I've got a plan for everything. I'm not an organized woman by any means. I have a disorganized system but it works. My husband has OCD though. He'll notice if his desk drawer has been opened. It's highly annoying but even more annoying is I know this about him. You'd think after 20 years together I would remember to put everything back the way it was to avoid the dreaded question. "Who was going through my stuff?"
My kids are pigs. They don't have a plan to save their life. Well, unless if their plan is to live like pigs so nobody is the wiser. They're probably conniving a plan to rule the world through their pigginess. I doubt it though.
So every morning, I wake the pigs up and lay out their to do's of the morning. It isn't a difficult to do or anything.
1) Get up.
2) Eat breakfast.
3) Make your lunch.
4) Make sure your clothes match.
See? It's easy. Now nowhere in this to do is brush your teeth or your hair. Make your bed. Or clean up your breakfast plates and spoons. Well, my pigs, it seems need to have these added onto the list. Jesus! I get the bed and plates because they're pigs but your teeth and hair??? Hello? They're girls. We're supposed to be programmed to look good when we walk out of the house. My girls? I'm convinced they need a tune up on the girl parts.
So as my husband left this morning, he had his coffee cup in hand and perfectly organized duty bag over his shoulder. The coffee was made the night before and his bag is ALWAYS organized. Every pocket has a purpose. Every zipper is zipped to the exact location. Closed but open just a little. I swear the man counts the teeth so he knows when someone has been in his bag.
I have work this morning. The day after a holiday in retail can go two ways. Bad or really bad. I'm expecting really bad but I am almost positive I will prevail to the point of passing out tonight. When it's busy, I tend to obsessively apply chapstick. Call it a nervous tic or just constantly chewing my lip because I wanna speak some swear words to the customers. I ran out of chapstick this morning. You'd think I had planned this better.
So as ya'll are going to work as well, remember this, it could be worse. You could be my children and live like pigs. You could be my husband and obsessively place things in order. Or worse, you could be me. You see, I went into his duty bag today to steal his chapstick. He's got like three in there. He ain't gonna miss one.
::ring ring::
Me: Yes? (I saw his name on the caller ID)
Husband: Did you go through my bag today?
Me: ::sigh:: You need medication.
Husband: So you did?
Me: Yes, I stole a chapstick.
Husband: Which one?
Me: They're all the same!
Husband: No they're not. There's one that I like better.
Me: Well, nine times outta ten....I took the "better" one.
I swear I zipped it back to the exact position. Happy Tuesday but it's really technically Monday. I'm gonna apply my chapstick all day and give it back to him with a smile and possibly a prescription for some medication.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
8/25/10
It's my day off....
...not to be confused with me avoiding my duties as a mother though.
1) Wake em up.
2) Wake em up again.
3) Wake em up AGAIN by using the f-word.
4) Listening to one of em cry because she can't find her new pants.
5) Relaying that crying of pants that are in the drawer and NOT missing is ridiculous.
6) Telling the other one to hurry up and do her shot.
7) Telling the other one again to hurry up and do her shot.
8) Tightening the pant's waist that were missing before.
9) Finding one of em crying because the previous MIA pants are "itchy" in the back where the tag is.
Good lord, when does this end? Yes, I know, I know. Never. Ask my mother, she still gets to see me cry over the stupidest things. And yes, I know, I made the decision to procreate. My fault.
On a lighter note, about 5 minutes ago, I noticed a bulge the size of big assdom.
Me: What is wrong with your butt?
K: I put a wet towel back there because it hurt.
Me: A wet towel. You put a wet towel back there?
K: ::tear:: Now my pants are wet AND itchy.
Husband: Lemme see.
K: Fix it daddy.
Me: Yes, fix your daughter's ass.
Husband: Jeez K, pull your underwear up. Why do you wear em so low?
K: Mommy wears em low.
Husband: No she doesn't.
K: Do you think they make thongs for kids?
Me: Why? So you can cry that your panties are up your butt?
Husband: To many, this would be a nightmare, surrounded by women my entire life that do nothing but whine and bitch. But to me, it's payback. Handle this Jean.
Me: Thanks, 'preciate it.
K: So do they make thongs?
Husband and Me: NO!!!
I think we're both getting paid back here. Have a great Hump Day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
1) Wake em up.
2) Wake em up again.
3) Wake em up AGAIN by using the f-word.
4) Listening to one of em cry because she can't find her new pants.
5) Relaying that crying of pants that are in the drawer and NOT missing is ridiculous.
6) Telling the other one to hurry up and do her shot.
7) Telling the other one again to hurry up and do her shot.
8) Tightening the pant's waist that were missing before.
9) Finding one of em crying because the previous MIA pants are "itchy" in the back where the tag is.
Good lord, when does this end? Yes, I know, I know. Never. Ask my mother, she still gets to see me cry over the stupidest things. And yes, I know, I made the decision to procreate. My fault.
On a lighter note, about 5 minutes ago, I noticed a bulge the size of big assdom.
Me: What is wrong with your butt?
K: I put a wet towel back there because it hurt.
Me: A wet towel. You put a wet towel back there?
K: ::tear:: Now my pants are wet AND itchy.
Husband: Lemme see.
K: Fix it daddy.
Me: Yes, fix your daughter's ass.
Husband: Jeez K, pull your underwear up. Why do you wear em so low?
K: Mommy wears em low.
Husband: No she doesn't.
K: Do you think they make thongs for kids?
Me: Why? So you can cry that your panties are up your butt?
Husband: To many, this would be a nightmare, surrounded by women my entire life that do nothing but whine and bitch. But to me, it's payback. Handle this Jean.
Me: Thanks, 'preciate it.
K: So do they make thongs?
Husband and Me: NO!!!
I think we're both getting paid back here. Have a great Hump Day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
7/20/10
I think it's gonna rain.
You ever notice that when it rains it freaking pours when you least need it?? God help me, I'm in the middle of a shit storm and there ain't nothing I can do about it. It has nothing to do with anything but life and money. So the best way I can get through this is to try to find the funny.
Here it goes!
Ethan is doing great. His surgery went very well and unfortunately for him...and I, I know a bit too much about his "no-no square." And in honor of Ethan and trying to lighten his unrunnable spirits, when he came to the door this morning, I answered it in a towel. God, I'm going to hell but for some reason, the peephole is blocked by a piece of paper. What did the paper say?
"Give God a chance."
Thanks, maybe another day.
Yesterday was K's last day of futsol. Her daddy went and I prayed she'd have a good game. She did. Oh god, I love to watch her play. Being me however, I just wanna watch her play. The parent's of the other girls on the team, please don't talk to me. I'm cheering for my soccer stud. So this guy, we'll call him "Buff." I have no idea what his name is but "Buff" seems to fit the persona. Not cause he's actually buff but because he wears t-shirts the size my 8 year old wears. Seriously? Your shirt being tight doesn't make you look buff. It makes you look like you washed your shirt in hot water too many times.
Buff: Oh man, K was on it tonight! (He talks REALLY REALLY loud too)
Me: It was a good game.
Buff: Good game? Oh honey, that's the understatement of the world right there! That was ridiculous!!
Me: Well, I'm just glad this is over. I'm ready for outdoor soccer already.
Buff: Oh I've heard about you alright.
Me: Oh yeah? I'm famous huh? I am a bit of a screamer but it's really just cheering.
Buff: No, I'm talking about the tube tops. Can't wait.
Me: Oh, the tube tops? Yah, I don't like tan lines. What's your excuse for that outfit?
Buff: Huh?
Husband: We'll see ya at practice tomorrow! (He's literally pulling me with all his strength at this point)
Me: Um....arm socket....need use of my arm.
Husband: I should kick his ass for being a douchebag but damn Jean, you sure know how to castrate a man!
Me: His shirt's too tight. His brain doesn't have enough oxygen to understand what I said.
Today at soccer practice? My husband decided to go and leave me at home.
Text from husband: That guy is wearing an over sized shirt today. It looks like it would fit a grizzly bear.
Me: He prolly just bought it. Hasn't had time to wash it 3,000 times in hot water yet.
Text from husband: No, I think your verbal castration clicked. He refuses to look at me.
Yah, that's the best I got for funny. I hope you all had a great Tuesday! Mine is about to be called. I'm so ready for this shitstorm of bills to STOP already! Momma needs a vacation but can't afford it. See y'all tomorrow!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Here it goes!
Ethan is doing great. His surgery went very well and unfortunately for him...and I, I know a bit too much about his "no-no square." And in honor of Ethan and trying to lighten his unrunnable spirits, when he came to the door this morning, I answered it in a towel. God, I'm going to hell but for some reason, the peephole is blocked by a piece of paper. What did the paper say?
"Give God a chance."
Thanks, maybe another day.
Yesterday was K's last day of futsol. Her daddy went and I prayed she'd have a good game. She did. Oh god, I love to watch her play. Being me however, I just wanna watch her play. The parent's of the other girls on the team, please don't talk to me. I'm cheering for my soccer stud. So this guy, we'll call him "Buff." I have no idea what his name is but "Buff" seems to fit the persona. Not cause he's actually buff but because he wears t-shirts the size my 8 year old wears. Seriously? Your shirt being tight doesn't make you look buff. It makes you look like you washed your shirt in hot water too many times.
Buff: Oh man, K was on it tonight! (He talks REALLY REALLY loud too)
Me: It was a good game.
Buff: Good game? Oh honey, that's the understatement of the world right there! That was ridiculous!!
Me: Well, I'm just glad this is over. I'm ready for outdoor soccer already.
Buff: Oh I've heard about you alright.
Me: Oh yeah? I'm famous huh? I am a bit of a screamer but it's really just cheering.
Buff: No, I'm talking about the tube tops. Can't wait.
Me: Oh, the tube tops? Yah, I don't like tan lines. What's your excuse for that outfit?
Buff: Huh?
Husband: We'll see ya at practice tomorrow! (He's literally pulling me with all his strength at this point)
Me: Um....arm socket....need use of my arm.
Husband: I should kick his ass for being a douchebag but damn Jean, you sure know how to castrate a man!
Me: His shirt's too tight. His brain doesn't have enough oxygen to understand what I said.
Today at soccer practice? My husband decided to go and leave me at home.
Text from husband: That guy is wearing an over sized shirt today. It looks like it would fit a grizzly bear.
Me: He prolly just bought it. Hasn't had time to wash it 3,000 times in hot water yet.
Text from husband: No, I think your verbal castration clicked. He refuses to look at me.
Yah, that's the best I got for funny. I hope you all had a great Tuesday! Mine is about to be called. I'm so ready for this shitstorm of bills to STOP already! Momma needs a vacation but can't afford it. See y'all tomorrow!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/30/10
Oh there would be hell to pay I tell ya!
I'm not going to talk about Twilight's Eclipse....but it was a great movie! :)
I'm gonna take it back to the days when I would talk about my husband. You remember him? The guy who's kind of an asshole? There are certain rules I have to abide by with him. They aren't hard. They are quite understandable. Number one rule? Don't make him look like an asshole in front of ANYBODY!
What does that mean?
Well, I can't skool him in front of strangers that'll never see him again in his lifetime. Here's an example.
Upon leaving a Best Buy when we were in California, my husband and I were leaving the store. My husband proceeded to go out the IN door. I yelled out, "The door says IN dumbass!" Now this was in front of the door greeter. Whoopsie! Oh there was hell to pay for that one. Trust me, I didn't pay much attention to the scolding that ensued but I could tell from the look on his face that he was pissed.
Another example is making him look like an idiot in front of friends or family. It's not always easy to make him look like an idiot mind you, so when there's a chance, I can't help it. Here's an example.
In San Francisco, my husband asks me and M (the diabetic) if we wanted ice cream. Now M has been a diabetic for a month now. Where in the schedule does an impromptu ice cream cone appear? So what did I do? I "kindly" said, "No, we won't have any ice cream because um....god you're a dumbass." Now I said this in front of his brother and girlfriend/wife. Big mistake. But seriously, DUMBASS!!! Oh he scolded me for that one too. I think he "ignored" me for like an hour....or a minute....who knows, I wasn't paying attention anyway.
