy STAT! Kids are priceless....which to me means you wouldn't pay a penny for em if you didn't give birth to them. Shoot, I would probably bargain a 2 for 1 on my own two kids come to think of it. Anyway, field trip was good. We went to the zoo so we had about 3 hours to cover an area that takes about 8 hours to see everything.
First order of business? Bathroom. Second order of business? Lunch. Yes, it was only 10:30am but I wasn't going to carry around those sack lunches for 2 hours. Yah, I'm that kind of mom.
We set out on our way after about 45 minutes of slow eating. Jeez, my kids inhale their food. The two kids I was in charge of decided to slowly chew their food.
Hello? We've got a zoo to wander around!
As we walked around the zoo, some conversations began that set up for some confusion at who these kids were.
"I smell animal poop!"
Um....ya think? God didn't forget to give these kids brains thank goodness.
"Uh-ah-ah-eh-uh! I can speak monkey!"
Really? Well how do you say, "Move your ass kid because you walk like a turtle on crutches!"
"Can we feed the animals without getting slobber on us?"
Well jeez kid, I don't know. Can you manage to eat your applesauce without dropping it on your lap? No? Well it's probably a good guess an animal won't be careful either.
"I want to buy a bug with my credits. I want this wasp."
Um....K? Do you think you can possibly purchase another disgusting insect that doesn't make me cower in fear like an epileptic on crack? Yes? Thanks. You're the best!
"My shorts are dripping and making my shoes wet."
Well Einstein, when I said to not get your clothes wet...did ya think I meant that other person's clothes? Deal with it....your feet probably need cleaning anyway stinky!
Yep, it was a freaking super fantastic day with 2nd graders today and I lived to tell the tale.
One last thing though. It is the 3rd day of sunshine. It is also the 3rd day of me wearing a tube top. I'm getting quite the tan on my chest and shoulders. Oh yes people, Jeanie is back and she's coming back with a tan. My last thing isn't about my tan though. It's about my tube tops. Mom's hate me. They never really say anything. They say it with their eyes. They loathe me.
I'd like to take this moment to say, "Hey tube top hating moms, bite me. You can't wear tube tops? I'm so sorry about that but don't glare at me with your jealous eyes because of your downfall. Seriously, bite me. And while you're biting me....kiss my ass too. I don't think I'm better than you. I don't wear a tube top so your husband can drool over me. I like tube tops. They are my bread and butter. You don't like it....again.....bite me and kiss my ass."
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
First order of business? Bathroom. Second order of business? Lunch. Yes, it was only 10:30am but I wasn't going to carry around those sack lunches for 2 hours. Yah, I'm that kind of mom.
We set out on our way after about 45 minutes of slow eating. Jeez, my kids inhale their food. The two kids I was in charge of decided to slowly chew their food.
Hello? We've got a zoo to wander around!
As we walked around the zoo, some conversations began that set up for some confusion at who these kids were.
"I smell animal poop!"
Um....ya think? God didn't forget to give these kids brains thank goodness.
"Uh-ah-ah-eh-uh! I can speak monkey!"
Really? Well how do you say, "Move your ass kid because you walk like a turtle on crutches!"
"Can we feed the animals without getting slobber on us?"
Well jeez kid, I don't know. Can you manage to eat your applesauce without dropping it on your lap? No? Well it's probably a good guess an animal won't be careful either.
"I want to buy a bug with my credits. I want this wasp."
Um....K? Do you think you can possibly purchase another disgusting insect that doesn't make me cower in fear like an epileptic on crack? Yes? Thanks. You're the best!
"My shorts are dripping and making my shoes wet."
Well Einstein, when I said to not get your clothes wet...did ya think I meant that other person's clothes? Deal with it....your feet probably need cleaning anyway stinky!
Yep, it was a freaking super fantastic day with 2nd graders today and I lived to tell the tale.
One last thing though. It is the 3rd day of sunshine. It is also the 3rd day of me wearing a tube top. I'm getting quite the tan on my chest and shoulders. Oh yes people, Jeanie is back and she's coming back with a tan. My last thing isn't about my tan though. It's about my tube tops. Mom's hate me. They never really say anything. They say it with their eyes. They loathe me.
I'd like to take this moment to say, "Hey tube top hating moms, bite me. You can't wear tube tops? I'm so sorry about that but don't glare at me with your jealous eyes because of your downfall. Seriously, bite me. And while you're biting me....kiss my ass too. I don't think I'm better than you. I don't wear a tube top so your husband can drool over me. I like tube tops. They are my bread and butter. You don't like it....again.....bite me and kiss my ass."
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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