Clueless by being male.

Men are so clueless. Well, that is incorrect. They aren't clueless where they don't realize they've done something....about fifteen minutes too late.

What pray tell had led me to this conclusion? Well, I'm not blind. I'm not stupid. I'm not a man.

I've got about a thousand things to do today to keep my mind off a job interview I have tomorrow so this is going to be a short post. My husband and I are going to a banquet on Saturday. It's an annual thing and every freaking year I have to beg my husband to take me. I mean, come on! I wanna dress up and have some fun dammit! It's like Prom for adults. So I bought a dress yesterday finally. I always wait for the last minute cause 1) I love to buy cheap dresses and boy, was this dress cheap! and 2) I would rather stress for less when it comes to wondering if I'll look alright. So the dress is bought. Megan helped out and loved it. Sound good? Well not so as I still needed my husband's approval.

So here we go. I try it on and here's the convo.

Me: So, what do you think?

Husband: Looks good. (Seriously, this guy is about to be beat. Hello??!! It's strapless and my boobs are practically popping out. "Looks good?")

Me: Do I look like a fat ass? (Yah, I went there)

Husband: No. You look good. How much you wanna bet you'll be the dressiest one there?

Me: Why?

Husband: They changed it to "dress casual" this year. All the wives are pissed cause they wanna dress up.

Me: Well shit! When were you going to inform me of this jacka$$? (Cause seriously, a heads up would've been appreciated)

Husband: What does it matter? You would've dressed up anyway. You look good.

Me: I'm not going for good. I'm going for everyone looking at us and saying, "What the hell is she doing with him?"

Husband: They say that anyway. Your tube tops are famous.

Me: So what are you wearing? (This is where my husband went from clueless to the 15 minute rule of, "Oh shit, how do I save this?")

Husband: With you in that dress? I'm wearing my black suit. I have to at least look like I somewhat belong with you.

Me: Nice save but Ima need more enthusiasm about how hot I look.

Husband: Make me. (He's kidding by the way)

Me: Okay. How about I wear the 4 inch heels and tower over your short ass making you truly look like you paid me to attend this with you. (I'm not kidding by the way)

Husband: How about I just say that you are always the prettiest one at these banquets and you settle with the 2 inch heels?

Me: Deal.

The 4 inch heels hurt my feet anyway.

If I've offended you or expressed anything you don't agree with, don't worry, I'll probably do it again.