See? Rules. Sometimes I respect them but sometimes my bitch side comes out and it can't be helped.
Now one might ask, does he abide by the same rules? I think he does. I'm not really one of those people that really give a crap about what people think of me. I can actually recognize the futility of being embarrassed in front of perfect strangers and being mad about it. But yesterday! Oh here we go.
My friend G comes over to "play." That just means we sit out back drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and talking shit. I hadn't seen her since I left for California. So we're just having a pleasant conversation and my husband proceeds to come out with an iPod USB plug that appears to be broken. The casing is missing and it's just a shell of a USB plug.
Husband: Did you do this?
Me: Um....no.
Husband: Well the kids say they didn't do it so who did it?
Me: Maybe the gerbil that got out did it?
Husband: The gerbil??? No seriously, did you do this?
(Now at this point, I can tell he isn't kidding.)
Me: Why the fuck would I do that?
Husband: I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
(At this point, I've started to ignore him and tell G about the gerbil that got out. Husband huffs and goes back inside. When G leaves....oh, it continued.)
Me: What the hell was that outside??
Husband: I just asked why the USB plug was stripped and if you did it.
Me: I didn't jackass. And check yourself, I'm 35...not 2. Take it back a notch Officer.
Husband: I'm just sick of working my ass off and finding shit broken. This is ridiculous.
Me: Well, seeing as that USB plug is almost 6 years old, I think it's run it's course. Now kindly step back, think about it and I'll be waiting for your apology when you realize what a jerk you were. You'd be pissed if I did that in front of one of your friends.
This went back and forth. So my question is, seriously, what the hell was that about? I just don't get it sometimes. And I'm not gonna be all pathetic and think, "Poor me," but dammit! Was he flexing his husband muscles....in front of my girlfriend? Was he feeling left out? I mean, I've been trying to make this transition to night shift as simple as possible. I've made sure dinner was somewhat early. I've done the soccer game, the doctor visit. I didn't do those things solo to bring it up. I did it because that's my job. I don't resent it. He offered to do both of those things with me but I told him to get some sleep. Trust me, I don't want to burn the guy out with lack of sleep. I can do this. But seriously, what the hell was that about?
Phew, vent over. It's Hump Day....I'm off work and we got paid. Time to bring that massive balance down to $0 again.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I'm gonna take it back to the days when I would talk about my husband. You remember him? The guy who's kind of an asshole? There are certain rules I have to abide by with him. They aren't hard. They are quite understandable. Number one rule? Don't make him look like an asshole in front of ANYBODY!
What does that mean?
Well, I can't skool him in front of strangers that'll never see him again in his lifetime. Here's an example.
Upon leaving a Best Buy when we were in California, my husband and I were leaving the store. My husband proceeded to go out the IN door. I yelled out, "The door says IN dumbass!" Now this was in front of the door greeter. Whoopsie! Oh there was hell to pay for that one. Trust me, I didn't pay much attention to the scolding that ensued but I could tell from the look on his face that he was pissed.
Another example is making him look like an idiot in front of friends or family. It's not always easy to make him look like an idiot mind you, so when there's a chance, I can't help it. Here's an example.
In San Francisco, my husband asks me and M (the diabetic) if we wanted ice cream. Now M has been a diabetic for a month now. Where in the schedule does an impromptu ice cream cone appear? So what did I do? I "kindly" said, "No, we won't have any ice cream because um....god you're a dumbass." Now I said this in front of his brother and girlfriend/wife. Big mistake. But seriously, DUMBASS!!! Oh he scolded me for that one too. I think he "ignored" me for like an hour....or a minute....who knows, I wasn't paying attention anyway.
See? Rules. Sometimes I respect them but sometimes my bitch side comes out and it can't be helped.
Now one might ask, does he abide by the same rules? I think he does. I'm not really one of those people that really give a crap about what people think of me. I can actually recognize the futility of being embarrassed in front of perfect strangers and being mad about it. But yesterday! Oh here we go.
My friend G comes over to "play." That just means we sit out back drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and talking shit. I hadn't seen her since I left for California. So we're just having a pleasant conversation and my husband proceeds to come out with an iPod USB plug that appears to be broken. The casing is missing and it's just a shell of a USB plug.
Husband: Did you do this?
Me: Um....no.
Husband: Well the kids say they didn't do it so who did it?
Me: Maybe the gerbil that got out did it?
Husband: The gerbil??? No seriously, did you do this?
(Now at this point, I can tell he isn't kidding.)
Me: Why the fuck would I do that?
Husband: I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
(At this point, I've started to ignore him and tell G about the gerbil that got out. Husband huffs and goes back inside. When G leaves....oh, it continued.)
Me: What the hell was that outside??
Husband: I just asked why the USB plug was stripped and if you did it.
Me: I didn't jackass. And check yourself, I'm 35...not 2. Take it back a notch Officer.
Husband: I'm just sick of working my ass off and finding shit broken. This is ridiculous.
Me: Well, seeing as that USB plug is almost 6 years old, I think it's run it's course. Now kindly step back, think about it and I'll be waiting for your apology when you realize what a jerk you were. You'd be pissed if I did that in front of one of your friends.
This went back and forth. So my question is, seriously, what the hell was that about? I just don't get it sometimes. And I'm not gonna be all pathetic and think, "Poor me," but dammit! Was he flexing his husband muscles....in front of my girlfriend? Was he feeling left out? I mean, I've been trying to make this transition to night shift as simple as possible. I've made sure dinner was somewhat early. I've done the soccer game, the doctor visit. I didn't do those things solo to bring it up. I did it because that's my job. I don't resent it. He offered to do both of those things with me but I told him to get some sleep. Trust me, I don't want to burn the guy out with lack of sleep. I can do this. But seriously, what the hell was that about?
Phew, vent over. It's Hump Day....I'm off work and we got paid. Time to bring that massive balance down to $0 again.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/29/10
Exceeds Expectations
So yesterday I was pleasantly surprised with my 90 day review. First lemme tell ya, I can believe I've lasted 90 days working again. Lemme tell ya secondly, this job has literally saved my sanity over the past month.
The idea of working in pharmacy saving your sanity is quite an oxymoron. (I looked it up, it's the right word!) I'm constantly surrounded with sick people, impatient people, spazzy people and through all of that, I embrace the insanity. There are only two choices on the review. Exceeds expectations and doesn't meet expectations. I got all exceeds.
As I sat there, I kept thinking about the day my friend helped me get the job. Nowhere in my head did I think I would really "need" this job. I just wanted to get out of the house. Today, 90 days later, I really "need" this twice a week retreat from the daily grind of life. It's kind of nice to be pushed into another life where you don't have an insulin bottle shoved in your face or a sheet of paper to write down carbs and pray you have enough food to reach that magic number 85. Instead, I just do what I'm supposed to do and get paid for it.
We were quite busy in the morning in spite of a lull in pharmacy land called "summertime" ghost town. By the time it was my lunch, we started to taper down. There were no more prescriptions to count. There were no more insurance problems to call on. I got sent home early. This was a gift though. My youngest K had a soccer game, I had a family to feed and this gift gave me an extra 2 hours to get ready for it.
So as my husband came home from a 24 hour shift of regular work and part time work, I had dinner in the oven, my K was dressed in her soccer gear and I had Red Bull in the fridge for my husband later on. Poor guy only got to sleep like 4 hours before he had to go back into work. I'm running circles around these people but I've already said to all of em, "Don't get used to it!" Because I ain't Superwoman and this is going to start pissing me off soon. :)
K played goalie for her first half and played forward the second half. McKinney FC won! It was good to see some soccer again...with the buzzing of those World Cup horns.
Me: You were awesome tonight!
K: I let 2 goals in.
Me: Oh good god, you're just like your daddy. What about the 4+ goals you saved?
K: I still let in 2 goals.
Me: And how many goals did you make?
K: 2.
Me: So you made up for em. Shut up.
K: Did you see that one I made with my left foot?
Me: The slider? Yah, did you see me almost fall off the bleachers cause I got my feet tangled when I jumped up to cheer?
K: No, I'm sorry I missed that.
Me: Was Coach J proud of you?
K: Yah, he kept telling all the girls to watch me and follow me. He's gonna make me the most hated player on the team.
Me: Why? Cause he keeps making me an example?
K: No, because....wait....what does example mean?
Me: It means he's putting you on a pedestal and making the other girls feel like they aren't good enough.
K: Yah.....he's making me an example.
Me: I'll talk to him about it. Nobody will hate you baby.
K: Wear a tube top when you talk to him....that seems to work when you want something.
Me: You got it kid. :)
Have a great Tuesday everybody! I'm off to the hospital with M today for her first endocrinologist meeting. God I hate hospitals. :(
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
The idea of working in pharmacy saving your sanity is quite an oxymoron. (I looked it up, it's the right word!) I'm constantly surrounded with sick people, impatient people, spazzy people and through all of that, I embrace the insanity. There are only two choices on the review. Exceeds expectations and doesn't meet expectations. I got all exceeds.
As I sat there, I kept thinking about the day my friend helped me get the job. Nowhere in my head did I think I would really "need" this job. I just wanted to get out of the house. Today, 90 days later, I really "need" this twice a week retreat from the daily grind of life. It's kind of nice to be pushed into another life where you don't have an insulin bottle shoved in your face or a sheet of paper to write down carbs and pray you have enough food to reach that magic number 85. Instead, I just do what I'm supposed to do and get paid for it.
We were quite busy in the morning in spite of a lull in pharmacy land called "summertime" ghost town. By the time it was my lunch, we started to taper down. There were no more prescriptions to count. There were no more insurance problems to call on. I got sent home early. This was a gift though. My youngest K had a soccer game, I had a family to feed and this gift gave me an extra 2 hours to get ready for it.
So as my husband came home from a 24 hour shift of regular work and part time work, I had dinner in the oven, my K was dressed in her soccer gear and I had Red Bull in the fridge for my husband later on. Poor guy only got to sleep like 4 hours before he had to go back into work. I'm running circles around these people but I've already said to all of em, "Don't get used to it!" Because I ain't Superwoman and this is going to start pissing me off soon. :)
K played goalie for her first half and played forward the second half. McKinney FC won! It was good to see some soccer again...with the buzzing of those World Cup horns.
Me: You were awesome tonight!
K: I let 2 goals in.
Me: Oh good god, you're just like your daddy. What about the 4+ goals you saved?
K: I still let in 2 goals.
Me: And how many goals did you make?
K: 2.
Me: So you made up for em. Shut up.
K: Did you see that one I made with my left foot?
Me: The slider? Yah, did you see me almost fall off the bleachers cause I got my feet tangled when I jumped up to cheer?
K: No, I'm sorry I missed that.
Me: Was Coach J proud of you?
K: Yah, he kept telling all the girls to watch me and follow me. He's gonna make me the most hated player on the team.
Me: Why? Cause he keeps making me an example?
K: No, because....wait....what does example mean?
Me: It means he's putting you on a pedestal and making the other girls feel like they aren't good enough.
K: Yah.....he's making me an example.
Me: I'll talk to him about it. Nobody will hate you baby.
K: Wear a tube top when you talk to him....that seems to work when you want something.
Me: You got it kid. :)
Have a great Tuesday everybody! I'm off to the hospital with M today for her first endocrinologist meeting. God I hate hospitals. :(
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/13/10
OMG....99th post today!
Annnnnnd I'll be on vacation for a week so number 100 is gonna have to wait. So this weekend was fantastic. I learned a lesson in trust. My mom and dad took my kids for the day on Saturday and didn't kill M. I knew they could do it. I never had a doubt. My poor husband is on call this last week and 2 days left on it, he gets called out. Damn, it never fails.
So now we're in the home stretch of a much needed vacation. I had so much stuff to do but absolutely no motivation to do it. My mother in law is so damn cute. I called her last week to tell her not to panic about M's eating and allowable foods. So now she is panicking. I can bet she wouldn't be if I hadn't said a word. I will never learn. I think the best part about his vacation is allowing everybody to see that M is okay. Because, she is.
