I got me a jobbity job!

Today is my first day back in the working world. I haven't worked in over four years. How am I feeling about this?

1) A little nervous.
2) I'm pretty tired.
3) I'm very excited.

When I went to the mandatory orientation, I thought to myself, "I can't wait until this feeling isn't new anymore." I hate walking into a situation that is new. I can make friends with a tree. That isn't to say that most of my friends are like trees but seriously, you give me five minutes of your time, you and I are going to be friends. It's just too hard to hate me. Why try?

I've been known to most to be very funny. In fact, people look to me sometimes for that little sliver of funny to get them through their day. Do I mind? Nope! Happy to oblige. My one problem with this is, what if I can't deliver? My friend, who I used to work with before, is training me this week. In fact, I'm kind of taking over her job. It's her turn to stay home with the kids. Well, she's been telling stories. Stories about the "old" days. Stories about me. Stories that would make a person expect some pretty funny shit coming their way with me. I know y'all are thinking that I'm being ridiculous but here's what these people know about me from a text my friend sent me from work.

Her: Hey! What's a Fleshlight? My co-workers won't tell me.

Me: Um, it's a cylinder case with flesh-like stuff inside for a man to enjoy with insertion. (Yah, I totally answered right away. I. Am. Such. A. Freak.)

Her: Oh! Ewwwwwwwww!

Her: BTW, my co-workers are laughing at your description.

Me: That ain't all they're laughing at. The fact that you knew I would be the one to ask, I am somewhat proud.

Not to mention the couple thousand stories from our old job where I had a 6% customer service rating AND being referred to as the "Tube Top Queen." I think I'm potentially walking into a situation where they're going to be expecting a lot!

Also mentioning that I'll be wearing some kick-ass khakis and a smokin' hot red shirt. Man, I am a Target fantasy right now. My first paycheck? Ima buy me a coffee maker with my 10% discount. Don't be jealous. If you want, I'll make you a cup of coffee sometime.

And the even better news about this? I will never run out of things to say on this here blog. Trust me people....I'm going to be reintroduced to some pretty freaky people. Pharmacy is by far the best place to be. I know, my fellow pharmacy technicians are totally rolling their eyes right now. Come on guys, where else can you meet someone over the age of 70, buying condoms AND a 30 day supply of Viagra? Stay tuned and wish me luck.



If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.