I'm allergic to Texas.

I've been waiting for four months for the weather to finally cooperate and allow my tube tops out of the drawer. With my good must give me some bad though. Like the clockwork of the Texas bugs come the Spring allergies. It seems my entire family has them. Nobody is worse than the other. We're all miserable. I like to think that me in a tube top takes away from the atrocious red nose, itchy eyes and exploding sneezes. Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

Were my allergies as bad in California? I don't think they were. At least I don't remember suffering like I do in Texas. I remember taking some Claritin but it wasn't like if I missed a dose like if I ever do in Texas I ended up wanting to cut my head off.

I've lived in Texas for over nine years and there is really no possibility of me leaving. This is my home now. I'm actually beginning to love Texas in a way. (Shhhh. Don't tell California please.) Here are some reasons that I love Texas. But with love must come hate so I'll include those too.

1 love) It snows here in Texas. It could snow like a foot and in less than two days, it'll be gone and you'd never know it snowed.

1 hate) The sun is a tricky little bastard. Because it's so flat, a sunny day can mean nothing with the wind. I've been known to freeze my ass off on a soccer field wearing a tube top and shivering with the winds.

2 love) The seasons are beautiful like they're supposed to be.

2 hate) The months in Spring have there own bugs. My least favorite are the May Flies which look like GIANT mosquitoes and the June bugs which are like GIANT brown flying beetles. The May Flies are just annoying but the June bugs attack you! I'm convinced they're retarded because they'll land on anything or dive bomb you. And when they do land on skin....they burrow into your skin. I hate those fvckers! I like to crush em and leave their carcasses in a pile for the birds in the morning. It's my gift to Spring! :)

3 love) Texas is known and loved for it's shopping and food.

3 hate) All true Texans know how to do is shop and eat. There are certain towns that think they're so much better than other towns. They're snooty Texans and sometimes I have to pinch myself from throttling them and screaming, "I'm from California dammit! You ain't got nothing on me!"

4 love) The houses are freaking awesome. Our house was $130,000 and would probably be about $350,000 in California.

4 hate) The prospect of selling our house is moot because they keep building more houses here. It's never ending with the building of houses here. Not that I wanna move but an investment of a "starter home" to my husband has gone down the toilet and become our "forever home" here in McKinney, Texas. (This would be a husband hate.)

5 love) My friends are from all walks of life. I have older friends and younger friends and I wouldn't trade them for a million dollars. I mean seriously, where can you hang out with a true Mississippian at a bar and the next day eat some BBQ with a true Texan? Nowhere I tell ya!

5 hate) I haven't yet developed a love for cowboys. You know the ones? The cowboy hats, the boots. Nope, I still think that looks ridiculous. Wranglers which in California would put you in a group you could never get out of is perfectly fine here. As a Cali-girl, I still can't see a pair of Wranglers and think, "What a nerd!"

6 love) The Texas twang. Oh yah people, I've got it! It's not slap your face twang but it comes out. I say y'all and the Spanish language, whenever it's attempted with my tongue is a sort of Spanglish twang. It's adorable. Oh and good god, you get me to spend more than four hours with my Mississippian friend? Oh I do Mississippi good too.

6 hate) My husband is constantly making fun of me when my Texas twang shows. I've discovered it's because he can't do it. Anytime he attempts to say y'all, it comes out, "yah-allllll!" And if you haven't figured my husband out by now, when he can't do something, he makes fun of the people that can.

7 love) And finally, Texas just feels like home to me. It's far away from anybody that knows or remembers me. I in a sense, recreated myself here. I'm still the same girl I've always been but here in Texas, I don't have old skeletons pointing their fingers at me.

7 hate) I'm not from here. I sometimes miss my old skeletons. I miss the people that remember me. I miss the places that I knew secrets about. I went "home" in December and for the first time in a long time, it was good to be "home." Trips "home" are scarce because the economy sucks but "home" isn't Texas at times when I need to embrace the piece of myself that isn't in Texas.

So there you have it. Texas and Jeanie. We are like a married couple. We have a love/hate relationship. I would never trade it but I wouldn't mind a trial separation from time to time.



If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.