What else did I learn this weekend? Well, it wasn't a new lesson. It was kind of an old lesson. Never, never expect anybody to understand something they shouldn't have to understand. Not everybody is like me. I may be a selfish bitch sometimes but I have the ability to set it aside. Other people? They can't. I forgive them. That is all.
So I'll be leaving ya'll for awhile. I can't write my blog on my phone anymore...it's very annoying. I will miss it though. Imagine all the shit going through my head and not having an outlet to get it out. This could either benefit you later or not. We shall see. :)
Husband: Do I have a bruise on my forehead?
Me: Um.....I don't see anything.
Husband: It freaking hurts!
Me: What the hell did you do?
Husband: I got pissed off at the lawn mower and slammed it down. When I picked it up, the handle hit me in the forehead.
Me: Did doing that fix the lawn mower?
Husband: No, but it made me feel better doing it.
Me: Said the dumbass with a bruise on his forehead.
Husband: I thought you said I didn't have a bruise.
Me: I just didn't want to give you any other excuse to be a whiny baby. Silly me!
Have a fantastic week while I'm gone. I'll miss you!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So now we're in the home stretch of a much needed vacation. I had so much stuff to do but absolutely no motivation to do it. My mother in law is so damn cute. I called her last week to tell her not to panic about M's eating and allowable foods. So now she is panicking. I can bet she wouldn't be if I hadn't said a word. I will never learn. I think the best part about his vacation is allowing everybody to see that M is okay. Because, she is.
What else did I learn this weekend? Well, it wasn't a new lesson. It was kind of an old lesson. Never, never expect anybody to understand something they shouldn't have to understand. Not everybody is like me. I may be a selfish bitch sometimes but I have the ability to set it aside. Other people? They can't. I forgive them. That is all.
So I'll be leaving ya'll for awhile. I can't write my blog on my phone anymore...it's very annoying. I will miss it though. Imagine all the shit going through my head and not having an outlet to get it out. This could either benefit you later or not. We shall see. :)
Husband: Do I have a bruise on my forehead?
Me: Um.....I don't see anything.
Husband: It freaking hurts!
Me: What the hell did you do?
Husband: I got pissed off at the lawn mower and slammed it down. When I picked it up, the handle hit me in the forehead.
Me: Did doing that fix the lawn mower?
Husband: No, but it made me feel better doing it.
Me: Said the dumbass with a bruise on his forehead.
Husband: I thought you said I didn't have a bruise.
Me: I just didn't want to give you any other excuse to be a whiny baby. Silly me!
Have a fantastic week while I'm gone. I'll miss you!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/10/10
Shake your.....tailbone?
Did y'all know that we have a tail bone? Which means somewhere along the line, we had a freaking tail? That is amazing to me but only in the sense that we still have a tailbone of useless bones. Well, I broke mine after giving birth to M. She was a tiny little thing so the fact that I still broke it is peculiar. Well, I broke it again after K. Again, she was another tiny little baby so jeez god, gimme a freaking break here!
You can't fix a broken tailbone. Well, they say they can but that involves...um...er....repositioning it? Cue the scary music because repositioning it involves someone, hopefully a medical professional sticking his finger where the sun should NEVER shine and doing it from there. I have not had that procedure done. Trust me, this is a pain in the ass, no pun intended, but I'm not doing THAT!
So yesterday, me and the girls went to Six Flags. It was their first time and it was perfect. The lines were practically nothing. The weather was bearable with the constant cloud cover and occasional rain. We went on every ride that K was tall enough for. Only 3 in the park where she wasn't. So we'd been there for over 8 hours. I was so ready to get the hell out of there. I'd never done an amusement park without the help of my husband. I think I did a pretty damn good job! So the deal was, one more ride and they better pick a good one. Luckily they did pick one of my favorites. No wait, it was a quick decision on who was going to be where. Originally I had sat in the front, M in the middle and K in the back. This time it was M in the front, K in the middle and me in the back. Here it is!
Me: Hold on K!
K: You hold on mom, the back bounces around A LOT!
Me: Huh? {{ZOOOOOOOM}}
First turn and bounce? Yeah, it lifted me off the seat and slammed me back down on the corner of the chair....right, directly on my tailbone.
Me: Son of a Bitch!!!
How many more times did we do that? Freaking 10 more turns and slams. I had done it again. I knew it. It took my breath away. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. My mouth desperately trying to find more swear words. I'm proud to say, I found a whole lot more and when we reached the end and stopped to get out, I found my last one.
Me: Mvther Fvcker!
Oh my kids loved that one. The smiles and laughs coming from them did NOTHING for the pain in my ass though. I had managed to spend the entire day at Six Flags with no injury and the last ride....freaking INJURY! The limp back to the car was pathetic. The mini whines and whimpers incited more giggles from the girls.
Cell phone conversation.
M: Hey dad, guess what? Mom broke her butt again.
Add cell phone laughter and the day was complete. Happy Thursday people! It's almost Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
You can't fix a broken tailbone. Well, they say they can but that involves...um...er....repositioning it? Cue the scary music because repositioning it involves someone, hopefully a medical professional sticking his finger where the sun should NEVER shine and doing it from there. I have not had that procedure done. Trust me, this is a pain in the ass, no pun intended, but I'm not doing THAT!
So yesterday, me and the girls went to Six Flags. It was their first time and it was perfect. The lines were practically nothing. The weather was bearable with the constant cloud cover and occasional rain. We went on every ride that K was tall enough for. Only 3 in the park where she wasn't. So we'd been there for over 8 hours. I was so ready to get the hell out of there. I'd never done an amusement park without the help of my husband. I think I did a pretty damn good job! So the deal was, one more ride and they better pick a good one. Luckily they did pick one of my favorites. No wait, it was a quick decision on who was going to be where. Originally I had sat in the front, M in the middle and K in the back. This time it was M in the front, K in the middle and me in the back. Here it is!
Me: Hold on K!
K: You hold on mom, the back bounces around A LOT!
Me: Huh? {{ZOOOOOOOM}}
First turn and bounce? Yeah, it lifted me off the seat and slammed me back down on the corner of the chair....right, directly on my tailbone.
Me: Son of a Bitch!!!
How many more times did we do that? Freaking 10 more turns and slams. I had done it again. I knew it. It took my breath away. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes. My mouth desperately trying to find more swear words. I'm proud to say, I found a whole lot more and when we reached the end and stopped to get out, I found my last one.
Me: Mvther Fvcker!
Oh my kids loved that one. The smiles and laughs coming from them did NOTHING for the pain in my ass though. I had managed to spend the entire day at Six Flags with no injury and the last ride....freaking INJURY! The limp back to the car was pathetic. The mini whines and whimpers incited more giggles from the girls.
Cell phone conversation.
M: Hey dad, guess what? Mom broke her butt again.
Add cell phone laughter and the day was complete. Happy Thursday people! It's almost Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/8/10
Oh Glorious Day Off.
I have the day off today. Going back to work was a welcome adventure. It took my mind off the constant counting of carbs and the in my face worry about M. Now of course I looked at the clock whenever the time allowed to wonder if she had her snack or tested her blood sugar, but luckily for her, I wasn't right there nagging her about it.
With going back to work, I haven't lost touch with the modern annoyances of a pharmacy. The customers that call and drag on about what the hell they want. My daughter has a new saying for that. "Spit it out Bella!" You know, from Twilight! Bella always stuttered when she was upset. Yah, I am constantly thinking, "Spit it out Bella!" I mean, how hard is it to say when I say, "Target pharmacy, this is Jean," what exactly that you want. No, instead I get, "Uh, um, er, I, um, I." It takes all my energy not to reach through that phone and strangle them.
Even worse? I actually get to see these people face to face! They come in and they're just as annoying. Oh! And then they complain about the price AFTER I rang them up and they paid for it already!
With being gone for over a week, I'm still being blamed for stupid shit. I've got the best comeback though. "I don't know. I was home taking care of my daughter when that cluster fuck apparently happened!" You should've seen the look on my bosses, Dennis Hopper's face when that left my lips. It was fantastic! There's this thing we do at the pharmacy that's called returning to stock. If a prescription isn't picked up over a week, we need to clear the bin of it. You credit return it and black out the name and prescription number BEFORE putting the bottle back on the shelf. Well, somebody didn't do that step and one of the techs caught it. Did she just black out the name? No! She saved it to show Dennis Hopper. Why in god's name would she do that? I haven't a freaking clue.
In doing that, she unleashed a pop quiz of pop quizzes on how to return to stock. That's what I'm talking about. There is no teamwork here. There is only a game of who can get the finger pointed at them and get told that they are WRONG. What this tech didn't realize is, she potentially got one of her friend's in trouble. Not me! The other tech. Uh oh! Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut next time huh?
Now here is where I'm going to digress. Upon returning to work, I have a new respect for where I work. I have a new respect for the other techs. They stepped up when I needed them too and in my opinion, I haven't been there long enough for them to step up. But they did and I will forever appreciate that. I don't pretend to understand the constant finger pointing but I only work two days a week so I don't have to. My only job is to come to work and do my job the best that I can. I can do that.
Dennis Hopper: It's a mess over here.
Me: Jeez, it was clean when I walked away. What did you do?
Dennis Hopper: I just did the overrides.
Me: ....and decided to run the labels. Just do the overrides next time and keep your fingers off my stuff.
Dennis Hopper: I was just trying to help.
Me: How is screwing with my labels, then complaining about how messy it is helping?
Dennis Hopper: Are you using the prioritizer?
Me: I'm sorry, did you just say prioritizer?
Dennis Hopper: Sorry.
Me: Seriously, move along now. There's gotta be a report you need to run or something. Go...shoo!
Dennis Hopper: I can honestly say since hiring you, the abuse I get has multiplied.
Me: Seriously, why are you still standing here?
Yes people, I love work. It's a welcome change. Have a great Tuesday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
With going back to work, I haven't lost touch with the modern annoyances of a pharmacy. The customers that call and drag on about what the hell they want. My daughter has a new saying for that. "Spit it out Bella!" You know, from Twilight! Bella always stuttered when she was upset. Yah, I am constantly thinking, "Spit it out Bella!" I mean, how hard is it to say when I say, "Target pharmacy, this is Jean," what exactly that you want. No, instead I get, "Uh, um, er, I, um, I." It takes all my energy not to reach through that phone and strangle them.
Even worse? I actually get to see these people face to face! They come in and they're just as annoying. Oh! And then they complain about the price AFTER I rang them up and they paid for it already!
With being gone for over a week, I'm still being blamed for stupid shit. I've got the best comeback though. "I don't know. I was home taking care of my daughter when that cluster fuck apparently happened!" You should've seen the look on my bosses, Dennis Hopper's face when that left my lips. It was fantastic! There's this thing we do at the pharmacy that's called returning to stock. If a prescription isn't picked up over a week, we need to clear the bin of it. You credit return it and black out the name and prescription number BEFORE putting the bottle back on the shelf. Well, somebody didn't do that step and one of the techs caught it. Did she just black out the name? No! She saved it to show Dennis Hopper. Why in god's name would she do that? I haven't a freaking clue.
In doing that, she unleashed a pop quiz of pop quizzes on how to return to stock. That's what I'm talking about. There is no teamwork here. There is only a game of who can get the finger pointed at them and get told that they are WRONG. What this tech didn't realize is, she potentially got one of her friend's in trouble. Not me! The other tech. Uh oh! Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut next time huh?
Now here is where I'm going to digress. Upon returning to work, I have a new respect for where I work. I have a new respect for the other techs. They stepped up when I needed them too and in my opinion, I haven't been there long enough for them to step up. But they did and I will forever appreciate that. I don't pretend to understand the constant finger pointing but I only work two days a week so I don't have to. My only job is to come to work and do my job the best that I can. I can do that.
Dennis Hopper: It's a mess over here.
Me: Jeez, it was clean when I walked away. What did you do?
Dennis Hopper: I just did the overrides.
Me: ....and decided to run the labels. Just do the overrides next time and keep your fingers off my stuff.
Dennis Hopper: I was just trying to help.
Me: How is screwing with my labels, then complaining about how messy it is helping?
