...not to be confused with me avoiding my duties as a mother though.
1) Wake em up.
2) Wake em up again.
3) Wake em up AGAIN by using the f-word.
4) Listening to one of em cry because she can't find her new pants.
5) Relaying that crying of pants that are in the drawer and NOT missing is ridiculous.
6) Telling the other one to hurry up and do her shot.
7) Telling the other one again to hurry up and do her shot.
8) Tightening the pant's waist that were missing before.
9) Finding one of em crying because the previous MIA pants are "itchy" in the back where the tag is.
Good lord, when does this end? Yes, I know, I know. Never. Ask my mother, she still gets to see me cry over the stupidest things. And yes, I know, I made the decision to procreate. My fault.
On a lighter note, about 5 minutes ago, I noticed a bulge the size of big assdom.
Me: What is wrong with your butt?
K: I put a wet towel back there because it hurt.
Me: A wet towel. You put a wet towel back there?
K: ::tear:: Now my pants are wet AND itchy.
Husband: Lemme see.
K: Fix it daddy.
Me: Yes, fix your daughter's ass.
Husband: Jeez K, pull your underwear up. Why do you wear em so low?
K: Mommy wears em low.
Husband: No she doesn't.
K: Do you think they make thongs for kids?
Me: Why? So you can cry that your panties are up your butt?
Husband: To many, this would be a nightmare, surrounded by women my entire life that do nothing but whine and bitch. But to me, it's payback. Handle this Jean.
Me: Thanks, 'preciate it.
K: So do they make thongs?
Husband and Me: NO!!!
I think we're both getting paid back here. Have a great Hump Day!
If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.
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I'm sure someone somewhere makes thongs for little kids. At least she's not going "commando" though. BTW, I read in a book last night that if you wear stockings you can piss down your leg and it won't leak out.
ReplyDeleteI thank god that she doesn't read my blog as I know she'd do the stocking trick tomorrow. This is the girl that tried to convince me that toothpaste before bed works like coffee and keeps her up.
ReplyDeleteShut up kid and go brush your teeth....ya scrub. :)