Bitter Beer Faces

First off, Happy St. Patrick's Day! My grandfather was all Irish so this is my holiday too. I'll be wearing my green and coloring my beer today.

I'm a horrible liar. Anybody with half a brain can tell when I'm lying. They can tell by my body language. They can tell by the sound of my voice. They can tell by the look on my face. My husband says that I raise my eyebrows, widen my eyes and my voice gets two octaves higher. It's highly annoying that he knows me so well. He mostly finds it funny unless I'm lying about something big. I haven't had to tell one of those big lies in awhile.

I've always been good at reading faces though. I have a friend that wears every emotion like a neon sign. I can tell her a story or explain something to her and I can tell the exact moment when I've lost her. Her eyes get all squinty and she purses her lips.

Now my husband is different. He always looks pissed off. Seriously, you can call his name to get his attention and when he turns around? Children would run from the look of death on his face. His brother and I once got a picture of it and giggled like lottery winners when we finally got photo evidence at what an a$$hole he is...or portrays himself to be.

Yesterday was a calm day. I was missing the older child to a sleepover and the younger child was outside most of the day with E. E is my older daughter's age. He's my carpool convo of comedic genius. I let her walk to Sonic with him and upon returning, I was given a lesson on facial expressions. My youngest will be known as K.

K: Hey mommy, look what I brought you! (She is holding an orange cream slush)

Me: Awesome! I'll come outside with you and drink it. Where's E?

E: Right here! (He sitting in my chair drinking his own orange cream slush)

Me: Your butt better vacate my chair before I sit on you.

E: Where am I going to sit? I just walked from here to Sonic and back again. What have you been doing?

Me: I've been busy being an adult. Move it or lose it buddy.

K: Let's have a picnic. (Without waiting for an answer, she runs inside and gets a blanket. As she reaches to close the door, she spills her milkshake all over the blanket.)

E: Greaaaaayyyyyt. I swear K, you are Murphy and the law is it will always happen to you. (He hands her his cream slush) You can have the rest of mine.

Me: Oh phew! Cause I wasn't gonna give her mine.

K: (kind of crying) Thanks. My mommy never shares.

E: I never knew that. (sarcasm) We can go get my tent and set it up.

At this point, they're leaving me. Also at this point, I'm so incredibly moved by the adorableness of these two that I've got this silly little grin on my face.

Me: Bye! You two lovebirds behave now!

Where as they both turned around, looking at me.

E with the quintessential "Bitter Beer" face and K with the quintessential "I'm gonna marry this guy one day" face.

I've obviously lost some ability at reading faces and I'm storing this little tale for later when E says something witty that I have no comeback to. ::evil grin::


If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.