Dennis Hopper: Are you using the prioritizer?
Me: I'm sorry, did you just say prioritizer?
Dennis Hopper: Sorry.
Me: Seriously, move along now. There's gotta be a report you need to run or something. Go...shoo!
Dennis Hopper: I can honestly say since hiring you, the abuse I get has multiplied.
Me: Seriously, why are you still standing here?
Yes people, I love work. It's a welcome change. Have a great Tuesday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
6/3/10
Sorry I was Absent Yesterday. :(
My husband and I had a busy day yesterday. We had our first class. It was called English Diabetes 101. It was basically a refresher course of sorts from last week but I got a lot more out of it. My husband? Yah, he would've rather been home sleeping. I think it's the idea that we have to be "taught" how to take care of OUR child that he's resenting. He doesn't quite get that we actually need help now understanding. He's just looking at it like a man being told he's WRONG!
However, in sitting with a man that really didn't want to be there, I did laugh a bit more than I have in the last week. Laughing to me is almost surprising. It's like when someone dies and the first time you laugh, it surprises you and you think, "Am I allowed to laugh yet?" The answer is yes, you are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to cry and most important, whatever emotion you're having, embrace it.
So we had four sets of people in the class. We had the over protective mom that is really pissed off that diabetes has changed her life. (I totally relate to this woman but I'm not as bitchy about it.) SHOCKER! We had the quiet mom and grandmother that doesn't quite understand this disease and feel sad for their son because he was diagnosed on his 6th birthday. (Yah, that one broke my heart.) We had the couple with a 5 year old. The mom was more understanding of the disease but the dad was desperately trying to appear like he got it MORE! (He had a Northeastern accent that boomed throughout the conference room. Highly annoyed my husband.) And finally there was me and my husband. The couple that complimented each other. My husband with the look of, "When's lunch?" Me with the eye rolls of, "God please don't let him embarrass me."
Turns out, we were the misfits of the class. Go us! The question being asked by the other sets were a little scary. We were the most recently diagnosed family and their questions made us feel like we ruled! Of course, I learned a lot and left feeling like life isn't really that difficult if you follow the plan. I had to get that out because when you see the conversations my husband and I had...it may not seem like we were listening.
Husband: This is ridiculous!
Me: Oh pipe down, it's lunch time.
Husband: I hope they ask us to critique this class because I've got some things to say.
Me: Oh good lord, what?
Husband: Um....like if you say lunch is at 11:30am...maybe you should send us to lunch at 11:30!!!
Me: It's. 11:40am.
Husband: Again, if we're in a class about abiding by a diabetes schedule, they should prolly abide by a schedule too.
Me: I didn't realize you were diabetic too.
Husband: Oh shut up....I'm freaking starving.
Me: If I give you my moon pie, will YOU shut up?
Husband: I love how they're allowing us to go to lunch. Are they paying us to come to this class?
Me: I wish I brought my earphones so I wouldn't have to listen to your bitching at lunch.
Husband: Are you really giving me your moon pie?
Me: ::sigh:: If you quite whinebaggin, you may have my moon pie. :)
After going back after lunch, he conveniently forgot about the "No Whinebaggin" rule.
Husband: These freaking chairs are uncomfortable.
Me: Would you rather have diabetes for the rest of your life or sit in these chairs for 6 hours?
Husband: Hmmmmmmmm, tough call. I mean, really, it's a hard decision seeing as I've already been sitting in them for 3 hours.
Me: You're an idiot.
Husband: No, I'm just freaking uncomfortable in these chairs! How come the teacher gets a cushioned chair?
Me: I don't freaking know. Seriously, shut up.
Husband: I'm so gonna steal it.
Me: Why do you insist of making us the most hated parents in the room?
Husband: How's me needing a cushion for my ass make me hated?
::He totally switched the chairs. Then when he sat down, he moved his shirt so they would see his gun and badge::
Me: You're kidding, right?
Husband: Nope! I dare her to take it back.
She didn't but she noticed her chair was missing.
And finally, class was almost over. We could see the traffic on the highway! So ready to say goodbye to the hospital. Mr. Northeastern Accent decides it was time to start asking questions. I wish I could've got a picture but the look on my husband's face made me pigsnort. He looked like he was going to kill someone...and we knew who he wanted to kill.
Me: What are you thinking right now? ::snort::
Husband: Me? Oh that I wanna kick this guy's ass.
Me: I know, I could feel it. The air around me smelled like smoke and heavier.
Husband: I don't think it was a good idea to bring my gun.
Me: Oh shut up!
Husband: No seriously, this guy needs an ass whooping. I'm hungry again. You got any snacks in that bag of tricks of yours?
Me: I have some low carb fruit snacks.
Husband: SCORE!
::crackle crackle shake shake chomp chomp::
Husband: Oh ugh, these taste like the inside of a monkey's ass.
Me: I swear, I'm gonna move.
Husband: ::whispering:: But they really do!
Me: Your over exageration of the yuck meter on those is ridiculous. A monkey's ass?
Husband: I wouldn't even share em with Mister McI talk too much....they're that bad.
Me: I have a shortbread cookie but it's carb free and I'm afraid of the next analogy.
And then it was over. We came home and life returned to normal. Or as normal as it can be. Have a great Thursday people. I missed you yesterday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
However, in sitting with a man that really didn't want to be there, I did laugh a bit more than I have in the last week. Laughing to me is almost surprising. It's like when someone dies and the first time you laugh, it surprises you and you think, "Am I allowed to laugh yet?" The answer is yes, you are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to cry and most important, whatever emotion you're having, embrace it.
So we had four sets of people in the class. We had the over protective mom that is really pissed off that diabetes has changed her life. (I totally relate to this woman but I'm not as bitchy about it.) SHOCKER! We had the quiet mom and grandmother that doesn't quite understand this disease and feel sad for their son because he was diagnosed on his 6th birthday. (Yah, that one broke my heart.) We had the couple with a 5 year old. The mom was more understanding of the disease but the dad was desperately trying to appear like he got it MORE! (He had a Northeastern accent that boomed throughout the conference room. Highly annoyed my husband.) And finally there was me and my husband. The couple that complimented each other. My husband with the look of, "When's lunch?" Me with the eye rolls of, "God please don't let him embarrass me."
Turns out, we were the misfits of the class. Go us! The question being asked by the other sets were a little scary. We were the most recently diagnosed family and their questions made us feel like we ruled! Of course, I learned a lot and left feeling like life isn't really that difficult if you follow the plan. I had to get that out because when you see the conversations my husband and I had...it may not seem like we were listening.
Husband: This is ridiculous!
Me: Oh pipe down, it's lunch time.
Husband: I hope they ask us to critique this class because I've got some things to say.
Me: Oh good lord, what?
Husband: Um....like if you say lunch is at 11:30am...maybe you should send us to lunch at 11:30!!!
Me: It's. 11:40am.
Husband: Again, if we're in a class about abiding by a diabetes schedule, they should prolly abide by a schedule too.
Me: I didn't realize you were diabetic too.
Husband: Oh shut up....I'm freaking starving.
Me: If I give you my moon pie, will YOU shut up?
Husband: I love how they're allowing us to go to lunch. Are they paying us to come to this class?
Me: I wish I brought my earphones so I wouldn't have to listen to your bitching at lunch.
Husband: Are you really giving me your moon pie?
Me: ::sigh:: If you quite whinebaggin, you may have my moon pie. :)
After going back after lunch, he conveniently forgot about the "No Whinebaggin" rule.
Husband: These freaking chairs are uncomfortable.
Me: Would you rather have diabetes for the rest of your life or sit in these chairs for 6 hours?
Husband: Hmmmmmmmm, tough call. I mean, really, it's a hard decision seeing as I've already been sitting in them for 3 hours.
Me: You're an idiot.
Husband: No, I'm just freaking uncomfortable in these chairs! How come the teacher gets a cushioned chair?
Me: I don't freaking know. Seriously, shut up.
Husband: I'm so gonna steal it.
Me: Why do you insist of making us the most hated parents in the room?
Husband: How's me needing a cushion for my ass make me hated?
::He totally switched the chairs. Then when he sat down, he moved his shirt so they would see his gun and badge::
Me: You're kidding, right?
Husband: Nope! I dare her to take it back.
She didn't but she noticed her chair was missing.
And finally, class was almost over. We could see the traffic on the highway! So ready to say goodbye to the hospital. Mr. Northeastern Accent decides it was time to start asking questions. I wish I could've got a picture but the look on my husband's face made me pigsnort. He looked like he was going to kill someone...and we knew who he wanted to kill.
Me: What are you thinking right now? ::snort::
Husband: Me? Oh that I wanna kick this guy's ass.
Me: I know, I could feel it. The air around me smelled like smoke and heavier.
Husband: I don't think it was a good idea to bring my gun.
Me: Oh shut up!
Husband: No seriously, this guy needs an ass whooping. I'm hungry again. You got any snacks in that bag of tricks of yours?
Me: I have some low carb fruit snacks.
Husband: SCORE!
::crackle crackle shake shake chomp chomp::
Husband: Oh ugh, these taste like the inside of a monkey's ass.
Me: I swear, I'm gonna move.
Husband: ::whispering:: But they really do!
Me: Your over exageration of the yuck meter on those is ridiculous. A monkey's ass?
Husband: I wouldn't even share em with Mister McI talk too much....they're that bad.
Me: I have a shortbread cookie but it's carb free and I'm afraid of the next analogy.
And then it was over. We came home and life returned to normal. Or as normal as it can be. Have a great Thursday people. I missed you yesterday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/28/10
I promise....
...to not turn this blog into a diabetic diary. Yah, it's going to be mine and my daughter's life but as I've heard over and over this week, "Your dreams don't end with diabetes," my blog will still be here for me to vent my frustrations. And holy shit, do I have some frustrations!
Today's is a little late and I apologize. M came home today. I am somewhat happy and scared to have her home. I stated on my Facebook status update that I was the proud owner of a diabetic but with that comes my fear. I am responsible for her health now. Wasn't I responsible for it before? Well, yes, but now I can seriously do some damage. That scares the shit out of me. Any glitch and I am personally responsible for quite possibly damaging this little one. Oh the pressure!
She looks great! It's amazing how "well" she looks now. With the medicine, I actually could see how sick she looked before. Her little pot belly is coming back. Her cheeks are puffing out a bit. Her tiny little double chin in starting to peek out. I kind of missed her and it's nice to have her back.
Okay, lemme tell you how proud of her I am. She is so brave. While I teared up with every milestone of this disease, she just shrugged her shoulders and got over it. Her main complaint was being hungry. She had a hamburger and onion rings at almost every meal. Diabetes isn't about not eating, lemme tell ya! And thank the lord because this girl can eat! With my pride of how brave she is, I was also privileged to witness how strong she was. Here ya go people, take a glimpse and let her inspire you.
M (daughter): Can we go to the gift shop?
Me: Sure but I ain't got any money.
M (daughter): Not even for your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter???
Me: Not even for her sweetie, but I sure do love my diabetic daughter and how she's already using the system of guilt on me.
Our friend brought her over a gift tonight and the gift was earrings. They were beautiful but M doesn't have pierced ears.
Me: It's okay M, we can exchange em for maybe a necklace.
Husband: Oh, they for pierced ears?
M (daughter): Yah.
Husband: Well since you're not playing soccer anymore you can get em pierced.
M (daughter): That wasn't why I didn't have em pierced dad. I was scared of the needle. I guess that excuse goes out the window now....insulin shot anyone?
And finally.
Me: I gotta go pick up your prescriptions. Try to drink that Dr. Pepper please.
M (daughter): How much did it cost?
Me: You don't wanna know.
M (daughter): Sure I do, how much?
Me: $244 and some change.
M (daughter): Sorry about that mom.
Me: What are you sorry about? That doesn't even compare to the thousands of dollars these past 3 days are gonna cost us!
M (daughter): The food was good though.
Me: And I got you home safe and sound. I would've spent a million dollars for that.
M (daughter): Ohhhhhhhh, I think I need my blood sugar checked....Ima vomit!
