Well....what do I say?

My daughter, M, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes yesterday. I suspected it for a couple weeks now. That's not hard to admit. What is hard to admit is I was waiting until I was ready to face it instead of getting her the help she needed. :(

They admitted her immediately and transported her by ambulance to Children's Dallas. She's being very brave. She's hydrated and they're sticking her with insulin to regulate her blood sugar.

I still haven't had my moment. I was talking to someone last night and said, "I'm not ready yet. If I start to cry, it'll be too real." The reply? "Jeannie, it's already real. You have no problem speaking your thoughts....let go and let your heart speak for a change." You would've thought that would've broke me, but it didn't. I'm still trying to keep it together. I can't lose it. I just can't. That someone doesn't read my blog but I just wanted to say, I will, I promise, just not right now.

Here are some quotes from my 12 year old yesterday and some talks we had throughout the long day in the hospital.

Me: I'm so sorry.

M: Is it bad?

Me: No, but it changes everything.

M: Oh mom, it could be Cancer. I can deal with a little change.

Check her out! She's like me with her positive outlook....where the hell did mine go?

M: Diet soda?

Me: Yep!

M: Gross.

Me: Oh sweetie, do you know how hot your momma is gonna be with your new diet?

M: Yah, people are gonna ask you your secret and you can do your pose and tell em, my daughter got diabetes.

Me: Yep!

I hope everybody Thursday is good. Today is going to be information overload for both M and I. The good news is they won't let us leave the hospital without knowing everything there is to know about diabetes. I feel very comfortable knowing that. I just wish we were doing it for knowledge. I know this isn't the end of the world, I just wish it wasn't M's world now.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.