The kindness of others is just a fantasy?

It's kind of a double crap shoot today so try to keep up. The comedic genius that I'm surrounded by is phenominal.

So yesterday I went to the grocery story and bought the fixings for some tostadas. I can't fry a corn tortilla to save my life so I had to wait for my tortilla fryer (ie. my husband) to get home before I could enjoy them. Of course the purchase was for the benefit of my stomach as well as my husbands but hey, shut up....it was good. So anyway, as we are enjoying our tostadas, we're also watching the pairs figure skating of the Olympics. Now my husband knows everything! (sarcasm) He would make the perfect judge for any event as he's "perfect" in everything. Nevermind that he's never skated or danced for that matter, he's still under the illusion that he knows what's good and what isn't. So after a barrage of criticism of a triple loop and double axle, we were patiently waiting for the Germans to perform their program. Here is why I loathe my husband at times.

Him: Why do the Germans have Russian last names?

Me: How the hell do you know what a Russian last name is?

Him: I can tell! They usually have a "k" or a "ch" in it.

Me: Oh puhlease! Give me one German name. I dare ya!

Him: HITLER!

Me: ::silence:: Dammit!

Yeah, it's okay, you can hate him too. Don't worry though because he's bound to say something stupid later in the week to make up for his genius answer.

So this morning is Carpool Tuesday. M2 delivered everybody in the neighborhood on Sunday, Valentine's Day cookies. The were heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink icing. Um......YUMMY!!! And let me also say that it was 22 degrees outside when she hand-delivered these cookies. I told you M2 was uber sweet. My daughter M was in a bad mood this morning so she didn't participate in the conversation.

Me: M2, thank you for the fantastic cookies on Valentine's Day! It was perfect timing as I was about to start eating spoonfuls of icing to get my sugar fix.

M2: Oh, you're welcome. Did you feel the love?

Me: I did. And it was so cold too so double thanks!

M2: Did you like my cookies E?

E: They were okay. We had a friend bring over cookies earlier that were awesome.

Me: E! You are such a.....a.....peckerhead! (I'm perfectly aware that I called a 12 year old a dickhead but seriously, he deserved it!)

M2: I will never deliver cookies to you again. Miss Jean will be getting yours now.

Me: SCORE!

M2: I'll have you know that I froze my butt off while delivering those cookies. And while you laid all snuggled in your blanket by a warm fire eating your "awesome" cookies, my feet were turning blue.

E: Ladies, please. Your fantasies of me are all wrong. There was no fire.

So, back to the subject. "The kindness of others is just fantasy?" Granted, my kindness was purely for my benefit but he did get a couple tostadas too. AND he managed to shut me up for a second. M2's kindness wasn't for anything but to spread the love. Or as E thinks, so she could sneak a peek at his manliness by a warm fire. I'm going with M2 was just being her usual sweet self. E is just being a peckerhead.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.