I hope your Friday was as good as mine was. I got my baby girl home and that was the best part of this week. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Today's is a little late and I apologize. M came home today. I am somewhat happy and scared to have her home. I stated on my Facebook status update that I was the proud owner of a diabetic but with that comes my fear. I am responsible for her health now. Wasn't I responsible for it before? Well, yes, but now I can seriously do some damage. That scares the shit out of me. Any glitch and I am personally responsible for quite possibly damaging this little one. Oh the pressure!
She looks great! It's amazing how "well" she looks now. With the medicine, I actually could see how sick she looked before. Her little pot belly is coming back. Her cheeks are puffing out a bit. Her tiny little double chin in starting to peek out. I kind of missed her and it's nice to have her back.
Okay, lemme tell you how proud of her I am. She is so brave. While I teared up with every milestone of this disease, she just shrugged her shoulders and got over it. Her main complaint was being hungry. She had a hamburger and onion rings at almost every meal. Diabetes isn't about not eating, lemme tell ya! And thank the lord because this girl can eat! With my pride of how brave she is, I was also privileged to witness how strong she was. Here ya go people, take a glimpse and let her inspire you.
M (daughter): Can we go to the gift shop?
Me: Sure but I ain't got any money.
M (daughter): Not even for your newly diagnosed diabetic daughter???
Me: Not even for her sweetie, but I sure do love my diabetic daughter and how she's already using the system of guilt on me.
Our friend brought her over a gift tonight and the gift was earrings. They were beautiful but M doesn't have pierced ears.
Me: It's okay M, we can exchange em for maybe a necklace.
Husband: Oh, they for pierced ears?
M (daughter): Yah.
Husband: Well since you're not playing soccer anymore you can get em pierced.
M (daughter): That wasn't why I didn't have em pierced dad. I was scared of the needle. I guess that excuse goes out the window now....insulin shot anyone?
And finally.
Me: I gotta go pick up your prescriptions. Try to drink that Dr. Pepper please.
M (daughter): How much did it cost?
Me: You don't wanna know.
M (daughter): Sure I do, how much?
Me: $244 and some change.
M (daughter): Sorry about that mom.
Me: What are you sorry about? That doesn't even compare to the thousands of dollars these past 3 days are gonna cost us!
M (daughter): The food was good though.
Me: And I got you home safe and sound. I would've spent a million dollars for that.
M (daughter): Ohhhhhhhh, I think I need my blood sugar checked....Ima vomit!
I hope your Friday was as good as mine was. I got my baby girl home and that was the best part of this week. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/27/10
Well....what do I say?
My daughter, M, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes yesterday. I suspected it for a couple weeks now. That's not hard to admit. What is hard to admit is I was waiting until I was ready to face it instead of getting her the help she needed. :(
They admitted her immediately and transported her by ambulance to Children's Dallas. She's being very brave. She's hydrated and they're sticking her with insulin to regulate her blood sugar.
I still haven't had my moment. I was talking to someone last night and said, "I'm not ready yet. If I start to cry, it'll be too real." The reply? "Jeannie, it's already real. You have no problem speaking your thoughts....let go and let your heart speak for a change." You would've thought that would've broke me, but it didn't. I'm still trying to keep it together. I can't lose it. I just can't. That someone doesn't read my blog but I just wanted to say, I will, I promise, just not right now.
Here are some quotes from my 12 year old yesterday and some talks we had throughout the long day in the hospital.
Me: I'm so sorry.
M: Is it bad?
Me: No, but it changes everything.
M: Oh mom, it could be Cancer. I can deal with a little change.
Check her out! She's like me with her positive outlook....where the hell did mine go?
M: Diet soda?
Me: Yep!
M: Gross.
Me: Oh sweetie, do you know how hot your momma is gonna be with your new diet?
M: Yah, people are gonna ask you your secret and you can do your pose and tell em, my daughter got diabetes.
Me: Yep!
I hope everybody Thursday is good. Today is going to be information overload for both M and I. The good news is they won't let us leave the hospital without knowing everything there is to know about diabetes. I feel very comfortable knowing that. I just wish we were doing it for knowledge. I know this isn't the end of the world, I just wish it wasn't M's world now.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
They admitted her immediately and transported her by ambulance to Children's Dallas. She's being very brave. She's hydrated and they're sticking her with insulin to regulate her blood sugar.
I still haven't had my moment. I was talking to someone last night and said, "I'm not ready yet. If I start to cry, it'll be too real." The reply? "Jeannie, it's already real. You have no problem speaking your thoughts....let go and let your heart speak for a change." You would've thought that would've broke me, but it didn't. I'm still trying to keep it together. I can't lose it. I just can't. That someone doesn't read my blog but I just wanted to say, I will, I promise, just not right now.
Here are some quotes from my 12 year old yesterday and some talks we had throughout the long day in the hospital.
Me: I'm so sorry.
M: Is it bad?
Me: No, but it changes everything.
M: Oh mom, it could be Cancer. I can deal with a little change.
Check her out! She's like me with her positive outlook....where the hell did mine go?
M: Diet soda?
Me: Yep!
M: Gross.
Me: Oh sweetie, do you know how hot your momma is gonna be with your new diet?
M: Yah, people are gonna ask you your secret and you can do your pose and tell em, my daughter got diabetes.
Me: Yep!
I hope everybody Thursday is good. Today is going to be information overload for both M and I. The good news is they won't let us leave the hospital without knowing everything there is to know about diabetes. I feel very comfortable knowing that. I just wish we were doing it for knowledge. I know this isn't the end of the world, I just wish it wasn't M's world now.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/19/10
Not Today Please.
Not really feeling well today. I knew it was happening last night when I felt tired at 9pm but by this morning, I was hit with a truck.
Husband: What's the matter with you?
Me: ::mumble:: I feel like shit.
Husband: What feels like shit?
Me: You name it, it hurts. Just leave me alone, your voice isn't helping.
Husband: Well somebody needs to wake up in a better mood.
Now here's where I don't get men. Yah, I was rude but I'd already explained that I didn't feel good. I told him to leave me alone. Where in there does it say to get butt-hurt because I asked him to leave me alone? This is my life. It's a constant battle of wits and pride. I hate it. Because he felt pushed into feeling like I just beat his pride with a bat, he took it upon himself to continue the 3rd inquisition.
Me: Why do I need to wake up in a better mood? I feel like shit. Could you just make sure M is up and getting ready for school before you leave?
Husband: You can't even get up and do that?
Me: Sure I can, continue being an asshole....I got this.
By this time, I'm attempting to roll out of my blankets and a wave of nausea hits me. (No, I'm not pregnant.) So I lay back down to try to let it pass.
Me: ::mumbling:: I'm gonna throw up. Please don't talk.
Husband: Oh so now I can't even talk?
Now, I'm not even sure what I did next but it involved frantically crawling to the bathroom. The rest should be assumed. And here is why my husband is lucky I didn't feel well enough to kill him this morning.
Husband: Did you just puke?
Me: ::groaning:: Mmmmm hmmmmm.
Husband: Did you?
Me: ::sigh:: YES!
Husband: Why'd you puke?
Me: ::silence::
Oh. My. God. How the hell should I know why I puked? There's a stomach virus going around. Maybe it was the 3 Cokes I drank last night before bed. But seriously, what kind of a stupid question is that? All I'm thinking at this point is when this puking episode is done, I'm gonna kill him.
Husband: Jean, are you okay?
Me: Yes, could you just leave me alone? I'll call you later.
Husband: What's your problem?
Now here is where my head explodes. What's my problem? Well jeez Sherlock, what do you think?
Me: Have a good day at work. (I turn the bathroom fan on and drown out anything else he has to say.)
Yah, I'm not feeling well today and it ain't getting better. This tirade on this here blog has taken way longer than it needed to take because of some pit stops back in the bathroom. Oh and the text I just received from my husband?
Husband (text): Why'd you puke this morning?
I haven't replied. I'm too busy trying exact my revenge on him later for being a clueless man. I hope every body's Wednesday is better than mine.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Husband: What's the matter with you?
Me: ::mumble:: I feel like shit.
Husband: What feels like shit?
Me: You name it, it hurts. Just leave me alone, your voice isn't helping.
Husband: Well somebody needs to wake up in a better mood.
Now here's where I don't get men. Yah, I was rude but I'd already explained that I didn't feel good. I told him to leave me alone. Where in there does it say to get butt-hurt because I asked him to leave me alone? This is my life. It's a constant battle of wits and pride. I hate it. Because he felt pushed into feeling like I just beat his pride with a bat, he took it upon himself to continue the 3rd inquisition.
Me: Why do I need to wake up in a better mood? I feel like shit. Could you just make sure M is up and getting ready for school before you leave?
Husband: You can't even get up and do that?
Me: Sure I can, continue being an asshole....I got this.
By this time, I'm attempting to roll out of my blankets and a wave of nausea hits me. (No, I'm not pregnant.) So I lay back down to try to let it pass.
Me: ::mumbling:: I'm gonna throw up. Please don't talk.
Husband: Oh so now I can't even talk?
Now, I'm not even sure what I did next but it involved frantically crawling to the bathroom. The rest should be assumed. And here is why my husband is lucky I didn't feel well enough to kill him this morning.
Husband: Did you just puke?
Me: ::groaning:: Mmmmm hmmmmm.
Husband: Did you?
Me: ::sigh:: YES!
Husband: Why'd you puke?
Me: ::silence::
Oh. My. God. How the hell should I know why I puked? There's a stomach virus going around. Maybe it was the 3 Cokes I drank last night before bed. But seriously, what kind of a stupid question is that? All I'm thinking at this point is when this puking episode is done, I'm gonna kill him.
Husband: Jean, are you okay?
Me: Yes, could you just leave me alone? I'll call you later.
Husband: What's your problem?
Now here is where my head explodes. What's my problem? Well jeez Sherlock, what do you think?
Me: Have a good day at work. (I turn the bathroom fan on and drown out anything else he has to say.)
Yah, I'm not feeling well today and it ain't getting better. This tirade on this here blog has taken way longer than it needed to take because of some pit stops back in the bathroom. Oh and the text I just received from my husband?
Husband (text): Why'd you puke this morning?
I haven't replied. I'm too busy trying exact my revenge on him later for being a clueless man. I hope every body's Wednesday is better than mine.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/12/10
It Can't Get Better....Than This?
Have you ever woken up, looked around and thought, "Is this it?"
My friend did that and a year later, she was divorced. She's had her ups and downs after that day but I think she's happier for it. Her ex-husband isn't very nice to her. She always says that true stripes come out when times get tough. I think I 50% agree with her.
Look at it this way, sure he might be an asshole to her right now but she left him. Is he supposed to be all warm and gushy inside for her? Plus, he's a man and men aren't required to be nice to you if you've slapped them across the face with reality. Men aren't required to do anything actually.
I have never woken up and thought that though. Every day, there's always something new. I don't get tired of the mood swings from my tween. I don't tire from my youngests latest shenanigans. Oh and my husband is constantly changing. How could he not be surprising? He's a huntin' redneck Filipino.
I am also me. I try to find something every day to appreciate. In regards to my tween, I appreciate how she always says, "Hi mom, what did you do today?" Any tween interested in an adult always deserves a little appreciation. Regarding my little one, I appreciate how she'll always want a cuddle no matter who's looking. And finally, my redneck husband. I appreciate how he'll always argue with me about anything, no matter how wrong he is.
Him: Don't you think M is getting too skinny?
Me: I've taken a poll and the consensus is, she's fine.
Him: What's with the attitude?
Me: I don't have an attitude but it really bugs the shit out of me how if I had said M was getting too skinny, you would've told me I was being a worry wart and M was fine.
Him: So lemme get this. You're pissed that I took an interest and am concerned. That's selfish.
Me: Selfish? That makes no sense.
Him: It makes perfect sense. You want to be the concerned parent and if I try to be one, you don't like it.
Me: That's not being selfish.
Him: Yes it is. It makes perfect sense.
Me: In your world, do you always make sense? Cause in my world, you don't know bupkiss.
Him: Actually in my world, you apologize and admit you're wrong.
Me: Well luckily, I'm not in your world. It requires a warped sense of reality and balls the size of raisins. I have too big of balls to get into your world.
Him: See? Selfish.
Me: What? You wanna borrow my balls? Only if you promise to give em back.
Him: So you don't think M is too skinny?
Ah, never a dull moment I tell ya. Have a great Hump Day! I'm off to work today and really wish I was home napping.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My friend did that and a year later, she was divorced. She's had her ups and downs after that day but I think she's happier for it. Her ex-husband isn't very nice to her. She always says that true stripes come out when times get tough. I think I 50% agree with her.
Look at it this way, sure he might be an asshole to her right now but she left him. Is he supposed to be all warm and gushy inside for her? Plus, he's a man and men aren't required to be nice to you if you've slapped them across the face with reality. Men aren't required to do anything actually.
I have never woken up and thought that though. Every day, there's always something new. I don't get tired of the mood swings from my tween. I don't tire from my youngests latest shenanigans. Oh and my husband is constantly changing. How could he not be surprising? He's a huntin' redneck Filipino.
I am also me. I try to find something every day to appreciate. In regards to my tween, I appreciate how she always says, "Hi mom, what did you do today?" Any tween interested in an adult always deserves a little appreciation. Regarding my little one, I appreciate how she'll always want a cuddle no matter who's looking. And finally, my redneck husband. I appreciate how he'll always argue with me about anything, no matter how wrong he is.
Him: Don't you think M is getting too skinny?
Me: I've taken a poll and the consensus is, she's fine.
Him: What's with the attitude?
Me: I don't have an attitude but it really bugs the shit out of me how if I had said M was getting too skinny, you would've told me I was being a worry wart and M was fine.
Him: So lemme get this. You're pissed that I took an interest and am concerned. That's selfish.
Me: Selfish? That makes no sense.
Him: It makes perfect sense. You want to be the concerned parent and if I try to be one, you don't like it.
Me: That's not being selfish.
Him: Yes it is. It makes perfect sense.
Me: In your world, do you always make sense? Cause in my world, you don't know bupkiss.
Him: Actually in my world, you apologize and admit you're wrong.
Me: Well luckily, I'm not in your world. It requires a warped sense of reality and balls the size of raisins. I have too big of balls to get into your world.
Him: See? Selfish.
Me: What? You wanna borrow my balls? Only if you promise to give em back.
Him: So you don't think M is too skinny?
Ah, never a dull moment I tell ya. Have a great Hump Day! I'm off to work today and really wish I was home napping.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/7/10
If Karma is a Bitch....Her Name Has to Be Jeanie.
Okay, I think I'm contradicting myself here. I've said that I don't believe in luck. I don't believe that life is out to get me. I do however believe that Karma is alive and well....living in TexASS.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Over the past couple of years, I've been reminded quite a few times of what a pain in the ass I was as a child. My reminder is in the form of a sweet little girl. I've mentioned her before. It's K, my youngest, my mini-me. I adore her. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I tend to favor her because I "get" her in more ways than one.
My oldest, I don't "get." She's quiet, she's sensitive and by god damn, she is a moody lil' bitch when she wants to be. Yah, yah, yah....I know, a couple days ago, I compared her to my sister. I'm not favoring that comparison when I say the above. It's different when my sister is an adult and my child is a tween. I hate that I don't "get" M. I hate that I favor her sister sometimes. You'd think that since I recognize it, I'd find a way to put a stop to it. I've tried but damn, it's really hard to do.
Sometimes I wish that I could ship her off to my sister for awhile so she could figure her out. So my oldest could get a taste of what it feels like to be understood. In this house, nobody gets her.
This weekend was a weekend of nothingness. It was freaking GREAT! We had a mailbox fixed. My husband went to look at some land for this year's deer lease. (Don't ask...trust me, you don't want to know.) Sunday was Mother's Day. My mother and I put a request in and wished for my husband's homemade enchiladas. Oh yah, we got em too. Mom and dad brought over some wine and my mother and I got a little tipsy on "our" day. Our only sadness was we couldn't enjoy it with the other mother in the family. We toasted to her though and wished she was with us. If there is one thing, we are descendants of some great mothers. We've laughed, we've cried and we've succeeded through every endeavor motherhood has thrown at us. Oh, and we're not stupid enough to realize that it ain't even close to being over.
I hope everyone who has the honor of being a mother had a great Mother's Day. I hope those of you who aren't mothers, took the day to say thank you. I'll leave you with a mini-conversation between me and my daughters. Ya gotta love it cause if I didn't, I'd be in a freaking asylum by now.
K: Hey momma, what do you want for Mother's Day?
Me: Nothing. I have everything I've ever wanted.
M: Don't believe her K, she'll be asking us to clean our rooms any minute.
Me: Well, did you clean your room?
K: Good one M. We prolly would've gotten away with it if you hadn't have opened your big mouth.
M: Well if that ain't the kettle and the pot.
Me: Oh hush. Did you clean your room?
M: I'll do it later.
K: I already cleaned mine.
M: Butt kisser.
K: Kettle!
Me: Sisters, sisters, there will never be another sister..... (This is a song from White Christmas that my mom used to sing to me and my sister to break the fights up.)
M: Mom, if that didn't work on you and Auntie T****, why would it work on us?
Me: Is it annoying?
M: Very.
Me: Then my job here is done. Go clean your room.
M: ::grumble mumble:: Fine. But it is annoying.
K: If that isn't a pot and kettle....I don't know what is.
Me: Sweetie....give it up. You're not saying it right.
K: Am I the pot or am I the kettle?
M: Neither, you're a dork.
Me: Your Auntie would be so proud of you and shocked at the same time M.
And she would too. :) Happy Monday people....it'll be over soon.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/4/10
Here Are Some More Clues
Okay, so yesterday I gave some clues as to why I am the way I am. There was some confusion at the end if I wasn't done. Note, I am never done. Hasn't the fact that I haven't ran out of things to say on this here blog proved I am never done?
So, continuing.
My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.
Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!
Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.
Father: You don't think he agrees?
Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.
Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.
Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?
Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.
My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.
Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.
Me: What? When?
Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.
Me: Um....cancel that.
Mother: M said the same thing.
Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?
Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?
Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?
Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.
Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.
Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.
{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)
My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.
My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.
I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.
So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
So, continuing.
My father. He's always thought I wasn't funny. He is also the one that passed on the eye roll gene to me. Funny thing is, whenever I rolled my eyes at HIM, he wanted to slap me. One thing about my father is, he'd rather be on his couch, watching his TV than anywhere else. He has his priorities and he isn't afraid to grumble when your priorities don't match his. With that quality, he has no problem saying out loud thoughts....even though they really should've remained silent.
Father: K's coach needs to shut the hell up!
Me: Dad! Her husband is right behind us.
Father: You don't think he agrees?
Me: Well maybe but that doesn't mean he won't defend her.
Father: If he does, I probably won't be able to hear him cause his wife won't shut the hell up.
Me: You're gonna make me burn some bridges today, aren't you?
Father: I've been listening to this lady scream at K for over a year. Burn baby, BURN.
My mother, you would think is the extinguisher in the relationship. Nope! She hasn't changed a thing. She knows perfectly well what she's doing to annoy my father. She is also the one woman in my life that I'm not afraid to say no to and not feel bad about. She and I have an eery relationship. We are alike in more ways than I'd like to admit. She also throws the guilt and the little spikes of disappointment like a pro.
Mother: I signed M up for a 4 hour babysitting class.
Me: What? When?
Mother: It's at the YMCA on a Saturday morning.
Me: Um....cancel that.
Mother: M said the same thing.
Me: Well jeez mom, I'm just barely getting my Saturdays back and you're signing her up for stuff?
Mother: It's all about you, isn't it?
Me: No, it's about trying to wake your 12 year old granddaughter up on a Saturday. Are you gonna do it?
Mother: No, I signed her up, you can handle the other stuff.
Me: Of course, seriously, unsign her up.
Mother: Fine! I just thought since you went back to work and "expect" M to babysit when you're not there....she might want to know how.
{{ZING}} Ah yes, that's my mother. I do love her so. :)
My sister. I rarely have conversations with her these days. She's very busy being a great mother and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Growing up, we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate a minute of each other's company. What I've learned from her is patience. When I had my girls and realized that they are the EXACT difference in age as my sister and I, I thought I was doomed. Well, I am doomed. My girls hate each other too. Well, K doesn't but she sure helps out M, giving her reasons to hate her. Now I'm not saying this is my sister's fault. My daughter M is kinda like my sister. She's sensitive, she's smart and she's logical. I appreciate my sister more because of the similarities. I pay attention to the detail of an argument between my daughters. I make sure I don't let a fight go without consequences. At the end of the day though, they still argue, they still hate each other. But what my sister has taught me is no matter what, there is and was always love there. It never goes away and it'll always be there when you need it desperately. See? Patience.
My friend G. Oh yah, she's my little dose of crazy and even bigger dose of reality. She's not afraid to tell me the truth....no matter how much it hurts. We all need friends like that. I once got a haircut. I asked G if she liked it. G said, "Kind of but I like it longer." Well shit! I was crushed. What was I supposed to do? Hurry up and grow it overnight? But that's my friend G. She has her faults. She has her idiosyncrasies. But most of all, she has my back. She'll never let me make a mistake without saying, "I told ya so!" She'll never let me fall without saying, "You got dirt on your ass." She has shown me what it means to have somebody I can depend on. I never feel used. I never feel slighted. I just feel loved. And that is what a friend is supposed to do.
I have many friends. Friends that I've known since I was a tween like my daughter. Friends that I made promises to and still, to this day, I've kept. Friends that at a moments notice, they'd hop on an airplane and rescue me....if I needed rescuing. I'm a very lucky girl.
So today, on this lovely Tuesday, worthy of a yellow tube top, think of who you can blame for the person you've become. And for the confused one....this ain't done but I am done for today. Have a great day.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
5/2/10
It's Time to Clue Everybody In.
People often wonder why I'm funny....or a bitch. The truth of the matter is, I'm constantly finding myself surrounded with characters that deserve a shout out. I wouldn't be who I am without the help of the people that I make fun of, live with or despise.
My husband. The quintessential asshole. It's an endearing term. It's also hard not to get some pointers from him during certain moments in my life. Like the time the Market Street manager saddled up next to me and asked if I needed help renting a video.....as I was returning a video.
Me: I'm returning a video so I think I got it.
Him: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh....oh-kay.
Me: You alright there or are you having a seizure?
My oldest. The emotional melting pot of tears and dirty looks. Yah, we pick on her occasionally but seriously, toughen up girl and stop crying!
Her: Dad doesn't fight fair. He fights dirty.
Me: Welcome to my world sweetie.
Her: He purposely tries to pick on me to make me cry, then he gets mad at me for crying.
Me: Yep, you're an idiot. You've just painted your button neon yellow and given him a free pass to push it until it's dead and black.
Her: How do you fight with him?
Me: Well, sometimes I put an "Out of Order" sign on those buttons and when he pushes them, I don't let it bother me. It really pisses him off. You should try it. You'll save me some money on Kleenex.
My youngest. The reincarnate. The karma that has bitten my ass. The girl that is doomed to be cute as hell but grounded for the rest of her life.
Her: Hey mommy, I finally figured out what I am.
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: I'm filipeño!
Me: Sweetie, it's just filipino. Not filipeño like the pepper.
Her: Well, everybody always thinks I'm Mexican so I just added a little flavor.
Me: You're. A. Genius.
My boss. The Dennis Hopper of my life. The "Pop Quiz Asshole." One on one, he's actually great. Add a couple more people in the mix, good god, where's my gun?
Him: Okay, pop quiz people.
Everybody: ::sigh::
Him: How do you alphabetize?
Yah, I'm not even going to dignify that with anymore banter.
There are so many more people in my life that I will mention throughout this blog. I'm not forgetting you, I promise. It is Monday though and I have to get to work. I'm almost positive that I'm working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I'm also positive that I might need a beer after work. Have a great day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My husband. The quintessential asshole. It's an endearing term. It's also hard not to get some pointers from him during certain moments in my life. Like the time the Market Street manager saddled up next to me and asked if I needed help renting a video.....as I was returning a video.
Me: I'm returning a video so I think I got it.
Him: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh....oh-kay.
Me: You alright there or are you having a seizure?
My oldest. The emotional melting pot of tears and dirty looks. Yah, we pick on her occasionally but seriously, toughen up girl and stop crying!
Her: Dad doesn't fight fair. He fights dirty.
Me: Welcome to my world sweetie.
Her: He purposely tries to pick on me to make me cry, then he gets mad at me for crying.
Me: Yep, you're an idiot. You've just painted your button neon yellow and given him a free pass to push it until it's dead and black.
Her: How do you fight with him?
Me: Well, sometimes I put an "Out of Order" sign on those buttons and when he pushes them, I don't let it bother me. It really pisses him off. You should try it. You'll save me some money on Kleenex.
My youngest. The reincarnate. The karma that has bitten my ass. The girl that is doomed to be cute as hell but grounded for the rest of her life.
Her: Hey mommy, I finally figured out what I am.
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: I'm filipeño!
Me: Sweetie, it's just filipino. Not filipeño like the pepper.
Her: Well, everybody always thinks I'm Mexican so I just added a little flavor.
Me: You're. A. Genius.
My boss. The Dennis Hopper of my life. The "Pop Quiz Asshole." One on one, he's actually great. Add a couple more people in the mix, good god, where's my gun?
Him: Okay, pop quiz people.
Everybody: ::sigh::
Him: How do you alphabetize?
Yah, I'm not even going to dignify that with anymore banter.
There are so many more people in my life that I will mention throughout this blog. I'm not forgetting you, I promise. It is Monday though and I have to get to work. I'm almost positive that I'm working with Dennis Hopper this morning. I'm also positive that I might need a beer after work. Have a great day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/29/10
This is Why I'm Doomed.
My reincarnate. She is why I'm doomed. She's the cutest little troublemaker in the south. She annoys me to no end but makes me laugh out loud into pigsnorts.
My tween. She is also why I'm doomed. She's a melting pot of emotions that I don't understand. Seriously, stop crying already!
A conversation with my reincarnate.
K: Mommy! I read this entire chapter book!
Me: Awesome! How much points is it worth?
K: Enough to shut my teacher up about my AR goal.
Me: Hey now, don't be rude.
K: Ooops, sorry. It's worth a lot though.
Me: So you can take the test on it tomorrow then.
K: Oh yah, I'm so gonna ace that test. There's just one thing I don't get.
Me: Hmmmmm? (At this point, I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed into reading this damn book. I really don't wanna have to read a 2nd grade chapter book.)
K: Can you explain something to me?
Me: ::sigh:: Sure sweetie. What's up?
K: Who would name their kid "Cha-low?"
Me: "Cha-low?"
K: Yah, isn't that the craziest name? That was the main character's name. How embarrassing!
Me: ::confusion::realization::sigh:: Sweetie.....that's......Chloe.
K: Ooooooooooh, that makes more sense.
I'm doomed.
A conversation with my melting pot of a tween.
M: Mom? What does "Shawty" mean?
Me: Why?
M: Cause the next door neighbors are always saying it.
Me: Um.....how do I define this? I'm Jean, your WHITE mom. I haven't any idea how to explain what "shawty" means.
M: Whatever.
She walks away and I don't see her for about 15 minutes. This is the conversation I overheard between her and her dad.
M: Hey dad, I have a nickname at school now.
Him: Oh yah, what is it?
M: "Shawty!"
Him: Shorty? Who the hell calls you that?
M: Everybody does....um...cause I'm short!
Him: You're one of the tallest girls in your class. That makes no sense. And that isn't what "shawty" means.
M: What does it mean then?
At this point, I decide to call her out. Cause in high school, my nickname was "Bitchy!"
Me: You're such a liar! You just asked me like 10 minutes ago what that meant....now it's your nickname at school.
M: It is! I'm not a liar.
Me: Whatever "Shawty!" You so crazy! (I said this in my best Martin Lawrence voice.)
Dad: Oh snap.....you got schooled yo!
Me: Old school homie!
M: Stawwwwwwwwp! I hate you guys. ::tears::
Me: My work here is done. Go forth "Shawty" and be superfly with your bad self.
::SLAM::BANG::
I'm doomed but it sure is funny.
Have a great Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My tween. She is also why I'm doomed. She's a melting pot of emotions that I don't understand. Seriously, stop crying already!
A conversation with my reincarnate.
K: Mommy! I read this entire chapter book!
Me: Awesome! How much points is it worth?
K: Enough to shut my teacher up about my AR goal.
Me: Hey now, don't be rude.
K: Ooops, sorry. It's worth a lot though.
Me: So you can take the test on it tomorrow then.
K: Oh yah, I'm so gonna ace that test. There's just one thing I don't get.
Me: Hmmmmm? (At this point, I'm thinking that I'm gonna get screwed into reading this damn book. I really don't wanna have to read a 2nd grade chapter book.)
K: Can you explain something to me?
Me: ::sigh:: Sure sweetie. What's up?
K: Who would name their kid "Cha-low?"
Me: "Cha-low?"
K: Yah, isn't that the craziest name? That was the main character's name. How embarrassing!
Me: ::confusion::realization::sigh:: Sweetie.....that's......Chloe.
K: Ooooooooooh, that makes more sense.
I'm doomed.
A conversation with my melting pot of a tween.
M: Mom? What does "Shawty" mean?
Me: Why?
M: Cause the next door neighbors are always saying it.
Me: Um.....how do I define this? I'm Jean, your WHITE mom. I haven't any idea how to explain what "shawty" means.
M: Whatever.
She walks away and I don't see her for about 15 minutes. This is the conversation I overheard between her and her dad.
M: Hey dad, I have a nickname at school now.
Him: Oh yah, what is it?
M: "Shawty!"
Him: Shorty? Who the hell calls you that?
M: Everybody does....um...cause I'm short!
Him: You're one of the tallest girls in your class. That makes no sense. And that isn't what "shawty" means.
M: What does it mean then?
At this point, I decide to call her out. Cause in high school, my nickname was "Bitchy!"
Me: You're such a liar! You just asked me like 10 minutes ago what that meant....now it's your nickname at school.
M: It is! I'm not a liar.
Me: Whatever "Shawty!" You so crazy! (I said this in my best Martin Lawrence voice.)
Dad: Oh snap.....you got schooled yo!
Me: Old school homie!
M: Stawwwwwwwwp! I hate you guys. ::tears::
Me: My work here is done. Go forth "Shawty" and be superfly with your bad self.
::SLAM::BANG::
I'm doomed but it sure is funny.
Have a great Friday!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/26/10
It's a Battery Life
{{dirty thought}}
Now that I got that outta my system, I'll explain. It might be a surprising fact that I'm a very positive person in this relationship. I always think the best and think that positive energy makes everything turn out okay. And no, I'm not the type of person that thinks I'm unlucky when it doesn't. I don't think the world is out to get me. I don't think that at all.
I know, I've mentioned karma but I truly believe in karma. Karma isn't out to get me though. It's just there to bang me over the head with reality sometimes.
When my husband and I first started going out, we were always the unlucky couple. Our proms were inundated with flat tires, limo hit and runs, missed dances by like 2 minutes and reservations not in the system when we arrived at the restaurant. Long trips either had an overheated radiator 3 hours into the trip or a speeding ticket 5 minutes into the trip. Now you would think these occurrences would lead me into a negative way of thinking. Not so! I just think life thought we needed some excitement. Thanks life, 'preciate it!
20 years into our relationship, it hasn't changed much. I am the positive side of this battery and my husband is the negative. He is the one that believes that life is out to get us. Any kink in his chain, he falls to pieces and goes on a tangent on how life sucks. If I get a kink in my chain, I usually take a breath and patiently unkink the chain.
How does this type of relationship work? Well shit! I haven't a freaking clue. It drives me bonkers that this logical man believes that luck is not on our side. It drives me crazy that this man actually believes luck is the down cursor of all our "misfortunes."
Luck has nothing to do with it. Luck is just what you decide to get you down....or up for that matter. I believe and been proved correct most of the time that if you've been wronged, you can usually find a loophole or some fine print to get out of it. Yesterday, for a split second, I saw a glimpse of this positive energy attack my husband. He was attempting to read that fine print or find that elusive loophole. I've never laughed so hard in awhile.
Husband: I just broke another tooth.
Me: Again!?
Husband: Damn, freaking Doritos.
Me: You're blaming the Doritos and not wondering why you've once again broke another tooth?
Husband: I think it's a crown.
Me: Oh well that's good. You'll just need $500 for a new crown and not $1000 for a root canal.
Husband: Do you remember who did this crown?
Me: I really don't pay that much attention to your dental hygiene. That's your own thing.
Husband: I don't think they're supposed to break like this. I think I may get something out of this.
Me: You think a crown has a lifetime warranty?
Husband: Well, that or some kind of guarantee!
Me: Sweetie? It's a crown. I don't think crowns have a warranty more than a week after they install it. It ain't a Blu-Ray player.
Husband: Well, that's bullshit!
Me: No, that's just life. Quit eating so god damn much and breaking your teeth on stooopid things.
Husband: So this is my fault?
Me: Um....no honey, you're right. I blame the Doritos and the faulty crown.
And there you have it. He tried and he failed to find the brighter side. Did he hold on to this new way of thinking that life is NOT out to get him?
Nope! Two hours later, after putting in our new Blu-ray of Avatar.
Husband: It's not working!!!!
Me: Calm down.
Husband: It's been loading for like 2 minutes.
Me: Well the pack came with a DVD too so just put that one in.
Husband: This is bullshit! We need a new Blu-Ray player...shit, we might as well get a new TV too. This place is going to shit! When it rains, it's a fucking shit-storm on the Bonifacio's.
Me: Yah, poor you. Want a Dorito?
Happy Monday people! It's gonna be a fantastic, busy day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
Now that I got that outta my system, I'll explain. It might be a surprising fact that I'm a very positive person in this relationship. I always think the best and think that positive energy makes everything turn out okay. And no, I'm not the type of person that thinks I'm unlucky when it doesn't. I don't think the world is out to get me. I don't think that at all.
I know, I've mentioned karma but I truly believe in karma. Karma isn't out to get me though. It's just there to bang me over the head with reality sometimes.
When my husband and I first started going out, we were always the unlucky couple. Our proms were inundated with flat tires, limo hit and runs, missed dances by like 2 minutes and reservations not in the system when we arrived at the restaurant. Long trips either had an overheated radiator 3 hours into the trip or a speeding ticket 5 minutes into the trip. Now you would think these occurrences would lead me into a negative way of thinking. Not so! I just think life thought we needed some excitement. Thanks life, 'preciate it!
20 years into our relationship, it hasn't changed much. I am the positive side of this battery and my husband is the negative. He is the one that believes that life is out to get us. Any kink in his chain, he falls to pieces and goes on a tangent on how life sucks. If I get a kink in my chain, I usually take a breath and patiently unkink the chain.
How does this type of relationship work? Well shit! I haven't a freaking clue. It drives me bonkers that this logical man believes that luck is not on our side. It drives me crazy that this man actually believes luck is the down cursor of all our "misfortunes."
Luck has nothing to do with it. Luck is just what you decide to get you down....or up for that matter. I believe and been proved correct most of the time that if you've been wronged, you can usually find a loophole or some fine print to get out of it. Yesterday, for a split second, I saw a glimpse of this positive energy attack my husband. He was attempting to read that fine print or find that elusive loophole. I've never laughed so hard in awhile.
Husband: I just broke another tooth.
Me: Again!?
Husband: Damn, freaking Doritos.
Me: You're blaming the Doritos and not wondering why you've once again broke another tooth?
Husband: I think it's a crown.
Me: Oh well that's good. You'll just need $500 for a new crown and not $1000 for a root canal.
Husband: Do you remember who did this crown?
Me: I really don't pay that much attention to your dental hygiene. That's your own thing.
Husband: I don't think they're supposed to break like this. I think I may get something out of this.
Me: You think a crown has a lifetime warranty?
Husband: Well, that or some kind of guarantee!
Me: Sweetie? It's a crown. I don't think crowns have a warranty more than a week after they install it. It ain't a Blu-Ray player.
Husband: Well, that's bullshit!
Me: No, that's just life. Quit eating so god damn much and breaking your teeth on stooopid things.
Husband: So this is my fault?
Me: Um....no honey, you're right. I blame the Doritos and the faulty crown.
And there you have it. He tried and he failed to find the brighter side. Did he hold on to this new way of thinking that life is NOT out to get him?
Nope! Two hours later, after putting in our new Blu-ray of Avatar.
Husband: It's not working!!!!
Me: Calm down.
Husband: It's been loading for like 2 minutes.
Me: Well the pack came with a DVD too so just put that one in.
Husband: This is bullshit! We need a new Blu-Ray player...shit, we might as well get a new TV too. This place is going to shit! When it rains, it's a fucking shit-storm on the Bonifacio's.
Me: Yah, poor you. Want a Dorito?
Happy Monday people! It's gonna be a fantastic, busy day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/21/10
Living in a Sea of Estrogen.
When I was growing up, my father was the only guy in our family. He was always surrounded by moody women and girly angst. Poor guy.
I never quite understood the qualms of it because I was one of the....angsters? Today, I look at my husband and can finally see the predicament of being outnumbered. Don't get me wrong or anything, I don't feel sorry for him. I do however understand when he gets that look in his eye. You know the look. The, "Oh good god, what's wrong now?" look. Yah, he has that look on his face a lot.
As an adult female, I can rationalize when I'm in a mood. I can actually give fair warning. As an adult female though, I don't have the patience for the "other" females in the house. I mean seriously, how in the hell can you be smiling one minute then crying the next. Check yourself girls. Don't mess with the momma bear cause I will eat you....with BBQ sauce.
Another problem is we haven't quite reached full capacity of just how bad it could be. No, my oven is closed. I'm not adding onto the angst with more children. I'm just cringing when these little women become real women with all their hormones and mass amounts of tampons....or feminine napkins as my husband calls them. When that happens, I may have to find a way to sweeten the pot of home because my husband is going to run out of here screaming.
M (daughter): Can I walk to Market Street with my friends?
Me: It'll be 8 o'clock in 20 minutes. You need to be inside by then. Can you make it back in 20 minutes.
M (daughter): I think so. I'll text you if I'm gonna be late.
Me: Um.....no. You either commit to coming back on time or you don't go. ::looking at my husband:: Am I being unreasonable?
Husband: It's a school night. I don't see her making it back in time.
M (daughter): Fine! I'll just stay home, in my flowery room so you can keep me prisoner!
Me: Are you freaking kidding me?
Husband: I know she just didn't say that.
Me: Oh yes she did!
M (daughter): You never let me do anything! I'm in 6th grade and you treat me like a baby.
Me: Which is it? A prisoner or a baby? Because I can do both.
M (daughter): You think you're so funny but you're not.
Me: Oh I ain't trying to be funny right now. I'm asking a question. If you want funny, let's go! You, my dear, are about three seconds from being grounded. You're about 5 seconds from your dad showing what a prisoner really is. Annnnnd you're about 10 seconds from wishing you were never born.
M (daughter): I'm not afraid of you.
Husband: Oh shit! And we always thought your were the smart one. Your mom scares the shit outta me so you better take some cover M. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Did I beat the crap outta her? Nope! Oh boy, did I want to but she's 12 years old. I merely followed through with every threat.
1) I grounded her.
2) I told her dad, "If you don't take over, I might do something that'll put me in jail."
So therefore, 3) Her dad took over and as I've explained before, my husband is an asshole. He took her to her room, yelled at her for being rude and dramatic.....and M ended the night wishing she was dead.
Victory was mine!
I've also found the loophole of living in a sea of estrogen. Claim hormones and the testosterone in the house takes over.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
I never quite understood the qualms of it because I was one of the....angsters? Today, I look at my husband and can finally see the predicament of being outnumbered. Don't get me wrong or anything, I don't feel sorry for him. I do however understand when he gets that look in his eye. You know the look. The, "Oh good god, what's wrong now?" look. Yah, he has that look on his face a lot.
As an adult female, I can rationalize when I'm in a mood. I can actually give fair warning. As an adult female though, I don't have the patience for the "other" females in the house. I mean seriously, how in the hell can you be smiling one minute then crying the next. Check yourself girls. Don't mess with the momma bear cause I will eat you....with BBQ sauce.
Another problem is we haven't quite reached full capacity of just how bad it could be. No, my oven is closed. I'm not adding onto the angst with more children. I'm just cringing when these little women become real women with all their hormones and mass amounts of tampons....or feminine napkins as my husband calls them. When that happens, I may have to find a way to sweeten the pot of home because my husband is going to run out of here screaming.
M (daughter): Can I walk to Market Street with my friends?
Me: It'll be 8 o'clock in 20 minutes. You need to be inside by then. Can you make it back in 20 minutes.
M (daughter): I think so. I'll text you if I'm gonna be late.
Me: Um.....no. You either commit to coming back on time or you don't go. ::looking at my husband:: Am I being unreasonable?
Husband: It's a school night. I don't see her making it back in time.
M (daughter): Fine! I'll just stay home, in my flowery room so you can keep me prisoner!
Me: Are you freaking kidding me?
Husband: I know she just didn't say that.
Me: Oh yes she did!
M (daughter): You never let me do anything! I'm in 6th grade and you treat me like a baby.
Me: Which is it? A prisoner or a baby? Because I can do both.
M (daughter): You think you're so funny but you're not.
Me: Oh I ain't trying to be funny right now. I'm asking a question. If you want funny, let's go! You, my dear, are about three seconds from being grounded. You're about 5 seconds from your dad showing what a prisoner really is. Annnnnd you're about 10 seconds from wishing you were never born.
M (daughter): I'm not afraid of you.
Husband: Oh shit! And we always thought your were the smart one. Your mom scares the shit outta me so you better take some cover M. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Did I beat the crap outta her? Nope! Oh boy, did I want to but she's 12 years old. I merely followed through with every threat.
1) I grounded her.
2) I told her dad, "If you don't take over, I might do something that'll put me in jail."
So therefore, 3) Her dad took over and as I've explained before, my husband is an asshole. He took her to her room, yelled at her for being rude and dramatic.....and M ended the night wishing she was dead.
Victory was mine!
I've also found the loophole of living in a sea of estrogen. Claim hormones and the testosterone in the house takes over.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
4/15/10
Arguing for the Sake of Arguing.
This isn't me by any means. Personally, I don't like arguing all that much. When I get backed into a corner or feel that I'm losing an argument...I tend to get kind of violent. Violent meaning I want to drive somebody's, anybody's head through a wall.
My violent tendencies only increase if the argument is so incredibly stupid that I can't believe I'm wasting my time on it.
After going to bed last night, AT FREAKING MIDNIGHT, I snuggled in my blankets with my Nook in the ON position, my husband wants to take this time to talk. I have to admit, when I'm comfortable and have my reading brain ON, please don't try to talk to me. My husband knows this but never really cares about this either.
Husband: I'm so glad you got those tickets back to California. I was sweatin' those.
Me: You're welcome. You know me, give me a job to do and I'm going to do it. I'm just glad we land in Oakland.
Husband: I'm just glad you got us on Southwest and we don't have to pay for our checked baggage.
Me: Me too. (At this point, I'm really not paying attention. I've started reading.)
Husband: The only thing I hate about Southwest is the way they seat you. You'd think they'd seat you from back to front but they start from the front. Idiots!
Me: (I've stopped reading. My husband's knowledge of anything travel is zero.) No they don't. They don't have assigned seating. You pick your seat when you get on the plane.
Husband: No they don't. We had assigned seats the last time.
Me: What last time? We've never ridden on Southwest. It was always an affiliate.
Husband: Yes we did and we had assigned seats.
Me: Hey babe? What can I say right now to end this tit for tat you got going right now? I don't have the patience to do this right now.
Husband: Admit I'm right.
Me: Whatever. In two months when I'm proved right, I get nothing. This is stupid. You're welcome and I'm sorry you know nothing about Southwest.
Sadly, this went on for at least twenty more minutes. It was a stupid argument that escalated to little zingers from my husband.
Him: I'm gonna get some part times because we're going to need some extra cash.
(Meaning: Thank god you have me because I always have extra cash.)
Him: You know my parents are gonna be making us dinner every night. Maybe you could make dinner a couple times when we're there.
(Meaning: You're going to have to pay your way with this trip somehow.)
Him: You're not planning on turning this into a Jean vacation by going out with your friends all the time we're there, are you?
(Meaning: I'm going to start the guilt early on how I've lost touch with all of my friends and you still have most of yours.)
Let's call this what it is though. It was past midnight and we were tired. He knew exactly what he was doing and I did too. Did I close my eyes finally, thinking how long I would have to smother him before he stopped breathing?
No. I merely said, "Goodnight sweetie. The best part about going home is we get to see your parents and your family. All the rest, like me seeing my friends and showing the girls where we're from are just fantastic bonuses. I can't wait and even better? If home starts to get on our nerves....we get to leave and come back to our haven in Texas."
So, who won this argument? Why, me of course.
1) He's still alive.
2) I never once called him a dumbass.
3) The family vacation is going to be great no matter what.
Happy Thursday people! It's my last day off so I plan on doing it right.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
My violent tendencies only increase if the argument is so incredibly stupid that I can't believe I'm wasting my time on it.
After going to bed last night, AT FREAKING MIDNIGHT, I snuggled in my blankets with my Nook in the ON position, my husband wants to take this time to talk. I have to admit, when I'm comfortable and have my reading brain ON, please don't try to talk to me. My husband knows this but never really cares about this either.
Husband: I'm so glad you got those tickets back to California. I was sweatin' those.
Me: You're welcome. You know me, give me a job to do and I'm going to do it. I'm just glad we land in Oakland.
Husband: I'm just glad you got us on Southwest and we don't have to pay for our checked baggage.
Me: Me too. (At this point, I'm really not paying attention. I've started reading.)
Husband: The only thing I hate about Southwest is the way they seat you. You'd think they'd seat you from back to front but they start from the front. Idiots!
Me: (I've stopped reading. My husband's knowledge of anything travel is zero.) No they don't. They don't have assigned seating. You pick your seat when you get on the plane.
Husband: No they don't. We had assigned seats the last time.
Me: What last time? We've never ridden on Southwest. It was always an affiliate.
Husband: Yes we did and we had assigned seats.
Me: Hey babe? What can I say right now to end this tit for tat you got going right now? I don't have the patience to do this right now.
Husband: Admit I'm right.
Me: Whatever. In two months when I'm proved right, I get nothing. This is stupid. You're welcome and I'm sorry you know nothing about Southwest.
Sadly, this went on for at least twenty more minutes. It was a stupid argument that escalated to little zingers from my husband.
Him: I'm gonna get some part times because we're going to need some extra cash.
(Meaning: Thank god you have me because I always have extra cash.)
Him: You know my parents are gonna be making us dinner every night. Maybe you could make dinner a couple times when we're there.
(Meaning: You're going to have to pay your way with this trip somehow.)
Him: You're not planning on turning this into a Jean vacation by going out with your friends all the time we're there, are you?
(Meaning: I'm going to start the guilt early on how I've lost touch with all of my friends and you still have most of yours.)
Let's call this what it is though. It was past midnight and we were tired. He knew exactly what he was doing and I did too. Did I close my eyes finally, thinking how long I would have to smother him before he stopped breathing?
No. I merely said, "Goodnight sweetie. The best part about going home is we get to see your parents and your family. All the rest, like me seeing my friends and showing the girls where we're from are just fantastic bonuses. I can't wait and even better? If home starts to get on our nerves....we get to leave and come back to our haven in Texas."
So, who won this argument? Why, me of course.
1) He's still alive.
2) I never once called him a dumbass.
3) The family vacation is going to be great no matter what.
Happy Thursday people! It's my last day off so I plan on doing it right.
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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